Chapter One
A/N: Hello! This is my new fanfiction, I've had it in the works for quite a bit of time. I've worked really hard on it, writing pages of characterization and outlining plot details and relationship arcs so I really hope you enjoy! I understand if the first chapter is a bit dull, but hang on for a bit! It will get much more exciting (believe me, I know). As always, thank you so much for reading!
For the girls with messy hair and a penchant for trouble and the boys who love their motorcycles too much.
(Mckinnon Manor)
There were approximately thirty-seven and one half rooms on the second floor of the Mckinnon Mansion. (The half room was the result of a particularly nasty duel that caused quite an explosion, leaving only half of a room, fully furnished and very dusty, with jagged floorboards being the only evidence that the other half remained. It remained to serve as a storyteller, to show to those who saw it that the Mckinnons were powerful when it came to magic.) Of this number of rooms, Merriam "Merry" Mckinnon was sure. While pregnant with her first child, a boy who was growing at a rapid pace, she took to exploring, despite her husband's protests.
"This house is old and pureblood, there's no telling what sort of dark magic is hidden."
She had scowled and reassured Eridanus of her capabilities as a witch, even asking him if he'd like a demonstration of said capabilities. Knowing not to irritate a pregnant and powerful witch, he had stayed quiet and tried to cast as many shield charms as possible on his wife in secret.
Merry had been bored. She was confined inside the house as a means of protection against the howlers and threats from pureblood elitists. Her elopement with Eridanus Mckinnon had been the scandal of pureblood society for weeks' time. Eridanus, a reckless young man and the sole heir of the long-lasting pureblood Mckinnon line, had fallen for a cheerful, yet feisty, blonde Hufflepuff. This would not have been a problem, if only that Merry was a muggle born, through and through. He had been shouted at, lectured, cast disappointed glances at, and nearly tortured out of the relationship. But with the death of the old Mckinnons, he found him and his wife facing death threats for polluting the old line. Such was pureblood society, with values that rivaled those of World War II.
While the mansion had indeed contained quite the number of surprises and dangers, Merry had remained stubborn, fully set on the idea of making the darkness inhabitable and suitable for children. Some thirty years later, give or take, there were eight living on this second floor. Six of which, were lined up in one hallway for her convenience. It was at this time that she heartily banged on each door with gusto.
"Wake up! Today's the day! We're sending off Manning and Marlene so I expect every one of you, and I mean all of you at the breakfast table dressed and ready. And packed, Marlene, I do mean packed."
Slowly, the doors opened in their own time and out came the six Mckinnon children. Last was Marlene Mckinnon, the youngest and only girl of the family.
She trudged slowly down the steps towards the breakfast corner, where her brothers mumbled their half-asleep greetings.
"There she is!" her mother greeted cheerfully, "As I live and breathe, is this Marlene Mckinnon awake before midday?"
"Unfortunately and rudely awoken, yes."
"Now, now, Marlene, attitude," Maverick, the eldest son and self-appointed leader of the siblings, playfully chimed in with a grin, "People might begin to wonder if you were ever taught manners."
She made a display of gesturing to her third eldest brother, Marcell, who was currently in quite the syrup predicament, "You were saying?"
"Someone took her snarky potion today, didn't she?"
"As I do every morning before the sun's up."
"You'll have to do that quite a bit now that school's starting back up," Maddox pointed out logically, "But only for two more years. Little Marls is growing up."
"Growing into quite the walking disaster."
"No wonder you haven't written to us about any dates with blokes, if your hair always looks like this in the morning," Maxwell contributed.
"And your robes used to be mine, weren't they? Oi, didn't I spill honey on those?"
"I have ears you know?"
"We can fix that…"
"…Wasn't there a spell we learned in sixth year…"
"…Probably in the section on human transfiguration…"
"…Of course we could just vanish them…"
"…She'd look right funny without ears wouldn't she…"
"…Agreed, even more of a disaster…"
"Oh that's enough boys," Merry lightly scolded as she placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder (a very displeased and un-humoured daughter), "Your sister is very lovely."
