Everything was so clear to Angel now. It was ironic really; nothing turned out the way it was "supposed" to, but it all made sense now. Spike, of all things, became a human after the apocalypse. Spike. Not Angel, despite his hard work the last 6 years. Not only was Spike now a human again, but he was with Angel's first love. Spike was off on his honeymoon with Buffy. It was ridiculous really. Like some sort of psycho reality, but it was real enough. The whole thing had hit Angel really badly at first. He was devastated that after working for humanity for so long, it was given to Spike. It was only now that Angel realized he had been helping people so long that, he wanted nothing else but to "help the helpless." He wasn't only helping people to get his humanity anymore; he hadn't been for a while. He liked to help people, and he knew now that he couldn't help people if he was a human. Angel had really come to realize that he never really wanted to be a human to begin with. Now with the senior partners destroyed Angel had all the resources he needed for Angel Investigations. Angel was, however, shocked that he didn't feel too much jealousy of Spike for marrying Buffy. He hadn't attended the wedding, but not because it hurt him. He didn't feel as if he was in love with that same girl anymore. He would always love Buffy, but he was "in love" with someone else…
"Angelcakes, are you okay?" Lorne asked, coming into Angel's office and disturbing his thoughts.
"Yeah. Yes I am fine Lorne." Angel said smiling a little.
"I know you're okay with Spike becoming human, and even him and Buffy, but something's bothering you. Isn't it?" He asked sitting down.
"No really Lorne, I'm okay." Angel said.
"You miss her don't you?" Lorne asked eyeing the picture of Cordelia on Angel's desk.
"Yes. I really do Lorne. I never even got a chance to tell her how I feel. She'll never know how much I love her. That I can't stop thinking about her..." Angel said picking up the picture of the brown haired, beautiful girl that had died 2 years ago.
"I know. I know Angel. But you have to move on. She can't come back, and I know she's looking down on you. I'm sure she knows exactly how you feel." Lorne said reassuringly.
That night Angel sat in his office alone, in the dark thinking about life. About how everything would be perfect, if only Cordy was here with him. He still needed her; she was the one who made him smile, even laugh. He wasn't even sure if he loved Buffy this much, but she was so different from Cordy. Buffy was, Angel had to admit, perfect for Spike. Buffy had never really changed from when he first met her, not in the same way Cordelia had. Cordy had become a new person, and he loved her more than anyone. He just wanted her back.
Angel must have been asleep less than an hour before he woke with a start. Someone was in his room; he could sense it.
"Hello? I know you're in here." Angel said, getting up slowly.
"It's okay Angel. It's me. It's Cordelia." The voice said.
"Cordy? What? How?" Angel stuttered.
"It's okay," she said coming into the light, "the Powers That Be brought me back. They said someone needed me. You, Angel. They told me you needed me."
Angel didn't know what to say. He ran towards her and threw his arms around her.
"I can't believe it Cor! I can't believe you're here," he said stepping back to look at her, "But...I mean what about, well where were you before this...I mean..." Cordy cut him off.
"It's okay, the Powers erased that part of my memory; so I don't know where I was or what happened." She said smiling at Angel.
"Wow. I don't even know where to began. I had so much I wanted to tell you, but know you're here. I don't...well I don't know what to say." Angel said. "Well...it's just that...well..." Angel stuttered.
"Shh." Cordy said as she leaned in and kissed him softly. When she finally pulled away; tears filled her eyes.
"I love you Angel. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just didn't know how to say it. You mean so much more to me than anyone ever has." She said as the tears fell down her face.
Angel lifted his hand and wiped the tears off of her face softly.
"I...I love you too, Cor. I missed you so much. It hurt so bad to know that I lost the one person I loved more than anyone. I love you so much." Angel said.
"But Angel, I can't have a relationship with you, if...well if you still love Buffy." Cordelia said quite bluntly.
