Disclaimer: I do not own anything besides the few original works I include.
Claimer: Please don't take any original works I may add into a story.

Summary: Kazu is a young girl born in the Soul Society, Her journey has just begun and she is completely unaware of choices she will have to make. Standing on the edge of two equally dangerous paths she must decide which one to take. Will she be able to live with the choices she makes?

WARNING: Death, references to suicide and abuse of prescriptions, and mild language.

Suggested Age Limit: 14+

"Whole Heart"

Chapter 1: "Touch of Death"

Part One

It had been raining for ages. It just wouldn't stop. Mother was ill and father was stuck out of town. There was no way that Kimino would ever make it to a clinic to get help. I had to be the one to do it. I slipped into my pink rain boots and black raincoat. I pulled an umbrella out of the stand.

As soon as I got outside I realized the umbrella was useless. It flipped upside down before I even left to porch. I tossed it back inside. I fought against the wicked wind and the pelting rain. At one point I was knee deep in water. God, was it cold. The water only rushed pass me faster and faster as I got into town. I had to grab onto a railing to pull myself onto the lofted sidewalk of the clinic. The only clinic in town was ran by a old lady. As strange as she was, she was good at what she does.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The door swung open and an elderly lady grabbed the girl's blouse pulling her into the clinic. The woman fought with the door latching it shut. The deep brown nearly black eyes of the woman bore holes into the teenager. The young girl cleared her throat.

"My mother needs care," she said.

"Are you crazy child? No one should be out in weather like this," scolded the woman.

"But Doctor…"

"Go back home Kirina and stay there until the storm has passed. Use some of these cooling pads and some water bottles. Keep her hydrated," said the doctor.

"Didn't you just say it's too dangerous to be outside right now," huffed Kirina.

"Quit whining."

She was kooky one for sure. I scooped up the products and giving me what little money I had. Being in high school sucked. I was still expected to pay for stuff even though I didn't have much money.

Heading home was much more a challenge than I though. The water was up to my waist now in spots. Given I wasn't that tall. I had never seen the village flood like this before. The rain slapped me in the face as I tried to push through the water. The wind was whirling around me. It was impossible to see more than five meters in front, next to, or behind me. I had to grab onto the light post to pull myself to my driveway as the current was picking up. I was a good swimmer, but I wasn't going to test that theory.

I huffed and puffed as I stood on the porch trying to catch my breath. That took ages. I really needed to work-out more. I was soaked to the bone. My clothes clung to me for dear life. I pushed open the light.

The power was out. I went into the closet off the kitchen and turned on the generator. I went and pulled off one of the cooling pads and pressed the sticky side eon her forehead. I put a bottle of water on the nightstand while the rest went into the refrigerator. I put a hot pocket into the microwave for my sister. I couldn't believe how late it was. Did it really take me that long?

Kimino went upstairs to go to sleep. It was pretty boring so I couldn't blame her for trying sleep away the boredom. I changed into my most comfortable pajamas. Which happened to be Hello Kitty. My dad got them for me a few months ago. I swear he thinks I'm still five. But he did at least try. She hoped he was okay. He was probably stuck in some city. Trains and water don't' mixt too well.

I blanked for a few minutes in the bathroom. I shook it off. I stumbled a bit down the stairs. I nearly tripped. That wouldn't have felt too good for sure. Twenty four steps, I counted them myself. Ouch. Even thinking about falling down them was painful. I flopped onto the couch pulling a blanket off the top of it. I was so tired. I gave into the darkness.

Dawn came and the storm faded. Mother and Kimino awoke to a strong sweet smell. My sister went around looking for candy thinking I picked some up last night. Mother knew differently. There was a bitterns to the sweetness. She couldn't quite place it. She searched around the house looking for a dead animal, but found none. She saw me sleeping on the couch and just shrugged off the smell for a while. It got worse and worse throughout the day, but it wasn't strange for her me to sleep really late when there wasn't school. I starred at myself sleeping. What the hell! I went around trying to get mom's attention or Kimiko's attention, but she engaged by her I-pad.

