Yeah, I messed up. So what? Things weren't going to get any better, anyway. So now here I am, driving in a my car with no one to keep me company but a liquor bottle. Everything and everyone I ever cared about has moved on the better things, things that won't break so easily, leaving me behind. I climbed so high, only to sink to the very bottom. All I have now is vague memories of compliments whispered to me and the taste of liquor on my tongue.

I remember when I met Zeus. He gave me everything I ever wanted, but he never gave me what I needed. Far from it, in fact.

I was sitting in my dressing room, frowning into the vanity's mirror. No matter how much I lipstick I applied, no matter how many plucks of my eyebrows, no matter how much sparkly jewels I wore, I was never satisfied with my appearance. They always told me I was beautiful, but I could never bring myself to believe anyone. Words were one thing, but actions were another. It would take more than someone telling me I was beautiful to convince me. If they really thought so, they would need to prove it.

Looks and charm had their effects, but if you wanted me, you were gonna have to come up with something more. A handsome face can only go so far without something shiny to go with it.

I heard a knock at my door and sighed.

"Who is it?" I snapped. To my great annoyance, the intruder neglected to answer my question and entered my dressing room anyway. I tried to ignore them, but I vaguely noticed a tall figure in my mirror, obscured by my own reflection.

A silky voice pulled me from my indifference immediately. It was almost like being shocked awake.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, Ms. Grace," The man's voice was calm and violent at the same time, somehow. "but I was hoping to get an autograph." I turned around to study the man. He wore a suede suit and polished, black shoes. Blonde hair grew in soft, well-kempt waves on his head. I didn't fail to notice a gold watch around his wrist, either.

I titled my head in curiosity. When I looked at him from a distance, his eyes appeared to reflect the light, yet it was much brighter than the dim lighting provided. I realized I was staring, and quickly directed my gaze back to my reflection. I picked up a hairbrush and tugged the bristles through my overly hair-sprayed curls, trying my best to look as uninterested possible. "Of course, who should I make this out to?"

I was startled by his reply, finding him to be directly behind me.

"Zeus. Your biggest fan,"

I clenched the brush and turned around. His eyes flashed blindingly in front of mine. It was almost like looking out a window in the dead of the night and watching lighting rage before me. The flashes swirled around in a black oblivion, frighteningly beautiful.

I took a breath and regained my composure. Releasing the hairbrush from an iron grip, I grabbed a pen and smiled at him.

"Of course Zeus. Anything for my biggest fan."

He bought me whatever I wanted. A new car? Jewelry? Clothes? Anything I could ever ask for, Zeus gave it to me.

Zeus told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that no one could compare to me. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

In my life, the words "need" and "want" teetered on a fine, white line. There was what the conceited monster inside of me needed, and there was what I really needed. Even after all these years, I'm not quite sure what I wanted.

Pride doesn't even begin to explain how I felt when he revealed his true identity. It was something much stronger. Something that threatened to consume me.

We were sitting outside his penthouse apartment in New York, where he took me every summer. The sky was overcast and gloomy, not a very romantic setting, but he seemed to like it. His eyes shone-literally-in the moonlight, as he stole a glance at me, balancing a wine glass in one hand and a little Tiffany's box in the other. He winked at me and set down his glass. He held out the box leaned forward, whispering,

"For the most beautiful girl in the world."

He leaned back again, nodding towards my gift.

I slowly reached for the box, trying not to look too eager. I grasped it, feeling the silk beneath my fingers. I stroked the outside with my carefully manicured nails with mock hesitation. I looked up at Zeus, and sent him a shy smile, doing my best to conceal the greed in my eyes.

I lifted the lid to reveal a sparkling diamond necklace. I gasped, clutching my chest dramatically.

"Oh Zeus, my darling," I bit my lip, as if I just couldn't find the words to express my love. "You always know what to get me. You're the best a girl could ever ask for."

Zeus smiled. "More than you know, my sweet."

I frowned. "Zeus, you know I don't like it when you talk like that. Like you're telling a riddle."

Zeus chuckled and patted my cheek. "Of course, Amanda," (She sounds like an Amanda, doesn't she?) "What I'm meaning to say is, I'm not who you think."

My frown deepened and I furrowed my brow. What did he mean? Was he, like, some drug cartel or whatever? Did he murder people then steal their fortunes? Maybe that's where he got all his money… I just couldn't stand the thought of returning my gifts if they were stolen. I mean, a gift is a gift, no matter how you get it, right? I deserved them. Didn't I?

