Mysterious Figure Chapter 1: When I'm gone, a stargate: sg-1 fanfic

The beeping of the telephone interrupted her thoughts, and for a moment she considered just ignoring it. She was standing leaning against the frame of her office floor to ceiling window overlooking the city. It was raining outside and the drops were hitting the window and sliding down into oblivion. She sighed when the telephone beeped again and she growled in annoyance and went to answer it.

"Chaval here what do you want? "

"Sorry Miss Chaval, but Janet Fraiser is here to see you maam."

Solina gave pause, Was she really ready to see her again?

"OK David, give me a minute to collect my notes and I will come out and get her."

"Yes maam."

Taking a deep breath and running her hands through her black hair she sighed. You see, Solina Chaval was not this tall Amazons real name. Her real name? Well her real name was a matter of myth and legend. She had her business name and it suited her well. She was a self made billionare and all she cared about was the women outside her office doors. She allowed herself to let her mind wander where it never did, where she never let it.

It had been two days after a particularly hard off world mission, She stood in General Hammond's office. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her.

"You sure Captain Carter?"

"Yes sir, its time."

"You know you'll never be able to tell anyone?"

"Sir I watched one of our best men and one of my closest friends get brutally stabbed to death, sir with all due respect this war has taken all I can offer. I've saved Earth many times, lost a lot of good friends, I'm done."

"Then so be it carter, it will be arranged. The seals would love to have you for this final mission."

"Thank you sir."

As Samantha Carter turned to go General Hammond stopped her with a soft spoken gentle calling of her name.

"Samantha."

"Sir?"

"Tie up your loose ends." At her raised eyebrow he chuckled gently. "Fraiser, say goodbye, you leave for your mission in twenty four hours. Remember Carter, she can never know until she leaves the Air force. I'll ruin you both, should you ever tell her, but say goodbye. O h and Sam I expect you to consult once you are gone Carter. Remake yourself Carter. "

Carter raised an eyebrow and nodded a small smile appearing on her face.

"Yes sir."

She made her way down the hallway to her lab knowing she needed to wrap up a few things. Stepping into her lab she leaned back in her chair and let her thoughts wander. She rubbed her temple, she knew she would have a hard time, she had always known, but what was she to do? She could do nothing while in the airforce and Cassie. She wanted them to be apart of her life, all of it, family, friends. Janet was her mate, she was in love with her and with the airforce she couldn't do that. Sighing she picked up her laptop and began working, composing al etter to the one she desperately loved. When she was done she went and dropped the note in General Hammond's office, he nodded and she submitted her formal resignation, just for the record you understand. She made her way for one of the last times through the base, getting lost in her thoughts her feet too her unbiddingly to the medical lab. She looked up when she almost ran into the door. A small smile appeared on her face as she steeled herself and headed into the medical lab. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes preparing herself for rejection. She marched into the medical lab, passed the surprised staff and taking another deep breath she knocked softly on the office door of the CMO. She heard a come in and popped her head around the corner. Janet smiled.

"Sam. What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk, got a few mintues?"

"Yeah for sure."

"mind if I draw the curtains?"

Sam contemplated in her mind her next move as she drew the blinds leaving the women in complete and total privacy. She had crappy timing, but if things played out she would only be gone for awhile. She growled silently an Eminem song playing through her mind.

Cursing silently to herself she sat on the couch and studied the woman she loved. Janet had a smile on her face and seeming to notice her contemplation raised an eyebrow. The two women had become good friends over the years working for the stargate program, hell they had been raising Cassandra together. Seeing the serious look of concern, and.. pain that crossed Sam's face made janet's smile fade and concern filled her face.

"Sam?"

Samantha Carter found herself tongue tied at the look crossing her loves face. Tears unbendingly formed in her eyes as she studied the woman before her. She was a big bad air force officer that could take on any threat and couldn't even muster the courage to tell Janet the truth.

