Komorebi
[koh-moh-reh-bee]
(Japanese)
the sunshine filtering through the leaves of trees
She was like the sunshine filtering through the leaves of trees. The small ray of light, shining upon you, so beautiful, your only hope. Komorebi, she told you when you told her that fact. You never forgot it, the word.
Now she's gone. Because of a curse. You feel like it's your fault. She became sick after childbirth. She shouldn't have died so soon. Not someone so beautiful, so kind. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to die so young. She was his and she was gone.
She brought you out if your hole, she saw the best in everyone. You remember her smile, and you realize- you can't. You can't live without her. You want to leave the world, and join her, but you don't. Your son needs you. Your beautiful son, you can see traces of her in him. His kindness. His smile. His peppiness. It's all from her.
You'll never forget your first meeting with her. She stumbled across you at that pub in Diagon Alley. You had never noticed her at school, not really, and now you wonder how you could have missed her.
She saw the best in him, the part he didn't know he had. You remember her comforting words. Without her, you are incomplete. Without her, you are nothing. You don't know how you'll cope.
You can imagine her smiling upon you. You can imagine her telling you that you can get through it. But you know you can't. Not without her by your side.
You want to cry, and do only that. You feel a pit in your stomach. You don't want to believe she's dead. But you know she is. You know when you wake up without her next to you. You know when the house feels so empty without her constant humming. You can't hold it back. You let the first tear fall.
You feel angry with life. With Fate. It's not fair. You can imagine her telling you life is not fair. You know it's true, but you still feel angry. You put your hands on your head. You feel more tears on your already tear-stained face.
You imagine her every detail, and you're afraid you'll forget how she looks. But somewhere down deep, you know you'll never be able to forget her perfect face.
You want to scream, and you do. You don't care about anything else. She's gone. She's gone to the world, and you hate the feeling in your stomach. You don't know what to do. Living without her is torture.
You feel pain soaring through your body, but you know there's no cure. You can't cure the loss of someone you love.
You stay awake in bed for ages, dwelling your thoughts on her.
You don't want to believe it, but you know she's gone.
You think of the word. Komorebi. There's no way to explain what she really was to you, in a single word, but Komorebi seemed to sum it up. Hope. Beauty. And so much more.
AN: I hope you enjoyed it! I normally don't write angst, but I tried? Tell me what you think!
Written for:
Sienna: My first friend on FFN, and one of my closest. Love you lots, xoxo. Happy Birthday!
The Room of Requirement:
Broaden Your Horizons: Angst Stories- Torture
Word Count: 505 words.