A/N an Angsty experience of mine I had to vent. Using Miley and Lily.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the confusing plot, which unfortunately is very much my own.
Words don't really mean anything to me right now. It's not about the words…not anymore.
She's yelling, I know that much
She's Crying, I can tell.
She's breaking, I can feel it.
Her words are fast, rushed, blurred in my mind. The only thing I'm getting from her mouth is pain. It sounds like every single breath she takes is killing her; thinking about it, it was probably was.
"I should do something". Finally! A coherent thought, but what can I do? , what can I possibly achieve by stopping her yelling and her crying .I try to focus , maybe if I can just figure out exactly what's wrong , maybe then I can fix it. I look at her now, my head no longer staring at the ground, shying away.
"I …I .Need …I need to…to leave, Yes, Yes I need to leave because …I ...I need…I" She's not talking to me anymore, I am just another feature of the room as far as she is concerned, she's making small steps in different directions almost as if her brain and her legs are thinking two very different things and are clashing in there battle to control her body.
She is scaring me now, before I was worried …now I am terrified. Her words are beating down my walls of denial- seeping through the cracks that all her thoughts that she only voiced in the dead of the night had made.
As she makes a significant move to the door, my frozen body jumps into life at the possible thought of her leaving. If one thing was clear from what she was saying it was that I could never let her go.
"Miley…Miles" My voice cracks at end. But my feeble attempt of stopping her makes her hesitate. She looks up, as if only just remembering I was their. I smile at her, well at least my brain tells my face to smile …because of the shock my body is still in at what might be happening my mouth still hasn't quite caught up.
"Lily" She says simply, this time stepping forward with confidence and purpose. She's coming closer, now we are face to face. My heart stops…panic rising through my whole body.
No, I'm not looking at Miley. My Miley had blue eyes that sparkled.
My Miley had sun-tanned skin that glowed
My Miley had brown wavy hair that blew and tangled in the wind
My Miley had a big, full, beautiful smile that could light up the whole world.
Now that I'm really looking at her for the first time, I see her. I see what she has become.
I am not quite sure what to say.
This isn't My Miley, this is Dead Miley.
Gray lifeless eyes.
Sallow pale skin.
Flat dry hair.
A taut mouth that looks like it would never be capable of doing anything other than screaming…certainly no smiling.
Her skin is stretched over her cheek bones; her bones are visible beneath the thin layer of skin. She has lost a huge amount of weight. She is no longer healthy.
She is no longer here, with me. She is gone; she's been gone for a long time. I just didn't want to see it; I always knew someday she'd leave me. She was different, never completely happy with where she was. She holds my gaze, not blinking…I cant look,
There, she has won.
I turn my head away, the sight in front of me...too much for me to fathom.
"Good Bye." She whispers so softly I'm not so sure it was supposed to be heard, but it was and though it was said so quietly it was the strongest and firmest I have heard her voice in a long time.
I look at her again, one last time, I'm sure.
She turns away... Opens the door. The cold air momentarily rushes in. She doesn't look back. The door slams. There, she is gone.
Tears don't fall, Pain is replaced by numb. All I know is her eyes used to sparkle.