"Janet.." Her voice cracked as she leaned forward and linked her fingers together. Janet studied her friend and gently getting up went to sit next to her friend. Sam stopped her with a raised hand. "I have something to tell.. Ah hell." Growling gently to herself she got up quickly and backing Janet up against a wall she pinned Janet against it her entire body molding to the smaller woman's. Janet looked up at her with confusion and watched as Sam seemed mesmerized by her, studying her.

"Sam?"

Samantha watched as Janet's lips formed her name and then gently caressing Janet's cheek she ducked her head she brushed her lips over Janets' as she gently whispered 'its just easier to show you'. It was heaven on Earth, at first Janet was shocked but when the soft lips came in contact with hers again she bit back a moan. Janet unsure of what to make of the situation found her desire surface, the one she had held in check for so many years. She felt the tentative kiss and then another follow it, then looking up meeting Sam's blue eyes she pulled the Captain's head close to hers and kissed her throwing protocol out the window. She felt Sam whimper as her lips claimed the captains. She heard the groan from deep within Sam as she gently ran her tongue along Carter's lips asking for access. Sam granted it and a gentle exploration began. Janet's mind was going into overload, this was her best friend, this shouldn't be normal. Friends don't do this, yet she felt herself get lost in the soft sighs, the gentle pressure of the lips on hers, the tongue gently exploring her mouth and she relaxed into it. Ignoring and pushing her thoughts aside she felt Sam release her arms and twined them around her friends neck as she felt Sam's arms go around her waist as she was pulled even tighter into Sam's body. She heard her name whispered like a prayer from the blond's lips as she was kissed very thoroughly again. When air became necessary Sam pulled back and rested her forehead against Janet's. Both women were breathing rapidly.

"Samantha Carter what was that? Not that I am complaining, but I can't do games."

Sam's eyes were closed as she leaned her forehead against Janet's and whispered the words Janet had always wanted to hear from Samantha's lips.

" Its not a game Janet. I love you Janet as more than a friend, I love you and want you it hurts. You're the first thought I wake up to and the last one I have before I go to bed. I've always loved you I think, it just took me awhile to realize it."She paused smiling at the slight mussed up look and the very kissable lips which were now swollen from her kisses, she smiled and caressed Janet's cheek. " Gods, I've wanted to do that for so long, to hold you like this, the be able to run my hands up and down your body and whisper how much I love you, to kiss you." Her head ducked again and she kissed Janet again. Janet moaned soflty and returned the soft kiss. Blue clashed with hazel as her eyes opened when the kiss ended. They studied each other for a long moment and then Sam gently whispered. "Say something."

Janet smiled gently.

"I love you to Samantha Carter. Come home with me tonight, come have dinner, spend time with Cassie and let's talk, in the meantime I need to get some work done."

Samantha nodded and ran her thumb over Janet's bottom lip. Janet without thinking took the digit in her mouth and sucked gently, fascinated at Sam's eyes darkening. Sam mumbled a simple 'in a minute' before claiming Janet's lips again, pushing the smaller woman into the wall again. Janet' felt a familiar tingling in between her legs as she felt herself fully pinned up against the wall, instinctually she lifted her legs and locked them around Sam's waist as their kiss became more intense. Sam growled gently as she felt the legs lock around her waist her hands coming on either side of Janet's head as they made out like a couple of teenagers, Sam was careful to keep her hands on the wall though they itched to touch the body of the woman she loved. She felt Janet gently slip her hands into Sam's uniform and sighed as she felt the touch she had longed for. Just as the hand strayed close to her breast she stopped it with a her own hand and broke their kiss.

"Not here love." Seeing the confusion and hurt Sam smiled and brushed her hand against Janet's face a gentle laugh escaping her lips. "Oh I want you Janet fraiser have no doubt about that. I want to make you scream my name. Want to hear you whimper because of my touch. I want you janet, in every way, but not here not now, not like this. I want you baby, but not here not now."

