Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or Pirates of the Caribbean. Shame, that.

Unexpected Detour

Hi folks! kittylover1890 here. This fic is set during the first Ranma ½ movie. I got this idea after seeing POTC3 3 times. This story guest stars Davy Jones from POTC 2 and 3. What would happen if, during the sea voyage to China, not only Kuno's boat, but Lychee's as well, broke apart, and our heroes were stranded at sea?! And then guess who shows up to "save the day"… Will Ranma get to Nekonron in time? Or will he and the others spend eternity in slavery on the Flying Dutchman?! And moreover, will Davy Jones realize the mistake he's made adding Ranma and company to the crew?! We pick up during the sea voyage to China.

And so our heroes' ordeal begins….

Chapter One: Rescue? I Think Not

Happosai, after the impact of Lychee's bullhorn, landed flat on the deck of Lychee's junk. Jasmine, her pet elephant, lifted her foot high, casting an ominous shadow over Happosai.

"Jasmine!" Lychee ordered.

"Finish him!" Soun Tendo yelled.

"Do it!" Ranma, in his girl-type form, yelled.

Crush him! the sign held by Ranma's father, Genma, in panda form, read.

Jasmine's foot came down, but went straight down through the deck, missing Happosai entirely.

Happosai jumped to his feet, shaking an indignant fist at his disciples. "Is this what you think of your master?!"

Suddenly, water began to spray up from the gouge in the deck left by Jasmine. Instantly it became a geyser of water.

"Oh, no! At this rate, the ship is going to sink!" Happosai yelled, panicked. Then he noticed Ranma, Genma, and Soun glaring daggers at him.

They leapt onto Happosai, clobbering him mercilessly.

"This is all your fault, old man!" Ranma yelled.

"Stop! Ship is breaking up! Stop!!" Lychee yelled.

"Oh, too late…" Ryoga said, his face paling as he watched the deck break apart beneath his feet.

With an explosion of water, the junk splintered apart, scattering the passengers into the sea,

Ranma clung to what was left of the deck. "Oy… What the hell happened? Where's the ship?"

Kuno swam up, grabbing him in an embrace. "Oh, Pigtailed Girl! Thank goodness you're safe!"

Ranma socked him in the face, causing him to sink. "Idiot," he grumbled. Then he swiveled his head, looking for the others. "Mr. Tendo! Pop! Shampoo! Ryoga! Mousse! Lychee! Old man! You all right?!" he called.

Ranma sweatdropped to see Jasmine somehow still afloat. It'll figure, if the elephant and the old man survive, but no one else does. I see him clinging to Jasmine's back there.

Slowly the group made its way to Ranma, who kept calling for them. They treaded water beside the deck remains.

Ranma glared at Happosai. "Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Yeah. This all your fault, old man!" Lychee scowled.

Ryoga, as P-chan, Mousse, in his duck form, and Shampoo in her cat form scowled at Happosai. Genma, as a panda, also looked angry.

"We're really in a pickle now," Soun spoke up. "We're out here in the middle of the ocean with no boat." He sighed. "Now what do we do?"

Genma nodded.

As if in answer, they heard something approaching behind them. They turned to see a ship with sails headed toward them, shrouded in shadow.

They watched it approach, getting a good look at it. Several of them scrambled up onto the remains of the deck.

The ship approaching was one of those old fashioned sailing ships from pirate days; it had a skeleton lashed to its bowsprit; the prow looked for all the world like a crocodile's open jaws. The entire hull was encrusted with barnacles, seaweed, and other ocean life.

"What the hell kind of ship is that?" Ranma asked. He'd fished a brazier and a teapot out of the wreckage somehow and was heating seawater to be male again.

"I have bad feeling," said Lychee quietly.

"Tell me about it," said Ranma.

The ship came to a halt in front of them. For a second nothing happened.

The next second they were surrounded by what looked sea monsters. The men surrounding them were half-human, half-sea creature.

One of them, carrying chain shot, his face encrusted with barnacles, stepped forward. "Down on your marrowbones and pray!" he commanded. Then he looked at the motley crew gazing up at him. "What in hell…?" he asked. "They're all animals."

"Animals?" asked another man, this one with a hammerhead shark's head.

"There be only four humans among them."

"Hey! We're all human! Well, 'cept the elephant, but… anyways, I'm really a guy!" Ranma threw in.

"Are you now?" came another voice, this one with a Scottish burr to it.

"Huh?" Ranma turned to see the new speaker. "Whoa!" he yelled upon seeing him.

This new man was over a foot taller than Ranma. A beard of tentacles hung from his chin. One hand was a giant crab claw.. One leg was naught but whalebone. Cold blue eyes bored into Ranma's.

"You look very feminine to me," the man said, gesturing with his right hand. The pointer finger was a long tentacle.

"Well, I am a guy," said Ranma irritably. "I'm telling you. Just wait till this water finished heating up. You'll see."

"Humph. If you're so masculine, well, what man walks around half-naked?" the tentacled man gestured down at Ranma's legs.

Ranma looked down. His legs were bare; clearly he'd lost his pants in the breakup of the junk. "Great," he groaned. At least he'd held onto his shoes somehow. He glared at the tentacled man. "Who the hell are you, anyway? What ship is that? What do you want with us?"

The man laughed an unctuous, deep chuckle. "Don't you know, bein' seafarers?"

"I don't go to sea much," Ranma retorted. "None of us do." He reached down seeing the teapot steaming. He was knocked out of the way by Genma. "Hey!"

Genma, Mousse, Shampoo, and Ryoga leapt on it, pulling at it. The porcelain pot shattered, spraying hot water all over them- but missing Ranma.

