[JUNPEI enters his APARTMENT]
JUNPEI: open the door
get on the floor
ZERO: everybody walk the dinosaur
[ZERO knocks out JUNPEI with SLEEPING GAS]
JUNPEI: i hate godmodders
ZERO: shut up and solve this puzzle
[JUNPEI shuts up and solves that puzzle]
JUNPEI: okay cool
so whats the reason that im on a boat ft T PAIN
JUNE: oh what the flip is up JUMPY
JUNPEI: oh hey its my elementary school crush
ive always wanted to go with her on a MURDER HELL-BOAT trip
JUNE: did someone say PLOT DEVELOPMENT
ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS: yeah
JUNPEI: who the flip are any of you
SNAKE: im SNAKE and i know literally everything
CLOVER: im CLOVER and i hope you know how to get the good endings
SEVEN: i have not a fucking clue about anything my dude
LOTUS: hi im LOTUS and im hot
JUNPEI: wow is this a visual novel or fucking what
if you're reading this you know these fucking characters
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: yeah you know these characters
and so does JUNPEI now
ACE: whats dabalicious my fellow teens
EVERYONE: this man is not suspicious in the least bit
9TH MAN: you know i had to do it to em
CLOVER: wh
[9TH MAN makes CLOVER and LOTUS or WHOEVER maybe ACE scan the RED with their NUMBERED BRACELETS]
9TH MAN: i realized i just dropped a bunch of special terms on you without explain it at all so im just gonna die now
[9TH MAN is unable to activate the DEAD so he DIES]
ZERO: hey guys
uh i have a big monologue and SNAKE explains this shit too
but honestly YOU must know how this works already so im not
JUNPEI: ah fuck are we on the TITANIC
SEVEN: hah tit
SANTA: fuck of
ACE: haha brotendos no worries
im not suspicious
lets go into the numbered doors
JUNPEI: yeah which one of the doors should i go through
these ones are 4 and 5 right
JUNE: yeah sure
JUNPEI: okay im doing DOOR 5
EVERYONE: thats sounds good
[JUNE begins to CLIP THOUGH THE LEVEL]
JUNPEI: whoa sick speedrun strats
JUNE: IM FLIPPING DYING
JUNPEI: okay lemme just go through DOOR 5 real quick
SANTA: if you see an AXE or a SUB stay away from them
JUNPEI: whatever
[JUNPEI opens the 5 DOOR with SEVEN and SNAKE]
[also they activate the DEAD]
JUNPEI: here we are in the 1ST CLASS CABIN
i wish there was more LIGHT in here
SNAKE: test me you little clown
SEVEN: anyways puzzles
JUNPEI: theres a SAFE
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: its too early for an END so JUNPEI is just gonna leave this room
JUNPEI: im just gonna leave this room
[THEY leave]
SEVEN: hey its a CASINO
JUNPEI: dojo...casino...its all in the mind
SNAKE: looks like we already finished the CASINO
and now were here in the LARGE HOSPITAL ROOM
JUNPEI: what a perfect time to split up
ZERO: i agree
SEVEN: did you guys hear that
SNAKE AND JUNPEI: no
[THEY split up]
JUNPEI: okay time to not split up anymore
back to the HOSPITAL i go
ACE: oh whats swaggie JUNPEI my dude
JUNPEI: hey ACE my good non suspicious pal
wheres SNAKE
CLOVER: i dont know
but im ready to throw down
[THE GANG splits up to find SNAKE]
JUNE: SNAKE where are you
SNAKE:
JUNE: he didnt answer
JUNPEI: wow good point
[NO ONE find SNAKE]
SANTA: i honestly don't care
also our DIGITAL ROOTS dont add up so someone is going to stay behind
JUNE: that cant be
EVERYONE ELSE, LESS ENTHUSED: oh no...we cant...ah
ACE: its all good my fellas i have SOPORIL B(ONE HURTING JUICE) that im gonna drink
[ACE drinks BONE HURTING JUICE]
ACE: ah off ow me bones lads
[ACE passes out]
SANTA: finally
okay which doors we doing
JUNPEI: does it matter at this point
CLOVER: i will kill you if you say some stupid shit like that ever again
JUNPEI: okay DOOR 8
[JUNPEI LOTUS and CLOVER enter DOOR 8; SEVEN SANTA AND JUNE ENTER DOOR 7]
CLOVER: i dont wanna play this level
[CLOVER gets locked in the GAY BABY JAIL part of the LABORATORY]
LOTUS: ever notice how you cant spell LABORATORY without RAT
JUNPEI: why are you looking at me
CLOVER: sick burn but can you please get me out
JUNPEI: hold up im trying to get this computer to run ROBLOX
LOTUS: leave this to me
[LOTUS enter HACKING position]
LOTUS, TYPING: uifgduofhsofhsipadsighafsuhgipsgou983hgweghoushvnshw83QWHR[DJSDFGISkjfm;llkwioHVFOUAHFOHJOkhouhfkjmiprfhiWJUUJPIFGHPIFPGHLAJSFBGHLJDFHG
JUNPEI: whoa were'd you learned to do all this
LOTUS: CODE LYOKO
JUNPEI: oh okay
LOTUS: hey what if your mind was a like a computer monitor that got all its information for a separate processor not inside your own mind
JUNPEI: hey what if you made any sense at all
LOTUS: and things like AMNESIA and PROSOPAGNOSIA were results of your shitty brain wifi's connection to the actual consciousness
JUNPEI: what the fuck is PROSOPANGEA
LOTUS: everyone looks ugly
JUNPEI: oh okay
CLOVER: im free now too
JUNEPI: oh okay
CLOVER: hey by the way SNAKE lost his sight and his left arm in an accident as a kid
JUNPEI: hey thats fucked i didnt need to know
CLOVER: thanks
JUNPEI: hey by the way is that a MANNEQUIN
CLOVER: yeah
JUNPEI: his name is SCIENCE BOY NOW
[CLOVER kills SCIENCE BOY]
SCIENCE BOY: JUNPEI...live...for me...