Janet nodded as she felt Sam pull away gently letting her down but gathered her in her arms, holding her close. Janet pushed away gently knowing that if she didn't she never would get her work done and most likely her couch in her office would never be the same. Straightening her clothes she watched as Sam did the same, her hand strayed to her face as she gently caressed Sam's cheek. Leaning forward she gently kissed Sam again. Sam smiled into the kiss and stepped away quickly.

"tonight my love, tonight." Dropping her voice she smiled at her. "if we start again I won't want to stop baby and this is not a place we should christen like that. I'll come get you."

At five o'clock sharp Sam poked her head into Janet's office only to see the coy mischievous smile and hear the professional words.

"Come in Captain Carter we need to talk for a moment."

Sam walked into the office and found herself gently plastered against the door and the lock slid silently into place and Janet looked into her eyes.

"I have one question Captain Carter." Her voice was a deep velvet timber and sam felt her heart begin to race.

Sam had wrapped her arms around the smaller woman pulling her into her body. She looked down and gently kissed Janet's nose.

"And what would that be Dr. Frasier."

Janet looked up into the blue orbs getting lost in them for a moment before reaching up and caressing Samantha's cheek. Standing on her tiptoes she brushed her lips across Sam's.

"Please tell me this afternoon wasn't a dream."

Sam tightened her grip and answered her by kissing her again her passion for the smaller woman coming through as her tongue immediately entered Janet's mouth. Janet whimpered softly and pushed her beloveds tongue back. Sam growled and pulled her closer ravishing Janet her hands coming and entangling in the brunette locks. When oxygen was needed Sam pulled back gazing into the hazel eyes.

"it wasn't a dream. I love you Janet."

"I love you to Samantha Carter."

"Come on Love lets go to the house and grab some pizza, Cass is probably starving, crazy college student."

They had spent the evening together, laughing, eating pizza and enjoying time with Cassandra. When Cassie had gone to bed, Janet had gotten up cleaned the dishes and Sam had walked in behind her, put her arms around Janet's waist and danced with her, enjoying the feeling of her love pressed up against her. Janet moved her hand and cupped Sam's neck and then craning her neck she kissed the tall blond amazon. Sam returned it her hands splaying out against the toned stomach. Pulling Janet as close as she could then turned her around backed her into the counter and continued kissing her. Janet moaned when she felt the hands splayed across her back move down to her bottom squeeze gently and pull her closer.

Sam snapped herself out of the moment and sighed. She hadn't stayed the night, knowing well that she was leaving the next day and mentally kicking herself on her timing. She told Janet that she was going to be back, and she was, just not as she wanted. Sighing she pushed away from the window and walked out into the lobby.

Janet put on her professional smile when she heard her name called. Turning around saw the taller dark and drop dead gorgeous woman walk into the lobby. She had black hair that was about her jawline, blond highlights accenting and that smile. Her blue eyes pierced Janet and the smile made her heart ache. The woman met her gaze unafraid and spoke soflty.

"My name is Solaina Chaval." Her smile widened and deepened as Janet continued to stare at her. When she spoke there was laughter in her voice. There was amusment in her eyes and her heart raced, she still had that affect on her love. She spoke softly breaking the silence. "I understand that you have a proposal for me? "

Janet nodded trying to find her voice, as it was swiftly taken away by the woman standing before her. Shaking her head she took the hand extended her. Sam watched the woman she loved and smiled at the effect she had on the smaller woman. Her hand was grasped by Janet and electric shock coursed through Janet's hand. No one's touch had felt that way since Sam, shaking her head she smiled and looked at the woman.

"My name is Dr. Janet Fraisier, I understand you have funds you are possibly willing to give."

Sam nodded. She motioned to the tall double doors of her office.

"Yes, I do have some of those, why don't we go into my office and we can talk about it?"

Janet nodded and immediately began walking towards the office, sam looked at david, and raised a threatening eyebrow, her voice deepening in timber.

