Girl In Black : My Lady in Black
By-Lark57
A/N-Thanks to all the people who voted and I have the winner. Duo! Yea for the God of Death. Now here's my fic, please don't flame me whatever that may be. I hear it's a bad thing whatever it is. The basics apply, I don't owm Gundam and I don't own Sailor Moon. I wish I did but I don't :sniffle: anyways don't forget to review.
The God Of Death' POV
How did I end up here? The North West Clinic back in America. In Japan you could try a bunch of times to commit suicide and no one would give a damn. I try once in my room to slit my wrist and my mom rushes me to this stupid prison. No one has listened to me at all despite what it says in the pamphlet. 'We'll help your children conquer their deamons' my butt. Can they even begin to erase all the images I have from the war. I tried to be like Heero, Trowa and Wu-Fie, I tried to not let all the death effect me. In Heero's last famous last words 'Mission Failed'.
I still can't believe they're all dead. All three of them seemed so unafraid of death. Who knew that the base would blow up with them inside, trapped like small pika rats. I did. I pressed the button. Heero told me to. Dakin was going to excape and there was no way they could get out before he did with Mari Maya. Wu-Fie told me to press the button, Trowa agreed, even Quatre, who I knew for a fact did not want to die, wanted to get married to Dorthy and live to drive, said that those stupid colonies were more important than his life. So I did it. I pressed that damn button with all my might and watched the whole complex explode in a vibrant combination of oranges, reds, yellows and in the center, blue, just like a candle. After the Preventers put all the fires out I went searching for my fellow piolots' bodies. There was nothing, they had been compleatly encarserated.
I hate myself now. I'm no longer the happy go lucky pilot who maeks all the sarcastic comments to the always quiet Heero or the sensitive Trowa. I only share my bitter jokes with myself and the counceler when I want to scare her. There is not a single God damn reason for me to be alive right now, if only they let me get near a sharp object so that I can put myself out of my own internal misery that no one will ever understand.
Sailor Saturn's POV
How long have I been here? Maybe 2 or 3 years. I'm past the child years of optimism and am now a freshmen in highschool. Or I would be if I weren't in the North West Clinic in South Carolina. When did my life start to go so wrong? Can I even recall what happened?
Mistress 9 had infested my body once again. Only this time she was more powerful. She only needed my body, not my extensive power. She manipulated my friends and my care taker, Sestuna. The evil women broke up with my boyfriend Sammy, distancing me from the Inner Senshi. I betrayed them. I used my only power, the World Destruction Beauty (I know that's not the name but I don't know what it's actually called.)
I betrayed them, all of the Sailor Senshi. Not only did I betray them but I killed them. Not even Sailor Pluto could stop time to prevent my destruction from being compleate. When Mistress 9 left me I was nothing but a mortal. My powers had been used to their greatest extent. I have waited for them to return and they have slowly but surely. I can once again transform in to the Death Queen, Sailor Saturn. but I will never use my powers again, not for anyone. I will not kill the masses. When I get out of this Clinic I will only destroy myself before anyone can stop me.
The North West Clinic in Greenfeild, South Carolina.
Patient 1
Name: Hotaru Momoe
Age:14
Distint features: Black hair
Purple Eyes
5'6
87 pounds (sufficiently under weight)
Symbol of Saturn tatto on mid back
Origins:Unknown
Diagnosed Problem: Severe manic depression
Suicidal
# of Attempts-3 (once every year on a full moon)
Anorexia
Possible mute
Session #572 Recorded-October 12, 2081 12:45-1:36
"Hello Hotaru," greeted Herold Mack. Hotaru looked at him in silence, not expressing any feeling in her dark purple eyes. Herold nodded for her to sit in the chair across from him. Hotaru sat, bearly making a sound when she touched the seat because of her weigh. "I brought a snack for you if you feel hungry during the session," herold offered. When Hotaru shook her head Herold sighed. Hotaru only ate enough for her body to sustain life. It was some sort of self torture but he could not figure out why she was doing it. In fact he knew nothing. Hotaru had said nothing for the past year and a half. Some of his collgues believed that she had become mute.
"So Hotaru, I assume you didn't eat all of your breakfast. Why is that? Why do you make your self suffer like this? I would think that you would have tried to starve your self but you always eat enough to stay alive. I've never seen this form of anorexia before," Herold said not actually expecting a responce. He would never expect any responce from Hotaru. The only way he was able to reach her was through the drawing therepy.
"Okay we'll get right to it then. Here's your drawing pad. I want you to draw two pictures today. They can be anything you want as always. I'll let you do that while I go make some notes." Herold passed Hotaru the paper pad that was more like a book because they couldnt let suicidal victims hold anything that could harm them. Hotaru reached for the pencil and began to draw slowly, taking great care not to make a mistake.
Herold left the room and jotted down on his note pad that nothing had changed in Patient 1's conditions. He had been hopeful that her attitude would improve as Hotaru's birthday approached. Herold was thinking of trying something on her birthday on October 14. He was thinking of having a joint session with his other patient, Duo Maxwell. Hoatru was at that age where she was ready to try new experiences, which included sex. It was not that Herold planned to force the either of them, but both Duo and Hotaru's symptoms were similar, maybe they would be able to find a common ground.
Herold peeked into the room to see how Hotaru was doing. She had put the pencil down mext to the note pad to signal that she had finished. Herold stepped the rest of the way into the room and took the pad. He flipped through the numerous pictures of teenage girls in assorted costumes fighting hideous monsters to see if she had prehaps drawn something different. To his only slight dissapointment Herold saw that she had once again drawn the tall green haired girl who looked older then all the others. This time though, Hotaru had drawn herself with the tall women. Hotaru had never incorrperated herself into the pictures. The next one was of a brown haired teenage boy kissing Hotaru on the cheek.
Was this a sign that Hotaru had had a different life before the Momoes had brought her to the clinic? Herold knew that Hotaru had been adopted at age 15, with no past to tell of. was this a clue? If it was that meant that they were actually making progress in Hotaru's therapy treatment.
"Is this your mother?" Herold asked Hotaru pointing to the green haired women. Again hotaru was silent, but for the first time Herold noticed a small tear at the coner of Hotaru's wide and inpassionate eyes. "And this," Herold inquired, flipping to the picture of the boy, "Your boyfriend maybe?"
There was no answer from the girl. Hotaru got up slowly and left the room. Herold always allowed his patients to leave on their own will. He did not want this place to seem like a confinement anymore then it already did.
Patient 2
Name: Duo Maxwell
Age:16
Distint features: 12 inch brown braid
Purple eyes
5'11
116 (mostly muscle)
Burn scar rapping around left arm
Origins:Unknown
Diagnosed Problem: Severe manic depression
Suicidal
# of Attempts-5
Pathological liar (makes up stories of alternate universes)
Session 108 Recorded-October 13, 2081 3:56pm-5:12pm
"Hey Duo," Herold greeted after filing Hotaru's new drawings.
"Hey," Duo answered quietly as if he was off in his own world. Though he had tried many times, Duo could not stay quiet like many people did in the clinic so instead he told the truth that no one believed.
"So where do you want to start today?" Herold asked.
"Same place we start everyday. Is there any kind of drug that can make me forget Operation Metor?" Duo requested sourly. Herold sighed as Duo once again mentioned his make believe world.
"No Duo. You know you cannat have any drugs except for the prescribed medicine for your depression. When will you tell me what your past was really like?" Herold pleaded.
"When you accept the stories I've been telling you for the past year," Duo answered snappily. He sagged in his seat, giving up on the un-excepting shrink.
"Right. Actually I have something I want to discuss with you Duo. How would you feel about having a joint session with my other patient, Hotaru Momoe?" Herold suggested.
Duo shrugged.
