After Neelix Was Gone
By Manda (Mizuno Ami)
He
was really gone. She could barely bring herself to accept it, as she thought of
all the moments when, in the middle of the night, he would have been there in
the galley. A cup of coffee, a quiet conversation until earliest daybreak...she
would turn in and have his calm advice to lull her into slumber.
But
no longer. He had taken the offer she had given him and left with just the briefest
of goodbyes, whisked away in his tiny, beaten craft that had brought him to
Voyager those seven long years past. Naomi was grown, too independent to
realize that she needed him so, and the Captain herself..she knew how she felt.
She would miss him, despite the reservations about his food, and his too often
good humor. She would miss everything about him, and would always wonder.
"How
are you handling this?" Chakotay walked with her, side by side as they
approached their deck- she staring ahead, too raw to do anything but. Her heart
felt heavier than usual… she questioned the decision not openly, but discreetly
within her mind's eye, watching him walk away.
"I
could be better, Chakotay." Pausing, her eyes swung upward, patches of auburn
brushing noticably past them. "I'm beginning to question my decision.."
"It
wasn't your decision, Kathryn." He never hesitated, but continued on in the
middle of the deserted corridor. "You opened the door, and Neelix stepped
through it willingly. It was what he wanted."
"Yes,
but was it best for him?" She murmured. "I wish I hadn't thought..."
"But
you did." Chakotay's hand reached hers, and large fingers squeezed tightly.
"But you did, Kathryn, and it's time to be at peace with what he's done."
"It's
going to be difficult- for everyone." She had come to that conclusion on her
own, the moment she had that talk with him about being the Ambassador—how she
knew what Voyager meant to him, but digging deep inside to discover that
understanding about not wanting to be separated from ones own people. Not that
far. Not thirty-thousand light-years, not twenty. With Barclay's work, and the
Midas Array…Voyager could hope to be home before dinner…and Neelix, in a way,
would be with them.
"But
we'll help them move on." Chakotay's words were more an offer than statement-
an offer to aid her in healing through another heavy-felt loss. Their hands
remained clasped for the time, she finding that the lifeline helped more than
hindered, and not minding the glance of one crewman passing by. One or two-
ways to lift morale were her responsibility now more than ever, and damned if
she would give up what chance came her way. So she smiled up at him.
"Together."
"Yes,
Commander…together." They continued to walk, and she thought of Neelix, turning
her head in the corridor to see his laughing, spotted façade peering from
around a corner. Her smile was broad, and she inclined her chin gently.
"You've
left them in good hands, Mr.Neelix. Safe journey."
-Fin-
