Her head is pounding.
Drinking because you're rebellious? Not something Emma should have done, because she's in a brightly lit restaurant for lunch and holy shit, she has a massive headache.
"Rough night?"
Emma almost jumps out of her skin. "Fuck, Elsa, make some noise next time."
Elsa snickers and sits across from Emma, and before she can quip back, Ruby and Mulan walk through the door and plop down at their table, Mulan beside Emma and Ruby beside Elsa.
"So," Ruby starts and Emma groans. "No, I took what you said last night -"
"What did I say?" Emma asks suspiciously.
Ruby and Elsa look at her curiously and Emma's brain starts to go crazy. What could she have said?
"You said that you were a lesbian," Elsa began slowly, "and that on top of feeling like you can't come out, you're also sick of being in control of everything in your life except your sexuality."
Of course. Of fucking course Emma came out to her best friends while drunk. "I'm-I do-"
"Save it," Mulan says. "Trust me, I know repression when I see it."
Emma's face is red. Beat red. She can feel it and she fights the urge to hide her face in a curtain of her hair because these are her best friends and she's ashamed to come out to them.
"We'll save the talk about you being a lesbian for later," Elsa says softly and Emma lets out a sigh of relief.
She forces her tears away and looks at Ruby.
"So, what did you do? And will I be pissed?"
Ruby shrugs. "Probably." She reaches into her pocket and gives her a slip of paper. It
has a name, Regina Mills, and a number underneath it.
"Who's Regina Mills?"
"She's a Dominatrix."
If Emma was drinking water at this exact moment, there would've been a spit take.
"I'm sorry, it sounded like you said -"
"A Dominatrix," Ruby repeats.
Emma clears her throat and looks down at the name, traces the pad of her thumb over the harsh lines. "And why... how... why do you have the name and number of a Dominatrix?" Does she even want to know the answer?
"I used to see her."
Emma looks at Elsa and Mulan, who look less shocked but still shocked.
"Was she good?" Elsa asks, as if she can't help herself. She probably can't, and Emma's kinda happy that the other blonde got to the question first.
"Amazing," Ruby almost purrs, as if remembering something distinctly. "She's probably one of the hottest women I've ever seen. And she has this voice."
Emma swallows thickly, trying not to imagine a beautiful faceless figure with a whip in her hand.
"She's trained and she's really good at her job," Ruby continues. "She's thorough, she's patient and she's talented. She treats sex and domination like an art."
Emma's hands ball into fists underneath the table, on her lap, as she tries to stop the onslaught of visuals in her mind. Both of Ruby in a submissive position and another woman dominating her.
"Ruby," Emma says slowly. "I was drunk."
"Yes, but Emma, we all have yes. We knew you were gay before you did," Mulan says gently.
"And every time you're drunk you bitch about wanting to lose control just for a little while because your life as a rich girl is too stressful," Ruby adds with an eyeroll.
Emma's not sure what she looks like but she's probably looking like she's about to burst into tears at any second.
Which is why Elsa jumps in and says, "if it helps, it's not like we're straight," she says, and it almost makes Emma feel worse because why wouldn't she tell them when this is true?
"I know," she mumbles. "But I'm…" She pauses. "Elsa, you're not out to your family except Elsa either. And your parents never see you, Mulan."
"We know," Ruby cuts in. "But your parents love you. And… well, you're twenty six. It's not like you're a teenager. You're close to thirty." She smirks. "I've known you were gay for years. But it's not my place to out you."
Emma manages a watery smile.
"So, I should really go see her?"
"I went to her when I was figuring out who I was too," Ruby says. "About three years ago for six months."
Three years ago was when Ruby came out to her. It all makes sense.
"Does it hurt?"
"Of course," Ruby says, as if it were obvious. "But she's skilled and there are rules she abides by."
Emma nods dumbly.
"No one can know about any of this," she says. "Especially my parents and Ki-" Oh, god. Killian. "Please tell me I didn't do what I did last year and call Killian?"
Elsa shakes her head. "No, you didn't. Although last year you two were together. You're off this year, it's pretty much a biyearly pattern."
"At least now we know why," Mulan cracks. "Don't worry, when I hung around with Philip I just assumed it was because I liked him and not because I was in love with Aurora."
The other three women start chuckling, and then the atmosphere gets serious.
"Call Regina," Ruby prods. "She likes to set up meetings before...playtime…" Emma blushes at the word. "It'll give you two room to talk and for you to open up. This could be really good for you. Submission can do wonders for your psyche if you constantly feel the need to lose control."
"Thanks, Doctor Phil," Emma snarks, although there's no real bite to her words.
Something about dialing the number of a Dominatrix while in her parents estate is both arousing and terrifying, but Emma does it anyway. It's been two days since she got the number and this is probably the ninetieth time she's tried to call.
She almost hangs up after the third ring but when she hears a throaty, "hello?" she thinks better of it.
"H-hi," Emma stammers. There's a pause, as if Regina knows that Emma needs a moment of composure. "I got your number from a friend of mine. Uh, an ex… client… of yours. Ruby Lucas." Emma's out of breath by time she finishes her sentence.