JUNPEI: this is going to be on WATCHMOJO isnt it
[oh yeah THEY FOUND the WAY OUT]
SANTA: here we are back in the LARGE HOSPITAL ROOM
oh by the way were here too now
ACE: thanks for telling me the dealio my damn daniels
JUNPEI: no problem my clearly not suspicious friend
CLOVER: shut the fuck up and open DOOR 3
[THEY shut the fuck up and open DOOR 3]
LOTUS: okay me and SANTA are going to go into the EARTH DOOR
JUNPEI: okay me and JUNE will use the SATURN KEYCARD on the ELEVATOR
JUNE: wait, an ELEVATOR uh hhold on there
JUNPEI: [JUNE was probably afraid of...
getting FUCKING BUCK WILD with a BOY in an ELEVATOR
the ELEVATOR going down]
JUNE: what if i got WET
JUNPEI: what happens in an ELEVATOR...
JUNE: what if you got WET
JUNPEI: i hope i do you think i get WET any other time
JUNE: wowzers JUMPY i wish i was cool like you
JUNPEI: lord forgive me but i gotta do what i yabadaba do...
JUNE: what if i dont make it long and i go to HEAVEN
JUNPEI: what
JUNE: and what if some gets inside you
JUNPEI: What
JUNE: everyone ends up swallowing some at some point
JUNPEI: WHAT
JUNE: yeah i mean you can only hold your breath for so long before the water drowns you
JUNPEI:
JUNE:
JUNPEI:
JUNE:
JUNPEI: YOU MEAN WE WERENT JUST GOING TO HAVE VIRTUAL NOVEL SEX IN THIS ELEVATOR
JUNE: i dont know what any of those words mean
JUNPEI: anyways we wont drown
no water came out of the elevtor when it came up from E DECK
JUNE: okay lets go to E DECK
[THEY go to E DECK]
JUNPEI: hey its DOOR 6
JUNE: cool
[THEY go BACK to C DECK]
SANTA: hey IDIOTS
we found DOOR 1
SEVEN: and now were here
ACE: and bad news BROTENDO DS
SNAKE is dead
and i dont know anything about it at all
JUNPEI: of course not
why would you, ACE, know anything about that
ACE: anyways go check it out
JUNPEI: okay
ew SNAKE'S ARM is all open and shit
gross
SANTA: okay DOOR time
JUNPEI: im going to cheat to go through the door i want to
EVERYONE: okay
JUNPEI: DOOR 6
[ACE SANTA JUNE and JUNPEI go thorugh DOOR 6 and CLOVER SEVEN and LOTUS go through DOOR 1]
JUNPEI: here we are in the STEAM ENGINE
[JUNE suddenly becomes QPU MISALIGNED and must waste an A PRESS]
JUNPEI: NO JUNE
THE SCUTTLEBUGS WERENT HIGH ENOUGH
JUNE: junpei im dying
please
SANTA: hey you guys remember DONKEY KONG
ACE: haha yeah i love vrideo glames
JUNE: im literally dying
SANTA: yeah but if clover was here i could look at her ass
JUNPEI: i dont know what any of those words mean
ACE: pretty messed up we have to solve all the puzzles huh
JUNPEI: its like we're lab rats
SANTA: you know JUNPEI, speaking of rats
JUNPEI: why does everyone keep calling me a rat
SANTA: shut the fuck up
anyways you ever hear of the rats that could solve an experiment fast when another rat found the solution before them
JUNPEI: what are you talking about
SANTA: its like they knew
JUNPEI: what
SANTA: FROM EMERGENCY EMERGES INSPIRATION
JUNE: wow thats so cool SANTA
did you know im still dying over here
SANTA: funny you mention dying
because i had a sister
who died
hey by the way did you know that there were two SANTAS on the MOON and one killed the other with a rock
is that fucked up or what
JUNPEI: yeah i guess but isnt this conversation only for the KNIVE END
this is the SAFE END
SANTA: oh yeah
anyways i was my sister's SANTA
but one year she said she just wanted to be happy with her SANTA
and she died NINE years ago
JUNE:
JUNPEI:
JUNE:
JUNPEI:
SANTA: okay CARGO ROOM time
JUNPEI: hey look at these CARD KEYS
ACE: i refuse
i wont
you cant make me
SANTA: thats fine
you arent suspicious
[JUNE slips and falls on a banana peel]
JUNPEI: okay hold on
ACE solve the face puzzle for me real quick
ACE: uh
JUNPEI: cool
SANTA: hey JUNE i bet ACE could get you to a hospital
hes the CEO of CRADLE PHARMACEUTICALS
JUNPEI: cool
hey ACE did you finish that super easy puzzle yet
ACE: uh
about that
i uh...smoked too much before i got here and i cant see rn
brb
JUNE: what a non suspicious guy
JUNPEI: i bet he has PROSOPAGNOSIA
anyways time to use the PUSHMASTER 900 to look at this COFFIN
SANTA: what if there is a mummy inside
JUNE: oh like ALICE ?
SANTA: no we havent done that route yet
JUNPEI: no worries guys its just a fucking gun
SANTA: lets leave it here
no way any of us would take it right
ACE: i dont know what a gun is
SANTA: that sounds right
[oh yeah THEY FOUND THE WAY OUT]
ACE: hey lets see what else is on E DECK
JUNPEI: hmmm
looks like a COFFIN
oh
and two 9 DOORS
cool
SANTA: haha nice
hey JUNPEI lets leave now with ACE and leave JUNE to die
whaddya say
JUNPEI: i'd rather die
SANTA: fuck you too
[they return to C DECK]
COFFIN: cough
SEVEN: hey CLOVER is gone
LOTUS: she locked herself in the CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS and the ran off
ACE: i have a perfect idea
how about...
we all go look for her
execpt I do all the looking
and you guys just hang out and have a groovy time
JUNPEI: okay me and KANNY are gonna go flirt
actually nah were gonna go look at SNAKE'S DEAD BODY
JUNE: i dont think i want to do this
JUNPEI: but look at his BONE
the one the he shouldn;t have
WAIT FUCK
i gotta tell CLOVER
SEVEN: too late bud
shes fuckin dead
JUNPEI: ahhh darn
SEVEN: yeah shes in the 1ST CLASS CABIN
come check it out with me
JUNE: this stinks
JUNPEI: hey by the way why did you come here
and why did you open all the doors
SEVEN: because of the SAFE
JUNPEI: oh
anyways im gonna go look at THE 9TH MAN'S BODY
THE 9 BRACELET: im gone!
JUNPEI: its gone!
