The Fall Out
It was a sadistic kind of torture when you thought about it: compelling him to feed from her, albeit unsuccessfully, then ripping away his humanity only to cast him as protector after all was done. After everything he'd done to prevent it, how hard he'd fought, how hard they'd fought... it made a mockery of what they'd shared together, the intimacy they had, everything they'd built together... He would have protected her to his own death and she knew it. But now... as much as it hurt, she couldn't imagine what this must have done to him... compelled to act as guardian after being forced to hurt her...
Tears sprang to Elena's eyes once again. She'd never imagined a day when things would be over between them. She'd never wanted them to be. Stefan was hers completely and she was his. She'd never considered the possibility that he'd ever just leave, but he had... and though she knew why she wished every day that none of this had ever happened, that they could just live their lives in peace, together. But now... Stefan was gone.
Three days later she could still see him vividly as he slammed into the wall of the gym shouting at her to run and run she did, straight into Klaus who'd dragged her into the cafeteria where Stefan stood self impaled and desperate. He'd fought to the very end as hard as he could, but it wasn't enough...
"I have other plans for your boyfriend..."
That's what Klaus had said the night of the sacrifice, right before killing Jenna... oh Jenna... tears streamed down Elena's face at the memory... she'd consoled herself that it had been quick, that she hadn't suffered long, but it still hurt every day... she gazed at the photos surrounding her mirror, all the people she'd lost... all but Stefan... and now... he was gone too... the ache in her chest was almost overpowering. He'd given up everything for her and Damon. His humanity was the only thing he'd been hanging onto... all for her...
"I owe you everything, because through all this, you are the one thing that has kept me from giving it up, from turning it all off..."
Elena touched the bandage over her still throbbing neck, wincing slightly... only she really understood the significance of all of this. Damon didn't understand, Bonnie and Caroline... she knew they just wanted her to move on, though they'd never say it, probably Jeremy and everybody else did too... she was the only one who really knew what Klaus had done to Stefan...
"...I am so terrified that one day I'm not gonna want to fight that anymore Elena... and the next time I hurt someone... it could be you."
She was the only one who knew just how much hurting people killed Stefan. Every part of him suffered, wracked in guilt and shame over everything he'd done. That night at the quarry he'd been so close to ending it all, she'd seen it all over him, she'd felt his pain so raw and overpowering... and now the very thing he'd been so afraid of doing had become a reality... but it wasn't his choice.
Elena took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing herself to stop crying. She had to get up and out of the house. She didn't want to think about the plans Klaus had for Stefan right now, she didn't want to think about how screwed they all were or the fact that she was Klaus' human blood bag. Whatever Klaus had planned, she couldn't do anything about it right now. She'd spent enough time in her room crying over this. Right now she needed to find a way to protect herself. With Stefan's humanity off there was no telling what he could do. She didn't have the luxury of grieving any longer. She had to move on in any way she could, for Jeremy, for Alaric, for herself.
If Stefan couldn't fight then she would fight for him. He'd hurt her, yes, but she knew that wasn't him. He was better than this and she wasn't going to let this happen to him. She had to find a way to bring him back. She was going to find a way. If it was the last thing she did, she was going to get Stefan back to his humanity.
Elena went to the bathroom and washed her face clean of tears, letting the cool water calm and soothe her. She gazed at herself in the mirror, iron clad determination taking over. If she was going to do this, she needed help. She went to her dresser, picked up her phone and dialed Rick's number. It nearly rang out but he finally answered, sounding groggy and obviously hung over. "Hello..."
"Hey Rick, it's Elena... listen, I need your help."