The Princess Intervention

Belle was led into Prince Eric's castle, her mind filled with excitement and suspicion. Jasmine had been acting strange when she picked her up at the Forest Castle, and the magic carpet ride was anything by magic. When she arrived inside the guest lounge area, she was shocked to see all her friends there! Snow White, Aurora, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Ariel, Pocahontas, Mulan, and Tiana were all there.

"Have a seat, darling." Aurora spoke with a grave voice.

"Something smells in here." Tiana muttered as Belle took a seat.

"Yes I noticed it as well, what ever could it be?" Snow White asked.

"It's me." Ariel murmured. "I was born in the ocean, okay."

"Right…" Aurora continued. "Back to the matter at hand."

"It's really noticeable." Tiana pushed on, ignoring Aurora.

"I was a mermaid! I can't do anything about how I smell when I was half fish, now can I?"

"But you're human now. You shouldn't have any excuse on why you stink so bad." Tiana plugged her nose.

"Can we get on with this… I have to go back home and scrub the floor." Cinderella complained, but was drowned out by Ariel's shouting.

"I take baths everyday, there isn't anything else I can do!"

"Please don't tell me you're washing yourself in the ocean." Tiana groaned.

"Where else would I bathe?" Ariel stamped her foot.

"Moron…" Tiana gritted her teeth. "That's why you stink."

"You stink!"

"I do not!"

"You stink of a commoner!" Ariel pointed her finger.

"Fuck you, fish-bitch!" Tiana stood up and hiked up her skirt, ready to fight. "Not everyone here is born into royalty you know. Cinderella, Belle, and Mulan are just like me, and you don't go around calling them commoners!"

"Technically, I'm not royalty either." Mulan said meekly.

"Prince Charming beats me and makes me wash the whole castle." Cinderella said even meeker. No one paid attention.

"They might be from common births, but they embrace the life of a Princess where as you cook in a kitchen." Ariel grinned angrily.

"I live with my Dad." Mulan scratched the back of her head. "I'm not even sure why I'm here. I'm not a princess, but Kida is, and she's not here… "

"You're here because you're Chinese." Pocahontas whispered.

"Oh… a race thing." Mulan blinked.

"Ladies!" Aurora shouted. "We're getting off topic. We're here for Belle."

"I was beginning to wonder what all this is all about." Belle looked around.

Rapunzel stood up. "Fact of the matter is, we're concerned about you. We are happy that you joined our small group of friends, and that you are living the life of a Princess, but we have one issue to take up with you."

"Is it because out of everyone here, I'm the only one that aspires to be better than I am and pick up every book I can and learn?"

"No… that's not it." Jasmine raised an eyebrow. "Although I think you just called all of us stupid."

"Not all of you." Belle said, and looked at Snow White, who was gayly kicking her feet back and forth on her chair.

"Is it that my Prince has a kingdom, but no subjects and is in fact the ruler of nothing but a creepy wood?"

"No that's not it either. Pocahontas is ruler of some unimportant and soon to be conquered woods and we don't care. She might be a savage, but she's one of the good ones." Tiana said.

"Hey!"

"Then what is it?" Belle asked, then looked around. "Are you throwing me a party?"

"I had a party once!" Snow White giggled. "All the forest animals came and we danced and laughed and cleaned some little dwarves house!"

There was a pause of silence, then Aurora continued. "No that's not it either."

"Then what?"

"Frankly… we don't like that you've been sleeping around with an animal." Ariel said.

"What?" Belle blinked. "Beast isn't a-"

"An animal? His name is Beast!" Ariel pointed out.

"Oh that's real rich coming from Miss Fish-legs." Belle wrinkled her nose.

"At least I was once half-human. But I'm a real girl now. He's nothing but fur!"

"He's a man!" Belle stood up.

"Is he?" Jasmine asked. "I've seen that castle, I've visited all your servants, but I've never seen him. He's always 'away' or 'on business'."

"Your staff won't say anything about 'the master'. They call him Master! They are so afraid of him!" Ariel went on.