"I don't." Angel said, suddenly very serious, " I know you may not believe it, but I don't know, she is not right for me Cor. You always used to say that I always get pulled over the edge by little blondes. You were right Cordy. Buffy made me go over the edge, and Darla very nearly did. You first off, aren't a blonde," he said smiling, "and you haven't taken me over the edge. Well not really, although I felt for sure I'd die without you here. Besides, Buffy is married to Spike now."
"What?" Cordy asked.
"Oh well, to make it short and sweet. Spike became human again, married Buffy. The senior partners are destroyed, so this is no longer Wolfram and Hart. It's our new Angel Investigations building, and I have you back." Angel said grinning.
"Oh. Well I guess I missed a lot eh?" Cordy said smiling.
"Well, anyway. I'm not in love with Buffy, I care about her, because of all we went through. But you are the one I love. The one I can't live without. I think about you all the time, and I never want to lose you again. I love you Cor." Angel said.
They kissed again, softly at first, but then more passionately. They worked their way into Angel's room, bumping into the walls on the way. Cordy slowly pulled Angel's shirt off, and kissed his neck softly. Angel started to unbutton Cordy's blouse as she backed slowly down onto the bed. Angel lay against her and kissed her again. Cordy carefully unbuttoned her pants.
"Cordy. Cor, we can't do this." Angel said quietly, rolling over slowly. "I mean, my curse...well..."
"I know. I don't know, I um just got carried away. Sorry Angel." She said buttoning her pants, as her face turned a scarlet color.
"Cor, it's okay. It's not like I don't want to...I mean...I do. I really do. I just... can't." Angel said.
"I know, sorry. I should go." Cordy said standing up and buttoning her blouse.
"No wait." Angel said taking her hand and pulling her softly down next to him. " Don't go...stay with me. I don't want to be away from you anymore."
"But Angel; are you sure it's good idea that I stay?" She asked.
"I won't let you leave me again Cor." He said pulling her into his bare chest.
Cordy let him wrap his arms around her waist, as she closed her eyes. She knew at that moment that this was where she belonged. Her, in Angel's arms; where she seemed to fit perfectly.
Angel felt the same way. He could hear her heart beat and he felt the butterflies in his stomach. It was funny how even a 250 year old vampire, could feel weak in the knees. He smiled, as the scent of Cordelia's hair filled his senses. He felt whole again; as if Cordy was the missing part, and he was the puzzle. He loved her, and now she was back with him. He wouldn't lose her again, no matter what he wouldn't. But he couldn't have a real relationship with her, not with this curse. He needed something more, but what?
TBC...
"Angelcakes, are you okay?" Lorne asked, coming into Angel's office and disturbing his thoughts.
"Yeah. Yes I am fine Lorne." Angel said smiling a little.
"I know you're okay with Spike becoming human, and even him and Buffy, but something's bothering you. Isn't it?" He asked sitting down.
"No really Lorne, I'm okay." Angel said.
"You miss her don't you?" Lorne asked eyeing the picture of Cordelia on Angel's desk.
"Yes. I really do Lorne. I never even got a chance to tell her how I feel. She'll never know how much I love her. That I can't stop thinking about her..." Angel said picking up the picture of the brown haired, beautiful girl that had died 2 years ago.
"I know. I know Angel. But you have to move on. She can't come back, and I know she's looking down on you. I'm sure she knows exactly how you feel." Lorne said reassuringly.
That night Angel sat in his office alone, in the dark thinking about life. About how everything would be perfect, if only Cordy was here with him. He still needed her; she was the one who made him smile, even laugh. He wasn't even sure if he loved Buffy this much, but she was so different from Cordy. Buffy was, Angel had to admit, perfect for Spike. Buffy had never really changed from when he first met her, not in the same way Cordelia had. Cordy had become a new person, and he loved her more than anyone. He just wanted her back.
Angel must have been asleep less than an hour before he woke with a start. Someone was in his room; he could sense it.
"Hello? I know you're in here." Angel said, getting up slowly.
