A/N: Hi there! I can't believe you actually clicked on this but okay. I kind of just had fun with it so it's not written as well as it could be, but whatever. Anyway, it's a Romeo and Juliet parody with Otayuri as the main couple.
Just a things before you start: characters may seem very OOC (but it's kind of to match the tone), the plot is based off the original but goes on and off so it's not completely the same, and it is set in kingdom of Verona (similar to the original play). Also, as for ages, the older generation (mid and late 20s to early 30s) consists of Yuri, Viktor, Chris, Sala, and Georgi. The younger generation (late teens to early 20s) consists of Yurio, Otabek, Leo, Guang Hong, Seung-gil, Phichit, Michele, and JJ.
If you've never even read Romeo and Juliet the story might be a lil weird but I hope you like it. Enjoy!
Act I, Scene I
"God, how I hate those Montagues with every bone in my body." Takeshi muttered under his breath as he shoved his way through the marketplace crowd. As if to mock his earlier statement, his eyes met those of a very Montague.
Takeshi grinned as he sauntered over the side of the market where Emil was standing. He flipped him off, "Nice beard."
Emil immediately took notice and raised a brow. "You dare raise your middle finger and mock my beard?!"
"Me? Of course not, sir. I simply raised my middle finger. And as for your mustache, I think it looks great." Takeshi sniggered.
"You flipped me off, you damn Capulet."
"I did nothing of the sort!"
"And you insulted my beard!"
"I really didn't!"
Emil narrowed his eyebrows and placed a hand on his weapon. "Look, I've dealt with the disrespect of too many men of the Capulet household. Grovel on your knees and beg for mercy or suffer a blow. What will it be?"
"I think this is progressing rather quickly. Don't you think?"
"You were asking for a fight when you had the nerve to insult me like that. Now take out your weapon or apologize on the behalf of all Montagues!"
"As if I would do disrespect on my household." Takeshi shook his head before drawing his sword. "Come at me!"
Just before the two could fight, a voice yelled out at them. "Stop this immediately!" Leo Montague warned, his own sword drawn as well.
"Another Montague," Takeshi sneered with distaste. "You're telling me to stop this fight?"
"Yes, yes," Leo said hurriedly. "Let's not do this foolish sort of thing. It's unnecessary."
"He disrespected all Montagues! Lemme at him!" Emil screeched.
"I only complimented your awful facial hair! Truthfully, the very sight of it offends all Capulets!" Takeshi yelled back.
Emil let out an enraged battle cry some sorts. He raised his weapon to attack, only to be stopped by another sword.
"What's the meaning of this?" Seung-gil Capulet coldly asked, glaring at Leo and Emil.
"I'm trying to break up this fight." Leo explained sheepishly.
"Of course." Seung-gil looked at Leo's sword and unsheathed his own. "You have your weapon drawn. Are you sure you're not mistaken?"
"Just, just please put up your sword. Please, Seung-gil."
"Don't try to make peace, hypocrite. If you're a man, sword drawn and all, you'll fight!" Seung-gil shouted angrily before engaging in fierce blow after blow with Leo.
A full blown scuffle had resulted after that, with crowds of men from each house striking each other with their weapons. Soon enough, the word had reached the leaders of both households.
Viktor Capulet had dressed in his armor, his long sword in hand. Yuri followed after him, begging him not a join the brawl.
"Viktor, let it go. It's not worth it to go out and fight."
Viktor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He placed that same hand on his husband's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm not going to let him dishonor us like this. It's time I stand up for our household."
"Then let me come as well." Yuri reached for his armor, but Viktor grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly.
"No. You don't need to see this."
"Viktor!" Yuri cried out in exasperation.
"I'm sorry, love. I won't be gone for long." Viktor promised and mounted his horse before galloping off.
When he got to the marketplace, he was truly dismayed by the scene of men fighting like there was no tomorrow. He made a mistake in averting his gaze forward where he made eye contact with his most hated enemy.
"Chris…" Viktor breathed out angrily.
Chris's expression had also turned furious as soon as he had seen Viktor. For a moment, everything else seem to suspend in time, and the only thing left were the two enraged rivals. They both charged at each other, ready to attack, and then!
The sound of the royal trumpet stopped everyone in their tracks. "It's the Princess! It's the Princess! Stop your fighting immediately!" A servant called.
The men reluctantly parted, with fear in their hearts of the Princess overruling their desire to slice and dice each other. The gallops of a horse became louder and louder, before the Princess Sala, in all her glory, stood before the men. She did not look happy at all.
"Again?" Princess Sala hissed. "Do you know how many times you morons have started brawls in the middle of the streets?! Three times! Three times in the last month!"