It wasn't until midnight when father returned did mother start to panic as she could not wake me up. I was hovering there screaming at her that I wasn't going to wake up and top stop shaking me. My father thought nothing of mother shaking me like a ragdoll. Then once she started screaming at me he got up from the table putting the soggy newspaper on the table. He leaned over putting two fingers on my neck. The color drained from his face and it fell. His knees gave out. A bang in my chest grew. I was dead, wasn't I? Tears welled up my eyes but I forced them away.

"What? What's the matter!" screeched mother her eyes as huge as saucers.

"She's dead."

"That's not funny!"

"I'm being serious. She doesn't have a pulse."

"Then what are doing talking about it! Do CPR or something!"

"I can't raise the dead!"

They said I died from hypothermia. That my heart just simply gave out. How could I possible die from that when I got out of my wet clothes and I was under a blanket? It just doesn't add up. I couldn't stand just moping around watching my family grieve me. I thought kids could see spirits, but my little sister couldn't. Maybe she was just too distressed. The worse part of dying is watching my families and friend. And that dumb dope why the hell did he wait until I was dead to ask me out! I hated watching everyone cry over me. I'm one person, there are millions of others I'm sure my friends will find another replacement one day. I knew my parents can't exactly replace one of their children, but I knew they'd be okay.

Why wasn't I passing over? Isn't that what is supposed to happen? It had been nearly six months and I was still floating around. I found out one thing is that parents don't ever return to the way they were after losing a child. Being a professor meant nothing to my father anymore and he went to teach high school, my high school on top of that. There was no life in my mother's eyes. I wanted to lecture for being so freaking selfish. Kimino cried for weeks on end, but now there was some light back into her eyes and she was doing better in school than ever and she finally let those bitches bully her around. I couldn't be prouder. But I still worry about her she shouldn't have to feel like she had to put in so much effort into her academics because I did or that she has to fill my shoes. Sometimes I felt like maybe she could sense me around. She'd look straight at me, but I could tell she wasn't seeing me. If anyone had any idea I was still around it was my father. He'd still leave food in my room for me and sit in my room talking to me. I never really saw it coming. That day when my dad was working and my sister was at school. The day my mother packed up her stuff and leaving the briefest note I've ever seen: 'I can't do this. I'm sorry'. That was the first time I ever saw my father cry. He didn't just lose me, but now my mother. I hated her. I truly hated her for what she had done to our family.

I expected divorce papers not a police officer to arrive. It was that time of year where they clean out of the forests. My mother had committed suicide. How could she? How could see do this to them? She better not come around this house. I'll. I'll. I'll. I huffed in defeat. I couldn't do anything. I was dead.

Why did I still have to feel emotion? I curled up and sobbed for weeks and weeks. Shortly after the news my father went and got a puppy. It tiny tan flat nosed pug. It was so adorable. Kimono didn't give much attention to the puppy. She was hurting. I didn't blame her. The puppy became my father's shadow. A very clumsy shadow. The puppy ran into walls all the time unable to stop running chasing his toys. He chewed up anything he could get off the table: napkins, newspapers, books, homework, if it was close to the edge of the table it was his. Funny thing was the dog could see me. He'd bark at me and chase me around the house. I started to learn how to levitate the dog toy and throw it.

One day I got too carless. Man. Even in the afterlife I screwed up a lot.

"Good boy!"

The dog came barreling back wagging its curlicue tail. Damn was it cute. It was a little bigger now, but still freaking adorable.

I levitated the toy from where the dog dropped it at my feet and I launched it across the room. Suddenly the door swung open and bashed someone in the head. My eyes turned to saucers as I saw my best friend, Mamoru. He was with my father.

"That's quite odd," said my father tossing the toy.

"Yeah," said Mamoru as his voice cracked slightly. His eyes were starring right at me. Could he see me?

Apparently my father was trying to help him get caught up in science. He must have fell behind after I died. I suddenly felt awful for dying. Why did so many people have to care about me?

"Mr. Sakata do you believe in spirits?" asked Mamoru as I sat on the couch levitating the remote flipping through the TV channels until I found a new show.