If he expected me to play some kind of "Bonnie and Clyde" game with him, then he had another thing coming. My frantic thoughts were interrupted by another chuckle.

"Don't fret, Amanda. I'm not any of those things." He picked up the glass again and took a sip, staring with a bored look in his eyes out onto the skyline.

I sighed with relief. Maybe he was Canadian or something, or-wait. How had he known I was thinking those things?

I jumped from my seat, knocking the wine glass right out of his hand. I didn't even stop to glance at it as it descended to the ground and shattered, spilling its contents all over the place.

"I know! You're a mind reader! Um, about those things I was thinking about your checkered tie, I swear I didn't mean-"

I stopped once I belatedly realized that he was going through a fit of laughter.

I huffed and crossed my arms, cheeks burning. "Well then, who-what are you?"

Zeus held his arms out, still sitting, and pulled me into a hug. I kept my arms crossed, but couldn't help but get lost in his enchanting eyes.

"Amanda," He looked me square in the face, all traces of laughter gone.

"I'm a God."

I stood there and stared at him blankly.

Nope. Not a criminal. Just insane.

Zeus winked and motioned for me to watch.

He turned to the broken glass and snapped his fingers. When nothing happened, I looked at him questioningly. I was about to ask him what was the point of that and what he was playing at, but he shook his head and pointed at the glass again. I gasped at what met my eyes when I looked back.

Slowly, the wine seeped back in from all the directions it had spilled while the glass simultaneously pieced itself back together, fragment by fragment.

After a moment of starting and stopping sentences, I fell silent and stared at Zeus. He bent down and retrieved the glass, wine and all, and took a dainty sip.

"So, you believe me now?"

"…"

"Amanda?"

I shook myself from the trance I was in and nodded, curls bouncing. "So, I mean, are you like-" I couldn't finish my thought. My head was spinning.

"Like I said, my name is Zeus," He spoke slowly, making sure I was following. "But, I am THE Zeus, you see. King of the Gods? Lord of the skies?"

He bit his lip nervously. "I wasn't sure if I should tell you or not. Its not exactly…safe to reveal my identity to a mortal, but I figured you would understand-" he trailed off.

Yes. Yes, I definitely understood. In fact, I was already thinking of what this would mean for the future. If I could maintain his love and Zeus and I married, would I become a goddess?

Zeus cringed slightly as I thought that, and I wondered why. When he noticed my confusion, he quickly worked to change the subject.

"That little trick with the wine glass is nothing. I AM the Lord of the skies, after all," he sent me a smirk and raised his gaze to the sky. As he lifted his arms, a bright streak of lightening flashed across the sky, making me jump.

I gasped and clapped my hands. "That's amazing! I always knew there was something different about you," I smiled and giggled giddily.

Zeus's smile grew as he reached forward to embrace me. And as our lips met, a great rumble of thunder sounded. I smiled through the kiss, my heart soaring. I was so high up, so far gone, and little did I know, I was going to fall so hard.

I needed to be told that I was perfect. I needed to be loved. The urge for attention was more than I could handle. Zeus was more than I could handle.

Every compliment rooted itself in my mind, making me question how genuine it was. Making me wonder if Zeus really loved me like he said he did.

He promised it was the truth. He said he would love me forever.

I thought he was making me stronger. Making me more beautiful.

In truth, he was destroying me. His "love" tore me down. My craving for attention escalated to a dangerous height in the presence of Zeus.

"And I mean, I tell him he doesn't have to make such a fuss over me, but he just cant stop, you know? But its not like its my fault, I can't help the effect I have on men," I babble on to my assistant and makeup artist, not caring at all if they're listening or not.

I was sitting on the set of the television show I starred in, getting my makeup done and boasting about my relationship with Zeus. The makeup artist kept glancing at me strangely, nodding every once in a while. My assistant was just standing there, trying not to anger me.

The two women glanced at each other warily, not sure who I was acknowledging.

"Well, Brittany?" I demand my assistant.

Her eyes widened, resembling two, large saucers and the makeup artist sighed with relief. "Of course, Ms. Grace. You do have your way of enchanting all those you meet."

I smiled, satisfied.

"But, um, Ms. Grace-" She trailed off and glanced around as if looking for witnesses.

I addressed her sharply, "Yes, Brittany?" My face dripped with false curiosity and I cocked my head to the side.

She cowered under my stare and shuffled uncomfortably.

"Its just, my name," Suddenly she inhaled and looked me straight in the eyes, face set in a hard determination, "My name isn't Brittany, its Barbara."