Viktor opened his mouth to defend himself, but she cut him off. "Don't even think about it, Viktor. I don't care what either of you have to say. I'm tired of your excuses and tired of dealing with the consequences of these fights. I'll let you both off with a warning this time, but I swear to god the next time this happens, I will deal with you. Personally." Sala cleared her throat before whispering, "Understand?"
All the men nodded anxiously.
"Then part, you plebeians. I better not see you drawing out your swords after this."
Viktor gulped nervously as Sala made eye contact with him. "Come speak with me, Viktor. Let's discuss this little incident." Sala commanded. Then she glanced at Chris, who was about to blast. "And you, Christophe, you have an three o'clock appointment at my palace to do the same as Viktor. I'm going to settle this ridiculousness once and for all."
Viktor and Chris glared at each other one more time before Viktor followed Princess Sala back to the palace.
Chris sighed in exasperation, eyes scanning the scene in front of him. A few of his men had been victims of the scuffle. He sighed again. He was so close to finally getting back at Viktor too….
Chris spotted Leo talking to his servant, Guang Hong. "Leo!" He called out to his nephew, and gestured for him come over.
"Uncle!"
"God, Leo, explain how this entire thing happened."
Leo did a double take at Chris's exhausted face and obeyed his uncle. "It was a Capulet. He angered Emil and they started fighting. I tried to break it up, but Seung-gil appeared out of nowhere and wouldn't back down. I had to defend myself, and suddenly everyone else was fighting. And then...well, you know."
"I see. So in the end, it is Viktor's fault…." Chris murmured.
"Uncle?"
Chris smiled briefly at his nephew. "It is nothing." Then his expression turned upset. "Have you seen my son around? I don't know what he's doing but I can tell he's depressed as hell."
"Yeah." Leo agreed.
"Know why?"
"No idea. Oh! I did see him on a walk this morning. He seemed very sad."
"Ah." Chris nodded. "Well, talk to him for me if you can. You know how he is….he never talks to me about anything anymore."
"Will do, Uncle! Guang Hong, let's go."
And with that, the aftermath of the brawl had somewhat settled. Leo and Guang Hong journeyed every street his troublesome cousin. After some time, the finally found him sitting on a riverbank.
"Otabek!" Leo greeted with a smile. "We've dug up the entire city to find you."
"Is that so? Sorry for the inconvenience." Otabek said drearily as he plucked the petals off of a dandelion flower.
Leo and Guang Hong briefly at each other as if to say 'God what is up with him already?' before giving up. Leo sat down beside Otabek. "Hey, man, what's wrong?"
"What do you mean, 'what's wrong'? I'm fine."
"Of course you're not." Guang Hong said as gently as possible, refusing to even look at the troubled teen.
"Yeah. You're definitely not okay. You've been acting a little emo lately. Which is fine and everything, I guess, but is there anything you want to tell us?" Leo asked worriedly.
Otabek waited a moment and decided that he could trust the other two. He admitted, "I've been having dreams of this person…and I haven't been able to sort out my feelings much, but I know that I need to have them."
"Huh?"
"Who?"
Otabek plucked another flower out of the ground. "...it's a guy."
Leo and Guang Hong snorted before bursting out into full laughter.
"Hah, I mean, of course it's a guy! We know you're gay, Otabek." Leo laughed uncontrollably.
Guang Hong giggled. "This is Verona. Very gay, very full-of-rainbows Verona. Everyone is gay."
"And you're just pining over some dude, right? Thank god, I thought your problem was serious."
"Leo!" Otabek growled. "It is serious."
"Man, I'd be more worried if you said you were straight, okay?" Leo joked. "Kidding, kidding. Look, Otabek. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be fine."
"Like you would even understand." Otabek mumbled. "This person, I thought I could push them far away, get rid of thoughts dealing with them. But they keep appearing over and over again in my dreams."
"That sounds dirty…" Guang Hong whispered innocently.
"It's not," Otabek retorted, running a hand through his hair. "It's just that, I keep on seeing them in my dreams….and I know I can't ever have them."
"And this is a real person, correct? Correct me if I'm wrong, Otabek, which I hope I'm not." Leo interjected, raising his hand.
"Of course they're real! I just…..I can't have them."
"Hey, Otabek, who is it?" Guang Hong asked softly. "Just tell us. This'll make it easier."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I can't remember. Their name, or anything else associated with them… I can't remember anything."
"Nothing?"
Otabek paused and then looked down at the flower he was holding. "... their eyes. It's this beautiful clear crystal blue that I know I've seen before. And they're the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life…. I don't know if I could I deal with never finding him."