"It goes against my scientific background, but I do like to think so. I hate to think I'll never see them again," sighed my father mournfully. I turned my head and sighed. I couldn't exactly tell him I was here. I've been trying for six months. The dog jumped into my non-existent lap. I could still feel its warm soft fur. Strange. I never used to be able to feel anything.

"I still feel like Kirina is still around. I still leave a plate of cookies for every time we make them. I swear sometimes someone has eaten them. I know it's not Kimiko. She won't go into that room since Kirina died. Maybe it's the dog," my father chuckled.

This wasn't like him to share anything personal like that. But I guess everyone needed someone to talk to. I did wonder who was eating the cookies, because I never did. An alarm bell was going off in my head, but I didn't know why.

"I know I'm going to sound crazy, but Kirina is right there. She turned the TV on," said Kimiko.

I blew a raspberry at him. "Why'd you have to go and ruin my fun? Now he's going to be talking to me all the freaking time?"

My father turned around to see the TV turned on. He scratched his head. I got up off the couch, much to the dog's dismay, and floated over to the table.

"Now look you broke him."

Mamoru glared at me. I flipped him off.

"Is she saying something?" my father asked.

"She's being obnoxious," huffed Mamoru.

"Am not!"

"What is she saying?"

"First she told me I ruined her fun and that you were going to talk to her all the time now. Then she said that I broke you. And now she's bickering with me."

"If you pulling my leg kid I swear….."

"I'm not!"

"I think you should leave."

Mamoru started to get up to leave. Stupid idiot. I kicked his chair out from underneath him making him fall on his ass. Maybe that would knock some sense into him. I didn't just move the chair a few feet, but across the room.

"How'd you do that?"

"I didn't. She did."

"I don't allow witchcraft into my room. Please leave before I forcible remove you."

"I overzealous stupid idiot! I'm the one doing it! Dumbass! I've been trying to tell you months that am here and now that I have the chance to do it I'm not going to let you ruin it. I would love to pass on into the afterlife! Whatever it is!"

My father shifted in his seat. I knew he couldn't hear me. But maybe he could still feel me. Just maybe.

"Go away bad spirit!" he shouted. So much for scientific reasoning.

"I'm not bad spirit idiot!"

The lights began to flicker in the house. The chandler was swinging slightly. The lights kept flashing like a lighting storm. Both of them looked around the room. If I could see myself I probably looked like a banshee. With crazy wild hair, glowing eyes and a look that could kill.

"Knock it off Kirina! You're going to attack real bad spirits! Or blow up the house!" shouted Mamoru, but his voice sounded so distant.

I couldn't stop. Not even if I wanted too. Everything was coming out at once. All the anger, guilt, sadness and loneliness came out at once. All the pain of watching the people I love suffer was too much. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Kirina-chun stop. Please," said my father as he ducked under the table as bolts of electricity were bouncing off the walls.

"I can't!"

The dog started barking and growling. But it wasn't at me. I knew that. I felt a sudden dread fall upon me. Then I fell to my knees. I couldn't breathe. The life was being sucked right out of the air.

"I don't think she's doing it! I think it's someone else!" said Mamoru scuttling under the table as well.

"I'd like to think she isn't trying to kill us," said my father.

"Whatever it is, its affect her too," agreed Mamoru "she totally kicked my chair, but I don't think she was actually angry enough to do all of this."

"She was angry?"

"Yeah. She's been trying to tell you that she was here for six months now. She just wants to move on."

"Under different circumstances I'd apologies, but right now I think we might be killed."

Hell no. No one was going to kill them. The only one who messed around with them was me. No other spirit had that right. I could feel something pulsing through me. I forced my legs up.

"Stop! Show yourself! Only a coward attacks living beings!" I shouted.

"Kirina I know your dead and all and death doesn't scare you. But sure does scare the crap out me," said Mamoru trying to reason with me.

"Shut up! I didn't ask for your opinion. You aren't going to die today," I growled.

"What did she say?"

"I thought she was angry before….I don't know what this is then."

My father chuckled "I used to call it Kirina's inner demon."

