I will be
All that you want
And get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
As I heard those words come through the speakers of my baby, from some random station Sam had turned it to, I mulled over the words. My minds immediately thought of Cas. Yeah, at first it was just Sammy who had made me put one foot in front of the other and keep myself from falling apart. Then Castiel, angel of the Lord, came into my life.
At first, Cas was kind of awkward to be around. But, after I got to know him more, I began to see him in a different light. He was nice to be around, and it had been a while since I had last made a friend that I didn't have to worry about dying because of my lifestyle.
Time passed, and I began to see Castiel as part of the family me, Sam and Bobby had created. It was all nice, until Loki crashed into our lives.
I shook my head and smirked at the thought of Gabe, as Sam called him. Gabriel: archangel turned pagan trickster. When we first met, I immediately wanted to stake the son-of-a-bitch through the heart, but unfortunately he got away. When we crossed paths again, I noticed there was a new light in his eyes. That's when it hit me: he was looking at Sam like that.
I got Sam distracted so I could confront Gabriel. When I asked him what the fuck was going on, he said he had seen Sammy's soul, and his Grace just clicked with it. I stared disbelievingly at him. I just shook my head and made him swear never to hurt Sam. He did, and I dragged his ass back to the Impala, where Sam was waiting for us. He raised an eyebrow at me and Gabriel and I shook my head at him as I loaded Gabriel into the backseat and we drove away.
About five months later Sam came to me and confided that he had fallen in love with the Trickster. He seemed scared that I would smite his ass, but I just chuckled and told him to talk to Gabriel. He looked shocked, but complied nonetheless. About an hour later I was moving into a new room on the other side of the motel.
That was yesterday. Today, it was just me and my thoughts... and my baby. I smiled at the thought that Sam was finally happy. As I pulled back into the motel parking lot and got out of the car, I noticed a note taped to the door of my motel room. I walked slowly to the door,my hunter's instincts kicking in. I gingerly grabbed, opened and read the note:
Dean-o! Just wanted to let you know that Sammy and I should be... "occupied" for another 48 hours.
Gabriel
And Dean?
Thanks
My mouth tilted up a little at the note. Beneath the bullshit, Gabriel was actually a pretty good guy. As I unlocked the door and settled my ass on the bed to take off my shoes, I felt as if someone was watching me.
"Hello, Dean."
I turned my head quickly to the right and was rewarded with Castiel's blue eyes staring straight though me. I gave a start.
"Damn it, Cas! Do you not know the meaning of 'personal space'?"
Cas canted his head to the side, looking slightly like a confused puppy. I had to admit, he was pretty cute. My brain froze at the thought. Did I just call my best friend cute? That's when I realized something: Cas was looking at me the same way Gabriel looks at Sam. He had always looked at me like that.
My jaw fell slack at the revelation. That's when the mother of all epiphanies hit me in the gut: I loved Castiel. And it wasn't even sudden or anything. It had started the moment he caught my soul and raised it from hell. I wondered if his Grace connected to my soul the way Gabriel's did with Sam, but all of my brain cells died on me when I became aware that Cas had scooted closer to me and his lips were so close to mine. Castiel's eyes searched my face, looking for something that was only meant for him. He must have found it, because his eyes seemed to brighten before they slipped shut and he firmly pressed his lips to mine.
I immediately responded to the kiss, trying to convey through the kiss how much I needed this. How much I needed him. He must have gotten the message, but he pulled away. We were both breathing raggedly, and he rested his forehead against mine. Man, that was amazing. I opened my eyes at the same time he did and was rewarded with a look of wonderment in his eyes. At that I had to smile.
He looked at me with a question in his eyes, asking me for permission without actually asking. I felt a wave of heat roll through me, and I nodded slightly. His answering smile was dazzling.
He pushed me back against the crappy motel bed. We removed each other's clothes slowly, savoring each moment we had. When we were finally naked, Cas began to do things to me no one had ever done before. As we moved together, or bodies, minds and souls entwined, I finally knew the difference between having sex with someone, and making love with them.