A/N: Mass Effect is owned by Bioware, EA, Elkoss Combine, yadda yadda yadda, who gives a fladoodle.

The following work was beta'd by the ever talented BSG-Legacy, and is part of the greater "Storming Heaven" series.

It was inspired by this wonderful piece of fan-art: nateyou dot deviantart dot com/art/Minute-348081445

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HOW MANY TROOPS CAN ONE TERRORIST GROUP EVEN HAVE?!" Shepard took aim with her Carnifex and executed three assault troopers with calculated explosive rounds to the head. They erupted in searing fire and dragged a dozen more manipulated husks into the black. "My kill count for these idiots is well over a thousand!"

Shepard blinked as she heard the tell-tale garble of a phantom behind her.

Idiots.

Shepard scoffed and pivoted on her heel to dodge the phantom's slicing lunge at her back.. She used the momentum to snap around and drive her knife into the indoctrinated woman's head, impaling it on the ancient wall. The monomolecular blade cleaved through her armor and grey matter like butter, boring it's way into bulkhead. The phantom screeched out in unholy agony and Shepard grimaced. She twisted the blade to silence the abomination, and pulled it out of the wall.

From across the battlefield, Garrus hummed thoughtfully and splattered the remains of yet another Nemesis. His signature low chuckle crackled over the comm. "I'd say it was worrying if they weren't just so damn easy to kill." His mandibles parted in a wide grin from under his helmet. "...I'm more than a little embarrassed for the Illusive Man. He tries so hard at this."

"Yeah, he really does..." She wiped the drenched flats of her cleaver on her blood-stripe with a chuckle and slid it back into her shoulder sheath. "Almost makes me regret slaughtering these idiots." Shepard fired a trio of explosive rounds into a far-off squad of troopers. They promptly detonated into red mist over the sun-drenched ground of Tuchanka."Almost." Shepard lazily slipped back into cover and loaded a fresh thermal clip into her Carnifex.

Vega interjected through the comm, a bit worried. "I...Lola, you do realize we're in the middle of a damn warzone, right? We're outnumbered, at the very least, fifty to one!" James sprayed down a group of troopers with his Revenant, the incendiary rounds burning through their ranks like napalm. "Scars, c'mon, back me up. Turians don't get all casual in battle, right?" He picked up the machine gun and re-positioned to another piece of cover as a second squad rounds the bend. The ruthless roar of the automatic rifle tears them apart as they enter out into the open.

Garrus chuckled and rested his sniper rifle up against his piece of cover. "I'm really not a model turian, Lieutenant. Shepard can attest to that-"

Shepard laughed once and playfully beckoned through the comm. "Or so he claims.! The Primarch seems to hold you in pretty high regard, Garrus! Have you been lying to me this whole time about your 'rebellious spirit'?" She clicked her tongue playfully and switched her cannon to her off-hand. Shepard snapped off a few rounds at some unsuspecting guardians. Their barricades were shredded from the explosion, and the shrapnel tore through their armor. "You're gonna pay for that..."

Garrus growled lasciviously. "Aha...I fully intend to." He chuckled as James stared at him from across the base with eyes so uncomfortable he almost didn't have to magnify the image. "Be that as it may..." Garrus sat down beside his rifle and rolled his neck. "...we do agree on this specific subject. Fighting Cerberus isn't like the fighting the Reapers. This is more a..." He shrugged. "...welcome breather from the war. For us, at least."

Shepard grinned and channeled dark energy. "Damn right. Trust us, Lieutenant." She pivoted out of cover and wrapped a long mass-effect 'lash' around a far off Nemesis. "Gotta take the vacations..." The sniper screeched and was sent rocketing through the air back toward Shepard. "...where you..." She pulled back her balled hand, creating a low-mass field around her limb, and thrust her arm forward at the helpless husk. Her fist impacted the Nemesis's head in mid-air just as the low-mass field inverted itself around her fist, making the blow exponentially more powerful. The woman's skull caved in under the force and her lifeless body was sent sprawling over the metal floor. "...can find 'em."

James blinked and cursed under his breath. "Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas!" He quickly reloaded his rifle and unloaded on another unsuspecting squad of soldiers.

"Wait, I'm sorry..." Shepard laughed musically, her translator doing it's job rather well. "...your what..." The commander dove forward and hurled herself into a low-mass channel, sending her streaking toward a very unlucky Centurion who just happened to be a bit too close to Garrus. She slammed into him with a flash of blue light and smashed his head into the pavement, snapping his spine with a satisfying crack. "...is full of what?!"