And she was quite lovely, really.
"Lovely, my arse," Marcell murmured.
"Marcell Mckinnon! I did not raise you to speak that way!" Eridanus Mckinnon joked with a grin as he approached the breakfast table.
"Are you certain, dad?" Maverick asked, "because I remember quite well that you used a number of expletives while raising Marlene here."
He waved it away, "You start to slack off after number two."
"That does explain a bit," Marlene chimed.
"Oh hush," Merry sighed, "I only dropped you once. You barely felt it. A bit of pepper up potion and you were good as new."
"Probably her thick skull…"
"Oh bloody hell, not this again," Marlene groaned as she buried her head into her arms.
"Elbows off the table, dear," Merry chided.
"Elbows you chastise, but when this buffoon decided to streak across the block, you laughed," Marlene pointed out, elbowing Maxwell as the streaker in question.
"Naked children are quite endearing," Merry explained.
"He was twelve," Maddox cleared.
"In my defense, as the fourth, I was also probably dropped," Maxwell piped up.
"You can blame your dad on that one," Merry smiled cheekily.
"What? Really? I was just joking around. Dad did you actually-?"
"Son, when you have four kids running amok, dropping them will be the least of your concerns."
"Is this why I barely scraped an A in Ancient Runes seventh year?"
"You barely scraped an Acceptable in Ancient Runes because it's bloody Ancient Runes."
"It was the most difficult class that I took," Maddox added.
"Now folks, that's saying something," Maverick laughed, lightly joshing Maddox, easily the smartest one out of the bunch.
"Speaking of coursework, Marlene dear..." Eridanus interrupted the siblings' banter.
"Yes, yes, I know," Marlene hurriedly stammered. She strongly disliked talking about her coursework and exams. Talks like those often led to talks of the future. And talks of the future frankly scared her to pieces.
"Quite right," Merry nodded, "now hurry along, I want everyone to be ready to apparate at quarter to eleven. Max, be a dear and wash the dishes? Oh don't give me that face, it's just a simple spell. And Maverick…" At this her voice dipped into a whisper as she nervously glanced at Marlene, "please wake Manning up. He should want to come down to breakfast now."
Though her mother had tried her best to hide this from her, Marlene had heard it loud and clear. Yes, Manning would want to come down to breakfast now, after she had left. Manning would've liked to be anywhere, as long as her presence wasn't there.
That was how things were now
(When We Go Home)
"If I eat any more, I swear to Merlin, I will swell up and float away," Marlene groaned as she climbed aboard the carriage after a train ride filled with cauldron cakes and pumpkin pasties.
Mary bit out a laugh, "As if something like that could ever happen."
"You'll be singing a different tune once we get to the Hall. You never could resist the welcome back feast," Lily teased.
"You are just as guilty as I am of that. Also, you didn't have to suffer through my family's awful attempts at cooking meals. In comparison, the house elves are saintly."
Lily laughed and Marlene could have sworn that even the thestrals perked their ears up. Lily Evans was put together to a fault with an aura of charisma (though speaking of faults, she had plenty).
The carriage jerked a bit before it began moving down the long path towards the castle gates. Hogsmeade village had floating orbs, essentially the muggle equivalent of lamp posts, to light the way.
"Did you hear about O.W.L. results?" Lily piped up eagerly.
"No, not particularly," Marlene replied in answer.
"How could you not? They're all anyone could talk about, that and their N.E.W.T. classes," Mary said in disbelief.
"I was otherwise pre-occupied for the first half of the train ride."
"That's right, you came into our compartment halfway through. What was that about anyway?"
"Nothing important. I was knackered and fell asleep in a compartment. Imagine my surprise when I woke up and found a bunch of nervous first years in the seat across from me."
Marlene didn't know why she lied here.
"Better than my first half. The prefects' meeting was disastrous. Oh, but you'll never guess the head students."
"Well your tone suggests that it isn't promising."