Then she appeared. Her skin was a murky grey. Her eyes had an amber glow. Her nails were more like claws then human nails. She had a nasty gleaming grin. But without a doubt. She was my mother. Or at least it was my mother.

"My dear you must know your no match for me. Just move out of my way so I can have my meal," hissed my mother.

"Like hell I will!"

"Great," grumbled Mamoru.

"What?"

"Apparently your wife turned into a banshee-like thing that wants to eat us."

"No wonder my mother called her a she-devil."

"Will you two shut up?" I growled.

"Kirina wants us to shut up."

A bolt of electricity came rushing at me. I didn't twitch or even dodge. I will not back down. I don't care if this is my mother's spirit or not. There is no way she's going to hurt them. I don't care what I have to do.

The bolt ricocheted inches from my face. As if it had hit a trampoline or something. What just happened? I probably don't want to know. How was I going to beat her? I didn't know how to control electricity. Wait I've been a spirit for six months and I can't control electricity yet and my mother died two months, which means this can't be her. It was a pretty big assumption since I've never seen another ghost before.

The next bolt came racing towards me. I had to try. Even if I die doing it. Wait, how could I die if am already dead. Whatever, am going for it! I starred at the bolt. No blinking. No blinking. God, I'm probably going cross-eyed. I took a deep breath. I want this bolt to hit her. This bolt is going to hit her. I can defeat her. I have to defeat her. This bolt will injury her.

Slowly the bolt stared the sway back and forth between us. I may not be able to conjure up my own bolts, but I could use hers against her. This bolt is mine! For a few seconds it came racing towards me and I thought it was over. Then suddenly it curved away from me and went straight back at the she-devil. She screeched in horror.

"You will pay for that!"

"We'll see about that."

I looked over at the couch. If I could distract her. Maybe I can find a way to attack her. She opened my right palm and then closed my fist as if I was grabbing the couch with my hands. I jarred my arm towards her then opened my fist at it let out. A second later the couch floated into the air then it whirled around hurling through the air at the lady monster. Next thing I know I'm behind her and I swung my leg around for a nice roundhouse kick. It actually connected with something. I expected my leg to go right through her. She flies into the kitchen wall cracking a section of the kitchen counters and ripping a few doors off the cabinets. Right as the she-devil growled the front door flew open.

"What the hell is going on in here?" shouted Kimono. Those words didn't sound right coming out of the mouth of an eleven- year-old.

"Oh goodie there are two of them now," groaned Kimono. A bolt barely missed her head as she ducked instinctively.

"Leave them alone!"

The she-devil only grinned. A sadistic gleam glimmered in her eyes. This only meant trouble. A blink of an eye. That's all took for me to take a bolt to the chest as a jumped in front of Kimino. Not today bitch.

It hurt. God did it hurt. If it was possible to die again I was really wishing I would just die. It's like the life was being sucked out of me. I froze in the spot as my mind was sucked back into the night of my death.

I was changing in the bathroom into a Hello Kitty pink shirt and matching pants. My father still seemed to think it was five-years-old. I did my typically things. Brushing my unruly hair braiding it so it didn't get all tangled when I went to sleep. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Instead of leaving I stood there starring in the mirror. There was a girl standing behind me. She had an oval face with soft green eyes and huge smile as if she was welcoming home. The girl's face melted into the she-devil's face. She came out of the mirror and whispered into my ear. I couldn't make out what she was saying. My eyes suddenly went cold, as if I was dead. I popped open the medicine cabinet. I dumped a few different pills from different bottles into my head and put them into my mouth. I took a sip of water and zombie walked to the couch.

Wait. This thing killed me. Didn't it? It had possessed me or something. It wasn't hypothermia. I knew it. I overdosed. Actually I think I like the whole idea of hypothermia better now. My heart just stopped from a reaction to a combination of the drugs. Oh my god. This thing probably killed my mom the same way. I hated it for existing. I wanted it dead. Well, no longer exist.

"You are taking in lives today!"

Then everything was engulfed a pure white light. The living people couldn't see it. But she she-devil and I looked up. She shrieked in fear trying to run away from the rays. But she was caught and disintegrated into thin air. My family and friend could see that of course.