"I see." Leo patted his cousin on the back. "I think you're gonna be okay, Otabek. Even if you can never find this guy, there are many other options in this city."
"No." Otabek shook his head. "This person is the one. I can't just, choose someone else."
"Otabek-"
"I am never going to give up on finding this person."
Leo smiled fondly at his cousin's determination. "Then let's make a bet. Guang Hong and I will help you search for your mystery man for the next, hmm, let's say month or so. And if we don't find him, we get to set you up with another guy."
Otabek rolled his eyes. "That's ridiculous."
"I don't know, Verona is a large city." Guang Hong said. "If you ever want to find him, you'll need some extra eyes."
"I meant that the bet itself is ridiculous."
"You'd get something in return of course." Leo explained. "What would you want if you won?"
"Besides for you two to leave me alone every once in awhile...oh, I know!" Otabek paused and then looked both of his friends in the eyes, "If I find my fated person, then maybe it'll be about time you tell my father you're both in love with each other."
"Wha-what?!" Leo spluttered, eyes widening.
Guang Hong was too speechless and taken aback to even say anything. He blushed as he covered his face with his hands.
"Otabek, what are you talking about?!" Leo started, his face turning red as well.
"I know you just as well as you know me, cousin." Otabek reminded Leo and stood up. He tossed his last flower into the river. "I suppose that concludes things for now. I'll see you two around."
Otabek began to walk away but turned around last minute and smiled. "And by the way, Leo, I accept your bet."
Act I, Scene II
"For the last time I said NO! Get out my castle, you little brat!" Viktor yelled at a determined suitor who for the love of all things holy would not get out of his face.
"Viktor, I promise I would treat him right. Give me a chance! No one else would love him as much as I would!"
Viktor swore he saw red. He grabbed the suitor by the collar and growled, "It's Lord Capulet to you! And no one would ever love my precious baby boy as much as his own two fathers!"
"What is that noise, Viktor?" A voice rang from the around the hallway.
"Crap, it's my hubby. Act natural." Viktor mumbled under his breath. He let go of the suitor and shoved him away.
"Who are you talking to-" Yuri laid eyes on their guest and stopped himself. "Good morning, Count JJ. I wasn't expecting you."
"Morning Lord Yuri! Sorry for not making an appointment beforehand. I thought Viktor-ehm, I mean Lord Capulet, told you I would be visiting."
Yuri glanced at Viktor, who sweatdropped nervously. "No, he didn't. Well, we should all sit down if there's something you need to talk about."
JJ grinned. "I think you know why I'm here, Lord Yuri."
"Just do what he says," Viktor commanded, hands itching to smack JJ across the face.
The two men followed Yuri into dining room. They all sat down and Viktor began to viciously stare their guest down.
Yuri placed his hand on his husband's to calm him down and cleared his throat. "So, Count JJ, what brings you here today?"
"I'm sure you remember that these past few weeks I've been asking about your son." JJ started.
Viktor grit his teeth. "Yes, I definitely remember."
Yuri squeezed Viktor's hand. "Listen to what he has to say, please."
"But Yuri-!"
"Just listen, okay?"
Viktor pouted and leaned back in his seat, still glaring at JJ.
"As I was saying," JJ continued with a smile directed right at Viktor, "I've been asking about your son. How do you feel about my proposal to court him? Any progress?"
"I'll give you the same answer. You know that our son is very young."
"My baby boy is only fifteen!" Viktor interjected, attempting to hold up the number fifteen with his hands and failing.
"That's not considered that young nowadays." JJ blinked, oblivious to Viktor's anger.
"Men his age are already being married. And I'm only asking to court him."
Yuri exhaled deeply. "Nonetheless, I would never force him to be courted by someone he's not interested in. Are you even sure that he's the one you really want?"
"I don't know how many times I have to say it, Lord Yuri! Ever since I saw him fence, I've been absolutely enamored. You ought to give me a chance. You know that I would treat him well."
"He will not be courted by someone he's never even talked to." Viktor said harshly, rejecting JJ's proposal.
"Lord Capulet… you know, the point of courtship," JJ snickered, "is to get to know one another prior to marriage. I have the most honest intentions, believe me, and I just want to get to know him."
"Nope! No way! You would have thought!" Viktor stuck his tongue out at the count and crossed his arms into a X-sign. "Why would I ever let you court my son?! Right, Yuri? You agree, don't you?"
Yuri gazed at Viktor with a forced smile on his face. "It might be worth a try."
