Hogwarts's Award Ceremony
By Breetanya (the sick)
AN: Welcome one, welcome all. I don't feel well so I'm writing a parody! Must I tell everyone??? I am actually J.K. Rowlings who is sick of writing legitimate Harry Potter books so I'm just writing fan fiction. *J.K. Rowlings apparates to the living room looking murderous.* Oh, hello J.K. Of course I wasn't going to put that! Of course I don't own Harry Potter or anything that has to do with it. Can I buy Harry, Hermione, and Ron from you??? $9,000,000??????? Guess not…
"Welcome seventh years. I am sure you are all glad that your NEWTS are finally over," Professor Dumbledore said to Harry's class.
Although that statement was met with much applause and cheers, Hermione, as always complained she thought she messed up on the most advance part, which earned her a couple of glares.
"But today we are handing out awards for the most outlandish things that should give us all a few laughs," Dumbledore continued. "The first award is to the student who sucked up to the teachers the most…"
While the Slytherins, were coughing 'Granger,' the rest of the 7th years were coughing 'Malfoy.' "And the winner is…" Dumbledore said grandly. "Draco Malfoy!"
While all but the Slytherins laughed and applauded, Malfoy slinked up to get his trophy, which were a pair of bronze lips that kept puckering up.
"Now the next award goes to the student, or students, as the case may be, who have visited the Hospital Wing the most since coming here…" Dumbledore said.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione all looked at each other. The way they figured it, they were all in the Hospital Wing the same amount of times through various Quidditch, Slytherin, and Voldemort situations. Although, they had some hope that Neville had broken their record with his pure clumsiness. "The winners of this award are Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley."
Apparently Neville didn't quite break the record. The four of them went up to get their statues of bronze bandages that kept being pulled off a bronze arm, in good nature, and of course Ron egging them on.
"Now, the next award isn't something anyone should be proud of, unless of course you want to be like Fred and George Weasley, or the Marauders," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Bet you it's the rule breaking one," Ron snickered to Harry. Hermione immediately hushed Ron.
"You know, we might win that one too…" Harry said quietly.
Hermione's eyes went wide with the realization that that very well could be true.
"This award goes to the ones who broken the most rules in the past seven years. Rather ironic that all of them were winners of the Sickbay award," Dumbledore said. Hermione groaned putting her head in her hands. "As you might have guessed, its Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley."
Harry and Ron dragged Hermione up on stage to collect their statues of a ruler being broken over and over again. "And these two are HEAD BOY AND HEAD GIRL!" Ron crowed with laughter while he was on stage. This of course made everyone present burst out with laughter. EVEN McGolangal who was looking on at the scene with a bemused look on her face.
"This next one goes to the person who got stuck in the trick stair cases the most," Dumbledore said after the laughter died down. Neville was already getting up. "And I see our winner knows who he is. Come on up Neville!" Neville got his statue of a foot being put in and out of a trick stair good-naturedly.
"Now this next award goes to the people who have lost the most amount of points in the past seven years…" Dumbledore said.
"Us again," Harry said.
"Yup," Ron agreed.
"Why did I become friends with you two?" Hermione groaned good-naturedly.
"Cause we knocked out the mountain troll that was going to kill you," Harry replied.
"They are the winners of the rule breaking award also. Come back up here you three," Dumbledore said trying to repress his laughter. They made up this award ceremony years ago, it certainly wasn't something they made up to embarrass the three Gryffindors, it just seemed to work out that way. They were taking it in good stride, but the Slytherins seemed angry that they really didn't care.
The trio went up, accepted their award of the bronze hourglass with the sand going down in it. Again they weren't really bothered by it.
As soon as they got back to their seats Dumbledore said, "Now I'm giving the award for the most points earned in the past seven years."
Malfoy was preparing to get up when Dumbledore said, "Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, please come back up here."
All but the Slytherins burst out into hysterical fits of laughter as they went up to collect the bronze glass hours with the sand going up.
The trio went back down to sit with the other Gryffindors when Dumbledore said, "The next award is for the people who have gone into the forbidden forest the most."
Harry, Hermione, and Ron all stood up again. Although it seemed like Harry would win but Hermione and Ron went to the forbidden forest once to pick up something for Hagrid, while Harry was in the hospital wing, and Ron went alone once to drag Fred and George back. Not to mention the times they all went in together. First year with Hermione and Harry went in as punishment. Second year Harry and Ron went in as detectives. Third year Hermione and Harry with Buckbeak. Fourth year, they astounded everyone by staying out of the forest. The fifth year Ron dragged Fred and George back. Sixth year Hermione and Ron went in to find something. Then in their seventh year, they went in 3 times so far. And they still had a week of school left. "Well as you can see, they know who they are…" Dumbledore said laughing. "Come up. I hope you brought your bags."
They went up to get Bronze statues of a miniature forest with eyes showing up in different places.
"This award goes to the people who looked the most like Moss Covered Boulders…" Dumbledore said. "Honestly I have no idea how this got in here, but would Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle please come up here?"
Crabbe and Goyle, who were unaware they were being mocked joyfully went up to get their statues of moss covered boulders.
Dumbledore cleared his throat once Crabbe and Goyle sat down, "And the next award is…"
AN:
Okie…
This is the ending for now…
I ran out of ideas for awards.
If you have any ideas, please give them to me…
I hope you liked it.