SEVEN: hey come look at this note CLOVER had
JUNPEI: it says
THE NOTE: hey bro you wanna go get some za from the SINISTER HAND later -mikey
JUNPEI: well i am hungry...
oh yeah and its a code
14383421
SEVEN: what
JUNPEI: lets open the SAFE
[they open the SAFE]
JUNPEI: theres a note
SEVEN: its says
FACT ONE: the NONARY GAME happened once, originally on the DS
FACT TWO: SNAKE was in it
FACT THREE: CRADLE PHARMACEUTICAL is mean
JUNPEI: i know everything now
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: oooooh its about to go down
JUNPEI: hey ACE
ACE: yes JUNPEI from ZERO ESCAPE
JUNPEI: spell im actually SANTA
ACE: Boly Fuck
JUNPEI: sorry buddy
you have PROSOPAGNOSIA
ACE: yeah and
JUNPEI: it means you killed SNAKE
ACE: exsqueeze me
JUNPEI: well its not SNAKE
just some guy who was wearing his clothes
it was LIQUID SNAKE
SANTA: how dare you kill LIQUID SNAKE
SEVEN: shut the fuck up
ACE: why would i do that
JUNPEI: because of your past
SANTA: what
JUNPEI: he didnt get any za with mikey
also he did the first NONARY GAME
ACE: i cant open DOOR 3 with just LIQUID SNAKE hough
JUNPEI: yeah but you have the 9TH MAN'S BRACELET
ACE: yes i do so what
JUNPEI:
ACE: whoops
1+2+9=12=1+2=3
JUNPEI: so you did do it
ACE: yeah duh
i was suspicious the whole time
EVERYONE: not at all
JUNPEI: so what about CLOVER
ACE: yeah that was my bad
JUNE: ahhhhhhhhhhhhh dang nabbit
JUNPEI: why
ACE: shes SNAKE'S SISTER
JUNPEI: oh okay
ACE: wow ZERO got me good huh
anyways lets get going
SANTA: what
ACE: yeah lets move on
SANTA: okay
wait fuck no
nice try
[LOTUS punches ACE]
ACE: okay
[ACE puts the GOLDEN REVOLVER to LOTUS'S HEAD]
ACE: oh i killed the 9TH MAN too
JUNPEI: but why
ACE: to see if this was a prank or not
anyways lets go open the 9 DOOR
[he leaves with LOTUS]
JUNE: welp
[JUNE collapses yet again]
SANTA: oh no
JUNPEI: JUNE NO
JUNE: shut up and save LOTUS idiot
SEVEN: yeah lets go
[SEVEN AND JUNPEI go down to the CHAPEL]
SEVEN:we cant open the 9 DOOR
COFFIN: h
JUNPEI: oh what the heck
lets open it
SEVEN: theres a pinreader
use the SAFE code
JUNPEI: ew no
SEVEN: the only necessity for success is the willingness to suffer 1000 faiures
JUNPEI: i bet an idiot said that
[JUNPEI enters 14383421 into the COFFIN]
SNAKE: 5 more minutes mom
JUNPEI AND SEVEN: o Fuck
JUNEPI: i thought you were dead
SNAKE: old sports die hard
JUNPEI: west ACE is about to be scrambled
SEVEN: hey SNAKE whats up with you and the first NONARY GAME
SNAKE: i dont know a thing my good friend
SEVEN: oh
well i have the ZERO BRACELET
JUNPEI and SNAKE: what the fuck
SEVEN: yeah
the totally alive CLOVER gave it to me
SNAKE: sure
SEVEN: anywas by JUNPEI
me and SNAKE are going through the 9 DOOR with this
[the RED doesnt authenticate]
SNAKE: its not a ZERO BRACELET
its SIX
JUNPEI: but thats JUNE's number
SNAKE: be quiet
[SNAKE takes his arm off and THEY go through the 9 DOOR]
JUNPEI: its an INCINERATOR
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: i dont want to be here
JUNPEI: why is there another 9 DOOR
ACE: oh hey dudes
INCINERATOR: ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN
SNAKE: uh oh!
ACE: who are you
SNAKE: its me SNAKE
ACE: oh hey
did you use CLOVER'S BRACELET to get here
SNAKE: wait what
how would we use the totally alive CLOVER'S BRACELET
ACE: whoops
did you think she was alive
shes not
i killed her
SNAKE: HOL UP
ACE: yeah
killed her pretty good
shes dead
SNAKE: Die.
[ACE shoots SNAKE]
ACE: okay now all of you die
SNAKE: im strong against GUN
ACE: what the fuck
SNAKE: im going to kill you
[ACE shots SNAKE 5 more times]
ACE: okay now that th-
[SNAKE grabs ACE's leg from his place on the ground]
ACE: ahhh you are like a snake, SNAKE
SNAKE: if im going to die im taking you with me
ACE: oh okay
wait what no
SEVEN AND LOTUS: yeah actually dont do a death
SNAKE: leave (get out)
JUNPEI: fuck no
SEVEN: fuck yes actually
[SEVEN pulls JUNPEI out of the INCINERATOR. ACE and SNAKE die]
JUNPEI: im fucking out
im going to find KANNY
[JUNPEI finds KANNY dying in the ALTAR]
KANNY: JUMPY i think im dying
JUMPY: enough with this shit please man i cant take this
KANNY: you were really important to me when we were kids
JUMPY:
what about now though
ZERO: game over
JUNPEI: what the fuck does that mean
who are you
where are you
ZERO: im right here JUNPEI
anyways the game is over
JUNPEI: NU UH
ZERO: yuh huh. you picked the wrong DOORS idiot
JUNPEI: i refuse to lose
ZERO: actually i lost
JUNPEI: hold up KANNY ill be right back
[KANNY disappears]
JUNPEI: KANNY NO
[SAFE END]
[RECORD SCRATCH]
[FREEZE FRAME]
JUNPEI: yup, thats me
youre probably wondering how i ended up in this situation
well, i technically did and didnt
heres what REALLY happened
[JUMP BACK TO THE 4 AND 5 DOORS]
ACE: haha no worries brotendoes
im not suspicious
lets go into the numbered doors
JUNPEI: yeah which one of the doors should i go through
these ones are 4 and 5 right
AKANE: yeah sure
JUNPEI: okay im doing DOOR 4
EVERYONE: thats sounds good
[AKANE remembers to turn NOCLIP off]
AKANE: i feel great right now
[SANTA AKANE JUNPEI AND LOTUS go through the RED and end up in the 2ND CLASS CABIN]
JUNPEI: its good your not sick
AKANE: were you worried
JUNPEI: what
AKANE: ive dated 18 men
JUNPEI: What
AKANE: multiply that by 0
ZERO: did someone call for me?
