I took a deep breath as Libra took her last. I released the illusion that my Shikai held over her and broke the could have been future that lingered in the back of my mind. She couldn't see it anymore anyway. The fall had done so much damage, even though it seemed so insignificant. Maybe it was for the best. She wouldn't have to live with the loss of our child, she wouldn't have to blame herself. She didn't have to live with that pain.
But neither did I. I leaned back watching her. It looked like she was sleeping. Never had I watched someone die in such a peaceful manner. I hoped that it was the illusion I made her see while she was fighting for those last few moments. Fighting for a life that she'd never reach. A life that I could have never given her.
I hoped that seeing our daughter live her life and bring peace to everyone, had made her happy. I hoped that seeing our daughter make something of herself in the wasteland I called home had brought her peace. And I hoped that seeing our daughter carry our grandson had let her know that I'd do anything for her. I just wish that was how it had really played out. Instead, she was laying here, cold and lifeless.
I stood up on shaking legs and made my way over to the bed. I laid next to her on blood-stained sheets and wrapped my arms around her. I just wanted her to know peace before she died. I couldn't understand that feeling but it was worth it. I fell in love with this mortal girl that irritated me so much. I fell in love with her and now she was gone. She came into my life as an unwilling participant in my plan and left it as my willing queen.
I wanted her to know just how much I loved her but I didn't get the chance to tell her. She'd never know that everything she watched transpire in her last moments were fake, just an illusion created by me. If I weren't dying with her in my arms then I'd think she were an illusion. Something my mind had created to battle my lonely existence. You never really understood anything until you lived life in another way. The rich didn't understand the poor until they were poor themselves. People didn't understand what it was like raising a child until they had one themselves.
And I didn't understand how to love until I loved her. I realized too late that I loved her, though, I allowed myself to feel things I hadn't felt before when our time was growing short. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain that heartbreak brought. I pulled her to me tighter and smiled. At least she knew I loved her, and I'd like to think that the illusion of what could have been was enough to set her at peace, even if I couldn't find that myself. With those thoughts, I took my final breath.