"What just happened?" asked Mamoru.

"I don't know," said Kimiko helping her father and Mamoru out from under the table.

"What are you starring at?" asked my father. His eyes went wide as he realized he see me now.

The dog came up and sniffed my leg before weaving between them. My eyes were fixed upwards. The light felt so warm. It was so bright. It felt like home.

"Light," I replied.

"Must be what happens after we die," shrugged Mamoru.

"Before I go. I want you guys to know there is no one to blame for my death other than myself. I wasn't strong enough to resist temptation. Neither was mother. That thing cause both of our deaths. It clung to people who were sensitive to spirits and energy. It wasn't hypothermia. I had a reaction to a medication or well medications. I remember it now. That thing could possess people. It doesn't matter now. I loved all of you. I was happy. I complained a lot, but I was still happy," I admitted. They deserved the truth.

"Dad don't lose who you are. Kimiko needs you, all those students need you. I'll always love you and I know we'll meet again. I'm sure whatever happens I'll mother again too. I'm not afraid. I've never been afraid. I did like you talking to me. It is very lonely when no one can see you. And I didn't eat the cookies. I can't pick them up let alone eat them. Oh yeah sorry about the mess I'm not too good at this whole being a ghost stuff," I said.

"Things are replaceable, people are not," said my father.

"If you want to make us happy live for the people you have not the ones you've lost," I said.

"I was the one eating the cookies. I couldn't stand smelling them. They were just going to rot," blurted Kimino.

I laughed giving her the biggest smile I could. If only they knew nearly all the cookies 'I ate' I really gave to her…I felt a slight ping in my chest. I wasn't going to be here for her next birthday, or help her study for high school entrance exam, or to chase away her first boyfriend or girlfriend, or be her bridesmaid when she finally finds an significate other that lives up to my expectations. It wasn't fair. Why did she have to lose both mother and I?

"Kimino don't rush growing up. You have plenty of time to worry about academics. Go have fun and try new things. Live is way too short to spent life buried in academics. There is something to learn from books, but there is way more lessons in life. Live for now not the future or the past. You have a whole lifetime to worry about the future and the past is over with. You can't change the past. But you can change the present and that will change the future," I said.

"I don't want you leave!" Kimino cried.

"I have to. I can't stay here. Don't get me wrong I love it here, but I think I'm needed somewhere else now. Don't worry about me. I'll see you again," I replied softly.

"What am I supposed to do?" she said holding back a flood of tears.

"Live. If you want to make me happy just live your life. That's what I've been telling you. Didn't you hear the whole speech I gave? Never mind, live for yourself not for me. Actually if you want to live for me live for yourself," I said "or swear when you die after a long, happy life I will kick your ass."

Kimino giggled wiping away tears. I know she'll be okay. She's strong. She still has a purpose to fulfill. I know that much. If she didn't, she would have died. I knew now. I was here on this Earth to touch people and give them the strength they would need for their lives and to be here to destroy that thing from killing more people. Though I don't think I did it directly.

"Mamoru, why is it you always wait too long? You stupid idoit. You should have just told me rather than terrorize my boyfriends. It doesn't matter now. Seriously stop moping around. That isn't going to bring me back. Go out there and continue your life. Go after what you want in live and don't waste time. When we meet again I want to hear all about what you have done. So you better do something with your life so I don't fall asleep," I said.

I had never seen love in the eyes of a guy, besides my father. There was always that deep slightly disturbing lust. But lust isn't love. That lost puppy look in his eyes. He had lost more than his best friend, but his first love. I felt bad for him really. But I knew he could find someone. He deserved someone better than I'd ever be. He was there to protect me when I stood up to the wrong crowd, or was freaking out over an exam, or bitching about other girls. He really was everything a girl needed. I was a fool for not seeing it. Whoever, caught him was hitting the motherlode. I smiled at hm.

"Stop selling yourself short. You have no idea how important you were to me or how much you did for me. You'll find someone someday. And they'll have no idea what they caught," said with a smile.

