A/N – Enjoy!
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'I know I'm staring, but I can't get him out of my mind, what the hell is wrong with me?' these were the thoughts going through Kai's mind as he watched Ray battle against Tyson, willing his tiger to win.
"Dragoon!" Tyson yelled as he commanded his dragon to attack Ray's tiger. Dragoon started pushing Drigger back, almost knocking him out of the dish before Ray managed to circle around to the other side of Dragoon and change their positions.
Ray almost had him when his concentration was broken by stealing a quick peek at Kai. Tyson took that moment to knock Drigger right out of the dish and send him to Ray's feet.
Kai shook his head in disproval as Drigger was knocked from the dish. "You need to concentrate more Ray, you're being sloppy," he said in the most unpleasant voice he could muster.
Ray faltered slightly as his ever present smile slipped from his face for a fraction of a second before it was replaced with a new one. "Yeah, sorry Kai, I'll try harder to keep focused."
"Hn," was Kai's only reply as he began to critique the battle that was now going on between Tyson and Max, completely ignoring Ray.
"I'm going to go prepare lunch, come in when the battle is over," said Ray as he walked inside.
"Lunch?!" Tyson yelled as a grin spread across his face, giving Max the chance to take advantage of the distraction and knock Tyson's blade out of the dish.
"Tyson!" Kai scolded. "Don't let your thoughts get sidetracked so easily!"
"But it's food Kai!" Tyson whined.
"Let's go inside Max. Tyson, stay out here until you've finished 10 laps and practiced your launch 100 times."
"What?! But WHY?!"
"If you can't focus long enough to win a match, then you obviously need more practice."
"I beat Ray!"
Kai turned away from Tyson and walked inside. "Ray."
"Yes Kai?"
"Go do 5 laps and practice your launch 50 times with Tyson. He's doing double."
Ray gave Kai a blank stare. Kai had never punished Ray for losing a match before. His features turned to that of confusion as he placed the plate full of sandwiches in the center of the table before walking past Kai and heading outdoors.
"Why did you make Ray go do laps with Tyson?"
"He lost, that's unacceptable."
"You never treat Ray like that Kai. Didn't you see the confusion and hurt that crossed his face?"
"..No," was Kai's reply. He had seen the emotions flitter across Ray's face though, and it nearly broke his heart. If he was going to distance himself from his closest friend however, he needed to do it properly.
"Is something bothering you, Kai?"
Kai ignored the question as he sat at the kitchen table and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich that he knew was made specifically for him since no one else liked just peanut butter on their bread, even Tyson said he needed jelly in order to eat it.
Max sat across from him and stared at him as he also grabbed a sandwich, choosing a cheese one. "You can ignore my question all you want, but if you need to talk, I'm always available."
Kai didn't react in the slightest, he just continued eating as if Max had never spoken.
About 20 minutes later, Ray came inside looking a little sweaty. He sat down and grabbed a sandwich for himself. He was about to speak as Kai stood up and walked out of the room.
Ray frowned slightly, "What could be wrong with him? He wouldn't even look at me."
"I'm not sure, but I noticed that too. He only glanced at you for a second when you walked in."
"Do you think I did something wrong, Max?"
"I don't see what you could have done, you're always so nice to Kai even though he never shows any appreciation for the things you do."
Ray shrugged, "It's fine, really. I know he's grateful for the things I do, I don't need him to say it out loud. I just wish I knew why he's treating me like Tyson all of a sudden."
"Maybe you should go talk to him?" Max suggested.
"Maybe, but what if he doesn't want to talk to me?"
"Force him to."
Ray nodded his head in determination as he made his way upstairs to Kai's room.
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Kai sat against the door with his head in his hands, why was this affecting him so much?
'I should be able to just forget him, and all of these emotions that come along with my thoughts of him.'
He heard approaching footsteps and quickly darted across his room to the window and opened it before slipping into his closet.