"Not exactly. Unlike you, Hotaru has managed to not talk for about 3 years now. I have suspected that she is a mute for a long time. You'll be able to talk to her but don't anticipate to carry on a conversation," Herold warned. Duo shrugged again. The rest of the session was spent with Duo telling the story of when he recieved his new Gundam, Death Scythe Hell.
Joint Session # 1 with Patient 1 and Patient 2- October 14,2081
Hotaru's POV
I walked into the room, looking forward to another recorded session with Herold and his mindless assessments. When I sat down at the wooden table Herold did not start immedientally as usual. I looked up at him with a quesitoning look in my eyes.
"We're having a joint session with my other patient. He should be here in a moment." Herold looked out the doorway once more. Why did he not ask my permission for this? I did not want to 'converse' with anyone else, much less have trouble with controlling my hormones and try to impress him. Then I realized that even if Herold had requested my permission I wouldn't have answered and he would have done it anyways.
A boy a few inches taller than me walked into the room and slouched in the chair opposite of mine. I examined him as he did me. The boy had light brown hair that was braided. On any other guy it probably would have looked uncharateristic but on him it looked nice. Like me he had purple eyes, but his had more blue than mine did. I stared at those eyes for a long time, trying to figure out what about him made me want to live.
Duo's POV
I was a few minuets late and Herold gave me a glare just like Heero use to. I wanted to cry right there and then from being reminded of my dead friend but contained myself. Already sitting at the wooden table was a skinny and pale girl with countering black hair. She must have been Hotaru. I sat down at the table and began to study her features. She met my eyes with an equal purple eyed gaze.
Herold the idiot babbled something but I wasn't really paying attention. I was still trying to figure out Hotaru and why she didn't talk. When Herold left the room to go do something unknown to me I asked straight out.
"Why don't you talk?" I asked, alittle afraid I might insult her.
"I talk, just not to Herold or any of the other doctors. They cannot help me and so I see no reason for wasting my energy," Hotaru stated. I was a little sad because her voice sounded so weak and feable. I didn't want to be responsible for breaking such a fragile creature.
"Oh. I could never not talk to someone. I have to tell my stories to someone whether they believe them or not," I said. Hotaru looked at me with intrest.
"What kind of stories? Do you make them up or do you tell the story of your past?" Hoatru inquired. I was puzzled why she would care but I felt obligated to continue.
"Stories from my past. Herold says that they're all in my head though. I read his notes on me. I'm suppose to be a pathological liar. I'm not really, all my stories just seem to unrealistic for him to grasp," I explained. I wasn't sure what Hotaru thought of me now.
"Can I hear one of them?" Hotaru beesched of me. I looked at her, mystified at why anyone would care about my past, especially a girl who lacked many more years to live. I had made this assumption when I met her and saw how little she weighed.
"Okay," and so I began what I had entitled The Endless Waltz. For the first time I told it all the way through, including the death of my 4 friends. I had never be able to do that before, not even with myself. It had been to painful to re-live. What had given me the power now?
Hotaru's POV
I listened to Duo's sad story and believed every single word that came out of his mouth. I didn't care what Herold had hypothesised about what mental problems the fighter pilot might have. I embraceed the whole struggle that he had endured as a teenager because it was so much like my own. I wanted to share my prodigy with Duo and repay him for letting me into his circle of trust but I never got the chance that day.
"That was a sad story. I do not pity you though, nor do I pity the other pilots. They assesnted to their own destruction. If you hadn't pressed that button then they could have died anyways without a cause. At least this way their lives were not wasted," I explaned. The look on Duo's face gaev me the greatest joy, as if I had been reunited with Sestuna. His perry winkle eyes sparkled in revolation when he finally realized that his friends had died for a good cause.
"Thank you Hotaru. You do not know what you have just explained to me, or what you have saved me from. I hope I can repay you," Duo said giving me a small hug. I could tell by how gentle he was that he was afraid of breaking me.
"Maybe you can someday," I said quietly. Then I thought of what I could share with Duo. "Would you like to see my drawings? Since I haven't talked to Herold he makes me draw every session," I offered my most prized posession.
"Sure. Should I go get them? Just so you don't have to break your no talking streak?" Duo joked and for the first time in 5 years I actually laughed. I had forgotten what it was like to be happy, to laugh, how had this boy brought it out of me?
"Yes that would be nice," I agreed. Duo nodded and went to get my note pad from Herold. In a few minuets he returned with a pencil and my pad in hand.
"Herold thought that you might like to draw what you are feeling or some sappy stuff like that," Duo said handing me my things. I raised an eye brow at the suggestion but then began to think of what I would draw. Then, having an idea in my head, I openned the drawing pad and began to sketch, glancing up at Duo who was watching me work.
"Done," I announced softly and put the closed tablet in the middle of the table. Duo came over to sit next to me so I could explain each drawing. I went through each page, telling him about Raye, Ami, Sereana, Lita, Rini, Mina, Michelle, Amara and most importantly Sestuna. Then we reached the picture I illustrated of me and Sammy.
"And who may this be?" Duo said looking at me skeptically. I blushed a light crimson. Why did I have to draw that picture?
"You'll find out eventually," I said. Then Duo turned the page and saw my most recent drawing. It was the first one I did of just my self and no one else. It was what I imagined I looked like when I was transforming into Salior Saturn. I held my breath as Duo exaimed it.
"Where did you get this idea from?" was all he asked after 5 minuets of silent.
"That's my secret," I said teasingly. Dou looked at me with false shock.
"I expose my soul to you and all you can tell me is that I'm find out tomorrow? How mean are you?" At this I started to cry. I don't know why, maybe it as from looking at all the pictures of my dead friends or Duo's accusation.
Duo's POV
When Hotaru started to cry I was at her side in a flash. "I only meant it as a joke. You're not mean Hotaru. You're pretty nice," I said wiping a tear from her cheek.
Hotaru looked at me with still moistened eyes. "I know Duo but...but... I can't," Hotaru said. I was about to ask Hotaru what she intended to mean, but then Herold came in. Damn that red headed man.
"I heard crying," he said and then rushed over to Hotaru, pushing me out of the way. "Are you alright Hotaru? What did you do Duo?" he accused quickly before lettin Hotaru respond.
"I didn't do anything. We were looking at the pictures she drew and then she started crying," I defended myself.
"Okay. I'll believe you. Come on you two, I don't think we'll do any more joint sessions," Herold decided.
I was about to object when Hotaru's voice cut me off. "No. I like the joint sessions. I like talking to Duo and hearing his stories," she stated in Herold's arms.
Fortunately Herold didn't drop Hotaru from shock of hearing her voice but unfortunately he lectured me. "Why did you tell her those stories Duo? You know how impressionable her mind is at this age."
"I'm still in the room Herold. I'm not a little kid anymore. I can believe what I want. If I want to think that there's a paraelle universe where machines rule then I will so shut your big mouth." With a dramatic exit, Hotaru retreated to her room while I slunk off to my own.
Hotaru's POV
I calmed myself and ressumed on the idea of not talking to any of the doctors. I went to dinner and began my regular rutine of pushing my food away but then stopped. If I was going to tell Duo about my past I would need strength, more then I was getting now. When I took that first bite of macoroni and chesse I felt fine. I finished my whole plate, not letting my mind wander to the fact that I was letting fat and other unatural chemicals into my system. I did it all for Duo, but I'm still unaware why.
That night of my birthday I couldn't sleep. My stomach was too full and I felt like I was going to burst. I tried my hardest to contain my food but in less then 10 minuets I rushed to the bathroom and began to throw up my dinner. At some point I went past regurgitating my dinner and some sort of pinkish water began to come out of my mouth. I had read a book once about anorexic people who went to far and started to throw up their digestive acids. That didn't occur to me while I was in the bathroom. After an half an hour session of empting my body I crawled to bed and fell asleep instantly.