"It's okay Angel. It's me. It's Cordelia." The voice said.
"Cordy? What? How?" Angel stuttered.
"It's okay," she said coming into the light, "the Powers That Be brought me back. They said someone needed me. You, Angel. They told me you needed me."
Angel didn't know what to say. He ran towards her and threw his arms around her.
"I can't believe it Cor! I can't believe you're here," he said stepping back to look at her, "But...I mean what about, well where were you before this...I mean..." Cordy cut him off.
"It's okay, the Powers erased that part of my memory; so I don't know where I was or what happened." She said smiling at Angel.
"Wow. I don't even know where to began. I had so much I wanted to tell you, but know you're here. I don't...well I don't know what to say." Angel said. "Well...it's just that...well..." Angel stuttered.
"Shh." Cordy said as she leaned in and kissed him softly. When she finally pulled away; tears filled her eyes.
"I love you Angel. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just didn't know how to say it. You mean so much more to me than anyone ever has." She said as the tears fell down her face.
Angel lifted his hand and wiped the tears off of her face softly.
"I...I love you too, Cor. I missed you so much. It hurt so bad to know that I lost the one person I loved more than anyone. I love you so much." Angel said.
"But Angel, I can't have a relationship with you, if...well if you still love Buffy." Cordelia said quite bluntly.
"I don't." Angel said, suddenly very serious, " I know you may not believe it, but I don't know, she is not right for me Cor. You always used to say that I always get pulled over the edge by little blondes. You were right Cordy. Buffy made me go over the edge, and Darla very nearly did. You first off, aren't a blonde," he said smiling, "and you haven't taken me over the edge. Well not really, although I felt for sure I'd die without you here. Besides, Buffy is married to Spike now."
"What?" Cordy asked.
"Oh well, to make it short and sweet. Spike became human again, married Buffy. The senior partners are destroyed, so this is no longer Wolfram and Hart. It's our new Angel Investigations building, and I have you back." Angel said grinning.
"Oh. Well I guess I missed a lot eh?" Cordy said smiling.
"Well, anyway. I'm not in love with Buffy, I care about her, because of all we went through. But you are the one I love. The one I can't live without. I think about you all the time, and I never want to lose you again. I love you Cor." Angel said.
They kissed again, softly at first, but then more passionately. They worked their way into Angel's room, bumping into the walls on the way. Cordy slowly pulled Angel's shirt off, and kissed his neck softly. Angel started to unbutton Cordy's blouse as she backed slowly down onto the bed. Angel lay against her and kissed her again. Cordy carefully unbuttoned her pants.
"Cordy. Cor, we can't do this." Angel said quietly, rolling over slowly. "I mean, my curse...well..."
"I know. I don't know, I um just got carried away. Sorry Angel." She said buttoning her pants, as her face turned a scarlet color.
"Cor, it's okay. It's not like I don't want to...I mean...I do. I really do. I just... can't." Angel said.
"I know, sorry. I should go." Cordy said standing up and buttoning her blouse.
"No wait." Angel said taking her hand and pulling her softly down next to him. " Don't go...stay with me. I don't want to be away from you anymore."
"But Angel; are you sure it's good idea that I stay?" She asked.
"I won't let you leave me again Cor." He said pulling her into his bare chest.
Cordy let him wrap his arms around her waist, as she closed her eyes. She knew at that moment that this was where she belonged. Her, in Angel's arms; where she seemed to fit perfectly.
Angel felt the same way. He could hear her heart beat and he felt the butterflies in his stomach. It was funny how even a 250 year old vampire, could feel weak in the knees. He smiled, as the scent of Cordelia's hair filled his senses. He felt whole again; as if Cordy was the missing part, and he was the puzzle. He loved her, and now she was back with him. He wouldn't lose her again, no matter what he wouldn't. But he couldn't have a real relationship with her, not with this curse. He needed something more, but what?
TBC...