He heard Ray knock on the door a few times before he gently called out Kai's name.
Kai felt his insides start to squirm as he listened to Ray's voice, calling his name. He loved when Ray said his name, there was this warmth that spread throughout his entire body whenever he did it.
The door opened slightly and he heard Ray enter his room. "The window?" was the question asked.
Ray walked over to the window and looked outside of it before sighing. "Why would he have come to his room just to leave through the window? I don't understand anything anymore."
Kai heard Ray let out another sigh before the sound of the window closing reached his ears, followed by retreating footsteps and the closing of his door.
He let out a breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding in and silently exited his closet as he made his way to his bed, thankful that there would be no more interruptions. He didn't even know why he was hiding from Ray, it was definitely unlike himself to hide from a confrontation.
'Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way?' he questioned himself. 'Maybe I should just tell him the way I feel and that he needs to accept that we can no longer be friends because of my feelings. Yeah, that would probably be for the best, then he would at least understand why I've been acting so weird lately and that it's not his fault.'
Kai buried his face in his pillow, he felt like screaming. 'That's probably the most stupid plan I've ever thought up. There is NO way that Ray would ever accept me saying we could no longer be friends.'
Kai laid there for what felt like hours before he slowly drifted into a restless sleep.
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Ray walked back into the kitchen with a frown on his face
"How did it go?" Max questioned him.
"How did what go?" Tyson asked in between bites.
"He went to talk to Kai."
"Kai wasn't there," Ray explained. "His window was open and he was nowhere in his room."
"You think he went out the window?"
Ray nodded his head in response to Max's question.
"He couldn't have," Tyson butted in.
"Why not Ty?" Max asked his best friend.
"I saw his window open. I was still outside practicing my launches when it opened."
"Why does that mean he couldn't have went out the window though?"
"Well, I had a clear view of the window, no one went out of it. It was opened, and then closed only a few moments later."
"So Kai is probably somewhere in the house then," stated Max.
"If the window closed only a few minutes after it was opened, then he couldn't have even left his room," said Ray. "I was standing at his door knocking for a bit before I went in, I would have had to have seen him leave."
"Maybe he just hid from you?"
Ray looked at the ground as tears welled up in his eyes, why would Kai hide from him?
"He obviously really wants to be alone right now. Maybe you should go talk to him again in a few hours?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right Maxie. But if he's going through so much trouble to avoid me, should I really try? It's not like Kai to bother avoiding people, I must have done something really wrong."
"Do you want to let him walk outta your life? You're the only one who Kai has let get close to him Ray. If you're willing to just let him go, then it would probably be better that you didn't go and speak to him. But if his friendship is important to you, then I think it's important that you go and straighten things out with him."
Ray smiled, "I don't know what I would do without you Max, thanks."
"No problem-o Ray-man!" Max grinned. After Tyson was finished his lunch they went into the living room and spent the majority of the day watching TV and lazing around.
Kai was absent from dinner, and Ray decided that he would give him a few more hours before he brought him food and attempted to talk to him.
He made his way to his room and turned some music on, thinking about any possible thing he could have done to make Kai upset with him.
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Ray was jolted awake by a loud crash of thunder. He groggily looked around his room as he tried to figure out what time it was, vaguely aware that it was already pitch black outside. When he found the clock he was surprised to see that it read 2am.
'Wow, I can't believe I slept that long. I guess I missed my chance to talk to Kai, I hope he ate something at least.'
He jumped as there was another unusually loud clasp of thunder and the sky was lit up by the lightening that went along with it.
'I hate thunder. I always enjoyed when we were travelling and Kai and I shared a room, he always made me feel so safe.'
He didn't know what compelled him to do it, but he silently got out of his bed and began making his way down the hall to Kai's room. He lightly knocked on the door, knowing Kai wouldn't be able to hear it if he was asleep, and would probably have trouble hearing it even if he was awake.
