The Worst Substitute Ever

Rated T for language and huge WTF-ness

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or Family Guy. "Ever After High" and it's characters are owned by Mattel and it's author Shannon Hale, and Family Guy and it's characters are owned by 20th Century Fox and it's creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, since I was inspired by a part on the "Family Guy" episode, 'Peter's Two Dads", I'd figured I'd do a little parody fic of it, starring both Daring Charming and Hopper Croakington II. So, here you go.

Daring Charming was resting on his bed on a very dreary Saturday afternoon.

The most popular student of Ever After High had a reputation of being a skilled knight and a lavish ladies man with the rest of the female student body. Who else wouldn't wanna be with him to begin with? I mean, he had the perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect face, perfect muscular body. No wonder Apple was so lucky to have her happily ever after. Daring was definitely destined to be her prince for sure!

Not to mention that he was also narcissistic and vain. There was never a mirror that Daring can look at himself into. Even one glimpse at a shiny object made Daring shine his smile on his reflection. As Daring found it enjoyable to look at himself...

...

...

...

...it was distracting his roommate, Hopper Croakington II

He couldn't even focus all by himself on his school work because Hopper kept telling Hopper how good he was looking at his reflection. In fact, the beam coming from his shining teeth even burned a hole in Dexter's forehead. From there, he had enough of his mirror-gazing.

So just to teach him a lesson, Hopper took away all of his mirrors that Daring kept. This drove Daring crazy all over his body. There's no way he was gonna be ugly without looking at his mirrors for the rest of the day. Hopper told his roommate that he was fine the way he is, and even challenged him to go a whole month without even looking at himself, which Daring accepted.

However, despite taking the challenge, Daring was still panicking for his life. He was begging for something shiny to look at (regardless if it was a little metal spoon). But knowing that Hopper removed everything that had a mirror in it, Daring felt hopeless.

That was until he dug into his drawer and pulled out what seemed to be a small glass pipe. And with that came one of Daring's lighters.

So as he was about to do the unthinkable, Hopper came in the room with some comic books in hand. Looking at Daring with such curiosity, Hopper spoke to him.

"Daring, what are you doing?" He replied.

"Crack." Daring responded.

"What the fuck?!" Hopper reacted in shock. "What the hex's wrong with you?!"

"Hey, at least I'm not looking at myself in the mirror, Hopper." Daring replied.

"Yeah, this isn't exactly a good substitute." Hopper replied back. "Where'd you get crack?"

"From blacks." The narcissist confessed.

"What?" Replied Hopper.

"Right behind Black's Spellware Emporium." Daring replied. "Sparrow Hood's selling it."

"Doing crack is not the way to stop looking at yourself in the mirror." Hopper sighed. "You need to get to the heart of why you feel the need to look at yourself in the first place."

Figuring out a perfect solution, Hopper managed to pull out a business card and give it to Daring."

"Look, here, this is the number of a hypnotherapist I want you to see," He suggested. "Maybe he can help you out a little."

"All right, Hopper." Daring nodded.

"Good." Hopper said as he left with one of the comic books in hand.

After the Frog Prince's son left, Daring decided to screw him and light one up anyway. What's the worse that can happen, anyway?

-An hour later-

Hopper had come back from the bathroom, just to see what Daring was up to.

"Hey Daring," Hopper replied. "Just thought I'd check on you-"

Suddenly, he was cut off when he saw a shirtless Daring cradling his own pillow in fear. Not to mention the bloodshot eyes, the messed up hair and one minor nosebleed had indicated that Daring had done the unthinkable. Hopper was now flipping mad for sure.

"Oh, what the hex?!" Hopper groaned. "You smoked crack, didn't ya?!"

Feeling messed up all over, Daring answered to him in torrential fear:

"GOV'MENT CAME AND TOOK MAH BAAAAAAAAABY!"

Well, that just goes to show you not to do crack everyone. Drugs are bad, okay? It'll get you nowhere in life. Neither did Daring.

Anyway, feedbacks are welcome, fellow fairy tales! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off!