Duo's POV
I was staying up late looking at Hotaru's pictures in the notebook that I had taking from the room. I kept going through them, reciting every girl's name and tried to figure out why they were all dressed in some sort of uniforms. I stayed quiet for a second, pausing on the picture with Sammy and Hotaru. I was jealous of an assumed dead 15 year old. How bad could it get?
What about that girl had been so interesting? Why couldn't I stop thinking abuot her? What I felt when I was with her was similar to what I felt about Heilde before she died too. Could I love Hotaru like I loved Heilde, and how would I know that after only knowing her for a matter of minuets?
In the mitist of piting myself I heard people yelling about some girl who had gone into a coma. Some where in the pandimonium I heard the name Hotaru and rushed out of my room.
"Stay inside son," a paramedic told me when he rushed past. I ignored him and followed. No one seemed to notice me until they were loading the ambulance with Hotaru's small and even frailer body. I had to go with her. I started to climb up into the ambulance when a EMT pushed me off.
"Family members only. No boyfriends," he ordered.
I lied and said "I'm her brother. Look at our eyes." The EMT looked at my purple eyes and then checked what color eyes Hotaru had. He fell for my deseption. Maybe I was pathological liar, maybe I just cared.
"Okay, jump on," he said. While we were driving to the local hospital the EMT, John, asked me a bunch of medical questions. "How long has she been anorexic? What's her blood type? Is she one any drugs?" I was able to answer them with much ease because I had memorized the sheet on her I had stolen from Herold.
The ambulance arrived at the hospital quickly. I jumped out of the paramedics way as the rush Hotaru to the ER. I started to follow by a candy striper stopped me when I was going to enter the operation room.
"Sorry but only authorized personal are allowed in the operating room. You'll have to stay out here and fill out these forms," she told me. I didn't answer, just stared. The cany striper recembled the women in Hotaru's drawing. She was tall and had the same long green hair. Maybe Hotaru's friends were still alive.
I walked over to the waiting area and began to feel out the 4 page hospital form. I fished quickly and just waited. I was surprised I didn't see Herold or any of the other doctors until an hour after Hotaru had gone into the ER.
"What are you doing here Duo? How did you get here?" Herold asked in amazement.
"I told the paramedics that I was Hotaru's brother. She's been in the ER for about an hour now," I informed the doctor. He should have been here the moment that he knew Hotaru was in the hospital. Some help he was.
"Duo you know you aren't allowed out of the clinic in your condition. Come on, we're going home," Herold ordered. He got up and held out his hand to help me up. I shook my head. I wouldn't leave Hotaru for anything, I wouldn't betray another friend.
"Don't force me to sedate you Duo," Herold threatened. I ignored him and got up, seeing that the green haired nurse had come out of the trauma room.
"Hey nurse lady," I called out. "Can I see her now?"
"Yes but don't expect to get to much out of her. Even when the doctors brought her back she wouldn't tell them what had happened," the nurse said. Why does eveyone continuously say that?
I followed the nurse to the room where Hotaru was being kept. "I'll let you talk to her for about an hour but then visiting hours will be over and I will have to give her her medication," the nurse informed me. I nodded to signify that I understood and the candy striper left.
"Hey Hotaru, how ya feeling?" I asked sitting down on the side if her bed.
Hotaru's POV
It was sweet of Duo to follow me, but I didn't want him to see me in my worse state. I turned my head away and was quiet like I had been with the doctors. Duo looked at me with a hurt expression. With my head turned I started to cry silently. I didn't want Duo to be hurt but I didn't want him to waste the rest of his possibly happy life on my problems.
"Why won't you talk to me Hotaru? I'm not a doctor, I'm your fake brother. You can talk to me," Duo said trying to convince me. What he meant by him bring my brother I didn't understand but I still refused to speak to him, hurting myself even more every time.
"Okay you don't have to talk, I'll just stay here and make sure you don't die. For as long as I can anyway, until that lady takes me away. Did you notice that she looks like your friend, Sestuna I think?" Duo said trying to feel the silence. I made no movement to acknowledge what he said was right. I was so tired. I couldn't take it. Maybe just closing my eyes, he wouldn't notice since I wasn't talking anyways. Just a short nap.
Duo's POV
The nurse was right, Hotaru wouldn't talk to me. I was sitting on the bed, watching her, when the monitor stoped beeping and went into a long period ping. I jumped up and went into the hall way. Standing right there was the Sestuna look alike.
"Her monitor..It stopped or something. She's dying," I informed her in a frenzy. She nodded and pressed a com watch to alert the doctor. I stepped out of the way when the rushed into the room. When the door was closed I stayed just long enough to hear the doctor say "I don't think she's going to make it."
I slipped into another empty room. I looked on the steel shelf, finding exactly what I was looking for, the needles. Hotaru was dead, the pilots were dead. Why shouldn't join them? I had never tried acupuncture before but it couldn't be much different from using a kinfe.
I held up my arm and stuck the needle into my arm vien. It hurt and I cringed because I hadn't tried it in a long time, but I started to rememeber the void feeling of nto caring. I kept sticking the needle in and out in different places on my arm. Soon enough my arm was covered in sticky dark blood. I strated on my left arm but my right arm wasn't strong enough to press the needle in.
Being weak and unable to do anymore damage to myself I sat there and waited to blck out like alway7s. Hopefully this time I wouldn't wake up in a hospital bed with IV stuck into me. Why couldn't people just let me die in peace.
Hotaru's POV
I woke up feeling worse then before. I looked to see if Duo had stayed with me like he had promised but he had left. I started to cry again. I had been abandoned once more. But who could blame him really. I didn't talk to him and I had looked like I was already dead.
"Don't cry. I don't like it when you cry, makes your eyes all red and takes the color away from them," a weak voice said next to me behind the curtain. It was Duo, I could tell, but why did he sound so sickly.
"Duo? What happen to you?" I asked.
"Now you're talking to me. Good. I like to hear your voice. You have a nice voice, did you know that?" Duo rambled. I could tell that he was a little 'happy' on the juice that they were giving them.
"What happened Duo?" I asked again.
"I found some nice needles and we had a little party." This was Duo's way of saying he had tried to commit suicide, I imagined.
"Why did you do that Duo?" I persisted with my questions.
Duo sighed and answered. "Because I thought you had died. I thought I could join you. We could chill on the imaginary beach with those tropical drinks and small umbrellas," Duo answered. I gasped lightly when I realized that I had been dead for a few minuets. I had actually successed in killing myself. I had beat the doctors, they had failed in trying to save me from myself. I knew how to take my life without any sharp object. But did I want to anymore. If Duo had tried to kill himself when he found out I was dead wouldn't he be willing to do it again. I didn't want him to die. I...I...loved him....too much to let him cease to live.
Duo's POV
Right now I really hated the seperating curtain. That was the only thing keeping me from seeing Hotaru and telling her how I felt. I could say it right now, under my breath.
"Hotaru, I love you," I said to myself for the 5th time.
But I couldn't say it to Hotaru. You didn't confess your love to a girl when you can't even see her. It was like using the phone. I wish I could just get up, pull back the blind and kiss her. Make her feel like I did, be as happy as I was because I knew that she wasn't dead.
The nurse, who I had now learned was named Puu Sestuna, came into the room. I don't think Hotaru knew that though, she didn't seem so happy to see the woman when she came with medication.
"Hey guys," she greeted kindly. "I heard some talking in here. Maybe I should pull this drape back so you can actually see eachother." Sestuna pulled the drape back just as Hotaru turned her head to me. Was she mad at me for trying to kill myself? Or for talking to her, for even being here?
"I'll be back in a few minuets to unhook you from that IV Duo. This was hardly as bad as you first commitence. Good thing that you couldn't get the needle into your other vien huh?" I nodded, but no longer really sure. If Hotaru hated me then did I really want to live? Why was this all so confusing? So many questions.
"Hotaru, do you hate me now? And if you do, then could you hate me even more if you were looking at me? I want to tell you something but I can't tell you if you're not looking at me," I said clearly. I was being bold but that was probably just the IV provine speaking.