After a few seconds he heard footsteps and the door was opened to reveal a perfect looking Kai, it didn't look like he had slept one bit.
Surprise crossed Kai's face, although he should have known it was Ray, who else would knock so lightly at 2 in the morning, without fear of being killed for waking Kai up?
"Ray?" he questioned, willing his voice not to crack. He knew his resolve was cracking though. Ray was standing before him, illuminated by the moon light that was coming in from his window. His eyes looked puffy and tired, and his body was all tense. Kai wanted nothing more than to take the Neko into his arms and make all of his fears disappear. He knew how Ray felt about storms, and he knew that he couldn't turn him away-knew that he didn't want to turn him away.
The seconds felt like minutes as Ray tried to figure out what he was going to say, he hadn't actually expected Kai to open his door.
"Can I... can I stay with you?"
Kai's heart skipped a beat as he tried to remind himself of the many reasons why it would not be a good idea to allow Ray into his room. But he had already thought about this hadn't he? He knew Ray wanted to stay with him, it was just different hearing it.
"No..." he managed to say, completely unsure of why he wasn't going against what he wanted more than anything.
Ray stared into Kai's eyes before taking a step forward, causing the older boy to step back, "I want to spend the night with you," he said softly, not tearing his eyes away.
Kai seemed to be in a trance as he slowly nodded his head, moving slightly to allow Ray further passage into his room. Once Ray was inside, he gently closed his door and turned around to stare at the beauty that was his team mate.
"I'm sorry I woke you up," Ray said lightly.
"... I wasn't asleep."
The Neko-jin walked over to his captain's bed as he sat down on the end, taking in the sight of Kai. He was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and no shirt, exposing his bare chest to shine in the moonlight.
'He's gorgeous,' Ray thought to himself as he continued to stare.
"Why are you here?" the other boy questioned as he made his way to his bed, careful to keep his distance.
"I wanted to talk to you earlier, but I fell asleep."
"And so you thought that coming to my room at 2am would be a good time to talk?"
"Actually... I just got scared from the storm."
"Oh..." was Kai's reply as he watched Ray frown. He hated knowing that he was the one causing Ray so much frustration and sadness.
"Kai..."
"Don't talk, not tonight." Kai didn't want to spoil what might be the last night they ever spent in each other's presence. It was getting more and more difficult for him to separate his feelings for Ray from his duty as Ray's captain, and he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to stay with the BladeBreakers if he couldn't control these urges he kept having.
Ray nodded his head in agreement, "are you sure it's okay if I spend the night with you?"
"Yeah, I'm okay with it."
Ray crawled to the top of Kai's bed and got underneath the covers, giving Kai a pointed look as he did so.
Kai stood up off the bed and went to his dresser for a moment before throwing a pair of black sweats at Ray. "You're still in your clothing from earlier today."
Ray lifted the covers and surveyed himself, giving a sheepish smile, he hadn't even noticed. "Thanks," he said as he quickly stripped to his boxers and threw on the sweats overtop, wondering why Kai looked slightly nervous and tense.
Both boys got into the bed and Ray jumped again as there was another loud ring of thunder.
They laid there for about half an hour, neither moving, or even breathing too loudly in case the other was asleep, both of their hearts beating wildly.
"I won't let you walk away from me," Ray whispered. He felt Kai go rigid beside him and knew then that the older boy was awake as well. "You mean too much to me," he went on as if he wasn't aware of anything.
Trying to move as little as possible, he placed his hand inside of Kai's, which was at his side, and gave it a slight squeeze. "I'll fix whatever I did to make you mad at me Kai, I promise." He tilted his head a little bit so that it was just touching Kai's, but not in an over intimate way, he didn't want to make the other uncomfortable.
He felt Kai give his hand a reassuring squeeze back and a small smile tugged at his lips before they both drifted off to sleep.