"It's Emma Vanity and William Nott."
"What?" Mary gasped, "That can't be possible. Dumbledore never offers the positions to two students in the same house unless on a strange whim. Let alone Slytherin."
"Agrippa's sake, Emma Vanity? She nearly took out half of our team with her bat last match. What was Dumbledore thinking?"
"He wasn't, clearly."
"Not that William Nott is much better. Those two have reputations," Mary commented.
"I don't think I've ever seen Emma without a pack of cigs on her," Marlene added.
"It's not even that, those two simply clash like nothing you've ever seen before. This year is going to be awful. Prefects' meetings will be like duel club for them."
Marlene sucked in a breath, "Tough luck, Lily. Just ride this year out and hope next year the Heads get along, yeah?"
"Which will probably be you, in any case," Mary added.
"Possibly. Though Hestia Jones managed to get nine O.W.L.s and she's on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team."
"Didn't you get eight, Lily?" Mary asked.
"Well, yeah, but nonetheless-"
"I barely scraped six," Marlene interrupted, "Most of them were A's anyway. My parents, my brothers even, did quite a bit of begging to get me in N.E.W.T. classes."
"I didn't know you wanted to be in all N.E.W.T. classes," Lily said.
"I had a change of heart."
"Did you know James and Sirius both got nine as well? Remus and Peter got eight. Bloody brilliant, the lot of them," Mary said.
"Peter?" Lily asked, "I didn't know he was clever."
"Quite," Marlene replied, "I've talked to him on occasion while at the Potter's. He's exceptionally bright, just not as genius as James or Sirius."
Lily made a sound of wonder, "Well, you really do learn something at Hogwarts each day."
"Speaking of Hogwarts, the castle's just in sight," Mary breathed out in a pleasant manner.
And indeed it was. Rising above the horizon in a flurry of towers and peaks, Hogwarts was truly magnificent. The lights were warm and welcoming from the glass windows and they provided an air of safety. If Marlene strained her eyes, she could almost pinpoint the sixth year girls' dormitory. She grinned, "I'll never get sick of seeing Hogwarts for the first time after summer. Of course right now, we barely have any revision or homework, but that aside, Hogwarts really is magnificent."
The carriage was filled with assenting sounds and nods and even the heartless might be rendered speechless by the way the moonlight hit the castle walls.
For Lily, Hogwarts was a romantic vision, a metaphorical Prince on a White Stallion to take her away from the mundane life of Cokeworth.
For Mary, Hogwarts was a dream that she wrote off as she grew older.
And for Marlene, Hogwarts was a playground (but not always the happy-go-lucky sort, there were plenty of bullies, boys who ran away, and scraped knees).
But more often than not, Hogwarts was home.
(Pumpkin Juice, Anyone?)
Before she had even stepped foot onto Platform 9 ¾, Lily Evans had read Hogwarts, A History from cover to cover. She had found a battered edition in Flourish & Blotts and proceeded to read about the place that utterly seemed to be a figment of her imagination. Therefore, though her eyes seemed to trick her, her logic knew that it was simply an enchantment. Nonetheless, she had always been taken by the way the ceiling seemed to open up to the sky, the stars, and the heavens. Fortunately for her, she was not alone in her openly gaping expression.
"Is it just me, or do the first years get smaller each year?" Mary asked curiously, watching as they filed past her towards the center of the daunting room.
"Or the more logical answer: you're just getting taller," Marlene added as she bumped her shoulder.
"Doubtful, you've seen my mum! She could fit into one of those Russian nesting dolls."
"That's all right, Mary. Your personality makes up for it"
"Are you saying she's loud?"
"Nah, I'm saying she's big in her own way."
"We should probably hush up, McGonagall's talking to the first years," The prefect side of Lily took over.
"I'm bloody parched," Marlene complained as she glanced wistfully at her goblet, "On a scale of rude to The James Potter First Year Streaking Incident, how socially unacceptable would it be if I had a sip before the feast?"