"Postpone all my meetings, hold all calls, this needs my full attention."

"Yes Maam."

The two women sat locked up in the office for several hours and at the end of it Janet smiled and shook Solina's hand.

"I look forward to working on this project with you."

Solina nodded a broad smile covering her features.

"As do I, today was just the beginning we will need you out here much more Dr. Frasier, of course all expenses are paid by us and you will be gaining a consultants fee."

Janet smiled.

'Sounds good."

They parted ways and Solina watched Janet until she was out of the office and then turned back to her office nad closed the door.

Striding over to the window Sam leaned up against it with a sigh. It was still raining outside, though inside she was slightly happier, she loved that woman. Gods that was hard. Her cell phone rang and she answered it.

"Chaval."

"Hi mom."

Sam relaxed at the sound of her daughters voice.

"Hi baby."

"How was it?"

Sam growled into the phone.

"One of the hardest dam things I've ever done. Cass, I'm still in love with her. It was rather anticlimactic."

"She didn't see it was you?"

Sam sighed.

"I dunno babe, she stared at me for a good two minutes. You're right she's really been toning that body of hers."

Cassie laughed.

"Please tell me you didn't drool?"

"Of course not. I was professional."

Cassie made an approving noise over the phone and then spoke softly.

"She may have just been so caught up in the excitement that she forgot mom. Don't take it personally. I mean its not everyday a drop dead gorgeous billionare whose a former love offers you all your dreams on a platter, and herself if it comes up."

Samantha laughed.

"I didn't take it personally Cass. Though I never expected you to figure it out as quickly as you did."

Cassie laughed.

"I'll be out in a few weeks."
Sam smiled.

"Just give me a date baby, I'll send my jet plane after you."

Cassie laughed.

"Send mom home in that."

"Not yet baby girl not yet."

"All right Mom I love you, I will talk to you soon. See you soon I hope."

"Ok babe, I miss you."

"Miss you to mom. Love you lots to."

" Love you baby. Hey hug your mom for me when you pick her up."

"I have for two years Sam, but she wants you to. Tell her soon."

"You know I can't until she leaves the mountain babe."

"I know but I think that time is coming soon with you presenting her with the head of all medical. "

"I'll put her as the head of anything she wants, she can be the wife of a philanthropic person for all I care, I just want her here in my arms with me and as long as you take the head of pediatrics I think we can pull this off."

"Just give me a date and I'll tender my resignation."

"Anytime you want to leave Cass."

"When the building done?"

"two months tops, your mom loved the building you and I picked out. We just need to remodel it."

"Then I'll be out there officially in a month. I gotta go though Mom I am on call and my pager just went off."

"Ok Babe I love you"

"love you to Mom. Need me to come up for the weekend?"

Sam laughed.

"Yeah come on up, send the jet plane after you."

"Sweet!"

Sam closed her cell phone and turned back to her desk and collapsing in her oversized chair she turned on her itunes and listened to the lyrics of Eminem, knowing she felt exactly the same way. Her words formed the rapped words, it feeling like she was ripping her heart out. She felt like she had done this to Cassandra and Janet.

"Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby... "

Tears began to fall down her face as she rapped the words along with Eminem. She watched in her minds eyes as she had missed out on so many moments with Janet and Cassie, she growled to heself.

"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back..."

She rapped the words that spoke so deeply into her soul, they expressed her fears. Just one more time, one more mission she remembered the mentality, she confessed her love and then she left. And now she found herself singing the words to an Eminem song. She stood and walked over to the window singing the second verse.

"I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing..."

Sam wiped her tears, reaching out and touching the fading window image of the woman she loved.

"one more chance baby. One more chance."

The last verse came on and it was like a knife into Sam's gut.

"Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

When I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn.."

Sam growled as she heard the last few chords of the song. "beautiful" came on nad she walked over to her computer sitting in for a long night of work to get the finances and proposal in place. The phone rang an hour later and she answered.