Jahey Fans! It's me! Semi! Yeah! (sweatdrop) Okay I know I dun have Fans... (crawls into a corner and relish's her "Mr.Big-Syndrome" )

Ok... Some of you might probably have read my Special Covert Interview (short CSI) about Devil May Cry's Vergil... If not! Shame on you, but as you are reading this here 'cause you fancy Digimon and not DMC... I will forgive you!

Disclaimer: Just the normal bits. Nah I dun own Digimon or something else I probably might take from somewhere else that is not my ownership. All the other stuff belongs to me except the stuff that doesn't belong to me. All clarity defeated? Great! Than I can start my fanfic. (You dun have to be lunatic to read it, but it helps... says Myo-kun!)

Note: Back to topic above... If you have read my "CSI" you will remember the first parts of it where we only had audio contact, right? So to cut a long story short. This here will be a bit like that... No interview, it's a phone call between Myotismon and Ladydevimon... And I do give descriptions about what they're doing while talking... Not what you think you perverted! Well you'll get into it!

Just some bit of explanation:

When I write in bold it's Myotismon.

When I write in just these normal letters, it's Ladydevimon's side.

And when I write in italics it means that me the author and my little friend, momentarily sleeping on the chair next to me, are commenting something.

I'll probably screw it up sometimes, sorry then. I try to avoid that. (Probably going to bed one day before dawn would help...?)

But as I know you're all clever readers (hopefully reviewers) I think you would have figured this without my humble explanations! (Oh look I'm performing Demidevimon!)

Well now let's get into the story.

Chapter one: Epilogue

All fights against evil Digimon are finally over, at least for Tai and his crew and Davis and his crew. (I dun care much for DTs ) Apocalymon is defeated long ago and the DigiDestineds punched the shit out of MaloMyotismon too. That was a year ago... We have peace on earth and in the Digiworld ("Aawh Cute!" sigh Yeah I know that's boring, hold on!). But what the Digidestined and Oikawa did not know...

MaloMyotismon wasn't dead. "Dumdum Duum!" He was heavy wounded, out of energy and really close to death! And then realized that there might be a tiny little chance that he'll loose the fight... Just a really tiny little chance, but it was there! So he decided: "..." (me pokes Myo-kun into his side) "...Wha? Why you wake me up? It's 2 p.m. ...Huh? Oh now?" (clears his throat, me repeats:) "So he decided!" ... "Damn! Kiss my fucking Mega-level ass! I'll gonna malinger. Faked my death once, can do it twice!" Yeah that's what MaloMyotismon thought. "I would never say 'kiss my fucking Mega-level ass', you know Semi?" (I sigh, petting his head) "Yah I know, but I already told you. I deny that you and MaloMyotismon are 100 the same character, 'cause you' re sexy and he's well... you know what I mean. So he thought that, not you!" ( Myo-kun crawls into his coffin again.) "Can accept this, wake me up when you need me."

Where was I? ... O yeah... So MaloMyotismon faked his death and disappeared... As he was out of energy... he got back onto Ultra level Myo-kun, with nicer vocabulary and especially body. He went to the Digiworld and when they saw him the atmosphere was as if you're going into a hall full of err... well... Nazis and shout out loud "Hitler was gay and annexed Stalin's anus!" Well this just to explain you why Myo-kun did not stay in the Digiworld. In fact he went to Tokyo, as much of the Digimon villains did (surprise, surprise) and like the other humanoid villains he tried to have a quite... normal life, despite the fact he's a pseudo vampire.

"Watch out, missy!" (me twirls round) "What? Why' re you awake?" (Myo-kun sits upright in his coffin) "I am no pseudo vampire! I'm the fucking prince of darkness... ° I know, I know!" (I sigh ) "Think again honey... remember the episode where you caused major anemia in Tokyo? You reflected in the woman's eyes! Vampy's dun have a reflection! Ask Vlady!" (He puts up his smugly smile) "Well you should think again! There is a difference between those pathetic human vampires and a noble DigiVampire like myself!" (I throw my boot at his head, makes him keel over and take a nap). "Never defame Vlady and co! Not even you are allowed to!"