"I don't want you to see me, to pity me," Hotaru said quitely. I was shocked. How could i feel any sort of pity for a girl who was so powerful and strong, and and beautiful.
"Hotaru. Sometimes I think you can be the smartest 15 year old I know, but right now you're acting like the air heads on TV. What would make you ever think I pitied you?"
"Because you were nice to me. Duo, you are the first person to actually treat me like a human and not like a project that needs to be fixed. The only reason I can come up with for why you treat me that way is because you pity me. You're one of those people that Herold told me about, the ones who feel like they have to make everyone happy," Hotaru said with her head still slighty turned away from me.
"Since when have you ever listened to HEROLD? That idiot doesn't know anything if that's what he told you," I told Hotaru.
"Fine then why are you so nice to me? Why, out of all the people in the clinic did you talk to me? Why not Kalley, the heroine addict, or Nick, the kid who thinks that he can fly?!" Hotaru said. She really was clueless about why I had taken my time to look at her pictures or agreed to have the joint session with her. SO much for subtly.
"Because you cray fool. I LOVE you!" There. I had told her, now it was Hotaru's move.
Hotaru's POV
"I love you too Duo," I said so quietly that I, myself could barly hear the words. I couldn't tell Duo though. If Duo found out then we would become close and then I would betray him. I betrayed everyone that got close because that's what it came down to. I couldn't risk the world for the ones I loved, and when Mistress Nine came back that was what would happen. That's what always happened.
"Say something Hotaru. At least tell me why you don't feel the same so I can change," Duo pleaded. He was pleading to me but I couldn't give in. I cared for him too much to give in.
"I love you Duo, but I need you to not love me," I said to him. He looked so confused, but I understood why. Even I didn't get what I was saying. "Duo, come here." I pointed to a spot on my bed. "I'll tell you about my paraelle universe," I invited. I could see in his eyes that he thought I was ready to feel mutual love. It would hurt to break his heart but I had to, right?
I told Duo everything there was to know about the Sailor Senshi, even Amara's allergic reaction to tofu on my 12th birthday. It felt good to remember all the good times I had with my family, as I called them. Then I came to the part where I was poessed by Mistress Nine, and the part where I betrayed my queen and friends. Duo listened and nodded at all the right times. As I told him my story and he made all the comments that I needed to hear, I loved him even more.
"Duo, I love you. I really do and believe me when I say it but I want you to leave. I love you so much that I don't want you to be hurt if Mistress Nine comes back like everyone else was. Do yoiu understand?" I asked.
"I understand Hotaru but I don't care. I'll love you even when you're possessed and even if I do die, I'll wait for you to join me. Don't YOU understand that I love you so much that I don't care?" Duo said trying to convince me. I was going to argue but then the nurse came in adn Duo had to return to his bed.
"Hotaru, I want you to come with me. The doctors want to preform some more tests to decide if you can go home tomorrow. Come on." The nurse came over to my bed to help me up. I leaned on her and then hobbled out of the room.
The candy striper led me to an empty room that had a single white exam table. i pushed myself up on to it and used most of my strength doing so.
"I realized that I haven't told you my name, which is most likly the reason you haven't jumped into my arms. It's me Hotaru, Sestuna," the nurse said. She took off her lab coat to reveal the Sailor Pluto uniform. In the coner was the staff that Sestuna carried with her.
"I thought you were dead," I whispeared, afraid that I was dreaming and that it wasn't real.
"No. I couldn't stop you from destroying our world but I could save the others. I transfered all of them to another time period, another world. I've been looking for you ever since I regained my strength and now I have found you. Now I can take you home. You do want to go home right? Duo will not keep you here?" Sestuna asked, projecting a boy who was sitting in his bed, pondering why I didn't want him.
"No, it will be better if I leave him. Then I won't hurt him if Mistress Nine comes back," I siad, standing up and giving Sestuna a hug. She wrapped me in her arms and then held me out and looked me in the face.
"Mistress Nine was destroyed when you killed yourself. She can't come back either," she informed me. I gasped, why hadn't I realized that?
"Then I don't know. I want to be with Duo more than anything but I want to see the others too," I argued with myself.
"He could come with us. If there' nothing holding him here," Sestuna suggested. My eyes widened. I could actually be happy. I would have my family and the one I loved more than my self. When had life become so kind?
"Really? Duo can come with us? With me?" I asked speechless.
"Yes he could if he wanted," Sestuna said with a smile, glad to see Hotaru happy.
Duo's POV
Hotaru had rejected me in so many ways. No she had not rejected me, she did love me, but too much. Was that possible, since when had love become so complicated? I stared at the light blue ceiling when Hotaru came scampering into the room like a rabbit. She slipped but caught herself on the rail of my bed.
"Duo, come with me,to my world," she demanded before kissing me. i tried to speak but she wouldn't take her lips off mine so I just gave up and kissed back. Hotaru climbed up onto my bed to become more comfortable.
I held her small body in my arms before pushing Hotaru away. "What do you mean? Come to your world?" I asked.
"The nurse. You were right, it was Sestuna. She's been looking for me to take me home. She said you could come if you wanted. PLease come and be happy with me Duo," Hotaru begged, looking at me with eyes filled with stars.
"Ofcourse I will Hotaru. Ofcourse I will," I agreed. Hotaru smiled and kissed me again.
----------------------In the future, about 2 year in the future to say exactaly--------------------
Duo pulled out a tattered red note book filled with drawings of the Sailor Senshi. He flipped through it and found what he was looking for. He tore out the last picture and put it in a dark purple envolope. He slipped it into his back pocket before climbing into the limo.
At 7:30 pm the limo arrived at the Momoe household and outside, sitting on the swing was a skinny girl. Duo looked at Hotaru and thought of how beautiful she looked. Hotaru's atire was a long, dark purple sleeve less dress that trailed alittle behind her. As a cover she had a black knit coat that went to the ground, perfect for the only slightly nippy weather of California.
"You look wonderful," Duo complimented, taking Hotaru's hand in his.
"Thank. You don't look so bad yourself," Hotaru said with a slight hint a happiness in her voice. Duo breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that Hotaru just wanted to have fun like him.
The two seated them selfs in the limo and the shafuer drove them to the local highschool where the two were greeted warmly at the homecoming dance. Near the stage was the table for the head cheerleader and foortball player. Duo and Hotaru took their seats before Brittney, the social planner, made announcements.
"And finally I would like to present the Homecoming king and queen. Duo Maxwell and Hotaru Tomoe. Come up here you guys," Brittney called down to the couple who were just as surprised as everyone else was not. But ofcourse no one else knew of their past which involved anything but homecoming achivements.
Duo and Hotaru walked on the stage and excepted their crowns, which meant more to them then anyone knew. After the Inner Senshi thanked Hotaru, Duo took her outside to talk.
"We've come far haven't we?" Duo inquired, pointing to the circlet the was on his head.
"Yeah from not wanting to live to, I guess, wanting to. That's a big step," Hotaru said, taking a seat on the swing on the play ground.
"Herold would have been proud,"Duo said.
"Yeah. I kinda wished I had taken something to remember that place by," Hotaru said to herself.
"Why ever, my fair lady, would you want to remember that horrid place?" Duo asked in his best british accent.
"Because that is where I met you, my rpince," Hotaru said, kissing Duo quicly on the lips.
"Oh well then I have something you might want. To my one and only I give this," Duo said. He held out the black envolope that he had found earlier. Hotaru took it and opened it with a long nail. Inside was a picture that brought back so many good memories that Hotaru began to cry.
"Where did you get it?" Hotaru asked.
"That's my seacret," Duo said playfully. Hotaru swatted at him but then ended up hugging Duo hard around the middle.
In Hotaru's hand was a picture of Sailor Saturn with the title that Duo had scribbled on it. 'My lady in black'.