"I love you guys, but it's time for me to go. Kimiko take care of the puppy. He deserves some attention. He's really a sweet dog," I said leaning down petting the dog. He wigged his tail and tried to lick me "goodbye puppy. I'll sure miss you."

I looked up into the light. I could leave now. I wasn't afraid now. I had gotten the chance to say my goodbyes. I knew how I died and I wasn't ashamed. I screwed up. I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. I was not helping anyone, including myself, by staying here. I needed to move on so they could. I heard the puppy whining as the light engulfed me. I saw Kimiko pick it up as I floated up into the light.

They would be okay. And so would I. What happens now? What is waiting on the other side? Was reincarnation a thing? That would pretty cool. I closed my eyes feeling the warm light surrounding me.

Part Two

I squinted trying to make out where I was. I couldn't see much. Besides that it was dark. I could hear wind whistling outside. A tiny dust of snow blew in from under the door. Soft gentle whispers with a tinge of fear. I blinked a few times. Where was I? Who was talking? What happened?

After a few days I realized I had been reborn. I was now in the body of a tiny frail infant. Worst of all I had been born a boy. How do I even act like a boy? The first thing I learned if you want something cry, not just whimper scream your head off. It sure does get attention quickly. It sometimes took hours for someone to finally pick me up. I never saw a woman that could have been my mother.

I grew so fast. Time passed by so quickly when you are small. Especially when you're strapped to people's backs and taking out into fields. The air was crisp and full of life. I'd never felt air any more pure than this. I never cried out in the fields. I watched the birds, passing people and animals. It was a pleasant first couple of years. I learned that I lived in a mountainous village in Japan. At least I didn't have to figure out a new language.

Nothing was perfect though. I soon found out that my father hated me. I don't mean it like a whiny kid way. He really did hate me for existing. He blamed me for my mother's death. Which I suppose was sort of true. She did die giving birth to me, but it's not like I actively killed her. He didn't speak to me. He didn't even look at me. I was nothing to him. It actually hurt. Everyone else got attention. It wasn't fair. Life was never fair.

I was five-years-old. I was expected to take our produce up the mountainside to the market. We had a pull trolley we had to use to get up to the market. I had been traveling on my own since I was four. So I didn't mind it at all. I loved getting away actually. It was just another typical trip. Well, so I thought. I was pulling myself along when I heard a creaking sound. A low deep grinding sound. Then tiny little pings up ahead. I kept on pulling. Then suddenly the rope got very lose under my small fingers. The last thing I knew I was falling in a wooden cage of death.

That's how I died a second time. This time I didn't wonder around for months alone. A strange man appeared a few days later and hit me in the forehead with the hilt of his sword without a single word.

I woke up in a very dark place. Once again. Inside of a house it was forest. I couldn't see my own hands. I stumbled around trying to find a path, something. I walked and walked and walked. There was no end to the forest. I would have been better off staying in the forest. I walked right out into a middle of battlefront. Arrows of light shoot all around me. I ducked down crawling around the ground to get free. Then I was engulfed in flames. It came out of nowhere. I just couldn't catch a break.

I was born a boy again. People were everywhere. They were on top of each other. When I breathed in the city air made my lugs scream for air. It was so rough on an infant's body.

Every day a horrible stench filled the air. Bodies lined the streets. They were barely recognizable as human. They were rotting corpses more like skeleton with skin on them. Death was everywhere.

I was five-years-old when they died. I was alone. To survive I had to make up my guide of survival. I learned from trial and error. Rule One, don't drink water from a pump you aren't familiar. Rule Two, trust no one. Rule Three, food first law second. Rule Four, don't die. Rule Five, keep your head down. As long I fallow them I will survive.

For years those five rules kept me alive. I stole what I needed to stay alive. Nothing more and nothing less. I never accepted help as they were always expectations for return. At least in this city. By never looking at someone in the eye it kept me from noticing the looks of pity or disgust I'knew' they gave me when they walked by.

The one rule I had a hard time with was Rule Four. That should be the simplest right? It could have been. I should have made ten rules: rule six avoid dark alleys, rule seven avoid men in dark alleys, rule eight never let your guard down, rule nine trust your gut, and rule ten if something feels like bad idea don't do it.