Well... Let's go back. So Myotismon returned to Oikawa's apartment (as he wouldn't need it anymore), gave it a new more Myo-like, but human, style and was kinda content with that way of life. To slowly come to my fanfiction... He already gave Oikawa's phone number to his villain pals when he was possessing Oikawa. So when coming back, he had a lot of calls on the answering machine, that he has not yet heard as he was occupied with redecorating and stuff and problems with his roommate (Demidevimon) for months.

Well it's night out there and Myotismon (without his cape for not causing confusion under the humans) comes back from the 24/7 Shop with heavy plastic bags in each hand. Content? Well ... mainly wine and other alcoholic liquids, cans of bat food for his Grisly Wing pets (he had to order this), amethyst lipgloss, "Vampires Health" magazine (had to order this, too), coffin- and boot-polish and some packages of strong stain remover. (Ever tried to get blood out of your clothes?). He walks up the stairs with the apartment key between his fangs and groans as he has to put down at least one bag to open the door. He walks in and stuffs everything to where it belongs. He throws his boots into a corner of the corridor and sees the little red diode of the answering machine flashing repeatedly, but ignores it and decides to take a shower first.

He strips of his gloves and his military blue suit and turns on the water for it needs some time to warm up. He waits for it barefooted in his navy blue shorts. Than he even takes of his mask and strips down the just mentioned shorts and---- "Whoa! Ouch!" (I was nearly hit by Crimson Lightning, had to cover and hit my head at my desk.) "DON'T EVEN CONSIDER DESCRIBING THIS IN DETAIL, LITTLE MISS!" (My elegant friend woke up. Dammit! Sorry fans! Thought I knocked him out for longer!) "Calm down, fellow! Ok... TIMEWARP!"

So Myotismon took his shower without us watching (sob) and is now in clothes again and toweling his hair. He walks through the corridor toweling his hair and again notices the red diode still flashing on and off longing for him to hear the messages. He pushes the button leans against the wall and towels his hair. "You already said that. Don't they ever dry?" (Well, see who came to the chair next to me again!) "I'm sorry. I just have sort of affection to the image of a handsome guy rubbing his hair with a towel! In this instance: You!" (Myo-kun raises an eyebrow and glares at me.) "Well... keep on writing, just stop toweling my head sore!"

So Myotismon listens to the messages on his answering machine. (I cut those for Oikawa out!)

"Myo-chan you ultra-Level brat! Just a joke. Here's Puppetmon. I just wanted to try whether this number works. Click."

"Hello Oh Sorry wrong number. Click"

"Myotismon-san, I'm Takeru Oda from the HXXXL-Company. I just wanted to inform you that we got your subscription for our magazine 'Vampire chicks gone wild' you'll receive the first issue within two days. Click." "SEMI!" "What? You're just a man aren't you? A Digimon villain who lost his destination and can finally behave like the man that he his." He leans back in his chair and sighs. "You're my nemesis!"

"Hello my friend. Do you feel lonely? Do you think the world is cruel? We can help you! Come to us. And we will present you the eternal enlightenment for only 100 US$ a month. Please call us. 0800-. Click."

"Hey Myo-kun. Here's Ladydevimon. I just wanted to check the number. But you seem not to be at home. I'll try it again. Click."

"Noble master Myotismon-sama. Are you there? Please answer the phone if you're there, master. It's me Demidevimon, remember? I just wanted to phone you 'cause I really miss you, master! Can't I be you're lackey again even though you took control over that human? Please master! I'm not offended because you absorbed me to digivolve to VenomMyotismon. And you know everyone in the Digiworld is threatening me to harm me. They don't like me, master. But you did. You were always so nice to me and I alw--- TUUUUT."

"It's me again, master. That answering machine thing cut me off. It's just like all those Digimons who couldn't understand your genius, master! Like this terrible Gatomon pussy, what a bitch! And this drunkard Wizardmon, but you gave him quite a thing to digest! You're always my number one Digimon Lord, yes you are! No matter what the people say! And those DigiDestined will learn that too! Master Myotismon-sama, please I need you! You are so intelligent and this human world's so bi--- TUUUUT."