"Only a bit rude. If it's any consolation, I see Gilderoy Lockhart pouring and drinking something that is definitely not pumpkin juice."
"I'm willing to risk 'a bit rude,'" The brunette admitted as she brought her goblet to her lips and made a sound of satisfaction, "Even the pumpkin juice tastes better than it does at home."
Lily scoffed, "That's not even possible."
"On the contrary," Marlene whispered, "A reliable source has told me that all the food from the feast comes from shops in Diagon Alley and is modified for the better by the House Elves. This juice must be homemade, there's just the tiniest taste of lavender."
"By reliable source, do you happen to mean James Potter?"
"The boy enjoys his food, all right?"
"And I enjoy listening to the Sorting Hat's song, so hush up," Lily chimed.
"It's always the same notion every year, I don't see why-" Her train of thought was interrupted as Lily placed a finger on her own lips.
For many, the hat's words were still remembered by all those who passed through Hogwarts' halls. His drooping, fabric mouth opened, and he began to sing.
In dark times a millennia ago,
There were witches and wizards four,
And they devised a plan unheard of,
To teach wizards of their lore.
Godric Gryffindor took the ones
Whose hearts were brave and true.
And Rowena Ravenclaw selected daughters and sons,
With minds and wits as sharp as any tool.
Salazar Slytherin decided on those,
Of cunning and ambition,
And last but not least was Helga Hufflepuff,
Who chose students with the kindest condition.
But be warned for there are faults,
In each one of these houses,
But beside faults there lay great strengths,
Equal in their importance.
So ambitious, bold, just, and smart,
The houses were created
To teach students, magic and muggle, about the arcane arts.
"But who to choose these students?" They asked,
"Who to look into their minds?
And see with glee,
Their destinies,
All set in one long line."
So Godric took me off his head,
His most beloved hat,
And he charmed me to see your thoughts,
And your future with it at that.
So try me on for size,
What traits shall I find?
The mind is a labyrinth,
And I will try to search my way inside.
Lily applauded loudly, as she always had. Marlene had never understood the appeal of the singing hat (though it's personal spoken words to her, those were a different story). But Lily had always been the kind of girl who was absolutely fascinated with any sort of magic, especially the first demonstrations she had seen. For her, the sorting hat had marked the beginning of an era.
Following the applause, McGonagall instructed the first years on their sorting and began calling names on her seemingly long list - though that may have just been most people's delusional imagination, clouded by hunger. Once they had been sorted and seated, Dumbledore smiled and instructed the students to indulge themselves.
Marlene laughed as she finally caught sight of James (it had been a while since she last talked to him. The last month of her summer hols had been...eventful, to say the least). His eyes found her and his smile expanded as he waved merrily. He raised his glass of pumpkin juice to her and she mirrored his actions, albeit with a much emptier cup. He turned his attention back to the Marauders, a single entity comprised of four brothers, not in blood, but in spirit, and laughed heartily among them as if they had no care in the world.
There were some things that were bigger than others. And Marlene guessed that some things were just meant to last throughout everything. The Marauders were an example of that.
Once they had all gorged themselves on desert (the treacle tart and cream cakes had been especially good that year), Dumbledore stood up and his presence caused a silence to run over the room.
He smiled and it reached his eyes in a pleasant way as he adjusted his spectacles.
"Welcome to another year! We welcome a new teacher into our highly esteemed ranks: Professor Dearborn." He gestured to the man, a middle-aged seemingly pleasant fellow. He must have been handsome once, but looked tired as he waved and ran a hand through his graying hair.
"As custom, it is my duty as headmaster to inform you that the Forbidden Forest is, as its name suggests, forbidden. First years ought to be aware of this along with a few of our older students," His gaze fell over the hall with a small knowing glance. "Mr. Filch has asked that the 'no magic in corridors' policy be upheld. Quidditch trials will take place in the second week of the term. Interested parties ought to contact their House Captains and Madam Hooch. And as per tradition, the school song!" He said cheerfully and waved his hands as if he were a conductor. Out of his wand flowed the words of the song for the helpless first years as the student body began to sing merrily to different tunes.
