FADE
Chapter 1
It started as an experiment. John had seen some of the other soldiers using it in Afghanistan, a hallucinatory drug that would let you see and speak to your loved ones again. He had even tried it once, and had a nice conversation with a sober Harry. But the next time he had spoken with her in real life, John had been surprised to find her drunk and stuttering. After that he decided to never use it again.
This time it was different though, it had been a year since Sherlock...fell, and John still had a hard time not finding him doing an experiment in the kitchen or plucking at his violin in the living room. God, he missed that arrogant bastard. John just couldn't understand why he even did it. If he could speak to him again, discuss the events of that day, would he finally be able to understand? Anything would be better than not knowing.
Getting the drug was easy. John just had to use his old military contacts, and within the week he had been supplied with around a months worth of product. It wasn't cheap, but Sherlock had left him a large sum of money in his will, and John figured Sherlock wouldn't mind him using it to gain knowledge.
He decided to be careful, John had seen good men get addicted to the stuff and become a danger to themselves and others. He just wanted to see Sherlock again, speak to him, and listen to that deep baritone voice. Maybe, it would help him adapt to the fact that Sherlock wasn't around anymore.
The first time was not what John expected. It had been wonderful to see Sherlock again, but the first thing out of his mouth was "What the hell do you think you're doing? This is dangerous John." It had started an argument that got so loud Mrs. Hudson had come running to see what John was yelling about.
The next few times Sherlock never failed to start their conversations with some form of "This is dangerous." But the longer John used the less Sherlock would warn him, and eventually he stopped altogether, finally resulting in just looking at him with his sad grey eyes. John also restricted their meetings to the confines of 221b, at first. But, after the fifth time he tried to turn and comment about something to him at the store or on the street, John started leaving the flat with Sherlock in tow. People would look at him when he started talking to Sherlock, in the back of his mind he knew it was because Sherlock was not really there, but he ignored them.
At first Sherlock didn't like to speak when they were in public, he didnt like the looks John got. When John started ignoring the looks Sherlock became more talkative. A few weeks later he started making deductions, but they weren't like his old deductions, now they're mostly small things:
"That woman had a bad morning."
"He just got fired."
"They're going through a divorce."
They were nothing like his old grand deductions where he would know a person's life story, but they made him smile or laugh every time.