JUNPEI and AKANE: nope
JUNPEI: hey look at this blankey
AKANE: how many times are you going to look at it
JUNPEI: i got this covered though
hey wanna sleep together
AKANE: no
but we can shower together
SANTA, FROM ACROSS THE HALL: shut the fuck up JUNPEI
AKANE: lets talk about the TITANIC
JUNPEI: i think it sunk because the earth is flat
AKANE: i think it sank become of a mummy curse
JUNPEI: What
AKANE: yeah
AMON-RA
she had voodoo magic
JUNPEI: No.
AKANE: yeah she did
i heard she was hot too
JUNPEI: here we go
AKANE: yeah like she was frozen
and no matter what she never melted
JUNPEI: hmm...ICE...
im going to go see how LOTUS and SANTA are doing
SANTA: wait what the fuck is a shower
LOTUS: im going to steal this sofa
JUNPEI: who are you people
LOTUS: i will kick you ass
JUNPEI: fine by me this mirror refuses to talk to me
SANTA: we are all fucked
LOTUS: hey JUNPEI do you want this CANDLESTICK
JUNPEI: yeah brb
[JUNPEI goes back to the OTHER ROOM]
JUNPEI: hey want me to light your heart on fire
JUNE:
JUNPEI:
JUNE:
[JUNPEI leaves]
SANTA: BIG NEWS JUNPEI
WE GOT CUPBOARDS IN HERE
LOTUS: AND WE GOT A PILE O PILLOWS
JUNPEI: remember when we were moving the plot along
SANTA and LOTUS: no
SANTA: anways JUNPEI take this BOOKMARK of a clover
JUNPEI: why
SANTA: did you know? the clovers mean
i HOPE you shut the fuck up
i have FAITH you will fuckin die
i would LOVE for you to be out of my life
LUCK would have it you suck
JUNPEI: that doesnt sound right
SANTA: just take it
JUNPEI: okay
oh by the way look at this cool painting
LOTUS: cool
hey you know SHELDRAKE
JUNPEI: no
LOTUS: MORPHOGENETIC FEILD THEORY
SANTA: Nope!
JUNPEI: anyways the painting looks like a FUNYARINPA
LOTUS: what the fuck is that
JUNPEI: you fool
YOU AWAKENED ITS WRATH
FUNYARINPA: YOU WHO HAS COMMITTED THE MOST VILE OF SINS AGAINST ME SHALL PREPARE TO FACE SUPREME JUDGEMENT
JUNPEI: OH DEAR GOD NO
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: its too bad i cant this here so this joke could pay off but hey, sometimes life is simply unfair
LOTUS: anyways maybe there is information available to all people in a field invisible to the human eye
JUNPEI:
SANTA:
JUNPEI:
SANTA:
LOTUS: jk lmaonade
SANTA: i fucking love pseudoscience
JUNPEI: thats wild also i really need to move the plot along so lets finish up
[THEY found the WAY OUT]
JUNPEI: okay now were in the KITCHEN
SANTA: yes i do the cooking
JUNPEI: yes i do the cleaning
[JUNPEI and SANTA hi-five]
LOTUS: hey JUNPEI
im gonna start calling you JUNEKISSER9000
JUNPEI: im locking myself in the FREEZER
[SANTA AKANE AND JUNPEI get locked in the FREEZER. LOTUS remains in the KITCHEN]
SANTA: its ice to see you guys here with me
and id love to melt the tension between us
but im about to freeze my fuck off
JUNPEI: how do you freeze a fuck off
AKANE: hey mabye we should get out of here
JUNPEI and SANTA: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
LOTUS: would you two shut the fuck up in there and get out
JUNPEI: ugh fine
AKANE: did youf know carbon dioxcide sublwimes at -109 degrfees
JUNPEI: is your mouf numb
SANTA: im not having this third wheel shit
i need to know why it doesnt turn into a liquid
AKANE: because ICE 9
JUNPEI: isnt that made up
AKANE: no
JUNPEI: oh
AKANE: also that one time all the GLYCERIN in the world talk to each other and all crystallized
SANTA: what if water freezed at 96 degrees
JUNPEI: idk dude you think i fucking know what water is
anyways we're back in the KITCHEN
AKANE: oh JUNPEI
you are so FUTILE
JUNPEI: wh
AKANE: AUTOMATIC WRITING
JUNPEI: ghost writing...
AKANE: there was a dude who saw himself die and wrote about it 20 years before it happened
JUNPEI: hah! like some sort of CONCIOUSNESS SHIFT?
like that would ever happen!
hahahaha
[JUNPEI solves the FUCKING AWFUL HEXADECIMAL PUZZLE and THEY found THE WAY OUT]
AKANE: hey its a LARGE HOSPITAL ROOM
SEVEN: hey we are probably on the GIGANTIC
also i have AMNESIA
JUNPEI: okay whatever
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: you already saw all of this in my last hit album, the SAFE ENDING
so lets just skip to the part where we pick the doors
[ACE does his damn SOPORIL thing and they pick DOORS]
JUNPEI: DOOR 7
SANTA: okay have fun never seeing JUNE
JUNPEI: wait wh
[SEVEN and CLOVER drag JUNPEI into DOOR 7. SANTA AKANE AND LOTUS enter DOOR 8]
CLOVER: i dont want to play this level either
SEVEN: hey what the fuck
CLOVER: shut up you dont have any balls
SEVEN: what the fuck
CLOVER: i said you dont have any balls
SEVEN: face me in the ring
JUNPEI: anyways here we are in the OPERATING ROOM
CLOVER: they have medical mannequins
SEVEN: are you sure they arent sex dolls
JUNPEI:
CLOVER:
i hope you drink some dihydrogen monoxide and die
SEVEN: well maybe ill drink some of this EDT because
i just remembered the one time it became a hydrate
JUNPEI: yeah like with ICE 9
SEVEN: oh yeah
ALICE is on this boat
JUNPEI: oh like AMON RA
SEVEN: yeah the girl whos cold as ice but as hot as the sun
and she sleeps in the small FORREST OF KNOWLEDGE beneath the NAVAL OF THE GIGANTIC
JUNPEI: okay
CLOVER: hurry the fuck up you weirdos cmon
JUNEPI: Okay
CLOVER: i think SNAKE is dead
and im next
JUNPEI: oh cool
wwait what
CLOVER: someone is going to kill me
JUNPEI: here have this BOOKMARK
it has a clover on it
hope faith love and luck and shit dude
CLOVER: oh thanks dude i keep losing my pages everytime i read
JUNPEI: i got your back
CLOVER: hey so what do you think of when you hear the word EXPERIMENT
JUNPEI: i kissed a girl by KATY PERRY
CLOVER: oh so you dont know about the EXPERIMENT that happened here 9 YEARS AGO
JUNPEI: wha
CLOVER: yeah some physic field thing
JUNPEI: oh i heard about that its-
CLOVER: LOCKES SOCKS BECOME NEW SOCKS BUT ARE THEY STILL LOCKES SOCKS?