"Now, off to bed!" He instructed with a clap and immediately, students began to stand from their seats. Marlene gripped the table as she swung her suddenly lead-like legs from the bench.
"You all right, Marlene?" Lily asked with concern, placing a light hand on her shoulder.
"Fine. Just tired, I s'ppose," Her words unintentionally slurred together and she shook off the woozy feeling, placing a smile on her face. She inwardly groaned at the prospect of having to climb the long way up to the Gryffindor Tower. As she joined the flood of students leaving the Great Hall, her body lurched forwards as wave after wave of exhaustion hit her suddenly.
"Marlene?" Mary asked, panic rising into her voice. She suddenly became very dependent of the bannister to keep herself up.
"Fine, fine," She said as she bit out a laugh, "Must've eaten too much. The food comes from Diagon Alley, did you know that?"
"I don't think you're all right," Lily murmured slowly as she brushed her hand across Marlene's forehead, "well you're not catching a fever."
"'Course I'm not. I'm fantastic."
"That you are Mckinnon," James piped up as he passed by her.
"How lovely of you to grace us with your presence," Lily spoke, her voice only half-mocking. Lily and James were very civil to each other, though they did seem to love exchanging testaments of wit. Marlene had never seen them so alive except when they did so.
"Notion seconded," Marlene said as she struggled with a few more steps, finding it hard to even keep her eyes open.
"You all right?" Peter asked worriedly, slinging a casual arm around her waist to help her up. James quickly followed this example.
"Don't worry boys, it's noth-"
And of course, this was where her unconsciousness proved her very wrong.
(Of McGonagall and Marauding)
Students, particularly pre-adolescents, had a tendency to oversleep. Despite many speculations otherwise, Minerva McGonagall had been a teenager once and could relate to this. But even as a teenager, Minerva had been promptly on time, if not appallingly early. She found herself constantly annoyed by the trickle of late students into the Hall or classes, and was therefore completely flabbergasted when she awoke late.
In all of her years of teaching, Minerva believed this to be a first. However, she hurriedly and neatly dressed herself and arranged her strict bun as per routine. Her quarters were as neat as could be expected, and with a wave of her wand to tidy up any wrinkles in her duvet, she set out to the Hall in hopes that her absence wasn't too noticeable.
When she traversed across the threshold of the Great Hall, a few students looked up from their hurried breakfast, but most were too pre-occupied with shoveling food as quickly as they could. As she glanced around the Hall, she noticed many of the students' disorderly dress: buttons half done, wrinkled robes, ties done wrong, skirts not smoothed down. Gilderoy Lockhart seemed to be missing a complete shoe.
She had just been about to summon up the schedules for her house, when Dumbledore's voice stopped her.
"Ah, Minerva. So grateful to see you have joined us today," She felt the tips of her cheekbones darken to a shameful red, though his tone was clearly jocular.
"It appears I overslept a bit," She admitted quietly.
"As did most of the Hogwarts population. Yes, I do believe we have an announcement to make."
"Is something wrong, Albus?" She questioned cautiously.
His eyes appeared very distant, something she resented a bit in that moment. If trouble was brewing in Hogwarts, his mind should have been here.
"Oh, very."
(The Magical Law Enforcement are Coming! The Magical Law Enforcement are Coming!)
Marlene awoke before the rest of her classmates to silence, but found herself still overwhelmingly exhausted and continued to lay in her bed. A pecking from the window entreated her to step out of her warm, cosy bed. Mail that came earlier than mail time did not mean good news. She worked at the hinges for a few minutes, allowing her father's owl, Noctua, inside the dormitory. Her hands shook as she broke his usual seal that read his name and his position in the Department of Magical Law.
"Silly bird," She said affectionately as she petted the owl. Though the owl had always been on the ironically unwise side, Noctua had been part of the reason her parents had met. Noctua had lost her father's mail and Eridanus had run to Diagon Alley at a late time, colliding straight with Merriam. The rest was, as they say, history.