"Miss Lucas," Regina says, and her voice sounds almost fond. "And who am I talking to?"
"Um, Emma Swan," Emma says quickly after a moment.
"Miss Swan."
Emma's heart hammers. Can a voice really arouse one person so much? Emma doesn't even know how this woman looks but, shit, she's already turned on.
"And what is your reasoning for calling me, Miss Swan?"
Emma takes another moment before answering. "I, uh. I'm in this… life… where I don't get to live out of control of my actions," Emma says after a moment. "That probably sounds stupid but like, I'm in control of everything and I just don't want to be."
"You're looking to be a submissive, then," Regina says, her voice soft and so, so deep.
"Yes." Emma swallows thickly, probably loud enough that Regina can hear.
She hears a rustle on the other end of the phone.
"We can meet up for dinner some time this coming week and we can discuss what this means. How does this sound, Miss Swan?"
"Yes." She's eager, so eager. She coughs to try to hide it and deepens her voice a little bit. "Uh, yes."
"Is the number you called me on your cellphone number?"
"Yes."
More rustling. "I'll send you a text message with the address and the date." Not a question, and is Emma getting more aroused?
"Yes, that sounds great."
"Good. I'll be seeing you soon, Miss Swan."
And then she's gone, and fuck. Did Emma seriously just set up a date with a fucking Dominatrix?
"I called her," she says to Ruby as they walk through the backyard of Emma's estate. Ruby doesn't say anything, as if she expected this was why Emma called her here. "What's she like?"
Ruby smiles a little. "She's… it's hard to describe her. You can tell she takes her craft seriously. Ironically, she's one of the most patient lovers I've ever had. And her specialty is pushing limits."
"What does that mean?"
"Before we started we had a sit down. A thorough conversation of what I'm into, what I'd like to try, and what I'm firmly against. The list of what I don't want she never brought up again. I changed my mind about one thing and I was the one to bring the topic up. It's like she stores it in a drawer with a lock that only I had the key to." There's a faint blush on her cheeks.
Emma stuffs her hands into her pockets. "What does she look like?"
"She's tall...ish? Maybe your height, but she wears heels. All the time. Brown hair to her shoulders, deep brown eyes. Tan skin. I was seated outside her playroom once while she was on the phone in the other room and I heard her speaking Spanish."
Emma swallows as she tries to paint a picture. If someone's hot by Ruby's standards then Emma is certainly prepared to be impressed.
"She… well, she's never in playmode before we touch foot in her playroom. And during the scene she'll check in and ask where I'm at and if I'm okay."
"What kind of stuff did you like?" Emma can't help but ask this, because she's so fucking curious about this whole thing.
"I'm a loud, dominant person," she says matter-of-factly, and true. "But I wanted to see what it was like to be at someone else's mercy. And she was phenomenal."
Emma nods again, head bobbing. "How did you get her number?"
"I, uh, hooked up with a guy that used to be one of her clients and we ended up being friends and one night he told me about her and forwarded her number."
"She takes male and female clientele?"
Ruby shrugs. "I guess so. That shouldn't bother you, right?"
"No, of course not," she assures her. "Not at all."
"Anyway. I can't tell you what I liked and didn't. I don't want to sway what you feel you want to try and accomplish with her."
Emma almost laughs. "You sound like an infomercial," she jokes.
"I'd be willing to go onto live television and recommend her to everybody."
"She's that good, huh?"
Ruby waggles her eyebrows and hushes her voice to a stage whisper. "I didn't know I could squirt before her."
"Oh, god," Emma says with a groan. "Did not need to know that about my foster sister, thanks."
Ruby just chuckles in response and they walk quietly for a few minutes.
"When are you meeting her?"
"Tomorrow night. She sent me a text with an address and the time," she says. "What will happen on this dinner?"
"Just scoping each other out," she says. "What we did was we talked a bit about what I wanted and how she could help. And then we set up another date to talk about limits, legalities and payments."
Emma's eyebrows shot up because, shit, she forgot about payment. Not like it'll be an issue.
"And it varies," she answers before Emma can even ask. "She'll give you a full rundown of her operation."
Emma nods again and she begins to feel a headache form in the middle of her eyes and something shoot into her stomach. Oh, god, she's nervous.
"It'll be okay, Emma." Ruby links her arm into Emma's. "I promise. She'll do you a lot of good. Who knows, maybe you'll like it so much you'll become her in-house sub."
It's meant as a joke, she's sure of it, but Emma's insides twist again at the implication of possibly belonging to a stranger sexually for the rest of her life. She's not sure if it's a good or bad type of feeling. A mixture.
"And don't try too hard," Ruby warns. "If she feels like anything you say is fake or like you're hiding something, she'll deny you. I almost lost my change with her when I tried to be different than I was to impress her. She doesn't care about that."
"Good to know."
The sinking in her stomach stays put and she's not sure she'll even be able to get out of bed the next day to go out on this… date? Dinner. Thing.
But she will, because if there's one thing she's not, it's a coward.