A/N: I do not own any of the wonderful things Yana Toboso has created.

This was made as a joke of what me and my dear friend think Alois and Ciel's first meeting will be like. We do NOT expect this to happen.

I have edited this Author's note upon request of a reviewer, who found this story insulting. Just so we're clear, this and the following chapters will make fun of small things I found funny from the anime and manga, but it is not a flame or bash, but simply a humor-FF. Like a parody, it will be insulting to some people and I can't help that, but please, IF YOU ARE EASILY INSULTED PLEASE DON'T READ THIS STORY. This story is supposed to be funny, nothing else, so take it lightly.

I am a true fan of this anime and manga series, very dedicated, I assure you. Now...

LET THE FANFICTION ROLL!

The time had finally come. It was in Ciel's office, and the young Earl had his butler to his very right, close enough to touch, but far away enough not to be awkward. And there, standing in the doorway was was Ciel could only describe as, a hoe.

He wasn't over exaggerating, either. The young male didn't look much older than he was, but the looks of him and the short shorts and laced up boots, the coat... he just didn't look pure. And there was a butler, standing calm by the door, golden eyes and glasses that reminded him of his own butler...

He shook the thought away. Thinking of Sebastian in such an admiring way was... abnormal.

Of course, he hadn't said more than, "Hello," when Alois rushed over, fawning over Sebastian. "Ah! Sebastian, keep him away from my desk!" Ciel ordered, an irritated look covering his face.

Sebastian only half heard the command, his glare at Claude so deep, so intense. Almost as if they'd had a previous grudge on each other. Both butlers worked at the command, Claude jealous of Alois' love for other men, and Sebastian's rage for such a small boy so close to him. Well, the exception of Ciel.

"Tch," Ciel turned his head to the side, then leaned over his desk a little, starring Alois down. "Why did you come here?"

Alois pouted, his arms crossed over his chest. "We just came by to say 'Hi', can't we-"

"You're wasting my time." Ciel interrupted, sighing. He stood up, his hands still on his desk and his head down. He was sick of this nonsense.

Sebastian grew a little smile. He seemed to hate the intruders as much as Ciel did, and was glad to see them leave.

Unfortunately, the little hoe fag tramps- I mean, Alois- went through another sudden mood change. His eyes narrowed and his upper lip twitched. "You're supposed to play with me!" He yelled.

Ciel looked confused, then to his trusted (NOTEBOOK! Blues clues ref. :D) butler, frowning. "Sebastian, this is an order. Please show them the exit." he said, his voice a little darker than normal. He wasn't someone easily agitated, but that just further proved how annoying the little fucker- I mean, Alois- was.

Alois looked up at his butler, smiling now. Because he's bipolar... I mean, nothing. "Fight back!" He said, giggling as he ran for Ciel's desk.

Sebastian immediately covered Ciel, but was stopped. "No, take Claude. Give me my cane, I can deal with Mr. Trancy!" Ciel yelled.

Of course, before Claude could put up a fight, he began to tap dance. No doubt giving Sebastian tons of target practice, leaving many forks, sporks, knives, and even spoons, lodged in the demon's body.

Ciel quickly held his cane up to Alois, not taking any moment of reluctance to beat the living shit out of the other Earl. He would beat him to a bloody pulp if it hadn't been for his asthma kicking in.

Of course, Sebastian came and pulled Ciel into his arms to take him to a calmer location. For the Earl's health, of course. Leaving Alois and his butler in the office.

Sadly, Alois had to wait for Claude to finish his stupid tap dance before Claude could carry the boy home. For, just like a normal hoe, he was to beaten up to go home. And that is the story of their first meeting.

A/N: Note, I don't HATE Trancy with a passion. I don't find everything about Alois terrible. I will write about his "good" sides in future chapters. Please, take this story lightly. It is NOT to be taken seriously, it is for your entertainment. I'm sorry that it offends some people, and I'm trying to be as little offensive as I can possibly be while still making a little fun of some silly things in the anime/manga.

Again, please don't hate me. But Bipolar, sadistic little tramp-like-dressed boys aren't really what I look for in a good anime.

Unless it's Grell. You'll see me make fun of him a LOT, but keep in mind, he's my favorite. 3