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Ray was the first to wake up, and decided that he wanted to go back to sleep, he was just too comfortable. He realized instantly that he had somehow found his way lower down the bed so that his head was now resting on Kai's chest and his arm was draped across his waist.
Kai had one arm underneath Ray, wrapped protectively as he held him to his side, and the other was lying at his other side.
'I could get used to waking up like this,' Ray thought to himself as he inadvertently snuggled closer to Kai, causing the other boy to stir.
Kai's body immediately tensed as he realized the position he was in. When Ray realized that Kai was attempting to remove his arm, he tightened his hold on the older boy.
"I don't want you to go anywhere," Ray mumbled.
If it were even possible, Kai's body became more tense and rigid as he heard Ray speak, he hadn't been aware that he was awake. He let the words sink in, "I don't want you to go anywhere.." and his heart started to beat rapidly. "Why?" he whispered.
Ray gave a small shrug, "I just really like lying here like this."
"...." Kai was silent as he tried to process every different meaning that Ray's words could have.
"Relax Kai, I'm not going to bite."
Kai's face turned multiple shades of red and he was thankful that Ray wasn't looking at him. He tried to force his body to relax a little, but nothing seemed to be calming him down.
When the Neko-jin became aware that Kai wasn't relaxing anytime soon, he tilted his head upwards to look at the boy. A small smile spread across his face.
"Hn?" Kai asked, wondering what the other boy was smiling about.
"You have bed head."
Kai scowled as he tried to fix his hair with his free hand. Ray moved his arm that was placed on Kai's abdomen and grabbed Kai's hand, effectively stopping any further attempt at combing his hair. When his captain gave him a confused look, he just replied, "It's cute, leave it."
Kai turned bright red and wasn't able to hide it from Ray this time, who was still looking at him.
"I have something to tell you..." Ray started.
Kai's heartbeat quickened as he waited to hear what Ray had to say. He felt his stomach turn to knots.
"I really enjoy being with you, and I enjoy lying here with you. Yesterday felt like the worst day of my life, I don't ever want you to hate me. I swear I'll fix whatever I've done wrong and I'll do whatever I need to in order to make you smile again."
His captain stared at him with wide eyes, "Why?" he heard him whisper.
"Because I care so much for you Kai, you're my best friend. I couldn't handle if you were to leave me. But," he added hesitantly. "There's also another reason."
Kai looked at him, not sure if he wanted to know what Ray was going to say next, he felt fear rising throughout his body as he waited patiently for the other boy to collect his thoughts.
"I..feel really safe with you Kai. I always come to you when I have a problem, and I always come to you when I'm scared – like last night. I loved waking up with you this morning, and I feel like I want it to be this way every morning. It feels so perfect having you hold me. I think you're adorable – no, gorgeous. When I saw yesterday how it would be like if you treated me like everyone else, I was scared, mortified even, at the thought of not having you in my life the way I want you to be in it."
Kai's eyes were huge by the time Ray was finished and his entire body was shaking, he didn't know what to say. Ray had just admitted everything he himself wanted to tell the other boy, and he had no clue where it had come from. Ray never acted like he liked him, he never did anything to make him feel more important than everybody else. He was always there for him and trying to make life as easy as possible, but he was like that with everyone else as well.
Kai stood up off the bed, avoiding Ray's eyes. He heard the sad sigh that Ray gave as he stood up. He couldn't do this, he didn't even know what this was. He quickly made his way out of his room, not bothering to change. He instantly went outside and began to run, running always helped him think.
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Ray smiled sadly, 'I guess he doesn't want the same things that I do.' He sighed again as he got out of the bed and made his way to his room to get changed for the day before heading downstairs to start on breakfast.
Kai didn't come back so Kenny conducted their practice that morning, asking every once in a while where Kai could have gone. Ray didn't tell anybody what had happened, but just told them that "Kai is Kai, he'll be back when he wants to." Everyone seemed to accept that answer and continued on with practice.
