This was bad. This was very, very bad.
"Hey there, big guy," the unfortunate Hunter said. "Imma just leave, okay?"
Based on the fact that the Great Jaggi currently pinning the Hunter to the ground did not move, the Hunter guessed that he was not going to be going anywhere any time soon.
It was actually kind of funny how this whole ordeal got started. The Hunter had heard that, when tired, a Great Jaggi would eat any meat lying around, even if it was very obviously drugged, or a trap. So, he filled his bag with as much trapped meat as he could, as well as the components to make more. And because a Hunter needed to be prepared for anything, he brought some kindling and a flint and steel along with him. And, during the Hunter's fight with the Great Jaggi, the flint struck the steel in such a way that the kindling the Hunter had in his pouch began to burn.
Now, it would have been bad enough if the Hunter's entire pouch had gone up in flames, but that did not happen; Item Pouches were designed to both be fire retardant, and to trap heat. This burgeoning fire inside the Hunter's pouch instead became a miniature cooking fire, fed by the multitude of Herbs in the pouch.
This phenomenon went unnoticed by both the Hunter and the Great Jaggi for most of the fight. But it was when the Great Jaggi was tired, when the Hunter went to set some drugged meat that everything went sideways for the Hunter. He opened up his pouch, and out wafted the scent of cooking meat. In a flash, the Hunter was pinned to the ground by the Great Jaggi, silently praying to whatever was out there that he would see another day.
The Great Jaggi's head leaned in close to the Hunter. The Hunter closed his eyes and turned away, awaiting his doom. He heard the sound of tearing leather, and the sound of the Great Jaggi's jaws working through, tender, juicy flesh.
'That's weird,' the Hunter thought. 'This doesn't hurt. And the Great Jaggi's head is in a weird spot. Why would he go for my waist?'
The Hunter tentatively opened one eye, and saw what had temporarily saved him. The Great Jaggi had gone after the meat in his pouch! While the Great Jaggi was otherwise preoccupied with the meat, the Hunter managed to worm his way out from under the monster. He slowly tiptoed towards his discarded weapon, a Light Bowgun. He picked it up and aimed it at the monster. The Great Jaggi had all of the ammo in his pouch, but if the Hunter remembered correctly he still had one Crag Shot loaded. The Hunter raised the Bowgun, aimed at the Great Jaggi's head, and pulled the trigger.
Click!
"Of course not," the Hunter mumbled. When he looked up, the Hunter froze in shock. The Great Jaggi was right there. The Hunter closed his eyes, curled up into a ball, and awaited his doom.
…
…
…
…Odd. The Hunter wasn't dead yet. He dared to open his eyes, and found that the Great Jaggi was staring at him curiously. When the Great Jaggi saw that the Hunter was looking at him, he made an odd sound and licked the Hunter.
"…what," the Hunter said. Here was a Great Jaggi- not exactly the deadliest of monsters, but a monster nonetheless- not mauling the Hunter and eating his guts, but acting like some kind of pet! As the Hunter realized the exact situation he was in, a smile began to grow on his face.
"I think somebody's Palico just got replaced," the Hunter said to himself. As he turned to leave, the Hunter gestured to the Great Jaggi to follow him. The smile grew wider as the Great Jaggi made that odd sound again- a happy sound, that's what it was. After that happy sound, the Great Jaggi bean to follow.
So… yeah. That was a thing. I'm not sure if any of you recall (or even read) the fanfic called Bug Spray that I wrote more than two years ago, but if you did, this fanfic is a continuation of that. You don't need to read it to understand this one, but I may make reference to it in the future.
This fanfic has one simple premise- the Hunter and his Great Jaggi friend are going to face every single large monster in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, including subspecies. And something is going to go horribly, hilariously wrong every time. See you next time for the Velocidrome!