"Hey Myo-kun it's me Ladydevimon. When we met yesterday in Odaiba you said you would phone me. I'm still waiting for your call! Hurry up man! Click."

"Hello, master. This thing is really evil. It cut me off again. What I wanted to say was, that the human world's so big and noisy and frightening me. And you always know how to behave in this kind of world, master. And how to get all the advantages of it. And I'm kinda lost in this big vivid city, especially without you master. I would do everything if you would take me back! I could feed your bats and take them on a walk and I would polish your boots every day and I could do so much things for you, master. Please I beg yo--- TUUUUT." "Twenty calls off Demidevimon later..." Myo-kun laughs complacently. "Well that's what I call in-character!" I blush. Never did before... strange..."Thanks a lot! Though I could've made it better..."

"... So, master Myotismon-sama. You're still not at home? That's so sad... Well I thought about something, master. Now that you have an apartment, I thought about becoming your roommate... Only if you like to, of course master! Oh why aren't you at home noble master Myotismon-sama? I gonna visit your apartment tomorrow, maybe I got luck and you're there then, master? Well I hope to see you tomorrow master Myotismon-sama. Click."

"Hey Myo-kun! It's LadyD I'm getting slightly angry! You still haven't phoned me and why the hell is your connection permanently occupied? Are you calling sex-hotlines or d'you have a new bitch to phone! Click."

"Hello my friend Myotismon. Here is Piedmon. The Dark Masters and me are planning a little party with lot's of alcohol. Maybe some Vestalmons will join too. I thought this would be something to cheer you up after that Oikawa-incident. Call me for details. You got my number. Click." "Vestalmon? Never heard of those."I grin cheekily and think he would like them. "Sure they don't exist. I first thought about Lapdancemon but that would've been to obvious!" He rubs his temples. "And you're sure that you're not a DigiDestined? For you cause as much headache as them!" I just nod.

"Helloooo. Myo-kun! I'm waiting for your call for about a week now! What are you doing? It's not difficult, you know! Get up the receiver, push the buttons with my number on it and TALK TO ME FOR HELL'S SAKE!. Click."

"Good morning Myotismon, or should I say good Night? Anyway… It is sad that you have missed our bash. You really have missed something mate! But I think you would be in a far worse state than Puppetmon is now. Do not ask in what state he is… You don't want to know that. By the way, you would not believe the things MetalSeadramon did! But I filmed it with my cell-phone. So if you would come over to us, I could show it to you and him, as he cannot remember a bit… Bye. Click."

"Myo-kun? Hey I dunno what you're doing all the time! But normally when people say, they call someone they do it WITHIN two weeks! Man you're infuriating! Why' re you so busy? I thought you gave up the stuff about these brats! Call me, or else! Click."

"Myotismon! Get up the damn receiver and call me! I cannot sit next to the phone, waiting all the time. You know? Or maybe you're getting senile with your 800 years. To remind you: CALL LADYDEVIMON!. Click."

"Hey Myo-kun ya bastard! Here's Etemon! Hey I'm opening my own little Disco, with my own songs! If you like come and see it. You'll get free entrance. You're attracting girls to come in, man! Hey you could run ad for me! We discuss that later! Click."

"Myotismon Vamdemon! When will you condescend your ass to call me! Man you're so… so… ARGH! (rude)Click."

"Well… err Myotismon… Here's Etemon again… Well, forget that about my Disco… I had to close. First day went but then nobody came again and… well. See ya. Click."

"OK THAT'S IT BOY! I'M THROUGH WITH YOU! NEVER DARE TO TALK TO ME AGAIN! IF YOU CAN'T EVEN MUSTER ONE MINUTE TO CALL ME! YOU'RE SUCH A WANKER! (very rude) CLICK!" "Well, that's in fact not very nice of her, is it?" He lays his head slanted. I nod. "Yeah but it has to be this way, or I couldn't go on with my fanfic. 'Cause you need a reason to call her."

This was the last message and Myotismon, against his nature, was slightly discomfited. Well it was not his fault he couldn't call! But she was a nice girl and someone he didn't want to pick a quarrel with. He remembered her high heels… still got a scar on his shin…

So Myotismon decided to stop toweling his hair (sadly) and call her now. So be ready for the phone call friends!