"You jerks! That was my water!" Ranma yelled.

"Well, you should've offered to share in the first place!" Ryoga retorted.

"You think we want these guys to see us like that?" Mousse yelled.

"Don't be so selfish, boy!" Genma admonished.

"I'm selfish? Who pushed me out of the way?" Ranma yelled back.

"How you no can share with Shampoo?!"

"Stop it, all of you! Now is not time to fight!" Lychee chastised.

"I agree!" said the tentacled man, sneering at them.

"'Scuse me, this is our private argument, not yours!" Ranma spun around. He looked the man over. "Man. What spring did you fall into?"

"Spring?" An eyebrow went up.

"Duh. At Jusenkyo, the cursed training ground. What spring did you fall into, the 'spring of drowned squid and crab'?" Ranma sneered. "If that's possible?"

The tentacled man scowled. He reached out and grabbed Ranma's throat in his claw. "You've got spirit, wench. Spirit I'd love to break."

"Who are you callin' a wench, you… monster?" Ranma retorted.

"I take that as a compliment," the man sneered. "The ship before you is the Flying Dutchman."

Lychee shivered, hugging herself. "Flying Dutchman? Fishermen in Lychee village talk of that ship! Ship ferries souls of man what die at sea to underworld!"

"Aye, that be it, lass," said the man silkily. He released Ranma.

"Wait. If that's the Flying Dutchman, then you must be-" Mousse pointed.

"Davy Jones!" the others yelled.

"The same," said Jones calmly. "So, then. It seems you lot are in a bit of a situation. Lost and without a ship, without provisions, no idea where you are-"

"We do so know where we are! The East China Sea!" Ranma piped up.

"But do you know where you are on the East China Sea?"

No one spoke.

"I thought so. Where were you heading before this… unfortunate incident?"

"Nekonron. We've got business with Kirin, the prince of Nekonron." Ryoga spoke up.

"Is that so?" Jones looked thoughtful, even vaguely interested. "Well, methinks you won't be getting there after all."

"Why say you, foul creature?" Kuno pointed his wooden sword at him.

Jones glared at him. "Just look around you. Your ship is in ruins, and you have no idea where you are going. It seems you are all doomed."

"We do so know where we're going! We just have to get to China. Well, first." Ranma growled. "Then we can get where we're going."

"Again, not a possibility. Not if you're lost at sea with no provisions."

"Well, he is right. We can't very well float to China on this debris. And Philippine pirates sail these waters." Genma said.

"Pop!" Ranma turned to scowl at him.

"Ai-ya! We in much trouble!" Shampoo cried. "We all die out here!"

Jones gave a sickly smile. "Good. Now that you all know the seriousness of your situation, I offer you a choice. Join my crew, and you'll be saved from death. Come aboard the Dutchman, and you'll not die out here, lost and starving, as you surely will otherwise. One hundred years before the mast." He stomped up to Shampoo, who looked the most fearful. "Will ye serve?"

"Shampoo not want die out here!" she cried. "Shampoo serve."

Nodding, Jones moved to each one of them.

"Lychee will serve."

Jasmine gave a trumpet.

"Where Lychee go, Jasmine go." Lychee explained.

"I'll serve," said Mousse nervously.

"You think I wanna die out here? I'll serve, too!" Happosai said. "Especially if Ranma serves!" He gave Ranma a lecherous smile. Ranma shuddered.

"I-I will serve," Ryoga stammered.

Soun just nodded.

"Speak up!" Jones commanded.

"Yes," Soun said at last.

Satisfied, Jones moved on.

"If I won't go hungry, I'll serve, too," said Genma.

"Pop, do you always have to think about nothing but food?" Ranma groaned.

"In fact, in exchange for a constantly full stomach, I offer you my s- uh, daughter Ranma's hand in mar-"

MOOSH! Ranma stomped down on Genma's head, silencing him. "Shut it, Pop," Ranma growled.

"Any death but one in battle would be unworthy of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. I will serve." said Kuno firmly.

Jones stopped in front of Ranma. "Well, that just leaves you, Miss-"

"Mister Ranma Saotome."

"Miss Saotome. Will ye serve, or die out here alone?"

Ranma sighed, clenching his fists. "Seems I've got no choice. Fine." he said. "I'll serve."

"There!" said Jones, giving a grin. "Hop to, all of you! Get them aboard the ship and take them to the brig until they are assigned duties!" Jones ordered his crew.

Maccus, the shark-headed first mate, spoke up. "What about the elephant?"

Jones sighed. "I don't know. Pen it up on the main deck somehow!"

"Don't worry," Ranma looked at the others. :"We'll find a way out of this."

"Get movin', the lot a'ya!" Maccus ordered, stomping on the deck of the ruined junk.

The deck shook; Shampoo gave an "Ai-ya!" and dropped into the sea.

Ranma gave a yell as Shampoo, in cat form, leapt out of the water, right at him. She hooked her claws into Ranma's red shirt.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Ranma screamed. He leaped form the junk's deck to the Dutchman, leaping through the rigging, trying to dislodge Shampoo. "Get it offa me!"

The crew guffawed at this merry sight. All except Jones, who sighed, covering his face with his hand.

This was a mistake, I can just tell, he thought.

Next: Duty assignments!

Okay, folks, that was chappie one! I know, the whole teapot thing was random, but Ranma itself is random! After all, Akane can pull mallets out of nowhere to clobber Ranma; so I assume it's okay for Ranma to find a teapot and brazier in a shipwreck. The Dutchman crew I use in this fic is the one from the movies; I really am no good at making up new characters. R&R!!! No flames! See ya in cahppie two!