"Just making sure you hadn't gone completely loco, Commander." James snorted and tightened the grip on his rifle. "I'll keep that in mind, by the way. About the vacations."

"See that you do..." Shepard rose back up to her full height and placed her hands on the small of her back. "...and I wouldn't mind coming along for the ride..." She pushed out her chest and balanced on her toes as she stretched her shoulders.

"Well, hell, Lola. Liara told me about this great bed and breakfast on the Citadel...I'm thinking it warrants a first, second and third try, don't you? Doctor's orders."

"I don't know, James... You. Me. A whole week trapped in that bedroom...think you can handle it?"

"Woah! Yeah, I mean...probably...it's not like...uh...there's just so many...it's..." He stumbled and cleared his throat. "...I'm gonna..."

"...shoot some bad guys...?"

"Yeah. Shoot some bad guys." James exhaled and shook the less-than-decent machinations out of his head.

"Good man." Shepard snickered and cracked her neck.

Garrus looked up at her and chuckled. "So. Nice of you to drop by..." He gestured lazily to the very dead centurion. "...and I assume this for me...?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I just couldn't keep myself away..." Shepard grinned from beneath her helmet, and her playful tone only enhanced it. "...that, and it's so much faster than running."

"I've noticed. Remind me never to try and catch you when coming out of one of those." He chuckled and patted the ground beside him.

Shepard smiled and lowered herself down next to her turian, right where his armored talons had instructed. She leaned her head back against the low wall he was using for cover and hummed wryly. "I'm sure you could handle it, Garrus." She shrugged. "It's just like all the other times I've jumped you, but with added bonus of me speeding toward you at three-hundred kph." She smirked and raised a brow at him.

"Three hundred. Really?" He winced coyly. "Ah, too bad. Two-fifty is the hierarchy cut off for insane-romantic-flying-hugs."

Shepard scoffed and her eyes widened in faux-shock behind her helmet. "You asking me to slow down, Vakarian?" She smacked the back of her hand against his hulking barrel chest and laughed.

Without missing a beat, Shepard effortlessly lifted a squad of advancing soldiers off of the ground. The both of them popped off a few rounds from their pistols and the troopers quickly became burning red putty.

Garrus furrowed his browplates and collapsed his pistol. "Never." He rolled his shoulders and rested his helmeted head against the wall. "I just...prefer my arms where they are. I finally got them calibrated right."

"Right. 'Course you did." Shepard chuckled, holstered her cannon, and unlocked the latches on her helm. She removed her helmet and took a deep breath, relishing the feeling of the hot sun on her skin. "Lieutenant. Think you can hold down the fort for a few minutes?" Shepard settled her helmet in front of her and rested her cheek against his armored cowl. Garrus purred and removed his own helmet, placing it beside hers. "Scars and I need to have a chat."

"Uh, I guess..." James frowned and took a quick look around to discern the pair's location. As he realized he couldn't find them, he groaned frustratedly. "Oh...for the love of-seriously?!You two want me to guard your asses while you do...whatever it is...that you two...do...ugh..." He shuddered at the thought and gripped his rifle tighter. "...Now?! Lola, even for you--"

Shepard rolled her eyes and locked her arms around Garrus's right. "Look, no need to get jealous, James.. I'm perfectly capable of not tearing his armor off and mounting him like-"

"Okay, alright! I've got this one! Dios mio, please stop talking!" He shook his head of that horrifying mental image and fired a long burst into another mass of Cerberus troopers.

"Now don't spoil me, James..." She giggled coquettishly. "Going radio silent." Shepard snickered as she clicked off her comm while Garrus did the same. "Although...you do make it damn difficult sometimes..." She smirked wryly and then bit her lower lip. "...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't heavily considering doing just that..."

Garrus flared his mandibles in a wide grin. "As enticing as that offer is...I don't think James would appreciate it..." He chuckled and nestled his plated mouth in her hair.

"Holy shit, he's got a Claymore! Take cover!"

"Hah, yeah. He did seem pretty vocal about that..." Shepard hummed wistfully and allowed her eyes to close. Her breath softened and she nudged a little closer to him. "Mmm...I could sleep right here if I wasn't so sure we'd be..." She yawned. "...three-headed...dog food..."

"COVER CAN'T SAVE YAH NOW, BASTARDS!"

Garrus snickered and bopped his forehead against the top of her head. "...Cerberus...?"

Shepard smiled kindly and hummed. "Yup. I can make bad jokes too, you know."

Garrus shifted the bulk of his weight onto her shoulder, and she grunted in response to supporting him. "Oh. Well, look at that. I've fallen for you."

