Dear Mercedes,

I do not know how to start of this letter. It seems like for the past few months I have went back and forth in my head on whether to write you or not. So much time has passed and maybe it is just too late to rebuild what we once had. But I have heard that it is never too late if it is something you truly want or need to say.

Good Friends just like real love is hard to find and I did not understand what that meant until the I lost your friendship. Living here in this big city all alone can be frigid sometimes without someone to connect and confide in. Do not get me wrong through, I love the city from the magnificent lights, food , culture and people are quite enticing.

I find myself getting caught up in time square as I watch local dancers tell stories with their movements. I have spent many days and nights standing on the Brooklyn bridge over-looking the Hudson river dreaming about the future. When I will stand backstage and watch models wear my designs and see fans and critics faces light

up from excitement of knowing they are looking at the next big thing. 'Oh my god Cedes just imagine how incredible it would the show would be and how overjoyed I would be. They like my clothes, they believe in them and most importantly people want to buy them and make them their own.

Or maybe I will be at the Oscars/Tonys and I am sitting in the audience where a dashing Alexander McQueen suit sitting next to all kinds of a list actors and actresses and then all of a sudden they call my name. 'Ah' , I would be a complete and utter mes, blubbering and trying to calm my fast beating heart as I name all my thank-yous.

Although it all seems cold and dull if you are not there to hold my hand. My dad and Carol would drop everything and fly in to watch me accept my award and cheer me on. Finn would stand tall with that big goofy smile and say ' I am proud of you bro, this awesome, congrats' then pull me into one of his huge bear hugs.

But where are you? Would you take the time to watch the program on tv, to read the article about me printed in Vogue? I would not blame you one bit if you choose not to. You deserve to focus on yourself, let people know what the music industry has been missing for so many years. I have a good feeling you are your voice are

going to save and heal many broken lives. All it will take is just one time for your soothing yet powerful voice to hit the air waves and listeners will be blown like I was when we all sung 'Gold-digger' in glee club.

I should not make this letter any longer than it has to be, if you have not figured it out already 'I miss you'! I miss our late night phone calls where we would gossip and tell each other our secrets, our random banter that only you and I understood and our ability to simply look at each other and know how the other felt. You were probably will always be one the few people who really gets me and understands what I am about. I am sorry for allowing myself to forget the strong bond we once shared. I should have never let Rachel call herself my soul-mate when everyone knows it is truly you.

Lovers come and go out of some people's lives like quicksand. True friends are suppose to be forever, even through the bad times. I let myself forget and we let our pride make us ignore how short life can be. Maybe if we had keep that in mind, we may have found us again, but the cordial us, the real one. It makes no sense to start pointing the finger at who did this and who did that because that never gets anyone anywhere.

Just know in this crazy world that tries to limit us to labels and stereotypes. ' you are black, I'm gay and together we will ALWAYS make culture!' You automatically had me at fabulous hat but I decided to let go and I honestly could not tell you why I did.

With much love

Kurt