By-Lark57
A/N-Thanks to all the people who voted and I have the winner. Duo! Yea for the God of Death. Now here's my fic, please don't flame me whatever that may be. I hear it's a bad thing whatever it is. The basics apply, I don't owm Gundam and I don't own Sailor Moon. I wish I did but I don't :sniffle: anyways don't forget to review.
The God Of Death' POV
How did I end up here? The North West Clinic back in America. In Japan you could try a bunch of times to commit suicide and no one would give a damn. I try once in my room to slit my wrist and my mom rushes me to this stupid prison. No one has listened to me at all despite what it says in the pamphlet. 'We'll help your children conquer their deamons' my butt. Can they even begin to erase all the images I have from the war. I tried to be like Heero, Trowa and Wu-Fie, I tried to not let all the death effect me. In Heero's last famous last words 'Mission Failed'.
I still can't believe they're all dead. All three of them seemed so unafraid of death. Who knew that the base would blow up with them inside, trapped like small pika rats. I did. I pressed the button. Heero told me to. Dakin was going to excape and there was no way they could get out before he did with Mari Maya. Wu-Fie told me to press the button, Trowa agreed, even Quatre, who I knew for a fact did not want to die, wanted to get married to Dorthy and live to drive, said that those stupid colonies were more important than his life. So I did it. I pressed that damn button with all my might and watched the whole complex explode in a vibrant combination of oranges, reds, yellows and in the center, blue, just like a candle. After the Preventers put all the fires out I went searching for my fellow piolots' bodies. There was nothing, they had been compleatly encarserated.
I hate myself now. I'm no longer the happy go lucky pilot who maeks all the sarcastic comments to the always quiet Heero or the sensitive Trowa. I only share my bitter jokes with myself and the counceler when I want to scare her. There is not a single God damn reason for me to be alive right now, if only they let me get near a sharp object so that I can put myself out of my own internal misery that no one will ever understand.
Sailor Saturn's POV
How long have I been here? Maybe 2 or 3 years. I'm past the child years of optimism and am now a freshmen in highschool. Or I would be if I weren't in the North West Clinic in South Carolina. When did my life start to go so wrong? Can I even recall what happened?
Mistress 9 had infested my body once again. Only this time she was more powerful. She only needed my body, not my extensive power. She manipulated my friends and my care taker, Sestuna. The evil women broke up with my boyfriend Sammy, distancing me from the Inner Senshi. I betrayed them. I used my only power, the World Destruction Beauty (I know that's not the name but I don't know what it's actually called.)
I betrayed them, all of the Sailor Senshi. Not only did I betray them but I killed them. Not even Sailor Pluto could stop time to prevent my destruction from being compleate. When Mistress 9 left me I was nothing but a mortal. My powers had been used to their greatest extent. I have waited for them to return and they have slowly but surely. I can once again transform in to the Death Queen, Sailor Saturn. but I will never use my powers again, not for anyone. I will not kill the masses. When I get out of this Clinic I will only destroy myself before anyone can stop me.
The North West Clinic in Greenfeild, South Carolina.
Patient 1
Name: Hotaru Momoe
Age:14
Distint features: Black hair
Purple Eyes
5'6
87 pounds (sufficiently under weight)
Symbol of Saturn tatto on mid back
Origins:Unknown
Diagnosed Problem: Severe manic depression
Suicidal
# of Attempts-3 (once every year on a full moon)
Anorexia
Possible mute
Session #572 Recorded-October 12, 2081 12:45-1:36
"Hello Hotaru," greeted Herold Mack. Hotaru looked at him in silence, not expressing any feeling in her dark purple eyes. Herold nodded for her to sit in the chair across from him. Hotaru sat, bearly making a sound when she touched the seat because of her weigh. "I brought a snack for you if you feel hungry during the session," herold offered. When Hotaru shook her head Herold sighed. Hotaru only ate enough for her body to sustain life. It was some sort of self torture but he could not figure out why she was doing it. In fact he knew nothing. Hotaru had said nothing for the past year and a half. Some of his collgues believed that she had become mute.
"So Hotaru, I assume you didn't eat all of your breakfast. Why is that? Why do you make your self suffer like this? I would think that you would have tried to starve your self but you always eat enough to stay alive. I've never seen this form of anorexia before," Herold said not actually expecting a responce. He would never expect any responce from Hotaru. The only way he was able to reach her was through the drawing therepy.
"Okay we'll get right to it then. Here's your drawing pad. I want you to draw two pictures today. They can be anything you want as always. I'll let you do that while I go make some notes." Herold passed Hotaru the paper pad that was more like a book because they couldnt let suicidal victims hold anything that could harm them. Hotaru reached for the pencil and began to draw slowly, taking great care not to make a mistake.
Herold left the room and jotted down on his note pad that nothing had changed in Patient 1's conditions. He had been hopeful that her attitude would improve as Hotaru's birthday approached. Herold was thinking of trying something on her birthday on October 14. He was thinking of having a joint session with his other patient, Duo Maxwell. Hoatru was at that age where she was ready to try new experiences, which included sex. It was not that Herold planned to force the either of them, but both Duo and Hotaru's symptoms were similar, maybe they would be able to find a common ground.
Herold peeked into the room to see how Hotaru was doing. She had put the pencil down mext to the note pad to signal that she had finished. Herold stepped the rest of the way into the room and took the pad. He flipped through the numerous pictures of teenage girls in assorted costumes fighting hideous monsters to see if she had prehaps drawn something different. To his only slight dissapointment Herold saw that she had once again drawn the tall green haired girl who looked older then all the others. This time though, Hotaru had drawn herself with the tall women. Hotaru had never incorrperated herself into the pictures. The next one was of a brown haired teenage boy kissing Hotaru on the cheek.
Was this a sign that Hotaru had had a different life before the Momoes had brought her to the clinic? Herold knew that Hotaru had been adopted at age 15, with no past to tell of. was this a clue? If it was that meant that they were actually making progress in Hotaru's therapy treatment.
"Is this your mother?" Herold asked Hotaru pointing to the green haired women. Again hotaru was silent, but for the first time Herold noticed a small tear at the coner of Hotaru's wide and inpassionate eyes. "And this," Herold inquired, flipping to the picture of the boy, "Your boyfriend maybe?"
There was no answer from the girl. Hotaru got up slowly and left the room. Herold always allowed his patients to leave on their own will. He did not want this place to seem like a confinement anymore then it already did.
Patient 2
Name: Duo Maxwell
Age:16
Distint features: 12 inch brown braid
Purple eyes
5'11
116 (mostly muscle)
Burn scar rapping around left arm
Origins:Unknown
Diagnosed Problem: Severe manic depression
Suicidal
# of Attempts-5
Pathological liar (makes up stories of alternate universes)
Session 108 Recorded-October 13, 2081 3:56pm-5:12pm
"Hey Duo," Herold greeted after filing Hotaru's new drawings.
"Hey," Duo answered quietly as if he was off in his own world. Though he had tried many times, Duo could not stay quiet like many people did in the clinic so instead he told the truth that no one believed.
"So where do you want to start today?" Herold asked.
"Same place we start everyday. Is there any kind of drug that can make me forget Operation Metor?" Duo requested sourly. Herold sighed as Duo once again mentioned his make believe world.
"No Duo. You know you cannat have any drugs except for the prescribed medicine for your depression. When will you tell me what your past was really like?" Herold pleaded.
"When you accept the stories I've been telling you for the past year," Duo answered snappily. He sagged in his seat, giving up on the un-excepting shrink.
"Right. Actually I have something I want to discuss with you Duo. How would you feel about having a joint session with my other patient, Hotaru Momoe?" Herold suggested.
Duo shrugged.
