Love. Who knew a small four - letter word could hurt so much?
I sat in my room at this crummy mansion. I was thinking, like I had been for hours. Still, no answer ever came to my mind.
Do I really love her? Do I? I closed my eyes tightly. I clenched my fist, and pulled out my Zippo lighter. One part of me wanted to burn this place to the ground, with everyone in it. Another part of me, wanted to control for myself for once.
I sighed deeply. I punched the wall by bed.
"Why?!" Ever since the day this old guy named Magneto or something said I should never let anyone tell me to control my powers. I've never been the same. The same John. Or Pyro. Am I really being held back? I held my head by temples to ease my pain. It didn't help any. So many thoughts about that Magneto guy and Rogue raced through my head. I'd never felt so confused in my life. Never. Never felt so unsure, so unwanted.
Everything became silent.
"John?" Bobby Drake knocked on my door. I didn't need this, not now. "John? What are you doing, man?" The door creaked open. I gazed over at him. My face turned into a dark scowl.
"What?!" I barked. Bobby jumped back a bit. For some reason, seeing him made my blood pressure rise. I never felt comfortable around him. He was living the happy life. He was in love. He wasn't like me. He had it all."What!?" My voice grew louder, in rage. Bobby paused.
"Where's Rogue? She was supposed to meet me for dinner tonight, and I thought-"
"You thought What?!" I folded my arms. Bobby swallowed hard.
"I thought you might know where she is." Bobby stared at me, waiting for an answer.
"No. I have no clue where your "girlfriend" is, Bobby. Maybe you should get her a leash. She's always leaving you. You never know what the girl's up to. She's so pathetic, just like you" My eyes narrowed at him. He paused, his fist clenched, and becoming a blue shade. My eyes widened, but he didn't see.
"Look John, I don't have time for this." His fist went back to his normal shade again. I rolled my eyes.
Same old Bobby. Always afraid of a fight. Bobby didn't look back at me. He just left my room, without saying another word.
x~~~~~~~~~x
Sometime late in the night, I stared out my widow. The sky was dark, and depressing. Like always.
Maybe he makes sense. I am being underestimated. I- I shook my head. "They want me here. Maybe not Bobby, but-" My eyes then caught a glimpse of Bobby outside with Rogue. I quickly jumped off my bed, and ran down the stairs. I stood by the door.
"Rogue, I love you." I watched her look into his eyes. I shook my head. The way I felt about Rogue was so hard to describe. So hard to bring to words. I knew what would happen. I knew from the second Bobby said that word. Love.
"Bobby," Rogue grabbed his hand. No. I closed my eyes. This can't be- "I love you, too." My eyes shot open as I saw their lips meet. I fell to my knees. It's over. They probably pulled away quickly because of Rogue. Of course, I didn't want to look. I felt defeated, dead, alone. It felt as though my heart had snapped into ten million little pieces. I knew I couldn't do a thing. That was it. I rose to my feet, and walked out the door. My decision was made. No one really cared. They all played me like an old puppet. To die. Rogue turned to Bobby, her arm linked with his. "I'm so happy you feel the same, Bobby." Rogue stated in her country accent. I saw her and Bobby enter the mansion, and that was the last I ever wanted to see them.
X_______________X
I stood moths later by the side of Magneto, the X -Men's mortal enemy. He turned to me and gave me a malicious smile.
"Go get him." He flung cars in the air, and I shot my fire at them. I loved seeing it burn. Seeing everyone in pain. At least I thought I did. I never forget about Rogue, or Bobby. Rogue haunted my dreams, she haunted me. She was my only regret. "Go." Magneto pointed to the team of X-Men, all gathered to kill us. I smirked at the thought. Head to head with Bobby.
Bobby instantly rose to the occasion. He ran up to me, and I met him there. We stood face to face.
"Come on, John. You shouldn't be doing this. You're killing innocent people. John, please…" Bobby gave me that face he always gave Rogue. That face of begging.