My temper flared and I sneered at her. I pushed the brush applying blush to my face away and leaned towards her.

I wiped the sneer off my face and I looked at her sympathetically.

"Well, Brittany," I spat. "I don't really see why its your place to correct ME," Barbara deflated a little, and I smirked triumphantly, but I wasn't done yet. I grabbed her chin and pressed my fingernails into her cheeks lightly, just hard enough to establish that I have the upper hand, yet not hard enough to draw blood. I stuck out my lower lip and tilted my head, expression sympathetic, but my eyes as cold and piercing as ice.

"Why sweetheart," I give her head a few little jerks somewhat aggressively, "I AM the only one with real authority here, after all. I, am an actress, and you-" I wrinkle my nose in disdain, "YOU are just a silly little assistant. Its my job to be pretty and its your job to fetch me coffee, kay?" My hand is still gripping her chin. "Because really, it takes a lot less effort for you to do my dirty work than it would for you to look pretty, honey," I flick a mousy lock of hair away from her face and sigh sadly.

"After all," I say brightly, "We need people like you to do the work for us pretty people, don't we?" I pat her cheek roughly and push her aside. I sit back in my chair and begin twirling my hair absentmindedly. I disregard her when she mumbles an apology, like a little bug that I've decided I can step on later.

I turn back to the makeup artist-Monica, I think was her name-and give her an annoyed look. "Well?" She cringes. "What are you waiting for? You're not being paid to stand there and do nothing!" She reaches hurriedly for the blush brush, but as she's picking it up, her movements slow and she flicks her eyes up to mine.

She stares at me with an unreadable expression, shock, fear, anger, maybe all of them. I gape back, dumfounded at her bluntness. Then an instant later her face returns to its normal closed up and brisk expression. I blink and stare at my feet, wondering if it was just my imagination.

Something about the way Monica looked at me haunted me. I feel something churn deep inside my stomach, a feeling I've taught myself to be immune to.

Guilt.

It had always been so easy to crush those weaker than myself under my thumb without being plagued with the guilt that should be automatic. It proved that I was bigger than everyone else. No one could shoot me down.

So I don't know what it was about the look that Monica gave me that perturbed me so greatly.

Maybe it was the fact that she dared to question me-even silently-when it was not her that I had not lashed out at.

It made me wonder, was I that much of a monster that Monica would stare at me in utter horror and disbelief?

That was probably the last I saw of my conscience. Before the monster inside of me swallowed my self-respect, my integrity, my confidence, and my empathy. I was too far down the throat of monster, threatening to be swallowed.

I huffed as I sat down at the coffee table of my apartment and began pulling at strands of my hair. My arms were crossed and a frown wrinkled my forehead. A million things were going through my head. What will Zeus think? Even worse…What will his WIFE think? I had just gotten used to the fact that the man I loved was married. But I knew better than to challenge Hera after what I'd heard of her.

As jealous and insecure as I was, I knew Hera was even more so. I quickly figured out not to say anything negative about Hera to Zeus because he wouldn't agree with me, in fear of angering his wife.

Everyday I told myself that it was I who Zeus loved more, because if he really loved Hera, why would he have fallen for me?

It had to be true. I wondered if Hera could read my mind all the way from Mount Olympus. If she could, well….

Lets just say it wouldn't be good. Maybe she just ignored me, to make the jealousy subside the slightest bit.

I could never do that. Jealousy makes me question myself, attack others, and feel about a foot tall.

It eats away at me that I'll always be second best to Hera. From the first time I saw Zeus's face when he mentioned her name, to the time I saw her in person, Hera was the only one who could conquer the monster inside me.

The only one who could make me realize the hopelessness of my self-reassurances.

She was a Goddess, his wife, Queen of the Gods. I couldn't compete with that.

What on earth would I do when Zeus finds out? What if he already knows? After all, he is the King of the Gods.

Would he run back to Hera and beg for forgiveness, or stay with me in my darkest time?

I think I knew the answer to that.

But I didn't want to believe it.

As charming and handsome as Zeus was, he was no knight in shining armor. He could make the Sky rumble for me, buy me endless riches, and make me feel beautiful, but at the end of the day, he would go running back to Hera and do anything to appease her anger.

I laughed bitterly at the thought of Zeus down here on Earth telling me I'm the most beautiful girl there's ever been, then going straight back to Olympus to tell Hera the same.

Zeus reacted better than I thought. He seemed to expect it. He didn't look surprised, or angry, or sad, or even happy at all. Just thoughtful.