"Not exactly. Unlike you, Hotaru has managed to not talk for about 3 years now. I have suspected that she is a mute for a long time. You'll be able to talk to her but don't anticipate to carry on a conversation," Herold warned. Duo shrugged again. The rest of the session was spent with Duo telling the story of when he recieved his new Gundam, Death Scythe Hell.
Joint Session # 1 with Patient 1 and Patient 2- October 14,2081
Hotaru's POV
I walked into the room, looking forward to another recorded session with Herold and his mindless assessments. When I sat down at the wooden table Herold did not start immedientally as usual. I looked up at him with a quesitoning look in my eyes.
"We're having a joint session with my other patient. He should be here in a moment." Herold looked out the doorway once more. Why did he not ask my permission for this? I did not want to 'converse' with anyone else, much less have trouble with controlling my hormones and try to impress him. Then I realized that even if Herold had requested my permission I wouldn't have answered and he would have done it anyways.
A boy a few inches taller than me walked into the room and slouched in the chair opposite of mine. I examined him as he did me. The boy had light brown hair that was braided. On any other guy it probably would have looked uncharateristic but on him it looked nice. Like me he had purple eyes, but his had more blue than mine did. I stared at those eyes for a long time, trying to figure out what about him made me want to live.
Duo's POV
I was a few minuets late and Herold gave me a glare just like Heero use to. I wanted to cry right there and then from being reminded of my dead friend but contained myself. Already sitting at the wooden table was a skinny and pale girl with countering black hair. She must have been Hotaru. I sat down at the table and began to study her features. She met my eyes with an equal purple eyed gaze.
Herold the idiot babbled something but I wasn't really paying attention. I was still trying to figure out Hotaru and why she didn't talk. When Herold left the room to go do something unknown to me I asked straight out.
"Why don't you talk?" I asked, alittle afraid I might insult her.
"I talk, just not to Herold or any of the other doctors. They cannot help me and so I see no reason for wasting my energy," Hotaru stated. I was a little sad because her voice sounded so weak and feable. I didn't want to be responsible for breaking such a fragile creature.
"Oh. I could never not talk to someone. I have to tell my stories to someone whether they believe them or not," I said. Hotaru looked at me with intrest.
"What kind of stories? Do you make them up or do you tell the story of your past?" Hoatru inquired. I was puzzled why she would care but I felt obligated to continue.
"Stories from my past. Herold says that they're all in my head though. I read his notes on me. I'm suppose to be a pathological liar. I'm not really, all my stories just seem to unrealistic for him to grasp," I explained. I wasn't sure what Hotaru thought of me now.
"Can I hear one of them?" Hotaru beesched of me. I looked at her, mystified at why anyone would care about my past, especially a girl who lacked many more years to live. I had made this assumption when I met her and saw how little she weighed.
"Okay," and so I began what I had entitled The Endless Waltz. For the first time I told it all the way through, including the death of my 4 friends. I had never be able to do that before, not even with myself. It had been to painful to re-live. What had given me the power now?
Hotaru's POV
I listened to Duo's sad story and believed every single word that came out of his mouth. I didn't care what Herold had hypothesised about what mental problems the fighter pilot might have. I embraceed the whole struggle that he had endured as a teenager because it was so much like my own. I wanted to share my prodigy with Duo and repay him for letting me into his circle of trust but I never got the chance that day.
"That was a sad story. I do not pity you though, nor do I pity the other pilots. They assesnted to their own destruction. If you hadn't pressed that button then they could have died anyways without a cause. At least this way their lives were not wasted," I explaned. The look on Duo's face gaev me the greatest joy, as if I had been reunited with Sestuna. His perry winkle eyes sparkled in revolation when he finally realized that his friends had died for a good cause.
"Thank you Hotaru. You do not know what you have just explained to me, or what you have saved me from. I hope I can repay you," Duo said giving me a small hug. I could tell by how gentle he was that he was afraid of breaking me.
"Maybe you can someday," I said quietly. Then I thought of what I could share with Duo. "Would you like to see my drawings? Since I haven't talked to Herold he makes me draw every session," I offered my most prized posession.
"Sure. Should I go get them? Just so you don't have to break your no talking streak?" Duo joked and for the first time in 5 years I actually laughed. I had forgotten what it was like to be happy, to laugh, how had this boy brought it out of me?
"Yes that would be nice," I agreed. Duo nodded and went to get my note pad from Herold. In a few minuets he returned with a pencil and my pad in hand.
"Herold thought that you might like to draw what you are feeling or some sappy stuff like that," Duo said handing me my things. I raised an eye brow at the suggestion but then began to think of what I would draw. Then, having an idea in my head, I openned the drawing pad and began to sketch, glancing up at Duo who was watching me work.
"Done," I announced softly and put the closed tablet in the middle of the table. Duo came over to sit next to me so I could explain each drawing. I went through each page, telling him about Raye, Ami, Sereana, Lita, Rini, Mina, Michelle, Amara and most importantly Sestuna. Then we reached the picture I illustrated of me and Sammy.
"And who may this be?" Duo said looking at me skeptically. I blushed a light crimson. Why did I have to draw that picture?
"You'll find out eventually," I said. Then Duo turned the page and saw my most recent drawing. It was the first one I did of just my self and no one else. It was what I imagined I looked like when I was transforming into Salior Saturn. I held my breath as Duo exaimed it.
"Where did you get this idea from?" was all he asked after 5 minuets of silent.
"That's my secret," I said teasingly. Dou looked at me with false shock.
"I expose my soul to you and all you can tell me is that I'm find out tomorrow? How mean are you?" At this I started to cry. I don't know why, maybe it as from looking at all the pictures of my dead friends or Duo's accusation.
Duo's POV
When Hotaru started to cry I was at her side in a flash. "I only meant it as a joke. You're not mean Hotaru. You're pretty nice," I said wiping a tear from her cheek.
Hotaru looked at me with still moistened eyes. "I know Duo but...but... I can't," Hotaru said. I was about to ask Hotaru what she intended to mean, but then Herold came in. Damn that red headed man.
"I heard crying," he said and then rushed over to Hotaru, pushing me out of the way. "Are you alright Hotaru? What did you do Duo?" he accused quickly before lettin Hotaru respond.
"I didn't do anything. We were looking at the pictures she drew and then she started crying," I defended myself.
"Okay. I'll believe you. Come on you two, I don't think we'll do any more joint sessions," Herold decided.
I was about to object when Hotaru's voice cut me off. "No. I like the joint sessions. I like talking to Duo and hearing his stories," she stated in Herold's arms.
Fortunately Herold didn't drop Hotaru from shock of hearing her voice but unfortunately he lectured me. "Why did you tell her those stories Duo? You know how impressionable her mind is at this age."
"I'm still in the room Herold. I'm not a little kid anymore. I can believe what I want. If I want to think that there's a paraelle universe where machines rule then I will so shut your big mouth." With a dramatic exit, Hotaru retreated to her room while I slunk off to my own.
Hotaru's POV
I calmed myself and ressumed on the idea of not talking to any of the doctors. I went to dinner and began my regular rutine of pushing my food away but then stopped. If I was going to tell Duo about my past I would need strength, more then I was getting now. When I took that first bite of macoroni and chesse I felt fine. I finished my whole plate, not letting my mind wander to the fact that I was letting fat and other unatural chemicals into my system. I did it all for Duo, but I'm still unaware why.
That night of my birthday I couldn't sleep. My stomach was too full and I felt like I was going to burst. I tried my hardest to contain my food but in less then 10 minuets I rushed to the bathroom and began to throw up my dinner. At some point I went past regurgitating my dinner and some sort of pinkish water began to come out of my mouth. I had read a book once about anorexic people who went to far and started to throw up their digestive acids. That didn't occur to me while I was in the bathroom. After an half an hour session of empting my body I crawled to bed and fell asleep instantly.