Shepard slowly turned toward him and pouted. "...Shut up..." She bit her lip and giggled.

"You'd hate that."

Shepard sighed wistfully. "You're right. I would." She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "You're the best."

Garrus pulled his mandibles back in a smile. "Oh, I know." She snorted into a snicker. "But I had a little help..."

"Not all that much, big guy. Not all that much..." Shepard stared into his piercing blue eyes.. Her brow and lips creased with concern. "Does it bother you that I flirt with Vega?"

"Oh, you cabróns think you can hide from me?! Have some of these!"

Garrus shook his head and nipped at her cheek. "Not even remotely. I know you're mine, and so do the both of you."

"GRENADE! SCATTER!"

Shepard sighed and her lips slowly formed a radiant smile. "Good. I..." She laughs breathlessly. "...this is so stupid..." Shepard shook her head and pulled on his arm a little tighter. "...it's just that, he's the first person in yearswho's been able to competently flirt with me." She smiled, a little ashamed. "...it's just so much fun!"

Garrus laughed loudly and leaned his head back. "Spirits, is that why? I thought you just liked keeping him on edge."

Shepard snorted and entwined her armored fingers with his talons. "That's just a bonus. Think about it, though. For the past decade, what do you think people have seen me as?" She looked up at him thoughtfully.

Garrus rumbled thoughtfully and smirked. "I'd have to say...Commander Shepard."

"That shield won't stop a krogan shotgun, buddy!"

Shepard scoffed and punched his arm. "No. I wasn't a Commander ten years ago. I was..." She peeked out of their cover to catch a glimpse of Vega blowing away a Guardian with his Claymore. "...right about where James is, actually. Lieutenant Shepard."

"Curious..." Garrus leaned out to watch him for a moment but then returned his attention to her. "How did they see you, then?"

Shepard settled herself closer to her partner and looked up at him. "Larger than life. I went from enlisted to officer just as fast as Anderson did. Even before Torfan, I was...a model soldier." She frowned. "It got more specific, of course." She shrugged. "'Butcher' came around in '78..." Shepard grinned violently. "For good reason, I might add..."

"And they were all too terrified of the insane biotic woman who ripped batarian heads off for sport to flirt with her? Damn shame." He chuckled and rested his forehead against hers.

"Exactly." Shepard laughed and pressed her lips against his leathery mouth for a quick kiss. "Mmm, and I only did that once! Which, if I recall, you were there for..."

"I remember." Garrus purred wryly. "So that was a special occasion, hm?. Were you trying to impress me, Shepard?" He pulled his mandibles into a wide grin.

"Hey! Scars! Lola! I'm doin' juuuust fine without ya! Thanks for asking!"

"Pbbth, no!"

"Well, that's too bad..." He wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned into his touch, keeping their fingers and talons locked together. "...because it worked."

Shepard scoffed and playfully rolled her eyes. "I'll keep that in mind next time I want to do something special for you..."

"I'd not, if it's alright with you." He dipped his nose into her hair. "...I'd rather not explain a sack of severed batarian heads to Chakwas...or Liara...or Kaidan...or EDI..."

Shepard laughed loudly and grabbed his arms to ground herself. "Oh my God! Liara! Can you imagine?!" She manipulated her voice in her best impression of the asari, which, all things considered, was pretty good. "Shepard, would you care to explain why you left...ugh..a sack of batarian heads on the crew deck? Not only is it unsanitary but, honestly, it's horrific! What could have possibly possessed you to do such a thing?!" She continued her raucous laughter and bit her lower lip when she remembered where they were.

Garrus laughed as well and tightened his embrace around her. "That's...surprisingly accurate. Can you do Grunt?"

Shepard raised a brow at him. "...people already think I'm half-krogan, Garrus..." She cleared her throat and not-too-terribly mimicked to the tankbred's gravely voice. "Looks like you had fun without me, Battlemaster! You gonna eat all of those? RAHAHAHAHA-" Shepard coughed from the overexertion on her vocal chords and caught her breath.

Garrus tenderly nuzzled her cheek. "Alright?"

"You want some of this?! Here, have some! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah." Shepard took a calming breath and blinked. "Actually, that reminds me..." She peaked out of their cover for a moment to see Vega mowing down yet another squad of troopers. "...Hackett's techs were sifting through the SA comm backlog, and they found an ICT commendation for James."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles and peered over the low-wall to watch the lieutenant. "Really. If I recall, that was the same program that you and Anderson attended, right?"

Shepard settled back in behind the wall and Garrus did soon after. "Yeah. Interplanetary Combatives Training. Best of the best. Of the best."