As she read her father's greeting, she was jolted out of her reverie by Lily's gasp of surprise.
"Marlene," she managed groggily, "you wouldn't have happened to see the time as of right now?"
When she did, panic rushed into her lungs and she began to shake her remaining roommates' shoulders as she hurriedly hopped on one foot, attempting to change into her socks and robes at the same time. She stuffed her father's letter into the pocket of her robes and proceeded to forget about it.
"McGonagall's going to have our heads. And then she's going to use them for transfiguration classes. And we're all going to become snuffboxes and goblets. Well, at least our heads," Mary murmured as she buttoned up her shirt wrong and threw her sweater vest over it in haste.
Lily threw a pillow at Mary, "Patterned snuffboxes."
"Real helpful, Lily,"
They hurried out of the dormitory quickly, practically running as the portrait hole swung open to allow them to leave. Marlene cursed Godric Gryffindor's name and Lily and Mary did the same as they made their way down the seven flights of steps.
Seven flights of steps.
By the third flight, they paused to pant a bit and then nodded as they continued their rushed running.
At least I can tell James that I prepared a bit for Quidditch season, Marlene thought as her feet finally touched down onto the first floor.
"Sometimes," Mary gasped out, "I really wish I was in Hufflepuff."
"And sometimes," Lily continued, "I really wish Godric Gryffindor wasn't so utterly stupid as to put the dorms in a tower."
"We know," the other two girls chorused in likely-never-to-happen-again unison.
"You've said it four and half times now since we started our trek," Marlene informed her.
As they made their way through the doors, they noticed other students in similar states of disarray, "Oh, good. We're not that late," Lily breathed.
"And here I was really looking forward to be part snuffbox," Marlene quipped as they made their way to the Gryffindor table and sat down on the bench. Once more students had trickled in, all bashfully rubbing their eyes free of sleep, Dumbledore stood up, his presence demanding their attention.
"Unfortunately, I have a few number of things and not one of them is fortunate. I think it would be best to get it out of the way quickly so you may enjoy the rest of your day." He smiled at them, "It appears that last night the pumpkin juice was interlaced with a very strange deviation of sleeping potion."
Nervous chatter broke out throughout the room and Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Such an act is illegal and will be investigated accordingly. Therefore, classes will be cancelled while representatives from the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol begin to take on this case. Rest assured, the culprit or culprits will be found. Hogwarts is not lacking in safety and I warn you against worry. Please, enjoy your day. The MLE will seek you out for questioning if needed."
Marlene numbly stood up. In the magic world, there was no such thing as free will. Love, truth, actions could all be forced upon oneself. Even sleep. Part of her felt violated, as if her trust had been betrayed by Hogwarts itself. Once again, panic seeped into her chest and she felt as if she was about to go hysterical, dominated by the feeling that she wasn't safe in the stone walls she always considered as home.
She felt a hand tap her shoulder and she pulled away almost immediately, coming face to face with a member of the MLE patrol.
"Ms. Mckinnon? Marlene Mckinnon?" He addressed. She nodded slowly.
"Yes, that's me."
"Would you come along for a second? We'd just like to ask you a few questions."
"Yeah, all right," She noted that she was the only student going to questioning and wondered if these interrogations were as random as she supposed.
He led her down a relatively quiet hallway towards an abandoned classroom. It seemed as if they had tidied it up in the hour they had been there and it now appeared similar to the interrogation rooms she had seen while visiting her father's office.
"James?" She asked once she had spotted a head of messy dark hair sitting in a chair.
He turned around, brave face on but distress in his hazel eyes.
Random, indeed.
(To the Daily Prophet)
He was a low-ranking face on the totem pole of the DMLE. However, he lived to be at the center of attention, craved for it really. At Hogwarts, he had been a Hufflepuff. He wasn't bothered by his house, rather his status as an overlooked Hufflepuff. He dreamed of becoming the head of the DMLE, making his way through wizarding history. Seeing his face in the Prophet and in wizarding textbooks. Really, given his ambition, there was much speculation why he had not been sorted into Slytherin. However, despite being low in rank, he had overheard the suspected culprits with disbelief. So it was of very little surprise when he wrote to the Daily Prophet.
