Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic. I hope you enjoy it. I hadn't originally wanted to start with Ichigo and Ishida, but it seemed like a good introduction to how the story is going to go.

NOTE: I went back and did a bit of editing to clean things up, but it ended up making the chapter even shorter :/ Please keep in mind that everything here is all for fun, and I'm not seriously belittling any of the characters, despite my dislike for some of them, I try to not to do that. If anyone still sees rough spots in any of the chapters or if something isn't clear, please let me know. I appreciate good constructive criticism.

Note: I don't own Bleach! I'm not that good.

Hey, That's Me!

Chapter One: Of Training and Chocolate

Ichigo and Ishida sat, leaning against a rock and panting, in the underground training cavern of Urahara's shop. There was never much of a temperature in the training cavern, but both dripped with perspiration. They glared at each other, taking a moment to recover from injuries received during their most recent sparring session. Kurosaki Ichigo was in his Shinigami robes, his body safe in one of the shop's rooms above, his sword propped against the rock. Ishida Uryuu was still in his school uniform, his bow rested on the ground beside him. Ichigo wiped the sweat from his brow and then tossed a bottle of water to his friendly rival.

"How dare you throw that at my head!" Ishida growled at the orange-haired shinigami.

"Hey, you're lucky I tossed you any at all, you ingrate!" Ichigo growled back. "You could at least thank me."

"You're the ingrate! I'm only here because you need practice sensing reiatsu." Ishida pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose.

"Why you…!" Ichigo lunged at the Quincy.

They both flashed back to their feet and put up their fists instead of grabbing their weapons. Ichigo had just attempted to give Ishida a strong right hook, when a familiar voice made him pause.

"Cut it out, you two!" Yoruichi emerged from the shadows to better referee their most recent unnecessary squabble. They backed up a few feet upon seeing the look in her eyes. Even as a cat, she was terrifying when angry. "Ishida, you're only here because Kisuke wants you to stay strong in case of another battle against Aizen and his Espada. And, humph…because he's shut himself up in his lab again with a project, I have to babysit the two of you."

"Babysit!" they chorused, in shock, both lunging toward Yoruichi. She shunpoed away with a yawn, causing the boys to collide into each other.

"Yes, the way you bicker at each other while you fight, I might as well be babysitting. Stop concentrating on beating your opponent to a pulp and try to learn from each other."

"How can I learn anything from him!" Ichigo and Ishida chorused again, each pointing at the other boy and attempting to give the black cat a death-glare.

"Stop saying the same thing as me," they chorus a third time.

"No! You stop!" they shouted a fourth time.

"Both of you stop!" Yoruichi growled her voice even gruffer since she was in cat form. She found very effective when instructing them. And, they never seemed to hesitate to say so whenever making the mistake of asking again. "If I've told you once, I've told both of you a dozen times…you can't observe your opponents' movements you have to understand how they move, how they operate…how they think."

She glared at them both, and then suddenly disappeared. They looked around frantically for any sign of the black cat. They saw a flash of black and heard a chuckle. They did not feel the pain of the scratches until she suddenly reappeared in front of them.

Ichigo winced. "Could you please not use the cat form?"

"No, I like it." She answered simply.

"Oh, come on…"

"You'd both rather I look like a female?"

They nodded.

"Without any available clothing down here? Very well then…" she paused.

"NO!" they shouted in horror, both the teens' faces turned bright, cherry red.

"Too easy…too easy to tease." She rolled on the ground, bursting out in sudden intense laughter.

Their faces returned to the death-glare they had given her previously and turned a deeper shade of red.

"Now, have another go at each other, and I'll send Ururu down with lunch. Fight, but behave," She scolded and rose from the ground, walking toward the exit without looking back. "I need some air. It's too stuffy down here today." She goaded.

"Stuffy!" Ichigo exclaimed and started to charge after the black cat. "Why I oughta—"

"Shut up, Ichigo!" Yoruichi cautioned as she disappeared back up into the shop.

"Yourichi-sama," Ururu greeted as the black cat emerged from the training room. Yoruichi sat at the edge of the trapdoor staring down at the teens battling away. "Um…Yoruichi-sama…" the girl tried again.

"Mmm…?" the cat replied distractedly, thinking. There must be some way to knock sense into their heads. Who knows what that is though. The little girl cleared her throat, breaking the train of thought.

"Oi! Ururu-chan! Sorry to keep you waiting. What's…hmm, is Kisuke at lunch?"

"Oh, he's still locked up in his lab. He hasn't come out for lunch. I'm worried." Ururu looked to the floor, and sniffled.

"I don't think you need to worry about him. I'll go in and check on him myself." She smiled at the girl, winding around her legs to reassure her. Ururu smiled and giggled as Yoruichi's fur tickled her skin. "Hey, little one, could you get some lunch for those two idiots down there. They'll need another break after the most recent round of trying to beat each other senseless."

"Sure thing!"

"But first, put together something for Kisuke and me. I'm sure he could use a break too."

"Of course!" Ururu smiled again and rushed off to the kitchen.

Such a good girl, Yoruichi though as she flashed off to the lab.

The blonde scientist was stretched out on the floor in a corner of the lab when Yoruichi came in. The two could easily sense each other's reiatsu from miles away.

