What happens when your world falls apart? When the one you love gives up everything he has been fighting for? When your loved ones are dead or captured? When you have nothing left? You find yourself on the brink of insanity…
For Sean, Hunter and Molly.
Written October 1th 2011
"CONFRINGO!"
Tears fell as the ball of fire erupted from the tip of a ten inch, willow wand infused with the hair of a Thestral. The target: a photo of three best friends, which now lay broken and scorched on the hardwood floor. Only two faces remain left staring in utter fear as the spell continued burning the center of the photograph. The hazel blood shot eyes of Pansy Parkinson gazed down into the cracked glass that sat protecting the photo within its fame. The tall thin boy with dark skin who had been on the right, stared with a confused expression pasted on his face as he tried to see past the damage in search of other survivors. On the far left, Pansy saw a young girl, screaming with tears running down her red, swollen face as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Pansy snarled, sickened at the tears the portrait of herself shed. Leaving the embers to slowly destroy the photograph into grey ash; Pansy turned, taking to the grand staircase.
Pansy slumped her bruised body against a wall as she reached the second floor of the country side chateau in which she had lived with her parents. Her singed, tattered clothes were covered in her own fresh blood. The pain from burns and cuts on her skin finally started to throb as the adrenalin in her blood started to weaken. A sleeve brushed against her cheek violently wiping away any evidence of her tears. Lifting herself off the wall was almost too painful a task. Stumbling down the hall she instinctively clutched her right forearm tightly as scarlet blood left a tiny trail behind her. She looked back as she saw her blood on her mother's snow-white carpet. She thought about her mother and how she had taken so much pride in keeping it so clean. Photographs and paintings that lined the walls of the Parkinson home whispered among each other as they watched the young girl stumble throughout the hall. She ignored the looks as she continued to limp down the hallway, keeping the emotionless expression on her face. Pansy refused to look at the photos of her mother, father, and brother as she walked passed them, the pain and sorrow for what had happen in the past few hours was too much for her to bear right now. Keeping her eyes forward, she tried to stop tears from streaming down her cheeks as she came to the realization that she had been the only one to return.
She turned a cold, crystal door knob. The door swung open with a quiet creak. She stared into her bedroom for the first time in months; it had been completely untouched and left exactly how she had remembered it, complete with the light pink sweater resting on her writing desk near her balcony window. She lied down in her bed to ease her dizziness. Unable to fall asleep she thought about Blaise. The last thing she remembered was Blaise grabbing her hand. They had run as far as they could away from the school grounds till they had traveled far enough that apparition would be possible and they could retreat to their homes. Pansy's mind was blank except for one thought; Lord Voldemort was dead. She felt as if her life was over. When they had stopped running a group of people had surrounding her and Blaise. She didn't recognize most of who she was with except for a few other Slytherins. These were the brave and loyal Slytherins who had come to the aid of the Death Eaters. Who was everyone else? She wasn't sure if they had been Death Eaters or Snatchers, but she just knew she had to flee; they all had to flee.
"Go home and wait for your mother!" Blaise yelled to her. His voice seemed burn in the back of her mind as she vanished to a garden of lush roses, lilies, and purple pansies. This was her mother's garden, planted so many years ago. The story of her name sake came to mind as she gazed down at the pansies. A single tear fell from her cheek as she walked away, "goodbye, dear brother," she whispered before entering the chateau.
"Mum..." she whispered to herself as she recalled Blaise telling her to wait for her mother. No, Pansy's mother had died when she was only six years old. Pansy had always resented her real mother for dying so young and leaving her and her brother Alexon without her. "Selene," she scoffed to herself as she turned a corner. She knew that she would never see Selene again. Selene had been the woman she had called mother for all these years, yet she was her father, Julian's, second wife. Simply a woman he married to help take care of the two children that her real mother had left behind.
Pansy awoke from her daydream and sat up in her bed, a small pool of blood had stained the cream and pink quilt where her arm had been. Still feeling a bit dizzy, she crawled out of bed and scanned the room. Emerald pained nails on the end of long slender fingers ran across the walls. She examined the fancy, French wallpaper enjoying her mother's taste in decorating for the first time. She stopped at the antique mirror above her dresser and looked into her own eyes. They looked dead inside. As anger began to once again fester inside of her she scanned the room as if a predator hunting for prey. Nestled in a small silver frame, lay a portrait of her step-mother. Her father had insisted that she have the photo in her room once he and Selene married. He claimed it would help her feel more welcome to the family.