Duo's POV
I was staying up late looking at Hotaru's pictures in the notebook that I had taking from the room. I kept going through them, reciting every girl's name and tried to figure out why they were all dressed in some sort of uniforms. I stayed quiet for a second, pausing on the picture with Sammy and Hotaru. I was jealous of an assumed dead 15 year old. How bad could it get?
What about that girl had been so interesting? Why couldn't I stop thinking abuot her? What I felt when I was with her was similar to what I felt about Heilde before she died too. Could I love Hotaru like I loved Heilde, and how would I know that after only knowing her for a matter of minuets?
In the mitist of piting myself I heard people yelling about some girl who had gone into a coma. Some where in the pandimonium I heard the name Hotaru and rushed out of my room.
"Stay inside son," a paramedic told me when he rushed past. I ignored him and followed. No one seemed to notice me until they were loading the ambulance with Hotaru's small and even frailer body. I had to go with her. I started to climb up into the ambulance when a EMT pushed me off.
"Family members only. No boyfriends," he ordered.
I lied and said "I'm her brother. Look at our eyes." The EMT looked at my purple eyes and then checked what color eyes Hotaru had. He fell for my deseption. Maybe I was pathological liar, maybe I just cared.
"Okay, jump on," he said. While we were driving to the local hospital the EMT, John, asked me a bunch of medical questions. "How long has she been anorexic? What's her blood type? Is she one any drugs?" I was able to answer them with much ease because I had memorized the sheet on her I had stolen from Herold.
The ambulance arrived at the hospital quickly. I jumped out of the paramedics way as the rush Hotaru to the ER. I started to follow by a candy striper stopped me when I was going to enter the operation room.
"Sorry but only authorized personal are allowed in the operating room. You'll have to stay out here and fill out these forms," she told me. I didn't answer, just stared. The cany striper recembled the women in Hotaru's drawing. She was tall and had the same long green hair. Maybe Hotaru's friends were still alive.
I walked over to the waiting area and began to feel out the 4 page hospital form. I fished quickly and just waited. I was surprised I didn't see Herold or any of the other doctors until an hour after Hotaru had gone into the ER.
"What are you doing here Duo? How did you get here?" Herold asked in amazement.
"I told the paramedics that I was Hotaru's brother. She's been in the ER for about an hour now," I informed the doctor. He should have been here the moment that he knew Hotaru was in the hospital. Some help he was.
"Duo you know you aren't allowed out of the clinic in your condition. Come on, we're going home," Herold ordered. He got up and held out his hand to help me up. I shook my head. I wouldn't leave Hotaru for anything, I wouldn't betray another friend.
"Don't force me to sedate you Duo," Herold threatened. I ignored him and got up, seeing that the green haired nurse had come out of the trauma room.
"Hey nurse lady," I called out. "Can I see her now?"
"Yes but don't expect to get to much out of her. Even when the doctors brought her back she wouldn't tell them what had happened," the nurse said. Why does eveyone continuously say that?
I followed the nurse to the room where Hotaru was being kept. "I'll let you talk to her for about an hour but then visiting hours will be over and I will have to give her her medication," the nurse informed me. I nodded to signify that I understood and the candy striper left.
"Hey Hotaru, how ya feeling?" I asked sitting down on the side if her bed.
Hotaru's POV
It was sweet of Duo to follow me, but I didn't want him to see me in my worse state. I turned my head away and was quiet like I had been with the doctors. Duo looked at me with a hurt expression. With my head turned I started to cry silently. I didn't want Duo to be hurt but I didn't want him to waste the rest of his possibly happy life on my problems.
"Why won't you talk to me Hotaru? I'm not a doctor, I'm your fake brother. You can talk to me," Duo said trying to convince me. What he meant by him bring my brother I didn't understand but I still refused to speak to him, hurting myself even more every time.
"Okay you don't have to talk, I'll just stay here and make sure you don't die. For as long as I can anyway, until that lady takes me away. Did you notice that she looks like your friend, Sestuna I think?" Duo said trying to feel the silence. I made no movement to acknowledge what he said was right. I was so tired. I couldn't take it. Maybe just closing my eyes, he wouldn't notice since I wasn't talking anyways. Just a short nap.
Duo's POV
The nurse was right, Hotaru wouldn't talk to me. I was sitting on the bed, watching her, when the monitor stoped beeping and went into a long period ping. I jumped up and went into the hall way. Standing right there was the Sestuna look alike.
"Her monitor..It stopped or something. She's dying," I informed her in a frenzy. She nodded and pressed a com watch to alert the doctor. I stepped out of the way when the rushed into the room. When the door was closed I stayed just long enough to hear the doctor say "I don't think she's going to make it."
I slipped into another empty room. I looked on the steel shelf, finding exactly what I was looking for, the needles. Hotaru was dead, the pilots were dead. Why shouldn't join them? I had never tried acupuncture before but it couldn't be much different from using a kinfe.
I held up my arm and stuck the needle into my arm vien. It hurt and I cringed because I hadn't tried it in a long time, but I started to rememeber the void feeling of nto caring. I kept sticking the needle in and out in different places on my arm. Soon enough my arm was covered in sticky dark blood. I strated on my left arm but my right arm wasn't strong enough to press the needle in.
Being weak and unable to do anymore damage to myself I sat there and waited to blck out like alway7s. Hopefully this time I wouldn't wake up in a hospital bed with IV stuck into me. Why couldn't people just let me die in peace.
Hotaru's POV
I woke up feeling worse then before. I looked to see if Duo had stayed with me like he had promised but he had left. I started to cry again. I had been abandoned once more. But who could blame him really. I didn't talk to him and I had looked like I was already dead.
"Don't cry. I don't like it when you cry, makes your eyes all red and takes the color away from them," a weak voice said next to me behind the curtain. It was Duo, I could tell, but why did he sound so sickly.
"Duo? What happen to you?" I asked.
"Now you're talking to me. Good. I like to hear your voice. You have a nice voice, did you know that?" Duo rambled. I could tell that he was a little 'happy' on the juice that they were giving them.
"What happened Duo?" I asked again.
"I found some nice needles and we had a little party." This was Duo's way of saying he had tried to commit suicide, I imagined.
"Why did you do that Duo?" I persisted with my questions.
Duo sighed and answered. "Because I thought you had died. I thought I could join you. We could chill on the imaginary beach with those tropical drinks and small umbrellas," Duo answered. I gasped lightly when I realized that I had been dead for a few minuets. I had actually successed in killing myself. I had beat the doctors, they had failed in trying to save me from myself. I knew how to take my life without any sharp object. But did I want to anymore. If Duo had tried to kill himself when he found out I was dead wouldn't he be willing to do it again. I didn't want him to die. I...I...loved him....too much to let him cease to live.
Duo's POV
Right now I really hated the seperating curtain. That was the only thing keeping me from seeing Hotaru and telling her how I felt. I could say it right now, under my breath.
"Hotaru, I love you," I said to myself for the 5th time.
But I couldn't say it to Hotaru. You didn't confess your love to a girl when you can't even see her. It was like using the phone. I wish I could just get up, pull back the blind and kiss her. Make her feel like I did, be as happy as I was because I knew that she wasn't dead.
The nurse, who I had now learned was named Puu Sestuna, came into the room. I don't think Hotaru knew that though, she didn't seem so happy to see the woman when she came with medication.
"Hey guys," she greeted kindly. "I heard some talking in here. Maybe I should pull this drape back so you can actually see eachother." Sestuna pulled the drape back just as Hotaru turned her head to me. Was she mad at me for trying to kill myself? Or for talking to her, for even being here?
"I'll be back in a few minuets to unhook you from that IV Duo. This was hardly as bad as you first commitence. Good thing that you couldn't get the needle into your other vien huh?" I nodded, but no longer really sure. If Hotaru hated me then did I really want to live? Why was this all so confusing? So many questions.
"Hotaru, do you hate me now? And if you do, then could you hate me even more if you were looking at me? I want to tell you something but I can't tell you if you're not looking at me," I said clearly. I was being bold but that was probably just the IV provine speaking.