JUNPEI: uh
CLOVER: IS THIS MANNEQUIN REALLY THE MANNEQUIN
SEVEN: you two shut the fuck up and find they way out
[THEY FOUND THEY WAY OUT]
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: okay gang time to skip right to the DOORS AGAIN
JUNPEI: DOOR 1 is the DOOR for me
SANTA: are you cheating to get in there
JUNPEI: yes
SANTA: oh okay
[ACE CLOVER AND JUNPEI go through DOOR 1. THE OTHERS go through DOOR 6]
JUNPEI: here we are in the CHART ROOM
ACE: okay gang
let work togeth-
JUNPEI: go in the wheelhouse ACE
ACE: oh
ok
JUNPEI: hey its a COMPASS
ACE: and what direction will DESTINY take us
JUNPEI: towards good grades and gorgeous girls i hope
ACE: haha yes
that reminds of a time from my pa-
JUNPEI: get the fuck out so i can learn about the FIRST NONARY GAME
ACE: fine
im gonna go NOT KILL a man in the CAPTAINS QUARTERS
JUNPEI: okay cool
CLOVER: i think SEVEN and SANTA killed my brother
they couldve opened the 3 DOOR
JUNPEI: nope didnt happen
CLOVER: okay well if 4 or more people did it
then ACE SANTA SEVEN AND LOTUS killed him
JUNPEI: nope didnt happen
anyways lets enter he CAPTAINS QUARTERS
[ACE CLOVER and JUNPEI discover A DEAD MAN]
ACE: oh no! how horrible! a dead man!
who would have done such a thing!
JUNPEI: certainly not you ACE
CLOVER: and hes wearing the ZERO BRACELET too
JUNPEI: wow
CLOVER: its not ZERO though
JUNPEI: yeah no duh
the real ZERO is mocking us
they are being so CHILDISH
CLOVER: damn
JUNPEI: at least this guy didnt die in a shit way like SNAKE did
he was all fucked up
his LEFT ARM was so ugly
CLOVER: wait what the fuck
JUNPEI: oh sorry lol
CLOVER: my brother is still alive
that body is the body of LIQUID SNAKE
JUNPEI: oh fuck
nice
CLOVER: oh yeah
and thanks for the BOOKMARK
and the CLOVER WORDS
Thank You Based JUNPEI
JUNPEI: well SANTA taught me those words
CLOVER: aw damn really
JUNPEI: yeah
CLOVER: then he was in the FIRST NONARY GAME
we did MORPHOGENETIC FIELD shit
JUNPEI: oh
CLOVER: you need EPIPHANY and DANGER to access it good
so they tried to kill us
actually they did kill someone
JUNPEI: ruh roh rhaggy
CLOVER: her name was A-
ACE: did someone say
"BOY it sure would be WEIRD if ACE to enter this room RIGHT NOW"
becuase here i am
JUNPEI: BE GONE THOT
ACE: no
JUNPEI i need help with PUZZLES
JUNPEI: nah im gonna look at HIEROGLYPHS and talk about ALICE (NOT FROM VLR)
ACE: oh
well have you heard of CELL ALIVE SYSTEM (FROM VLR)
JUNPEI: yeah
i was in that game too
ACE: oh okay
CLOVER: hey i took a note about a SINISTER HAND
JUNPEI: cool
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: hey gang, NARRATOR here again
due to a mixture of laziness and the fact we already know the DOOR 6 CREW find the 9 DOORS were just gonna skip right there
cool? cool.
JUNPEI: wow there are two 9 DOORS
LOTUS: and theyre both real probably
CLOVER: but we cant all go through a 9 DOOR
because the remaining DIGITAL ROOT of the group left behind would be 7
SEVEN: okay ill stay behind
LOTUS: no fucking chance bozo
ACE: ^
CLOVER: ^
JUNPEI: ^
AKANE: ^
JUNPEI: there we all agree
proposal denied
SANTA: hold the phone here
i didnt vote yet
JUNPEI: exsqueeze me
SANTA: here are my orders
JUNPEI: what
[SANTA holds AKANE hostage with the GOLDEN REVOLVER]
JUNPEI: What!
SANTA: ACE and LOTUS are coming with me
JUNPEI: i thought we were Boys
SANTA: sorry homeboy
PLOT
JUNPEI: damn its like that huh
CLOVER: but you knew about the first NONARY GAME
SANTA: sorry what i dont have ears
[SANTA fires a bullet into the ground]
JUNPEI: okay ACE, LOTUS just go
we got this
right SEVEN
SEVEN: probably not
JUNPEI: cool thanks for backing me up
what about you CLOVER
CLOVER: eh sure
AKANE: what the heck you guys! aw jeez
SANTA: thanks i guess
[THEY leave CLOVER JUNPEI and SEVEN in the ALTAR]
CLOVER: hey it that COFFIN making noise
you boys open that for me
JUNPEI: yes queen!
SEVEN: ah but it has a code
JUNPEI: hmmmmmmm but how to open it
if only there was a hint for the code...
ZERO: need some help JUNPEI
JUNPEI: yeah can i get a uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh ending
ZERO: ending machine broke
[COFFIN END]
[I MEAN TO BE CONTINUED]
[LIKE RIGHT NOW]
JUNPEI: good thing i played the SAFE END
i mean CLOVER still has the SINISTER HAND note with her but
i would have NO WAY to figure out the SAFE CLUE
[JUNPEI opens the COFFIN]
SNAKE: o snap
CLOVER: FINALLY
SNAKE: oh hey CLOVER whats up
CLOVER: we thought you were dead there for a bit
SEVEN: and heres what you missed
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: im not actually going to write that all here
the game doesnt bother so why should i
SNAKE: ah
LIQUID SNAKE was killed before he could start and INSURRECTION
JUNPEI: ZERO is at the center of all this
SNAKE: MAJOR ZERO?