No. I told myself. He hates you. Everyone hates you. They never wanted you. Rogue never wanted you. I held my head in frustration. "NO!" I yelled. "I HATE YOU!" I shot fire at Bobby, and it hit him unexpectedly. He hit the ground. I saw Rogue in the background, surrounded by my mess. She looked right at me. I felt hurt, but- she didn't care! Ever. I hit Bobby again. He was already on the ground. He coughed.
"John, please. I don't want to hurt you." Bobby pleaded.
"You can't hurt me anymore than you've already hurt me!" I cried. I didn't sound like me anymore. Rogue became closer to me.
"John – no!" I heard her cry. I shot at Bobby and hit Rogue.
NO! My head screamed. NO! NO!Bobby looked at Rogue, who just now hit the ground. Bobby turned to me with a face, I never saw him ever have. He hated me, and I knew it. If he didn't hate me before, he hated me now. Bobby jumped to his feet.
"You – You – You hit her!" Bobby screamed. I shook my head.
"I – I didn't –" I began. Bobby became close to me.
"You hit her! John!" I saw tears run down his face. He really did love her.
X______________X
What have I done?! What have I done!? I held my head. No! I never wanted this! I fell to my knees again. Bobby hit me with his Ice. I didn't care. I was so cold. So cold. I didn't try to fight. It stopped. Rogue stood in front of me. I laid on the ground, froze almost half to death.
"John," She touched my face with her gloved hand. It was so warm. "Why – Why are you doing this?" Rogue looked into my cold eyes. I closed them quickly.
"Rogue – " I opened my eyes and looked into hers. She was quiet. "I love you." I felt my cheeks become wet. She wiped away the tear.
"John, I –" She stopped talking.
"He betrayed us!" Bobby yelled. Again, Bobby ruined everything.
"Bobby –" She began.
"He doesn't care about you! Don't listen to him!" I couldn't believe my ears.
"Bobby, I really do –" I started.
"Shut up!" Bobby pulled me up by my jacket.
"Bobby stop!" Rogue cried. Bobby grabbed my hands and he was so cold. I looked at his face. He held an unsound look plastered on his face. His whole body began to be covered in an ice barrier.
"Bobby, this isn't you. You don't have it in you to kill me." I stated. Bobby put his head down.
"John," Bobby started to whisper. I turned my head to Magneto, who was flinging cars at innocent people. Just like Bobby said.He was right. He let me go and stepped back from me.
The same old Bobby. Always too sympathetic. "Thanks." I looked at Bobby, then at Rogue. She stared at me, speechless. I heard the noise of a car flying towards Rogue and Bobby. My eyes grew larger as I pushed them out of the way.
"John! No!" Rogue yelled. I hit the ground. I couldn't feel my body. I felt crushed. I tried to move, but it hurt even more.
"God!" I pleaded. "Help me!" I felt my leg stabbed, and bleeding. "Help!" Rogue sat by my head.
"Oh my God! John! No! B – Bobby! Help him!" Bobby sat off to the side. She looked at him. "B – Bobby!?" He stared at me, confused.
"R –Ro-" I closed my eyes. Rogue's hand touched my face again. "Rogue," I knew I met my match. I was done. "I – I'm sorry. I let you down." She shook her head. Tears running down her face.
"No…No, John. You didn't. You're going to be fine. You'll be fine."
"No. No I'm not. It's over for me." I groaned in pain again as my other leg went numb.
"No!" She cried. "Don't go John!" I took her hand. A smile went across my face.
"At least I'll die knowing you'll be happy with Bobby."
"No." She put her face towards mine. I let out another agonizing grunt.
"Please, Rogue. Please end it." She shook her head. "I can't stand the pain! Please." A tear hit my face. It was too much. I was suffering. I'd die a slow, painful death. I wanted it to end quickly. "please." She looked at me. I grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her towards me. Our lips met, and I felt everything slowly go away. The pain, my sorrow. All my regrets just ended. I let go, and my hand hit the ground. And the last thing I heard Rogue say was,
"I love you, too…"