"Ahem… Semiramis? Before you start writing the next chapter… Shall I switch on the heating?" (I'm slightly confused.) "What? What are you talking about?" (He shrugs.) "I just thought you might be freezing." (I get even more confused and try to unravel his look.) "Huh? I'm not with yo--- Aaah! WHERE' RE YOU STARING AT!" ( I slap him in the face, he rubs over his cheek. One can see the outline of my hand on it. 'cool') "I did NOT stare. Vampires just have really sensitive… senses! And I noticed you're getting goose-pimples. That's it, no need to hurt me." (I glare at him.) "I dun have goose-pimples on my boo--- Well where you just stared at!" "Cannot stare to where nothing is! whisper" "WHAT YOU' VE SAID!" (He sweatdrops and slides slightly away from me.) "Nothin!" (I clear my throat.) "Well fans… You'll have to wait for the second chapter to read the phone call… As I have a bone to pick with a certain bat!"

End chapter one.

offscreen

"Hey! Don't you run away, lad!"

"Ah! Get off from me, child! Ouch!"

"You little jerk. I thought you're a nobleman!"

"Ow! NO go away!"

"NEVER You have to pay for this! HAIKEEBA!"

"AAAAHHH! Being a nobleman doesn't mean... OUCH… to be a noble man as well! Ack---Stop that!"

"DIE BASTARD! DIE!" Making sounds like in PSYCHO.

"Is it possible that you're slightly exaggerati--- YA-OW!"

"Will never have a chance to pick on you again! Have to relish it!"

"Aaahh not that thing! Please everything but not THAT! NO GERMAN YODEL! PLEASE!"

"You can run, but you cannot hide! MUAHAHAHAHA!" Loud Yodel music in the background.

"You scare me! Really turn that off!"

"Damn! I forgot I have to listen to it, too." Music stops. "Then I'll hit you again!"

"Don't even think about it! CRIMSON LIGHTNING!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!"

"Oh please! Now you're really exaggerating I didn't even hit something near you!"

"You… you… you attack me? loud sniffing I thought… I thought we were… were friends…" Keeps on sniffing loud.

"Err… I didn't meant to… hey stop crying… Hey ! Don't you blow your nose in my cape!"

"How can you… be so cruel… I was just … making fun… and you… and you…" Keeps on sniffing aloud.

"C'mon Semi, I'm sorry! Here take my hand I'll help you up!"

"Thank's!" Sniffing abruptly stopped.

"You're welco --- YAAAAAAAAAOOOOoowwwwllll! Ow! Ow! Ow! That hurted! Ow … uuuhhh… Damn you little … ow… uh… Using my compassion for that foul trick! Ouch. Right into the family's gems… uuuhhh you're a bitch! Nothing mo-ow… A nasty little infantile ow terrible ow DigiDestined-like ow bitch! Ow…mommy…ouch. Thaaaaaat hurts! Gosh!"

"Well… I really didn't want to hit that hard… Err Myo-kun?"

"Keep away from me! Let me rest in peace! Let me suffer my agony alone!" Kinda melodramatic voice.

"O c'mon, we'll do some ice onto it… nah that would make it worse… err I'm not so well versed with guys stuff… Can I get you a pillow or something?"

"Just keep away from me! You're far worse than Angewomon! I won't speak a word with you again!"

"Ok that really hurt, Mister! That really hit me right here, you know?"

"YOU'RE HEART'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR CHEST YOU SCHIZOPHRENIC MORON!"

"See, you talk to me again!"

"Stop grinning so brainless! Go on writing your fanfic and let me recover!"

Author's note:

Hy there. Well I've send Myo-kun to his coffin, he's sleeping right now. I think he's not really injured… he just simulates to stop me from hitting him. Actually I'm the jerk somehow… I just did this because I wanted to find out something … I had a wager with a friend about the size… And well seems as if I won 50 bugs! Yeah! spoiled grin But don't tell Myotismon he'll "Grisly Wing"- me to death if he finds out… '

Please review and cheer for the next chap. Thanks.

P.S.: "Get well"- Cards for Myo- kun to my address please.