"Right-"

"-of the best." Shepard smiled up at him before continuing. "Got the message about a week ago. Ever since then..." She shrugged. "...I've technically been his training instructor...which is why he's doing this on his own right now." Shepard jabbed her thumb behind her. "But the funny thing is...he doesn't even need one."

"Oh, I see you what you pendejos are trying to do! Not gonna happen! Carnage, comin' at ya!"

Garrus raised a brow-plate and hummed curiously. "You're just that good of a teacher, then?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, not even close. He's just that good, Garrus. Hell, he's twice as good as he thinks he is." She smiled pridefully. "He just doesn't know it yet."

"GET DOWN!"

Garrus rumbled deep in his chest and tilted his head. "...he seems just a capable marine to me..."

Shepard sighed and rested her cheek on his armored cowl. "He's more than just capable, Garrus. Think about it." He stroked his talons through her hair. "He's been keeping up with me, with you, with Kaidan, and..." She furrowed her brow. "...I guess we can count Javik on that scale, right? Hell, a fifty-thousand year old cockroach is keeping up with us!" Shepard chuckled. "If I didn't think he was right for the ground team, I'd have had him transferred. And..." She sighed. "...he reminds me way too much of myself before I got bumped up to N7."

Garrus delved his plated mouth into her hair. "Always the mentor, eh Shepard? Your protege surpasses you, and you move on, just like that?" He hummed wryly and opened his mandibles as if he was stumbling upon some massive revelation. "Maybe...my father was right! Maybe humans are just fickle little pyjaks!"

Shepard snickered into a full blown laugh and knocked her head against his armored cowl. "Look who's talking, dinosaur...kitty...bird."

Garrus looked down at her, mandibles flared in a mischievous smile. "Don't birds eat monkeys on your homeworld?"

Shepard furrowed her brow and looked at him incredulously. "...what..?" She laughed musically. "No! No, good lord, birds do not eat monkeys on Earth!" She buried her face in his neck to muffle her dangerously loud laughter. "...who told you that?!"

"It's a very popular turian belief. I'll be sure to inform every single one of them that they're wrong as soon as this war is over." He tucked her head into the crook of his neck more securely and hummed into his throat. "...though I think they'll be a bit too preoccupied to really care..."

"I can imagine." Shepard took a deep breath and left the safety of his neck with a kiss on his leathery flesh. "...I think I picked up that mentoring instinct from Anderson, actually." She hummed nostalgically. "...and he got it from Jon Grissom. Supposedly."

Garrus chuckled. "And who did Grissom get it from?"

Shepard scoffed. "Nobody. Jon Grissom was an Alliance Marine before there were Alliance Marines!" She set her jaw in pride. "He was the biggest goddamn hero we had...really could use him right about now..."

"ATLAS!"

Not a moment later, a massive thundering crash rattled the ground as the fifteen foot tall combat mech smashed into the ground. It whirled around and began firing it's chain-gun at James, pinning him down.

"LITTLE HELP HERE!?"

Shepard sighed and clicked on her comm "Hold tight, James. We're on it."

"Thank God! I thought you two love birds were dead!"

Garrus unmuted his comm and sealed his helmet in place. "Ready to get back to the war?" He picked up his rifle off of the ground and cradled it.

Shepard locked her helm and double checked her environment seals. "As ready as I'm gonna be."

"Good breather?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"...up for...continuing it later...?"

"Oh, hell yes."

-/o\-

A/N: Auto-flirting with Vega? Subverted! Haha, score two for the...me!

Writing fluff without making it a massive...whatever the last two were? SUCCESS!

Actually having a plan to, oh gee I dunno, continue a story for once? YOU BETCHA! See that "Completed" label? OH, NO YOU DON'T!

Having less than a one month turn-around time for fics? BA-BOOM! I credit that entirely to the picture, though. And BSG-Legacy's promptness.

I've wanted to write Vega and Javik for a very long time. Halfway there! Guess who's coming along next chapter? Oh. Such fun will be had.

And don't worry, Shepard has a legitimate reason for everything she does. She's not one to take the reapers lightly. So any time you see her fighting them, she won't just sit around like this. Nor the geth.

"Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas!" means "My hovercraft is full of eels!". It's an old joke from a very old Monty Python sketch called "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook". Nowadays, it's used in conjunction with bad translators. If you can't translate that phrase to another language and back again, it's a crummy translator.

Was it dumb? Did you hate it? Was it the best thing ever? (Pbbbth, yeah right.) Let me know in a review! :D