Chapter One: Crushes and Bacon

Disclaimer: I do not (And wish not to.) own the Gorillaz. In fact, it will all make sense why I'm using them in the first place later on.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the tour of a bizarre imagination. My name is Vivian and I shall be your tour guide today.

First off, let's cover some of the basics of the following story. Four out of five of the characters in it are non-fictional. . . In a way. They're the cartoons of the Gorillaz: 2D, Murdoc, Noodle, and Russel. The fifth character is one that I've made up named Nikki. Nikki is very. . . Interesting. No one really knows much about her past, but anyone who knows her well knows that she is always optimistic in an odd way. She's also a true rocker who loves any rock band from Green Day to The Rolling Stones or from Yellowcard to The Sex Pistols.

What little bit the Gorillaz know about Nikki's past is best known by Noodle. Because not too long ago, they had met each other when they were both still living in Japan. Nikki had moved there from the US and taught Noodle English.They were friends ever since, despite the large age difference. As Noodle brought the Gorillaz back, she started inviting Nikki to the Kong Studio so frequently, they donated an extra bedroom to her for when she visited. She even helps record their songs sometimes, though she always insists that they would be bigger hits if they had more rock music. They ignore her.

I bet you wanna know more about the Gorillaz, huh? Visit their website, you lazy ass. I don't have enough time to be writing their bios.

Anyways, we shall go ahead and visit the time and place where the story starts: Kong Studios, 9:55 AM.

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Noodle yawned as she walked out of her room, fully dressed and fully hungry. The corridor seemed empty for a few seconds as she made her way to the elevator, but the silence was suddenly popped by 2D who just ran in from around the corner. He spotted Noodle, and a speck of hope sparked in his pitch black eyes. . . If possible, that is.

"Noodle! I'm glad I caught you!" he said, leading her away from the elevator and towards the end of the corridor.

"2D, what is going on?" she asked, a bit worried he would mollest her or something.

"I need to tell you something," he said, looking over his shoulder. "But you must swear not to tell anyone."

Noodle was a bit suspicious, but nodded anyways.

"Y-you know Nikki, right?" he stuttered.

Noodle folded her arms. "No, I have no idea who the hell has been living across the hall from me for the past two years."

"Look, don't give me a hard time right now," he said, looking over his shoulder for the fourth time.

"Then spit it out!" Noodle snapped, growing impatient due to her stall for breakfast.

"Fine! I have a crush on Nikki!"

Noodle was too shocked to say anything. But after thinking it over for a few minutes, she laughed uncontrollably.

"W-what's so funny?" 2D demanded, his face now a bright crimson shade.

Noodle forced a sentence before a giggle. "You? A crush? You are joking!"

"Shut up, shrimp. I am capable of human emotions," he said, a bit aggitated that one of his friends was laughing at him in his time of need.

"Okay, okay," she said, still smiling. "I won't tell. But secrets aren't kept very well around Kong Studio, 2D."

Before he could open his mouth, a door opened and revealed the said girl herself.

"'Morning, guys," Nikki said. "I heard Noodle laughing. Did I miss anything?"

2D was frozen on the spot and said nothing. Noodle kept her promise, though, and lured Nikki away from the distressed boy.

"Just thought of something funny," she said, walking towards the elevator. "Come on, Nikki, let's go get something to eat. I'm starved."

The last 2D saw of them disappeared behind the elevator door. He was overcome by relief, but a bit too soon.

One of the doors in the corridor was kicked, and I mean literally KICKED, down as suddenly as a bomb. The foot guilty of the disturbance came from none other than Russel. And the cause of the disturbance came just as quickly.

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON NIKKI!" Russel yelled, his eye twitching in excitement while the hog under his arm squealed just as loudly.

2D jumped at the unpleasant surprise. "How'd you find out?" he asked.

"Dude, you shouted it," Russel replied in a monotone. "I'm surprised your girl didn't hear it."

"She's not my girl!" 2D yelled. "And you can't tell her! In fact, don't even tell Murdoc!"

"What will happen if I do?" Russel asked, a sinister look on his face.

"If you do, so help me you will find that pig of yours on a plate tomorrow!"

Russel gasped and stepped away, clutching his companion tighter. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me, hog boy!"

Suddenly, they heard a hollow laugh coming from around the corner of the corridor. 2D recognized it immediately and scowled.

Murdoc walked towards them, still laughing cruelly.

"Not to worry, mates," he said, giving a toothy smile. "I've already found out. I couldn't help but eavesdrop after I heard Russel's door being knocked down."

"I was too excited," Russel said, grinning from ear to ear. "2D'S GOT A CRUUUUUSH!"

"Oh, Russel," 2D began. "Bacon."

"YOU CRUEL ASS FIEND! BURN IN HELL!"

With that exclamation being said, he stormed to the elevator and escaped from the pig roaster. As the elevator took off, Murdoc turned back to 2D, still smiling.

"So, you've got an eye for Nikki?" Murdoc asked, trying to confirm what he heard.

"Buzz off, duh for brains," 2D snarled, using Murdoc's usual petname. "I'm not in the mood."

"Aw, come on, 2D. I only wish to talk about it."

"I'm not sure you're telling the truth there."

"And why is it that you're not making your move? Aren't you supposed to be a smooth operator or something?"

"And why is it you're not plotting to take her away from me in case I do hook up? Isn't that your usual plan of vengeance?"

"Nikki's not actually my type. She's not slutty enough."

2D scoffed. "You're too predictable."

Murdoc ignored it. "So, are you going to ask her out or what?"

"Leave me alone, dumbass," 2D grumbled.

Murdoc laughed once more. "Fine, keep your emotions bottled up," he said. "But if you ever need to chat, you know where I'm parked."

He left, isolating 2D in the corridor. After a few minutes, his stomach growled at him, tell him to get his ass downstairs to be fed.

"Shut up, you bastard, we're going," he said, walking to the elevator.