JUNPEI: no no
this isnt the VIRTUOUS MISSION
but we can call the dead captain MAJOR ZERO
SNAKE: anyhow lets go through the other 9 DOOR
JUNPEI: okay but lets try it with the ZERO BRACELET
give it here CLOVER
CLOVER: uh oh busted
JUNPEI: if MAJOR ZERO is ZERO then the ZERO BRACELET should open this 9 DOOR
[THEY do the DIGITAL ROOT test again]
JUNPEI: its the number 6
or the letter O
SNAKE: so JUNEs number is 9
CLOVER: then someone else's number isnt right either
SEVEN: SANTA and JUNE always go through the same DOOR
JUNPEI: weird that that happens with SANTA and AKANE huh
SNAKE: none of us know thats AKANE yet shut up JUNPEI
JUNPEI: oh ok
SNAKE: SANTAs real number was ZERO
JUNPEI: what about the 9TH MAN
SNAKE CLOVER AND SEVEN: fuck the 9TH MAN
JUNPEI: okay well lets go in the LIBRARY
[THEY do]
SNAKE: i can hear the voice hidden in the darkness
JUNPEI: okay KINGDOM HEARTS
SEVEN: there are way too many book in here
what the fuck does teletemporation mean
SNAKE: Time Travel
JUNPEI: how do you fucking know that
SANKE: and heres a book that is sourced in the NECRONOMICON
JUNPEI: How Do You Fucking Know That
SEVEN: oh cool a pop up book
JUNPEI: now were talking
hey by the way SNAKE arent you worried walking on this catwalk
SNAKE: im not a coward like you
JUNPEI: oh okay cool man really glad i saved your fucking live
SNAKE: i bet you are
JUNPEI: anyways look at this book series called DADKIND
SNAKE: i think thats a german mathmatician
JUNEPI: How Did You Know That
Also thought it would be cooler than that with a name like DADKIND
SANKE: math is cool
JUNPEI:
anyways SHELDRAKE
ive heard of that
CLOVER: i dont care
JUNPEI: oh
but SHELDRAKE-5
its the answer to this puzzle
SNAKE: you know about him?
JUNPEI: tell me about the first NONARY GAME
SNAKE: you knew?
JUNPEI: yeah
why didnt you tell us sooner
SNAKE: ZERO said not to
JUNPEI: oh okay
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: yeah i skipped over the note from the beginning of the game so what
it was just exposition at the time
back to this
SNAKE: anyways i trust you
also SANTA is ZERO
but he would never kill us
JUNPEI: why
SNAKE: he was in my group for the experiment 9 YEARS AGO
JUNPEI: wow
SNAKE: it was run by CRADLE PHARMACEUTICALS
the 4 horsemen were GENTAROU HONGOU and THE OTHER DUDES NO ONE CARES ABOUT
they planned the whole thing
JUNPEI: wowza i think i know those dudes
SNAKE: moving on
they wanted to control the human mind via MORPHOGENETIC FIELDS
JUNPEi: oh my
SNAKE: also RESONANT EVENTS
the more people who do something the more likely you are to do it
they tested for TRANSMITTERS and RECIEVERS
JUNPEI: wow its getting really hard to make jokes about this
SNAKE: trust me i know ive been through this shit
anyways GENTAROU used the GANZFELD experiment to kidnap 9 pairs of twins
me and CLOVER were one of them
JUNPEI: i need a line here so its not just 7 straight SNAKE lines
SNAKE: i agree
anyways one group of 9 was on the GIGANTIC
and the other was in BUILDING Q in NEVADA
SEVEN: you two shut the fuck up and finish this room
JUNPEI: wait i thought there were only 16 kids
SNAKE: no there were 18
the media wouldnt count the siblings AOI and AKANE
JUNPEI: hold the fucking phone
AKANE
SNAKE: yeah
the girl who died
JUNPEI: ooof ow that literally hurt me
what the hell
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: i dont like this one bit either
JUNPEI: okay well as long as it isnt AKANE KURASHIKI then thats ok
SNAKE: well actually
JUNPEI: la la la la not listening time to go into the STUDY
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: this room is literally just a PUZZLES: THE GREATEST HITS room
so im skipping pretty much everthing in here
JUNPEI: i just solved a puzzle
CLOVER: good boy!
JUNPEI: woof
SEVEN: im not here for this furry shit
SEVEN: look at this PIPE...
CLOVER: look at this PIPE...
SNAKE: i cant look at this PIPE...
JUNPEI:
SEVEN: GIMME A P
CLOVER: GIMME AN I
SNAKE: GIVE ME A P AND ALSO AN E
JUNPEI: WHATS THAT SPELL?
SNAKE: it spells PIPE, JUNPEI
JUNPEI: okay thank you
SEVEN: oh Fuck its another coffin
JUNPEI: its gotta be ALICE
SEVEN: but its empty
JUNPEI: close call
anyways ive been messing around with this thing for a while and i cant get it to work
SEVEN: what the fuck JUNPEI
you need to RESPECT WOMEN you cant just mess around
CLOVER: i thought you were better than that
JUNPEI: i have depression
[JUNPEI solves the COMPUTER PUZZLE]
JUNPEI: hey its a picture of MAJOR ZERO THE 9TH MAN and ACE
SNAKE: they ran the NONARY PROJECT
JUNPEI: i feel like i knew that
SNAKE:and HONGOU is ACE
JUNPEI: i feel like i also knew that
SEVEN: hey boys
just remembered everything
JUNPEI: really?
SEVEN: im a cop
i busted the NONARY CASE wide open
JUNPEI: damn is this going to be another section where you are pretty much the only one talking
SEVEN: yes
i heard about the kidnappings and went to save the kids
JUNPEI: and what happened
SEVEN: i got caught
they sent me to the jail cell on the GIGANTIC
anways i found the kids
JUNPEI: no way
SEVEN: yeah way
anyways some of them went through the 9 DOOR and the others went up a rope into the VENT with me
HONGOU was pissed
he made so fuckin weird noises
i got a BRAVE WHITE HAIRED BOY out then noticed they were in an INCINERATOR
as we ran up some stairs he said AKANE, his SISTER, got left behind
JUNPEI: oh gang i dont like this
SEVEN: so me the WHITE HAIRED BOY and A BLIND KID went to look for her
HONGOU brought her into the INCINERATOR
JUNPEI: Hey What Happened
SEVEN: she died
JUNPEI: Uh Hey Boss
What Was Her Last Name
SEVEN: her name was AKANE KURASHIKI
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: uh oh
JUNPEI:
SNAKE: i was the BLIND BOY just to let you know
sorry for not telling you
CLOVER: neither of us are working for ZERO btw
i didnt know that was you
SEVEN: and SANTA is AKANE's brother-AOI KURASHIKI
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: phew okay were back in business
JUNPEI: well hold up
LIQIUID SNAKE is the ONE DUDE from the PICTURE we didnt know
CLOVER: so is AOI getting revenge for the death of his sister?