Selene and her father had married just over a year after her mother passed away. She had spoiled Pansy, desperate to make her step-daughter love her like an actual mother and yet Pansy never did. She would pretend that she did to please her father, and to make her own life easier, but the truth was she had never cared for the woman. The dislike for her turned to loathing as she knew all too well that her stepmother had fled to save herself. She had gone to the battle with her husband as so many of the other wives did. Once Julian's wounds became fatal it was only moments before Selene panicked and ran much like the Malfoy family had done. Selene, unlike Pansy's actual mother, had never been strong willed. Picking up the photograph of Selene, Pansy polished the corner of the silver frame for a moment before spitting on the glass.
"Stupid bitch," Pansy mumbled under her breath before tossing it into the air and shattering it with the Confringo curse. "You stupid fucking bitch!" She screamed out a moment later as the glass broke into pieces. Her frustration and anger finally caught up to her taking full effect.
"And you! How could you?" Her blood shot hazel eyes shifted to the photo that sat nestled next to her bed in a sterling silver frame embroidered with emerald snakes in the corners. Tears of rage streamed down her cheeks as she glared at the photo. The picture of Draco Malfoy that sat for three years on the night stand next to Pansy's bed just stared wide eyed up at her as she paced back and forth breathing heavily. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair and pushed it out of her eyes. She turned back the photograph,
"You…" she snarled. Her hand was squeezing her wand so hard it could snap at any second. "All of these years. All of these damn bloody years!" Her banshee like scream echoed in the room. She could already feel her throat become raw from screaming as she slammed her fists to the air at her sides.
"How could you do this to me, to your blood?" she shouted with rage. "I should have seen this in the tea leaves. No, I should have seen this coming when you couldn't bring yourself to kill Dumbledore! Why did Snape have to do it for you? I'll tell you why. Because you are a bloody coward! You and your whole damn family." She yelled at the photo of Draco getting no response. Snarling with anger at the thought of Draco she pointed her wand at the fireplace shouting 'Incendio' sending the dried wood a blaze without even taking her eyes off the photograph.
She stared at the photo as if it had actually been Draco himself. "I loved you. I did everything and anything you ever asked me too without question. I kept every damn promise I ever made to you and you just bloody ran. My brother is dead, my arm is maimed, and merlin knows what happened to my parents. You said you would protect me no matter what happened. You said we would always be together." Inside the photo, Draco was dumbstruck. He seemed to be begging Pansy, but she didn't buy it. Draco had failed her and their blood. His family had turned their backs on the Death Eaters. They fled like the cowards they truly are. In Pansy's eyes they were blood traitors, no better than the Weasley family.
"No," the corner of her right lip turned upwards, "I lied. I never loved you. It was all about the power. You were the alpha male in Slytherin. That is all you really were to me, but you lost your thrown. You are now powerless you pathetic little wanker." The smirk that had started to form was now in full effect as she tossed the photo into the fire. Pansy stood laughing, savoring the moment as the picture of her now ex-boyfriend cried and screamed in the burning flames.
Once again, strands of chestnut locks made their way into Pansy's vision and she pushed them back out of her eyes. She slid against the wall falling to the floor. Hugging her knees she finally embraced the tears. None of this was supposed to happen. Draco was supposed to stay and fight, the Dark Lord was supposed to win, her brother was supposed to still be alive, and her father was supposed to be home.
Nothing made sense anymore. How could Harry Potter; some stupid, geeky little prat, beat the greatest dark power since Morgan le Fay? How could any of this even be possible? Sobs seemed to stop as maddens took over. Anyone who had known Pansy well enough could have seen this happening. It had always been there waiting for the right moment. Bits of laughter began to spew out of Pansy's mouth as she shook her head in disbelief.
"Pansy?" an unknown voice called out. She didn't even notice that Blaise had apparated inside her room. "Pansy, where is your mother?" His voice sounded like a faint echo as if he had been down a long corridor back at Hogwarts. Her eyes met his, a crooked grin cemented to her face as small burst of giggles erupted like hick ups.
"She isn't coming back, Blaise. My brother and father are dead, Selene is gone, and Draco," tears now joined the burst of giggles, "he was supposed to protect me." She lifted her sleeve to her eyes to wipe away the tears.
"A Weasley did it. One of the twins I think," she bit her lip as she tried not to laugh while she gestured to her blood soaked sleeve, "and then he killed my brother right in front of me." Her head dropped a bit as a single tear fell though her laughter. "Draco said that he would never let anything happen to me, ever. He was supposed to protect me. He promised to fight for the honor of pureblood, for the Dark Lord. He ran, Blaise. His whole family ran like cowards. The Malfoy's… the Dark Lord's right hand Lucius... they all ran leaving the rest of us to fight and die."
She felt Blaise wrap his arm around her and she rested her head into the crook of his neck. "It's over now. All we can do is think about the future. It's alright, Pans. I will be here for you." His words, raspy from his own injuries, were still soothing. Inside her mind she was now forever lost. Nothing would ever be the same.