CPOV

Ch.1 A Chance

1 Year Ago

I thought of my previous conversation with my mother' as I walked up the stairs. 'I think I'm in love with Brian… but I don't want to be.' It was true, and I expected to feel relieved the minute I said it, like a giant weight had been lifted from my chest… but I felt the exact opposite. Instead I felt even more confused. The whole situation was unsettling. Even though it seemed like I had made my choice, the same argument was raging in my mind. As much as I want them both, I know I can't have both of them.

I'm not talking about 2 ice cream flavors here; I'm talking about the two wonderful men in my life: Alek and Brian…. If only polygamy was my thing…. Why does this have to be so hard?

Alek is always coming to my rescue. No matter what I can always count on him being there for me. I refuse to just blow him off, and forget about him! It's just that… Brian makes life fun, and he kind of makes me feel human again. Not that I mind being half cat, it's just nice to forget about it sometimes. But…I don't want to be in love with Brian…How can I stop? That was the question.

"I don't want to think about this anymore!" I announced out loud, trying to force myself to do so. I was just so frustrated from my lack of a conclusive decision. How could I possibly choose between them?

I open the door to my room slowly, revealing a figure perched on the end of my bed. He gets up and stands in the middle of the room with what seems to be his usual air of cocky self-confidence. Something was off though. His face; it was stricken with grief and twisted in agony like he was dying inside.

I wonder…did he hear…did he hear the conversation I just had with my mother? Did he over hear the private confession of my love for Brian? That sounds so wrong, it's more like possible love… Oh no! The look on his face answered my unspoken question… yes he had heard. I don't want to have this conversation with him right now. I want to… I don't know when I want to have this conversation… but definitely not right now!

He hasn't broken eye contact with me since I walked into the room. It intimidates me. I feel so guilty. I mean…I didn't think we were a "thing," just friends. You know, so far the whole just friends thing that I keep telling myself isn't really working out too well. I know we weren't just friends. We were definitely something, but it wasn't official or anything…but I still feel like I cheated on him or something. I mean he did take me to the carnival this morning…ugh.

"You love who you love." Alek repeated what my mother had told me after I admitted my feelings for Brian. "I guess I never really stood a chance, did I?" He asked with those big brown British eyes. He continued speaking before I really registered what he had asked. "I was afraid I was making a fool of myself…" I say his name, and he looks at me with a mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes, when he continues. "Sometimes I hate being right."

"Alek, it…it's not the way it sounded…"

"Oh really, 'cause it sounded like you said you were in love with him." He cuts me off.

"I don't know what I am…I'm sorry…but it doesn't matter! We both know I cant be with him." I know it sounded bad, like a poorly constructed excuse, but I was seriously unsure about my emotions. There was so much I wanted to tell him but I hadn't quite figured any of it out for myself yet. I didn't want to hurt him.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Great, I hurt him. "I don't want you to choose me, because I'm the only option…"

This time I cut him off, "I'm not choosing anyone!" This sounds so bad!

"I think you already have." He says, slicing through me like a knife, I can't formulate the right words. My brain has shut down, completely abandoning me. Say something Chloe!

He interrupted my stream of thoughts when he finally looks away, breaking eye contact with me. He turns away and walks toward the window. Turning back at the last second he says, "You are making a big mistake." My phone beeps so I look down at it for a moment and then look back up, and but he was gone. Just like that, with a blink of an eye, he disappeared.

"Alek, wait…!" I called out, knowing full well that it was useless, and could be half way to Canada by now if he wanted to be.

Never mind! …I was wrong; I really do want to talk about it right now! I want…I need to explain myself… the right way. Not stumbling over my words like our previous conversation. I need that chance if I ever want to make it up to him. A chance.

Right when I was about to break down into tears, my phone beeped again.

It was again notifying me that I had a new massage. I looked to see who it was from. 'DAD' it read, in all capitol letters.

The message said "Meet me at Hannah's last stop. Here. Now."… The theatre.

I wonder if I should tell someone. Who would I tell? Alek was mad at me, and I certainly wasn't going to ask hi, for help. Amy and Paul were on a date, and what kind of friend would I be to interrupt them. My mom was on her business meeting and she would freak out anyway. Well…there's Brian…no.

I grab my stuff and head out the door. I start up the street when Brian calls out to me. How creepy, he was just sitting there… Oh he brought food, that's okay then. He says he was gonna try to ask me on a date…This boy doesn't know what just friends mean, does he? He then offers me a ride…that would be great. I could always count on Brian taking me places, and dropping me off at odd locations. Like the time he gave me a ride to the warehouse, that scarface had almost taken one of my lives at. He never insisted on coming to protect me like Alek would, so he wouldn't insist on coming into the theatre.

it was just me and my dad. I could go in alone, and he could wait for me…or he could leave if he wanted to…just like last time.