He just calmly looked me in the eyes and told me take a seat.

Taking my hands in his, he said "Amanda. This child will be a demigod. And a powerful one at that," I smirked, but he acted like this was the worst news he could possibly deliver. "And in order for a demigod to be safe, his or her scent must be kept concealed for as long as possible" What was he saying? "And to do so, the demigod must not know about their identity, as that makes their scent stronger. And with me around, that would be practically impossible."

I couldn't believe it. At that moment, I wasn't thinking about the well-being of my child, or the wrath or Hera, or really anything. Just the blood pumping through my veins and heat rushing to face, coloring it a furious scarlet.

"What are you talking about, Zeus? Because whatever it is, you just need to relax and listen to what you're saying. I mean I know this must be scary for you, but-"

"I'm sorry Amanda. Its for the best."

And with that, he was gone.

I named our daughter Thalia, after the daughter of Zeus and Mnemosyne, to remind me that Zeus has been unfaithful more than once. To remind myself that I was nothing but a piece in his game, a toy to play with when he got bored with his regular ones.

But never once did I not miss Zeus.

I tried to grow strong, tried to slay the monster inside of me, but I couldn't. He grew weaker, but his greed and rage pounded inside my chest at the thought of Zeus.

As Thalia grew older, she began to act so much like Zeus. And that's when my willpower crumbled.

If Zeus wouldn't love me, other people would. If Zeus wouldn't pay attention to me, my fans would.

I needed to be told that I was perfect. I needed to be loved. The urge for attention was more than I could handle. This was more than I could handle.

I began pulling stunts to capture the attention of the tabloids. Punching paparazzi, walking the streets drunk, starting cat fights with other desperate starlets. I'd do anything to be noticed.

Drugs and alcohol became a constant companion throughout my loneliness. I became even more famous-infamous is a better word-but nothing I did would change things. No number of diva tantrums or cat fights could satisfy my craving for attention, no amount of alcohol could quench my thirst for love. My drug abuse was obvious, but no one ever did anything. Not that I wanted them to. Maybe people knew and just didn't care. Or maybe my downfall was a source of entertainment to them.

Whatever it was, I was nearing rock bottom. Little things started to make cracks in whatever stability I held in my life. Like forgetting Thalia at daycare, crashing parties drunk, showing up with a new beau on my arm every other day.

I hated Zeus, but since there was nothing I could do about that, I hated Thalia instead, seeing as she was the closest thing. I made sure she knew I hated her, knowing that a girl as sharp as herself would be able to see through my façade easily. But instead of vying for my love and attention like I had done for Zeus, she embraced it. She took my blows with ease and grace, firing back harder with a hatred even stronger than my own.

So I hit harder, too. But I was weakened from this war.

And one day my walls fell down completely and I abandoned my cause in a split second.

He had come back.

All the hatred that I felt, all the nights I cursed his existence, this endless war I had fought, was all forgotten. All I could think about was how he still loved me and whether his return was out of pity or pain, I didn't care.

I remember a modestly dressed man with dark, black hair showing up at our door. Thalia stared at him wide eyed, and I knew she felt it too.

At first I was petrified. I could sense that this was the same man I had met in my dressing room so many years before, but at the same time, it wasn't. He had a serious feeling about him, like he was on business, running an errand that he had put off for some time. I was positively overjoyed, but why, I wasn't sure. I didn't know this man. Or at least I thought I didn't.

When I opened the door, he walked straight in, paying no heed to manners like always. He stopped and turned to look at me for a moment, then turned around to study his surroundings.

Suddenly feeling defensive, I snapped, "Can I help you?"

He looked at me with a surprised expression, as if he had forgotten I was there.

"Pardon my appearance Amanda, but these things do happen," He sent a blinding smile to a gaping Thalia who was hiding behind my legs. A million things were going through my head at that moment, and I just couldn't sort them out.

"May I ask what you're doing and who are you to be barging into my home?"

"I think you know, Amanda," he said with a smirk.

"Zeus…" It wasn't a question, more a statement.

"Sort of. Actually, I'm Jupiter, but there's no difference really. Just another day, another form."

Insanity. Insanity as always.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I questioned, my face set in a stony expression. It wasn't real. He was going to come, then leave just as fast. But I knew I couldn't send him away. The thought ate away at me right then and there.

"Nothing that matters, my dear," He replied.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. "So it's…it's really you?

"In the flesh."