"I don't want you to see me, to pity me," Hotaru said quitely. I was shocked. How could i feel any sort of pity for a girl who was so powerful and strong, and and beautiful.
"Hotaru. Sometimes I think you can be the smartest 15 year old I know, but right now you're acting like the air heads on TV. What would make you ever think I pitied you?"
"Because you were nice to me. Duo, you are the first person to actually treat me like a human and not like a project that needs to be fixed. The only reason I can come up with for why you treat me that way is because you pity me. You're one of those people that Herold told me about, the ones who feel like they have to make everyone happy," Hotaru said with her head still slighty turned away from me.
"Since when have you ever listened to HEROLD? That idiot doesn't know anything if that's what he told you," I told Hotaru.
"Fine then why are you so nice to me? Why, out of all the people in the clinic did you talk to me? Why not Kalley, the heroine addict, or Nick, the kid who thinks that he can fly?!" Hotaru said. She really was clueless about why I had taken my time to look at her pictures or agreed to have the joint session with her. SO much for subtly.
"Because you cray fool. I LOVE you!" There. I had told her, now it was Hotaru's move.
Hotaru's POV
"I love you too Duo," I said so quietly that I, myself could barly hear the words. I couldn't tell Duo though. If Duo found out then we would become close and then I would betray him. I betrayed everyone that got close because that's what it came down to. I couldn't risk the world for the ones I loved, and when Mistress Nine came back that was what would happen. That's what always happened.
"Say something Hotaru. At least tell me why you don't feel the same so I can change," Duo pleaded. He was pleading to me but I couldn't give in. I cared for him too much to give in.
"I love you Duo, but I need you to not love me," I said to him. He looked so confused, but I understood why. Even I didn't get what I was saying. "Duo, come here." I pointed to a spot on my bed. "I'll tell you about my paraelle universe," I invited. I could see in his eyes that he thought I was ready to feel mutual love. It would hurt to break his heart but I had to, right?
I told Duo everything there was to know about the Sailor Senshi, even Amara's allergic reaction to tofu on my 12th birthday. It felt good to remember all the good times I had with my family, as I called them. Then I came to the part where I was poessed by Mistress Nine, and the part where I betrayed my queen and friends. Duo listened and nodded at all the right times. As I told him my story and he made all the comments that I needed to hear, I loved him even more.
"Duo, I love you. I really do and believe me when I say it but I want you to leave. I love you so much that I don't want you to be hurt if Mistress Nine comes back like everyone else was. Do yoiu understand?" I asked.
"I understand Hotaru but I don't care. I'll love you even when you're possessed and even if I do die, I'll wait for you to join me. Don't YOU understand that I love you so much that I don't care?" Duo said trying to convince me. I was going to argue but then the nurse came in adn Duo had to return to his bed.
"Hotaru, I want you to come with me. The doctors want to preform some more tests to decide if you can go home tomorrow. Come on." The nurse came over to my bed to help me up. I leaned on her and then hobbled out of the room.
The candy striper led me to an empty room that had a single white exam table. i pushed myself up on to it and used most of my strength doing so.
"I realized that I haven't told you my name, which is most likly the reason you haven't jumped into my arms. It's me Hotaru, Sestuna," the nurse said. She took off her lab coat to reveal the Sailor Pluto uniform. In the coner was the staff that Sestuna carried with her.
"I thought you were dead," I whispeared, afraid that I was dreaming and that it wasn't real.
"No. I couldn't stop you from destroying our world but I could save the others. I transfered all of them to another time period, another world. I've been looking for you ever since I regained my strength and now I have found you. Now I can take you home. You do want to go home right? Duo will not keep you here?" Sestuna asked, projecting a boy who was sitting in his bed, pondering why I didn't want him.
"No, it will be better if I leave him. Then I won't hurt him if Mistress Nine comes back," I siad, standing up and giving Sestuna a hug. She wrapped me in her arms and then held me out and looked me in the face.
"Mistress Nine was destroyed when you killed yourself. She can't come back either," she informed me. I gasped, why hadn't I realized that?
"Then I don't know. I want to be with Duo more than anything but I want to see the others too," I argued with myself.
"He could come with us. If there' nothing holding him here," Sestuna suggested. My eyes widened. I could actually be happy. I would have my family and the one I loved more than my self. When had life become so kind?
"Really? Duo can come with us? With me?" I asked speechless.
"Yes he could if he wanted," Sestuna said with a smile, glad to see Hotaru happy.
Duo's POV
Hotaru had rejected me in so many ways. No she had not rejected me, she did love me, but too much. Was that possible, since when had love become so complicated? I stared at the light blue ceiling when Hotaru came scampering into the room like a rabbit. She slipped but caught herself on the rail of my bed.
"Duo, come with me,to my world," she demanded before kissing me. i tried to speak but she wouldn't take her lips off mine so I just gave up and kissed back. Hotaru climbed up onto my bed to become more comfortable.
I held her small body in my arms before pushing Hotaru away. "What do you mean? Come to your world?" I asked.
"The nurse. You were right, it was Sestuna. She's been looking for me to take me home. She said you could come if you wanted. PLease come and be happy with me Duo," Hotaru begged, looking at me with eyes filled with stars.
"Ofcourse I will Hotaru. Ofcourse I will," I agreed. Hotaru smiled and kissed me again.
----------------------In the future, about 2 year in the future to say exactaly--------------------
Duo pulled out a tattered red note book filled with drawings of the Sailor Senshi. He flipped through it and found what he was looking for. He tore out the last picture and put it in a dark purple envolope. He slipped it into his back pocket before climbing into the limo.
At 7:30 pm the limo arrived at the Momoe household and outside, sitting on the swing was a skinny girl. Duo looked at Hotaru and thought of how beautiful she looked. Hotaru's atire was a long, dark purple sleeve less dress that trailed alittle behind her. As a cover she had a black knit coat that went to the ground, perfect for the only slightly nippy weather of California.
"You look wonderful," Duo complimented, taking Hotaru's hand in his.
"Thank. You don't look so bad yourself," Hotaru said with a slight hint a happiness in her voice. Duo breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that Hotaru just wanted to have fun like him.
The two seated them selfs in the limo and the shafuer drove them to the local highschool where the two were greeted warmly at the homecoming dance. Near the stage was the table for the head cheerleader and foortball player. Duo and Hotaru took their seats before Brittney, the social planner, made announcements.
"And finally I would like to present the Homecoming king and queen. Duo Maxwell and Hotaru Tomoe. Come up here you guys," Brittney called down to the couple who were just as surprised as everyone else was not. But ofcourse no one else knew of their past which involved anything but homecoming achivements.
Duo and Hotaru walked on the stage and excepted their crowns, which meant more to them then anyone knew. After the Inner Senshi thanked Hotaru, Duo took her outside to talk.
"We've come far haven't we?" Duo inquired, pointing to the circlet the was on his head.
"Yeah from not wanting to live to, I guess, wanting to. That's a big step," Hotaru said, taking a seat on the swing on the play ground.
"Herold would have been proud,"Duo said.
"Yeah. I kinda wished I had taken something to remember that place by," Hotaru said to herself.
"Why ever, my fair lady, would you want to remember that horrid place?" Duo asked in his best british accent.
"Because that is where I met you, my rpince," Hotaru said, kissing Duo quicly on the lips.
"Oh well then I have something you might want. To my one and only I give this," Duo said. He held out the black envolope that he had found earlier. Hotaru took it and opened it with a long nail. Inside was a picture that brought back so many good memories that Hotaru began to cry.
"Where did you get it?" Hotaru asked.
"That's my seacret," Duo said playfully. Hotaru swatted at him but then ended up hugging Duo hard around the middle.
In Hotaru's hand was a picture of Sailor Saturn with the title that Duo had scribbled on it. 'My lady in black'.