It was quick death this time. But more painful. I did not die quickly. I slowly bled out in that alley. But that's isn't what killed me. I was giant hamster thing with a mask. It stepped on me and crushed me. In those last moment it all came rushing back. Three live times of memories all at once. I'm not sure why. Inside of hovering around where I died I was thrown back to Japan. It was the strangest thing. Then I was running from the damn hamster thing. I would have surely been eaten by it, but some guy with a sword saved me. He tried to hit me on the head with the hilt of his sword again. So I ran. And ran. And ran. Until I couldn't run anymore. It seemed to suck out whatever energy spirits have.

"Look kid I'm trying to help you," the guy said. Before I could ask questions or protest that stupid sword hit my forehead.

For what seems like years I've been floating around in nothingness. I could hear voices sometimes. Some excited, others nervous, a few calm and many that were worried. I guessed I was being reborn again. One thing I did notice is that sometimes the nothingness I was floating in would make me hurt. Like something was very wrong in here. It wasn't a comforting feeling. It felt as if the world around me was dying.

I spent so much time there in darkness. All I had was my thoughts. I keep analyzing my past lives and how I keep screwing up. This time it wouldn't happen. I decided I didn't want to lose all my memories this time. I carved into the center of my core a new me. A me that wasn't going to die as a kid again. I would survive this time. I wanted to live a full life. I wanted to fall in love, have my heart broken, finally love again, create a new life, make real friends that would last a lifetime, try strange foods, climb mountains and most of all be happy. I remember a few core elements of each part of my three recantations. Family and love from Kirina, independence and inner strength from my second recantation, will-power and intelligence from the last reincarnation. I couldn't remember the names from the last two reincarnations. Either I never heard it or they never had names. That was a sad thought.

Once again light began to pierce my warm, dark place. I was forced out of my home. It was never fun coming out. Once you came out it had been downhill for me the last two times. Please let be third time be the charm or is the fourth time be the charm including the first one.

My lungs filled with air. The air here was so rich. Full of energy. The air rushed out and in. But I didn't hear that unmistakable newborn cry. I looked around. Where was I? A woman scooped me up shaking my belly slightly so I would cry. I glowered at her. Damn, woman stop shaking me. A tiny spark went up above my head. I looked up. What was that?

"Why isn't she crying?" said an urgent young male voice.

"Doesn't feel like it I suppose. She's perfectly fine," smiled the woman as she wrapped me in a blue blanket. I whimpered a little bit. She didn't need to wrap me so tightly.

I found myself in the arms of a new person. A young man. Not too old. He had white hair. Maybe was old? He had calm, but sad smile. A yawned looking up. It was always so tiring.

"I'm very sorry about your mother," said the woman.

"There was nothing to be done. She asked for the baby's life to be saved over her own. It's a miracle the child even exists. It's not like either of my parents were in good health. For hundreds of years they tried to have that second daughter they wanted," he said.

"I'd just trying to find a wet nurse. She's very small and will need something more nutrient filled than just goat or cow milk. At least for a few months," said the woman.

"Thank you," he said.

The woman disappeared. I yawned again. I starred up at his face with tired eyes. So warm. I could fall asleep just like this.

"I guess it's just you and me little one. What should I call you?" he said "how about Kazu?"

I just peered up with slowly closing eyes. I just wanted to sleep. Any time would do. I guessed from my name I was a girl this time. Finally. I really hadn't had good luck as a boy.

"Ukitake, Kazu welcome to the Soul Society."

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. This chapter was a thrill to write. I know a banshee isn't a being in Japanese lore. Take it as a demon or a banshee, whatever you want to call it. Or as Kirina called it 'she-devil'. I decided after writing 'chapter two' that it was too short and I merged it so it was one chapter. There won't usually be chapters set ups this way. I hope you enjoyed this chapter I much as I enjoyed writing it.

*10/24 I fixed a few word choice errors in the last section and I forgot that there were eight children in that family so I reworded a sentence so it fit.