Suspension. That's where I was. Not high enough to breathe, but not low enough to crash. I had some of my dignity left, barely a sliver, but more than before. I was more independent this time. I knew I had people depending on me, I had Thalia and myself to think about. I couldn't free fall again. Not this time.

Things worked well. It wasn't that parasitic relationship we had before. Zeus-Jupiter-whoever he was-seemed to genuinely care about Thalia. "Not enough to stay and raise her," the little voice in my head would say. But I pushed it away and tried to enjoy this state of mediocrity for as long as possible.

Terror. Pure Terror is what seized me when I found out I was pregnant with Jason.

I thought I would hyperventilate.

He was going to leave me.

Again.

Just like before.

When I told him the news, he took it differently then before. He wasn't solemn, he was panicked.

And I knew why. Hera.

Oh how angry she would be when she found out that Zeus betrayed her not only once, but twice. I knew very little about the family of Gods, but I knew that Hera was not the Goddess of forgiveness.

He said he wouldn't leave, but things would be different now. Things would change.

As for me, I heard nothing he said, except for the part where he said he wouldn't leave.

But if only I had listened to what Zeus-no, Jupiter-had said.

Hera seemed to gain hold of her temper and not turn me into a cow, but Jupiter urged me to name my child Jason, after her favorite mortal. I didn't mind just as long as he was safe and Jupiter stayed.

It was okay for a while. Jupiter would only visit, obviously out of pity, but at least he was here. With me. With us.

When he did come, he would bring candy for Thalia and make faces at Jason. He would whisper to them in strange words, words I had never heard before. Thalia would only look up at him in confusion and suck on a sweet, but as he grew older, Jason would watch him intently, as if receiving orders.

I didn't bother scolding him for spoiling Thalia's dinner, I was just so happy. But I wasn't completely content yet.

The monster lived in the deepest part of my heart, rarely stirring. But scorn lit fire to my heart, burning away the flimsy foundation holding my dignity.

I needed to be told that I was perfect. I needed to be loved. The urge for attention was more than I could handle. Jupiter was more than I could handle.

"Come on J, for me! Pretty please…" I pled with my lower lip stuck out. Thalia sat in the corner of the room brushing her doll's hair, looking bored. She had heard my pleas too many times, and the reply even more.

"Amanda, I'm begging you to, oh, how do the mortals say it? Drop it? Yes, do drop it. You know I can't do that. Mortals aren't allowed on Olympus."

"Well at least let me have eternal beauty. What's gonna happen when I get old and-dare I say it-get wrinkles, and you're still your handsome self?"

Jupiter sighed. "You know how this works, Amanda. And anyway, that's not my department. You're looking for Aphrodite."

I scrunched up my face and cocked my head. "Oh, forgive me. I thought you were supposed to be the KING of the Gods. But I guess even the king has limitations."

I knew I had struck a nerve. Whether he was Zeus or Jupiter, he had the pride of a lion and the stubbornness of a mule.

"I don't know what impression you're acting on, but I'll have you know-"

"What? That when it all comes down to it, you're no more powerful than a God like Dionysus? With his grapevines and all his glory?"

"Amanda, we are not playing this game," his face had turned a weird shade of red and his eyes crackled with lightning. "There are rules we all must abide by, because if we don't the fates will go-"

"Last time I checked, you made the rules oh powerful Sky God!"

"I have had enough of your insistent nagging. I have warned you multiple times before, Amanda!"

That's where the argument changed. Usually, Jupiter would throw his hands up, take a deep breath, pat Thalia on the head, and be off.

I should probably be proud of my feat. I actually managed to tick the Lord of the skies off beyond return, something even Juno (as I had now learned to call her) has rarely done.

"You are a mortal! A mere mortal!" Thalia looked up from her doll. "It's time you learned your place."

He pointed to Jason, sitting in his playpen, oblivious to the conflict around him. "Things are different for the Roman demigods. He must train. You cant keep him forever."

I said nothing.

Jupiter sighed and put his face in his hands. "I'm sorry it had to end this way, Amanda. But you leave me no other choice." He then turned to Jason and stroked his head, then kissed Thalia on her forehead. Thalia smiled and waved, though I could tell she knew something was off.

"Goodbye Amanda."

It was a bright clear morning, perfect picnic weather. Green scenery flashed in front of our eyes as we sped along the road. Thalia was sitting in the backseat with Jason, sending me wary looks from time to time. I knew she didn't trust me, it was obvious. Jason was swinging his legs against the back of the seat anxiously. The smell of a cigarette wafted through the car, and out my cracked window.