JUNPEI: no AOI didnt kill anyone
SNAKE: but HONGOU will be the next target
JUNPEI: okay time to leave the STUDY
the ship is exploding
[THEY LEAVE and go to the INCINERATOR]
SANTA: ow off
AKANE: JUMPY you came
JUNPEI: of course i did i cant leave you
AKANE: im okay i just did some no clipping earlier is all
SANTA: hey ACE has a gun now
HONGOU: ah just like in the SAFE END boys
SEVEN: i fuckin remember asshole
im gonna kick the shit out of you
HONGOU: man this is a pain
JUNPEI: you mean the pain of PROSOPAGNOSIA
HONGOU: no but fuck you man thats not nice
anyways im out
[HONGOU uses the RED with LOTUS and the 9TH MANs bracelet, but the LARGE 9 DOOR doesnt open]
HONGOU: this is fucked
[HONGOU puts down the REVOLVER. SEVEN knocks HONGOU down]
LOTUS: nice
SEVEN: unlike SONIC i dont chuckle
JUNPEI: hey HONGOU you killed the other CRADLE dudes
HONGOU: wait LIQUID SNAKE was NIJISAKI this whole time
JUNPEI: yeah
SNAKE: i dont love that you tried to kill me
HONGOU: i dont blame you i suck
JUNPEI: anyways you killed MAJOR ZERO when you took the POCKET WATCH from me, entered the CAPTAINS QUARTERS and killed him real quick
why did you do it
HONGOU: i got a note that told me to either confess to the sins of the FIRST NONARY GAME or WIN this NONARY GAME
so i had to do it
but ZERO manipulated me
i LOST
SEVEN: and this was all part of your plan right SANTA
or should i say AOI
AOI: i am AOI but im not ZERO
im just an assistant
and this wasnt just for revenge
JUNPEI: then what?
AOI: it was to save someone
JUNPEI: who?
AOI: THE GAYS
i mean
AKANE
save my sister
[SEVEN notices JUNE has dissapeared. JUNPEI becomes worried that AKANE is gone]
SEVEN: Where In The World Is AKANE KURASHIKI
AOI: there was a mistake in the NONARY PROJECT
AKANE was a TRANSMITTER and was suppose to be in BUILDING Q
instead she was with the RECIEVERS on THE GIGANTIC with me
JUNPEI: oh fuck
AOI: do you realize it yet JUNPEI
how do you think you knew HONGOU had PROSOPAGNOSIA
or the stuff with those CRADLE BOYS
and how did you get SNAKE out of the COFFIN
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: oh JUMPY let me answer this one
he knew because i knew
i set it to him through the MORPHIC FIELDSET
also just gonna be my dialogue for a while so sorry about that
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: if TIME was a RIVER that split into two
then i am someone who can transfer info of what happens down one split path-PATH A
to someone who lives on the other split path-PATH B
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: i bet youre wondering who i am
i am ZERO
ZERO: well actually i am I, THE 9TH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET
I, THE 9TH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET: but also i am LESS THAN ZERO
LESS THAN ZERO: i WILL BE ZERO
in 9 YEARS
JUNPEI: AKANE where did you go
CLOVER: oh fuck
[AOI holds the GOLDEN REVOLVER up to HONGOU]
JUNPEI: what the hell are you doing
AOI: i already told you
im SANTA
its time to make a wish come true
[SANTA takes ACE and exits the INCINERATOR]
CLOVER: we can only get out if we leave LOTUS behind
LOTUS: go on without me
SEVEN: ew thats ugly
you no with us not good
LOTUS: what
SEVEN: you not getting left behind is the thing
SNAKE: besides ACE already tried to leave through the LARGE 9 DOOR
and it didnt work
JUNPEI: oh yeah
THE NOVEL NARRATOR: i saw this whole thing
boy was it wild
me and JUNPEI were like one
it happened when 9 HOURS AGO there was an explosion on the ship
i ended up in JUNPEIs mind
9 YEARS in the future
KANNY: i was living in two times at once
like watching two movies at once
not really but hey roll with it
[9 YEARS AGO]
KANNY: we ended up in the LARGE HOSPITAL ROOM
two dudes fought and some girl cried
then LIGHT aka SNAKE called us over
LIGHT: hey guys LIGHT FIELD here with my NONARY GAME lets play
okay right now im gonna cast UPLIFTING SPEECH
because i have a SISTER in BUILDING Q
her name is CLOVER and its her 9TH BIRTHDAY today
i was gonna get here the 9 FOUR LEAF CLOVERS
but you guys need them more
HOPE FAITH LOVE and LUCK and all that
KANNY: we did pretty good after that
we made it past the 9 DOORS
and ended up in the INCINERATOR
which is no good
5 kids went through the LARGE 9 DOOR and us other 4 got saved by SEVEN
i was with LOTUS'S DAUGHTER NONA AOI LIGHT and SEVEN
but i noticed i dropped JUMPY'S PRESENT so i went back
thats when HONGOU grabbed me and forced me into the INCINERATOR
HONGOU: hey kid i need this expirment to work so in ya go
[HONGOU closes the INCINERATOR and runs off]
SEVEN: where is HONGOU
what the hell is going on
INCINERATOR: INCINERATION WILL BEGIN IN
[PRESENT DAY]
INCINERATOR: 18 MINUTES
JUNPEI: ah beans this is no good
LIGHT: looks like AOI started the INCINERATOR
LOTUS: hey gang?
