Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.

A conversation with Sanji

The first time I saw you was June 13th, 2003. I was nine. I wrote a journal entry about a new show I'd found. That show was One Piece I didn't know it then, but I'd found my best friend. You were so much more than an anime character to me. You showed me how a lady should be treated, possibly saving me from an abusive relationship later in life. You became my muse, inspiring me to start writing.

4Kids may have introduced me to you but, a few years later, I was able to see just how badass of a character you really were and my love and respect for you deepened. As I grew up, I went through some bad things. I started self-harming. I wasn't happy with my body. My best friend left me behind without any explanation.

One Piece became my lifeline. My escape. I could laugh alongside the crew for a few hours and not have to think about how alone I was. I found myself talking to you more and more as if you were right beside me. Call me crazy but, without that, I wouldn't have survived. When I attempted suicide, you were there in my head, telling me to stop before I took my life. With tears in my eyes, I cleaned up my cuts and cried in my room, shaking at the thought of what I had nearly done.

I lay in bed with a sweatshirt on top of me, pretending it was your jacket just so I could sleep whenever my anxiety made it hard to breathe. It comforted me, thinking you were there. You were the one that gave me the strength to fight the monster in my head.

I'm older now, twenty-four in a few months. I've been self-harm free for nearly a year. Anxiety and depression still plague me from time to time. I still watch and read One Piece. You still make me fangirl like crazy, even if that stupid mosshead gets more shirtless scenes than you do.

I find myself thinking more and more about the one thing I never thought I'd want, or even be mentally stable enough for: a boyfriend.

It had never bothered me much before. I'd always had friends and that had usually been enough. The one boyfriend I'd had in high school wasn't that great, more of a friend than anything. He had been nice, never a mean word said, but it hadn't felt right, not like a real relationship should. Or at least not what I'd imagined one to feel like.

He'd said I love you once in the entire three months we'd dated. It was after a panic attack. Not very romantic. But then again, I was the crazy girl. No one would ever love someone with a wrist full of scars and was a panicked mess all the time.

So, I was fine with diving head-first into my job as a writer and editor. I had blindly accepted the fact that I had you, and convinced myself that it was enough.

But anime and book characters can't replace a real relationship. I realize that now, after years of hiding my feelings under the guise of being career-driven and telling myself I was too damaged to love.

Allowing myself to feel that feeling of loneness and not try to cope with talking to you, I came to the conclusion I needed more. I needed a man I could cuddle with, instead of just pretend to.

Thank you for preparing me for the world. You are so much more than an anime character. You are my soulmate. I hope I can find someone as kind and caring as you in the real world.

I will always love you, my Mr. Prince. My Sanji-kun.

Author's note: It's nearly 1AM and I was feeling nostalgic. Love it or hate, I don't really care. It just felt good to get my feelings on paper, uncensored. It's my form of therapy.