"Mommy, we gon' see bugies?" Bugs were Jason's current fascination, one of the few things he could actually process in his 2 year old mind.

"Sure thing, Jay Jay. Lots of 'em. But lets make sure not to let bugies get in our food, kay?"

"Okay Mommy," Jason replied obediently, though I doubted he had paid any mind to what I had said.

Thalia tore her gaze from the passing scenery to look at me suspiciously. My attitude was far from what it usually was. But today was special, I could feel it. I would try to make it at least a little bit enjoyable.

We never talked about Jupiter, and I doubt either one of my children really remembered who he was. Just a vague memory, lost in time.

When we pulled up into the parking lot, I stepped out and stared at the worn house in front of me. Leaving Thalia to get Jason out of his car seat, and walked from the car, being sure to lock it.

I took a few steps until I was standing in the middle of the parking lot, then turned around and called out impatiently, "Come on, Br-" I would be good. "Come on, kids."

Thalia led Jason as fast as his short legs would carry him, eventually coming to a stop next to me.

"Well, today should be a fun day, shouldn't it?"

"Yay! Fun, fun fun," Jason chanted. Thalia smiled down at him, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Lets go, chop chop," I ordered.

Once we reached the steps I realized I had forgotten the picnic basket. Weird, I don't even quite remember getting out of the car. But it had been only a few seconds ago…probably this new medicine I was taking.

"Thalia, I forgot the picnic basket. Go get it for me." I tossed her the keys which she caught clumsily, then looked at me nervously.

"Come on, you're wasting time. It'll only take you a few seconds."

She still seemed unsure, but went and jogged back to the car anyway.

I reached out to hold Jason's hand which he took gingerly, he could tell something was off about his mother's behavior too.

And as I opened my mouth to say something gentle, a wind blew across my face. Then, everything froze. The clouds stopped moving, the birds stopped singing, and the few people around us stopped talking. All my movements felt slow and syrupy, I inhalations were heavy and restricted.

"What's…happening…" I could barely draw the words from my mouth.

"It's time Amanda. Can't you feel it?" I turned around to face the rich voice that had just spoken to me. The voice was so smooth, almost as thick as the air. It must be an angel, I thought.

But alas, what met my eyes was a sight far from a miracle. Before me, cloaked and holding a long staff was Juno, Queen of the Gods.

"What are you doing here?" I asked fearfully, wondering if she was going to finally have her revenge.

"I'm here for the hero," she said, gesturing towards Jason.

"What? No! You can't do that," I spluttered, stepping protectively in front of Jason.

"Of course I can, silly mortal. Now step aside."

"Why are you taking him?"

"He is a Roman demigod. Therefore he must train to become a hero and bring pride to his camp and race."

"His what? He's only two, he can't train or whatever you said!"

"I have already warned you once, foolish mortal! Step aside!"

When I refused to budge, she lifted her staff and said, "Fine. Have it your way."

As she slammed her staff onto the ground, a blinding light erupted from the Goddess.

Blinded by the white light, I fell to my knees, trying to cover my eyes. When the light dissipated, I uncovered my eyes to see that time had resumed its normal pace and Juno was gone.

Along with Jason.

All the terror and loss of control I had felt in the past years of my life, sat on my shoulders at that moment.

I had lost and she had won. They had won.

I collapsed into a heap on the porch, sobbing, and could hear footsteps approaching fast.

"Mom! Mom! Where's Jason, what happened? Mom!" a voice screamed.

The voice belonged to Thalia who shook me violently repeatedly, even slapping me once. But I wouldn't move. She moved away from me and I lifted my head to watch her run around screaming for Jason. I tried to tell her it was no use, he was gone, but she wouldn't listen.

The police figured out some story that made perfect sense somehow, Thalia and I were declared innocent victims in a tragedy, and released.

Thalia ran away not two days after the incident. I guess she had had enough. I had had enough of me too.

So once again, here I am, driving in my car with no one to keep me company but a liquor bottle. And now all I see are blinding lights coming towards me, just like the ones that stole by son away. I know I can never escape them, so I keep driving. Just keep going, down this endless strip of road, the lights coming even closer. Sorry Thalia, sorry Jason, sorry dignity. I lost you all out of selfishness.

And suddenly a honking horn accompanies the lights but I don't stop or swerve or even move me foot from the gas pedal.

The monster inside of my gives one, last dying scream as a car collides with my own, throwing my body from the driver's seat. Then darkness.