I wrote this a while ago when I was, as I said, sick…
By Breetanya (the sick)
AN: Welcome one, welcome all. I don't feel well so I'm writing a parody! Must I tell everyone??? I am actually J.K. Rowlings who is sick of writing legitimate Harry Potter books so I'm just writing fan fiction. *J.K. Rowlings apparates to the living room looking murderous.* Oh, hello J.K. Of course I wasn't going to put that! Of course I don't own Harry Potter or anything that has to do with it. Can I buy Harry, Hermione, and Ron from you??? $9,000,000??????? Guess not…
"Welcome seventh years. I am sure you are all glad that your NEWTS are finally over," Professor Dumbledore said to Harry's class.
Although that statement was met with much applause and cheers, Hermione, as always complained she thought she messed up on the most advance part, which earned her a couple of glares.
"But today we are handing out awards for the most outlandish things that should give us all a few laughs," Dumbledore continued. "The first award is to the student who sucked up to the teachers the most…"
While the Slytherins, were coughing 'Granger,' the rest of the 7th years were coughing 'Malfoy.' "And the winner is…" Dumbledore said grandly. "Draco Malfoy!"
While all but the Slytherins laughed and applauded, Malfoy slinked up to get his trophy, which were a pair of bronze lips that kept puckering up.
"Now the next award goes to the student, or students, as the case may be, who have visited the Hospital Wing the most since coming here…" Dumbledore said.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione all looked at each other. The way they figured it, they were all in the Hospital Wing the same amount of times through various Quidditch, Slytherin, and Voldemort situations. Although, they had some hope that Neville had broken their record with his pure clumsiness. "The winners of this award are Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley."
Apparently Neville didn't quite break the record. The four of them went up to get their statues of bronze bandages that kept being pulled off a bronze arm, in good nature, and of course Ron egging them on.
"Now, the next award isn't something anyone should be proud of, unless of course you want to be like Fred and George Weasley, or the Marauders," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Bet you it's the rule breaking one," Ron snickered to Harry. Hermione immediately hushed Ron.
"You know, we might win that one too…" Harry said quietly.
Hermione's eyes went wide with the realization that that very well could be true.
"This award goes to the ones who broken the most rules in the past seven years. Rather ironic that all of them were winners of the Sickbay award," Dumbledore said. Hermione groaned putting her head in her hands. "As you might have guessed, its Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley."
Harry and Ron dragged Hermione up on stage to collect their statues of a ruler being broken over and over again. "And these two are HEAD BOY AND HEAD GIRL!" Ron crowed with laughter while he was on stage. This of course made everyone present burst out with laughter. EVEN McGolangal who was looking on at the scene with a bemused look on her face.
"This next one goes to the person who got stuck in the trick stair cases the most," Dumbledore said after the laughter died down. Neville was already getting up. "And I see our winner knows who he is. Come on up Neville!" Neville got his statue of a foot being put in and out of a trick stair good-naturedly.
"Now this next award goes to the people who have lost the most amount of points in the past seven years…" Dumbledore said.
"Us again," Harry said.
"Yup," Ron agreed.
"Why did I become friends with you two?" Hermione groaned good-naturedly.
"Cause we knocked out the mountain troll that was going to kill you," Harry replied.
"They are the winners of the rule breaking award also. Come back up here you three," Dumbledore said trying to repress his laughter. They made up this award ceremony years ago, it certainly wasn't something they made up to embarrass the three Gryffindors, it just seemed to work out that way. They were taking it in good stride, but the Slytherins seemed angry that they really didn't care.
The trio went up, accepted their award of the bronze hourglass with the sand going down in it. Again they weren't really bothered by it.
As soon as they got back to their seats Dumbledore said, "Now I'm giving the award for the most points earned in the past seven years."
Malfoy was preparing to get up when Dumbledore said, "Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, please come back up here."
All but the Slytherins burst out into hysterical fits of laughter as they went up to collect the bronze glass hours with the sand going up.
The trio went back down to sit with the other Gryffindors when Dumbledore said, "The next award is for the people who have gone into the forbidden forest the most."
Harry, Hermione, and Ron all stood up again. Although it seemed like Harry would win but Hermione and Ron went to the forbidden forest once to pick up something for Hagrid, while Harry was in the hospital wing, and Ron went alone once to drag Fred and George back. Not to mention the times they all went in together. First year with Hermione and Harry went in as punishment. Second year Harry and Ron went in as detectives. Third year Hermione and Harry with Buckbeak. Fourth year, they astounded everyone by staying out of the forest. The fifth year Ron dragged Fred and George back. Sixth year Hermione and Ron went in to find something. Then in their seventh year, they went in 3 times so far. And they still had a week of school left. "Well as you can see, they know who they are…" Dumbledore said laughing. "Come up. I hope you brought your bags."
They went up to get Bronze statues of a miniature forest with eyes showing up in different places.
"This award goes to the people who looked the most like Moss Covered Boulders…" Dumbledore said. "Honestly I have no idea how this got in here, but would Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle please come up here?"
Crabbe and Goyle, who were unaware they were being mocked joyfully went up to get their statues of moss covered boulders.
Dumbledore cleared his throat once Crabbe and Goyle sat down, "And the next award is…"
AN:
Okie…
This is the ending for now…
I ran out of ideas for awards.
If you have any ideas, please give them to me…
I hope you liked it.
I wrote this a while ago when I was, as I said, sick…