When it neared lunch time, Ray wasn't really surprised that he still hadn't returned, it must have been quite a shock to him to find out that not only did Ray have a thing for guys, but he had a thing for his captain.
'What in the world made me tell him? I had been doing so good keeping it to myself all this time. I never treated him any different than I did with anyone else, and yet I just blurted everything out to him, how could I be so stupid? It's not like he gave me any signs that he felt the same way too. So what, he let me stay in his bed with him, big deal, he was just being nice. He didn't pull his hand away when I held it though, but he was quite tense, ARGH! I'm such an idiot. I guess I was just so scared of losing him, I wanted to make sure he knew how I felt.'
Ray silently cursed himself for his stupidity, wondering if Kai would return anytime soon. The hours seemed to drag on and eventually it was dinner time. He cooked enough food for Kenny, Max and Tyson, as well as for Kai and himself, but he couldn't bring himself to eat and told the others that he was going to go lie down for a bit and that he didn't feel good.
Max nodded his head and gave the boy a sad look. He knew that Ray's mood had something to do with Kai's strange absence.
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2 hours had passed since dinner and Max heard the front door open and close before Kai entered the living room.
"Kai!" he shouted, "Where have you been?"
"Do you know where Ray is?"
"He said he wasn't feeling well, he went to lie down a few hours ago."
Kai turned and walked away, heading upstairs in the direction of his room. It would probably be a good idea for him to take a nap too.
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Ray stared up at his ceiling as he listened to the ticking of his clock. He knew it was well past 2, and he was tempted to go knock on Kai's door again.
'That would be foolish of me,' he told himself. 'I need to just--'
His thoughts were cut off by a soft knock on his door, his heart beat rapidly, he knew that it had to be Kai. But what was the older boy at his door for? Was he going to yell at him, kick him off the team? He really hoped not.
He slowly made his way to his door and opened it, hoping Kai couldn't tell that his eyes were a little puffy. "Kai?" he questioned softly.
"I wanted to talk to you earlier... but Max said you were sleeping."
Ray nodded his head, still unsure of which direction Kai was going to go with this. "So, you thought 2am would be a better time to talk?" he asked the same question Kai had asked the night before.
"Well actually, I got scared."
'This conversation is really starting to sound familiar,' Ray thought to himself. 'But there's no storm tonight, I wonder where he's going with this.' "What did you get scared of?"
"...."
"Kai?" he questioned breathlessly.
"I got scared of losing the most important person in my life." He leaned down and gently pushed his lips to Ray's. "I'm sorry I ran away earlier," he said as he pulled away.
Ray was too speechless to say anything, he knew he had to be dreaming and was scared if he spoke, he would wake up.
"I didn't mean to make you upset. I don't know how to deal with my emotions, and I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling. But I do know that you make me feel weird Ray. I feel things around you that I've never felt around anyone before. I decided it would be best if we just didn't interact as much, and if I treated you like everyone else, but that didn't go over so well.."
"..I thought you were doing a pretty good job," Ray said sadly as he thought about the way Kai had been ignoring him.
"Of course you think I did a good job, you were on the receiving end of it, but you don't know what was going on in my mind. I had to try too hard to treat you like everyone else. Ignoring people and giving one word answers comes naturally for me Ray, I shouldn't have had to try to not talk to you. And the worst part of all is that it made me unhappy. There aren't many things in my life that make me happy as it is, and I know now that I couldn't stand losing one of the few things that does."
Ray was speechless, he had never heard so many words come out of Kai's mouth. "I'm dreaming... right?"
Kai gave him an expressionless look, "No."
Ray smiled. "Stay with me?"
He wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure he saw Kai smile back as they made their way towards his bed.
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End!
A/N-I hope you guys liked it, it just randomly came to me in the middle of the night when I thought about how I hadn't written a one-shot in a while and I really missed writing about Kai and Ray.
Remember, it's a Fanfiction crime to read and not review (=