To the Daily Prophet,
You're never going to believe this…
(Earlier, September 1st 1976 11:13 A.M.)
For those who did not partake in the activity of smoking, they would not know about the outside Express platform. However, Marlene was not one of those people, and so September 1st 1977 found her standing on the train's platform, exposed to the outdoors. Unfortunately for her, she found that the pack of cigs she had so conveniently stashed in the pocket of her favorite robes had been replaced by a note from Maverick. It read along the lines of "It's for your own good, Marlene."
As if she hadn't heard that before.
Still, she remained standing there for the scenery was beautiful and helped soothe the awful cravings. She had nothing better to do anyway. That was, of course, before Sirius Black opened the door to the platform and lit his cigarette and suddenly, she could no longer distract herself from the urge to fill her lungs with poison.
Marlene Mckinnon was exactly the sort of girl to walk around with her nose tilted up. Not because she was proud (Merlin knows that she was not proud of herself) or conceited, but because her mother had warned her not to - and she had never quite liked taking orders from authority. It was like she was sniffing for smoke (she had always liked the smell of cigarettes) or for fire. Perhaps she was looking for the boy who had lost everything in the flames and the war, and save him. Or maybe she was looking for the boy who had set the fire in the first place, be it with a purposeful spell or a casually tossed cigarette, and change him.
And unfortunately for her mother, Marlene leaned towards the second.
"Mckinnon," Black greeted, his tone showing surprise, "Fancy seeing you here."
"Expecting better company?"
"Not particularly."
He blew out smoke, which billowed around her. She swallowed hard and her jaw tightened.
Sirius and Marlene had never been formally friends. Sure, they were friendly enough. Probably dubbed acquaintances by those who knew them. They were united when it came to James Potter, but did not talk much otherwise.
"How were your summer hols?" She managed.
"Utter and complete bollocks," Sirius replied briskly.
Sirius Black was not a happy person. He might have been happy (once) and he did still have his happy moments. But overall, he was not. Perhaps it was how he had been raised in that ancient pure blooded manner or maybe the rumors were true and it was an effect of the inbreeding.
"That's unfortunate."
"I ran away for a few days. Came back because…" He trailed off, "because."
"I'm sorry."
He raised an eyebrow, "What are you sorry for? Oh hell Mckinnon, if you're going to turn into one of those Remus types that continuously apologizes for nothing at all, then you best give me some warning. Based on what I know, I do believe it's contagious."
She bit back a laugh, "I figured 'I'm sorry' was an appropriate response. Clearly, I was wrong."
"Clearly," He chuckled and brought his cigarette to his mouth for a drag, "what about you? I bet your summer hols were fantastic. I used to always envy you, Mckinnon. You and James living so close together, getting to play Quidditch on a whim. Meanwhile, I was stuck in London. Playing Quidditch there would have been every violation of the statute."
"Not much quidditch playing going on this summer," She murmured quietly, "but they were...decent." If "decent" meant an endless cycle between her home and St. Mungo's. If "decent" meant a family torn apart.
"Hmm," He murmured.
"What?" She asked, flinching a bit from his stare.
"I figure you're lying. Care to elaborate?"
"Well that's a bit self-righteous of you. What made you think that I would tell you?"
"Won't you?"
"No, I don't think I will."
"But you were considering it?"
She paused. Yes, she had been considering it. It was a weight on her shoulders and she would have gladly given her burden to share. Of all people, Sirius would have understood dysfunctional family problems. But some burdens weren't meant to share. And she did not know Sirius Black.
"No, not really."
"That's unfortunate. And here I was thinking my role as confidante was flawless. I suppose it's not flawless then."
"No, I guess not."
They were dunked in silence as Sirius enjoyed his cigarette and the green hills of Scotland flew past them.