"WHAT?!" Viktor shrieked, eyes as large as saucers. He grabbed his husband's hands in shock. "You can't possibly be considering this! No, no, no. There's no way we can ever give him permission to do this! I won't allow it!"
"Viktor, I'm saying that maybe we should try first. Maybe let the two of them hangout, something like that? And I hate to say this but he's worn me down these past few weeks. I can't handle refusing his proposal and then seeing him knocking on the castle doors three days later."
"But-"
"We won't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do."
"No! I don't want to let him " Viktor began to pout again.
Yuri rubbed his husband's back gently. "Viktor. Let's see how it works out, alright? I'll set all the ground rules. I'll make sure JJ never makes him do anything he doesn't want. I promise."
Viktor looked at Yuri with reluctant eyes, then glanced at JJ, who looked like he was about to burst into sunshine and rainbows. Viktor blew the hair out of his face. "Fine. But there will be strict rules, and consequences if you ever harm a hair on my precious baby boy."
"Of course, of course! Thank you for giving me this opportunity, m'Lords! I will not disappoint either of you or your lovely son." JJ saluted the two men in front of him.
"Both of you can, um, mingle at the Princess's ball tonight. There will be plenty of supervision-"
"So that he can come running to papa if this good-for-nothing count is bothering him!" Viktor reverted back to his child-like behavior, arms crossed indignantly.
"Right." Yuri sweatdropped. Then his face turned serious. "However JJ, please keep some things in mind. I know you've grown affectionate towards our son after seeing him fence, but make sure he's truly the one you want before you court him. There will be lots of men at the ball tonight, not just him."
"You got it, Lord Yuri!"
"Okay! Okay! Does that wrap it all up? Can he go now? He can go now, right Yuri?"
"Don't worry, Lord Capulet! I'm already leaving!"
"Yes, don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
Yuri smacked his husband on the arm. "Viktor," he chided.
"Oh please. I know you wanted him out as much as I did!"
Yuri laughed. "Maybe I did."
"Maybe?! You obviously did. Look at you, you're smiling."
"Truth be told, his persistence got on my nerves a lot. I hope everything at the ball turns out alright."
"Everything will be a-okay as long as he leaves our son alone."
Yuri nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah…. Speaking of which, we haven't given out the invitations yet, have we?"
"Ah crap, you're right."
"I can go do some errands-"
"No," said Viktor. "I've got an idea. Takeshi!" Viktor called for the servant and was pleased when he saw the man running into the dining room frantically. "Takeshi, you wouldn't mind handing out the invitations to the rest of the Capulets, right? It's for the ball."
Takeshi's eyes widened. "Wait, Lord Viktor, you know I can't-"
"Wonderful!" Viktor beamed, his smile a bit too angelic. "It delights me that you are willing to make up for the fight you instigated this morning. After all, you did provoke those wretched Montagues first, didn't you?"
"Um, w-well, y-you see," Takeshi stammered, and Viktor shoved a bunch of papers into his hands.
"Now then, don't take too long!"
"Wait, Lord Viktor, wait!"
"Come, love." Viktor said to Yuri and grabbed his hand. "We're going to take care of some other business. Thanks for taking care of the invitations!"
"Lord Viktor! I can't! You know I can't-" Takeshi gaped as Yuri and Viktor slammed the door to room shut, "-read. You know I can't read." The man stared down at his invitations, sighing. He exited the castle and wandered the streets of Verona to find some people who could read.
Meanwhile, Otabek, Leo, and Guang Hong were heading back to the castle. Leo noticed a sheet of paper on the ground. He picked it up and began to grin. "Otabek, look at this."
"The Princess is having a ball tonight?" Otabek questioned as he skimmed the flyer. "I wonder if Michele ever told me about this."
"Ah, who knows where he is nowadays?" Guang Hong commented airily.
"Anyway, you're looking at the perfect opportunity to find your mystery man! All the fine men in Verona will be here." Leo gushed. Then he squinted harder at the words on the invitation list. "Unfortunately the Capulets will be there too. That's only to be expected."
Guang Hong chimed in. "Either way, Leo is right. This is the chance you need. He could really be there!"
"It's a masquerade ball." Otabek deadpanned.
"So what?"
"I don't know, cousin. Maybe seeing his face would help me?"
Leo snickered. "Is that sarcasm I hear? From Otabek Montague? I recall that you said all you can really remember is his eyes. Just scan the crowd for his eyes, and boom! There's your mystery man!"
"I don't know if this is a good idea-"
"Cousin, I hate to be blunt, but stop being emo and go have so fun. The sooner you find this guy, the less time you'll spend moping around."
"So it's settled then? Will you go to the ball?"
Otabek sighed. "I guess I will."