what
the
fuck
is
going
on
JUNPEI: ill let you know later
LOTUS: Fuck
CLOVER: hey we are about to burn to death
INCINERATOR: what CLOVER said
you have 17 MINUTES
LOTUS: fine i dont care anymore just figure this shit out SEVEN
SEVEN: why me
im not the protag
LOTUS: im just gonna shut up
[A BIG FUCKIN MACHINE pops up from the floor of the INCINERATOR]
[9 YEARS AGO]
KANNY: aaaah i am crying
im.,.,mjsory i just wan,tred to.,gf., go. home im sosr omory
okay enough cry typing
all i could see was a reflection of myself
[PRESENT DAY]
JUNPEi: all i could see was my damn sexy self reflected on the screen
INCINERATOR: you got 15 minutes
JUNPEI: thats great but what the hell do i do with this thing
LOTUS: allow me dweeb
[LOTUS turns on the HELL SUDOKU] [THIS IS CHANGED TO SOMETHING NOT AS COOL IN THE "NONARY GAMES" REMAKE BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT]
SEVEN: its a fuckin puzzle
CLOVER: just solve it idiot
JUNPEI: im not good at sudoku
LOTUS: are you fucking with us
LIGHT: do your best JUNPEI
INCINERATOR: you got 13 MINUTES
KANNY: i dont know what to do
and i cant get in connection with JUMPY
HONGOU: just solve the puzzle
cmon its so easy
what are you a child
haha
KANNY: actually i am
HONGOU: okay have a safe puzzle
KANNY: i have no say in the matter
HONGOU, WALKING AWAY: die then
INCINERATOR: okay you got 10 minutes
KANNY: this stinks
[KANNY hold on to her JUMPY DOLL]
KANNY: help me JUMPY-WAN KENOBI, youre my only hope
[PRESENT DAY]
JUNPEI: KANNY
SEVEN: AKANE?
LOTUS: who the fuck is
JUNPEI: shut the hell up!
KANNY!
KANNY: JUMPY?
JUNPEI: KANNY
where are you
KANNY: INCINERATOR
JUNPEI: damn me too
INCINERATOR: hurry the heck up you have 7 MINUTES
KANNY: JUMPY we gotta solve this puzzle
are you good at sudoku
JUNPEI: no but i can try
JUNPEI: OH I GET IT NOW
this is why we have the NONARY GAME
AKANE-ZERO-JUNE-KANNY is trying to save her past self in this moment through me
man this is some heavy shit
this is fucked
KANNY: hey so uh
INCINERATOR: 6 MINUTES
KANNY: JUMPY you solving this puzzle or not
JUNPEI: nah i dont think i will
KANNY: wh
JUNPEI: nah im just kidding i got this
[JUNPEI TRANSMITS the answers to KANNY, RECEIVING THEM through the MORPHOGENETIC FIELD]
JUNPEI: there you go
now get the hell outta DODGE
KANNY: okay
[KANNY shuts down the INCINERATOR of her time]
JUNPEI: KANNY
KANNY: it worked
JUNPEI: fuckin nice...
but im gonna hang up now
i also have to not die
KANNY: yeah thats cool
JUNPEI: okay lemme just uhhhhhhhhhhhh reuse this joke real quick
HELL SUDOKU: joke machine broke
INCINERATOR: im about to roast your ass in 60 seconds
JUNPEI: oh fuck
OH
the puzzle means we all gotta use our BRACELETS on the LARGE 9 DOOR
i mean its not a 9 but we all need to verify
[LIGHT CLOVER JUNPEI SEVEN and LOTUS escape the INCINERATOR]
[9 YEARS AGO]
[KANNY exits the INCINERATOR]
KANNY: honey im home
AOI: hey AKANE
SEVEN AND LIGHT: oh fuck what
KANNY: hey gang lets skedaddle before mean old HONGOU comes back and tells us to go to bed
[PRESENT DAY]
JUNPEI: man there sure are a lot of STAIRS
SEVEN: i dont care
why did the LARGE 9 DOOR open
LOTUS: our DIGITAL ROOT was 8
JUNPEI: its because it was BASE-27
SEVEN: what the fuck is will all the numeral base shit im so tired of it it makes no sense what the fuck
JUNPEI: okay anyways
it wasnt a 9 DOOR
it was a LOWERCASE Q DOOR
SEVEN: I FUCKING HATE THIS
JUNPEI: anyways we are at the top of the stairs
im gonna open the door to freedom
EVERYONE: just shut up and do it already
JUNPEI: you know what if you insist on being ruin i will turn this car right around
[JUNPEI opens the FINAL DOOR]
[9 YEARS AGO]
KANNY: well we escaped from the sinking GIGANTIC
AOI: its finally over
KANNY: nah i gotta go become ZERO
and kill some fools
[PRESENT DAY]
JUNPEI: aaah the sun it hurt
SEVEN: oh shit!
the ocean melted
CLOVER: no idiot were in BUILDING Q
[THE NUMBERED BRACELETS fall off]
JUNPEI: hey cool
looks like there were no detonators after all
LIGHT: well except for those dudes who did have bombs like the 9TH MAN and LIQUID SNAKE
JUNPEI: shut up im thinking about AKANE
[SUMMER-END OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL]
JUMPY: no KANNY i am not a weaboo
KANNY: stop lying
how else did you end up getting beat up by like 6 people
JUMPY: because those MIDDLE SCHOOLERS were being mean to a CAT
KANNY: i went and got the police but all we found was you
beat up and ugly
JUMPY: yeah kick a guy while hes down why dont you
besides they killed those RABBITS
KANNY: thats mean
JUMPY: yeah
[PRESENT DAY]
[THE GANG are doing like 100 MPH down the DESERT]
JUNPEI: im still wondering about HONGOU'S MOTIVES
LIGHT: ask him yourself
HONGOU: whats up
JUNPEI: why did you do it all
HONGOU: i just wanted to see human faces
JUNPEI: that literally makes no fucking sense whatsoever
did you even play ZERO ESCAPE: 999
HONGOU: no not really
also ALICE doesnt exist
but i found MANDRAKE ROOT and used it to make SOPORIL
JUNPEI: cool dont care
[SUMMER-END OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL]
JUMPY: well anyways i got you a FOR-YOU DOLL
his name is JUNPEI
KANNY: its a VOODOO DOLL silly
anyways why are you giving it to me
JUMPY: you are leaving in JUNE
and maybe a me voodoo doll is be a bad thing so name it JUNE instead
KANNY: wanna try that sentence again
JUMPY: as long as you have it well always be together
KANNY: thanks JUMPY
ill always remember you
JUMPY: yeah i mean ill try to do that
but no promises
[DRIVING DOWN THE DESERT ROAD]
JUNPEI: hey so if AKANE died 9 YEARS AGO
but she survived because of my MORPHOGENETIC FIELD POWERS
how does SEVEN remember her dying
was it the TRUTH?
or is he really-
CLOVER: hey look theres a hot babe out on the road
wonder who i could be
she dressed in EGYPTIAN STYLE CLOTHING
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
it must be ALICE from VIRTUE'S LAST REWARD
[fin]