"So nine O.W.L.s then, Black?"
He smiled in an amused way, "Where'd you hear that?"
"Lily has made it her life ambition to find the person with the highest number of O.W.L.s."
"Bird's raving mad."
"And you haven't even attempted to live with her."
He laughed, "No, I definitely have not."
"So any future plans where those O.W.L.s might come in use?"
"Oh, Mckinnon," He said with a cheeky grin, "and here I thought our conversation was going in a lovely direction. I don't like thinking of the future. Scares me shitless."
Scares me too, She thought in silent agreement.
"You never struck me as someone who was afraid of anything."
"Come now, Mckinnon. People who aren't afraid of anything, don't stand for anything."
"And what does the Almighty Sirius Black stand for?"
"Is that what they're calling me nowadays?" He laughed quietly, "As for what I stand for, haven't figured that out either. I'll let you know when it comes to me."
"You really don't like planning of any sort, do you?"
"Life's not an adventure if it's planned."
"So your pranks are all off the top of your head, on a whim, at the drop of a hat?"
"That's different," He waved it off, "Pranks ought to be planned, it's all for others' enjoyment, see? To make others happy and those things should require a bit of pre-emptive thought." He left out the unspoken I'm unhappy.
Sirius Black was not happy, she thought.
"Why'd you go back?" She blurted out. She regretted it as soon as it left her lips.
"Sorry?"
"Why'd you go back home?"
He pursed his lips. There was a heavy silence that filled the air between them. It was filled with lines that were drawn. Lines not to be crossed. And Marlene Mckinnon had just shattered one beyond belief.
"I don't mean to pry…" She added on meekly.
"Yes you do. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't mean to pry."
"I'm sorry."
"Merlin, Marlene, and here I thought we were making progress on the apologies."
"I think that one wasn't so unnecessary."
He sucked in his cigarette so hard, she thought he would collapse from the suffocation. He let it out with a sigh.
"Do you want to know something Mckinnon? Hell, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I don't think I've even told James yet. But sometimes I lie in bed and I think of my mum and dad and Regulus. My mum always gets even more distant and far away when she's sad or angry and when she's really stressed, she sometimes gets a bit under the weather. And when I ran away, for the first few nights I just wondered if Kreacher made her the right tea that she liked and chicken broth. I wondered if father beat Regulus and who would be there to heal his cuts. I wondered if my father had eaten at all or if he was just locked in his study out of shame and had no clue how to fix my family. And I feel guilty for worrying about them but they're my family so I shouldn't be. But I do."
She felt the words 'I'm sorry' come across the tip of her tongue, but he shot her a look that chased them away.
"No apologies. I don't seem to remember you playing God and assigning my soul to the Black family. Unless you did, in which case, apologies for using your name in vain and may I tell you how surprised I am to see that your gender has been proven wrong? But then again, a lot of the things I think are wrong."
She laughed, and for a second, it was just them and her laughter that hung around like the smoke.
"It's normal to care for your family, you know. They're your family. You should care for them. They might not be perfect or emphatic. But they raised you the only way they've known. And they do care for you. It's impossible not to care for family. Believe me, I've tried on more than one occasion. I mean, of course, my family's a completely different situation. But still. You shouldn't be worried that you care about your family. I would be worried if you didn't."
His face showed a ghost of a smile, "I don't remember the last time I got such good advice from a girl."
She snorted, "Based on what I've heard, you don't usually go to girls for advice."
He laughed, "Well Mckinnon, maybe I should start."
"Oh, what have I done to the members of the fairer sex?" She joked with a broad smile.
He chuckled and a pleasant, comfortable quiet settled between the two. They leaned against the railing of the platform and let the green fly by.
"Oi," He said, "Want a cig, Mckinnon?"
"Oh thank Merlin, I thought you were never going to offer. Yes, a cig would be heavenly."
"Always a pleasure."
"You know, if you're going to keep on offering me cigs, I do believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Well, it was the beginning of something, alright.