Act I Scene III
"Yuuuuuurioooo! Yuuuuuurioooo! Yuri Junior! Junior! Yuri Juniorrrr!"
"Will you shut the hell up already?!" Yurio Capulet snarled at the man who had just come into his room.
"Never!" Phichit gave the blond a peace-sign.
"Ugh. What do you want, Phichit?"
Phichit smiled as he jumped onto Yurio's bed. "Don't be like that Yuri Junior! I came to tell you some news."
"Don't call me junior!"
"I can't help it if you were named after your father," Phichit giggled.
"I wasn't." Yurio rolled his eyes. "We just happened to have the same name. That's all!"
Phichit gave Yurio a blank look. "Right. Anyway, I have some news!"
"I know. Is it anything actually important?"
"I wouldn't come bursting into your room, shouting your name if it wasn't." Phichit leaned in with a sly smirk. "I wanted to tell you that the splendid, gift to this city Count JJ is here again."
"Ew. Has my dad kicked that bastard out yet?!"
"I heard them talking in the dining room. You know he wants to court you, right?"
"Yeah, and I'd rather die!" Yurio exclaimed in disgust.
"Mhmm, I figured." Phichit mused.
"Well, I already knew that. What else did you need to tell me? And I swear to god I'll punch you if it has anything else to do with JJ."
Phichit raised his hands in defense. "This is the actual important part! I heard Yuri give permission to JJ to 'mingle' with you at the Princess's ball tonight."
"As if," Yurio scoffed. "I'm not even going to that stupid ball."
"Ehhhh? You have to go! It's the Princess's ball! Everyone is going to be there. It's not like you have any other choice."
"She can't tell me what to do."
Phichit stifled a laugh. "Are you sure you're really fifteen, Yurio? Ah, I would know for sure since I helped raise you and all. But sometimes you act so childish. It's so cute!"
"Don't call me cute." Yurio warned, but too exhausted from Phichit's joyful and sunshine-filled aura to even threaten him. "And just so you know, I'm really not going to that ball."
"Even if your dad tells you to?"
"Pft, you think I'm scared of Viktor?"
Phichit raised an eyebrow. "I know you're not scared of Viktor. But if Yuri tells you to go, you'll obey him, right?"
Yurio hesitated for a second, mouth dry as he searched for words to speak. He thought about last week when he had skipped family dinner for more fencing practice, and how angry Yuri was. He shuddered. "I…..I guess. But I'd only go because he'd probably beg me too anyway!"
"Whatever you say," Phichit sang. "Anyhoo, Yuri is probably gonna swing by later and tell you all about the ball and how JJ will be there. He's going to make you attend it, obviously, and you will not be skipping any more important events. So I'll be here to help you get ready. Aren't you excited?!"
"No," replied Yurio with an annoyed look. "I'd rather-"
"Be fencing? Or is it die again?"
Yurio groaned, dragging his hands down his face frustration. "Either of those two would work!"
"You'll have loads of fun at the ball, okay? I'm certain Seung-gil will be there. I know you've been wanting to chat with your cousin for a while now."
Yurio perked up. "He will?"
"Yup!"
"Oh. Then if I have to go…. it won't be so bad," Yurio muttered lowly, hoping Phichit wouldn't hear him.
"Ah, one more thing."
"What is it now? If you tell me you have another piece of 'important news' one more time, I'll hit you with my rapier."
Phichit's everlasting smile turned somber. He placed both of his hands on Yurio's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "I understand that you hate JJ with all of your heart, and I don't blame you after all the nagging he's been doing lately. But, Yuri is going to come over and ask that you give JJ a chance. You know that he wants the best for you and that he's been under a lot of pressure lately for not marrying you off yet. For his sake, will you at least think about it?"
Yurio immediately scowled when he processed what Phichit was asking of him. "Why the hell would I-" He felt slightly weak under the stare of a completely serious Phichit and looked away. "If I say yes, will you take your damn-"
"Language, Yurio."
"Okay! Will you take your darn hands off of me?! I'll think about it! You happy?"
"Yup! And I'm sure you will be too. You'll feel absolutely refreshed after the ball. And speaking of said ball…." Phichit grinned mischievously. "We need to prepare some clothes so you can irresistible tonight! I'll make sure JJ isn't the only one to be enchanted by your looks!"
"WHAT?!"
"Come on, come on! Let's try on some suits, Yuri Junior!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
Phichit smiled, ignoring Yurio's heated glare as he dragged the younger man into the closet to find some hot clothes for the ball.
Little did Otabek and Yurio know that this ball would be the start of the an incredible adventure… or was it a misadventure?