"Oi Yoruichi-san!" Urahara greeted, his attention on the report he was studying.

"Lazy fool." Yoruichi said, curling up on his lap.

He did not respond right away "You know," he muttered after a while. "I find this quite odd…"

"What's new?" She received no witty. "Wait. What are you talking about?"

"You are the cat…" he chuckled.

"Hey lazy!"

"Aw Yoruichi-san," Urahara pushed back his hat, putting on a display of being hurt, his lips curled in a pout, and his eyes wide.

"Cut the crap. What have you been working for so long on in here?"

"Some defensive strategy for the next phase of the war against Aizen."

"Oh good, something useful."

"And a yummy snack."

"Oh?" Yoruichi said with mocked interest and suspicion.

"Well, maybe just a little Shinigami treat," he said with a devious smile. "For you. Inspired by you anyway…Chocolate Soul Candy!"

Yoruichi squealed with glee. It was not easy to convey her excitement as a cat. Excited at her reaction, Urahara scooped Yoruichi up in his arms and whooshed over to a lab table at the far side of the room. With a beaming smile, he inserted a few pieces of chocolate candy into a dispenser. "See!" He held it out so she could see it easily.

"You could market that easily to the Shinigami Woman's Association!"

"Yoruichi-san is a genius! And, now I can say you thought of it." He grinned mischievously. "Would you like a taste of the chocolates I used as inspiration for the design of the candy?"

Yoruichi's eyes lit up. "I thought you'd never ask!"

Urahara took a chocolate out of a small decorative box and offered it to her. Yoruichi ate it from his fingers slowly, savoring the scrumptious morsel. The blonde smirked at the enjoyment "his kitty" was getting out of the little treat. She licked the stray chocolate around her mouth, and then carefully licked away the chocolate from his fingers. He chuckled softly at the tickling of the black cat's tongue on his fingers.

"That was too good. Where did you get chocolate like that?" She said, lying down on the lab table.

"Oh, I made the chocolate too. I am supposed to be running a candy store, aren't I?"

"'Supposed to be' being the operative phrase there." She nodded. "Yes…"

He smiled his usual mockingly innocent, yet perverted, smile and then rubbed his fingers over her stomach slowly. She soon started to purr.

"Wouldn't you like to transform back? Just for a little while? Hmm… Yoruichi-san?"

"I can't." She sighed, sitting back up. "Ichigo and Ishida are down there for that training you wanted them to do, remember?"

"Ah, yes. Well…how about you transform just for a little kiss?" He reached over to the little box again, and took out the last piece of candy. "How about another chocolate?" He stood at his full height and held up chocolate in front of his face as if regarding it critically. "Do you want it?"

The cat's eyes widened, and she watched the chocolate as he moved it closer to his nose to smell, and then moved it out toward her by only a few inches. She licked her lips, and nodded, transfixed on the candy, watching every movement. He smiled widely and moved the chocolate closer to his mouth.

"Kisuke?" She inched closer, her eyes never leaving the candy.

He laughed manically and took a couple steps away from the lab table. Slowly he brought the candy closer to his mouth and held it in his teeth.

"Kisuke!" The cat yelped, half mesmerized, half enrage and leapt at him, transforming in mid-air. She barreled into his chest.

Urahara doubled over to keep from laughing and pulled Yoruichi closer, wrapping his coat around her. She bit off a piece of the chocolate he held between his teeth. "You are right," he said while chewing his half of the candy. "This is very good chocolate."

She nodded emphatically, kissing him as soon as she swallowed it. She nibbled a bit of chocolate off his lips. "Shouldn't let any go to waste. Now…" she looked at him critically. "Tell me? What have you done to it?"

Urahara gasped with mock innocence and hurt. "Whatever do you mean Yoruichi-san?"

"You know what I mean…I know you. And so I know it can't be normal soul candy. Makes me wonder if it's actually some kind of extra strength aphrodisiac."

Urahara sulked a moment, then grinned widely once again. "It's new and improved soul candy. It melts in your mouth, has no unpleasant taste, and works with a sort of time-released effect. In my last test, it lasted several hours before the sort of mirror soul that was created separated from the gigai. And, it's supposed to be more effective than the average gigai. This gigai takes on the personality of the shinigami who uses it. It 'mirrors' the shinigami."

"I'm sure little Toushiro will love that. After the last one he got he'll probably think anything is an improvement."

"Yes, it was rather whiney, wasn't it."

"No, that was Toushirou when he came back to complain. But, yes the gigai was whiny, too."

"Told you! And that wasn't entirely my fault, those were special ordered." Urahara paused and gazed down at Yoruichi wrapped tightly against him. "Make sure you go put some clothes on before you go back down here."

"Right. Anything else special about the new one?"

"Well…" Urahara hesitated a moment.

"Kisuke…" Yoruichi warned.

"I'm not entirely sure what the shinigami's gigai will be capable of."

"What does that mean…?" She gave the scientist a piercing glare. "What can it do then?"

Urahara sighed deeply and slumped forward, resting his elbows on the lab table, his chin in his hands. "That's the problem, I don't know. I need test subjects. Ichigo's body just won't do anymore."

"I might have the perfect subjects for you."

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