Cinderella came in. "Not only that, when you talk to the people in the near by town, they all describe a horrible beast that forced you into marriage by kidnaping your father. They tried to rescue you, but he was so mighty he flung all his belongs at them, driving them away…"

" And the death of the village hero Gaston… it's so graphic I don't even want to think about it." Rapunzel weeped into her hanky.

"We think that your fear has driven you into this state. That you believe that horrible creature is a man now, only so you can keep your sanity." Aurora finished for everyone.

"That's just absurd!" Belle looked angrily at them.

"You're absurd!" Tiana pointed threateningly.

"Oh don't start that again, getting pissed at nothing." Ariel rolled her eyes at Tiana.

"Maybe I'd be in a better mood if it didn't stink in here."

"Silence!" Aurora shouted. "For the love of Walt, why can't we all just get along."

Tiana's eye twitched. "I'm hoping you just phrased that wrong…"

"Oh sure, when things aren't going your way, you have to pull the race card. How typical." Ariel snorted.

"Why don't you screw off, cunt-face!"

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me! Or is your hearing as bad as your smell?"

"TIME TO DIE, WHORE!" Ariel picked up the bread knife that was laying on the snack table and lounged for Tiana.

"No stop!" Rapunzel stood up and jumped in front of the two.

The lounge erupted with action, as the rest of the princesses tried to hold both Ariel and Tiana from each other, with Rapunzel in the middle literally pushing them apart. But the scuffle soon took a turn for the worst when a ear piercing scream caused all of them to stop. Stepping away from the commotion, there on stood a blank faced Rapunzel, with the bread knife stuck in half way in her left eye. It was so deep it pierced her brain, and she fell lifeless on the floor, creating a pool of blood for her body to soak up.

"By Allah, what the fuck did you do, Ariel!" Jasmine gasped.

"I… I didn't do it." Ariel's skin was whiter than Snow White's vacant glazed over face.

"You had the knife, fish girl!" Tiana shouted.

"I lost it when everyone pushed in." Ariel whimpered. Honest, I'm telling the truth."

Cinderella hung her head. "It's true, I pull the knife from her as soon as I grabbed her. But I passed it on to someone else."

"And I threw it away." Pocahontas finished the tale of the traveling knife.

Belle stepped away from the ever growing pool of blood. "So how did the Knife end up in her eye? Someone had to of done it."

"It wasn't me." Pocahontas said again. "Just because I had it last doesn't mean it was me. I threw it over there." She pointed towards the snack table.

"Then either someone is lying, or there secret murderer in the room that no one thinking of."

"I did it." Snow White said with a grin.

"What?" Aurora asked in bewilderment.

"I thought Ariel lost her knife. So I wanted to give it back to her. I threw it over everyone's heads because there were ever so many people in the way. I suppose Ariel couldn't catch it and it accidentally landed in Rapunzel's eye."

"Oh Snow!" Everyone moaned.

"Darling, that's a horrible thing you did. It's dangerous throwing knives like that!" Aurora gave Snow White a stern look.

"I'm sorry! I really am. I didn't mean to murder someone again."

"Again?" Mulan mumbled. "Perhaps I should leave before someone else accidentally dies."

"NO!" Jasmine stamped her foot, accidentally splashing blood on everyones shoes. "We're here to talk to Belle about the Beast! And everyone is going to calm down!"

"Someone should clean up that mess, first." Tiana looked at the lifeless body of Rapunzel.

"You do it!" Ariel groaned. "You're the one who's bothered by it. Don't want to upset your oh-so-sensitive nose."

"You're just a grade-A bitch through-and-through aren't you?"

"I'll do it." Cinderella said moodily. "I'm used to it."

While Cinderella started dragging Rapunzel's lifeless body out to the balcony, the other Princesses continued with the intervention.

"The fact of the matter is… Beast is a man now. He was under an enchantment that changed him into a Beast as a punishment." Belle explained. "Once he knew true love, and had true love returned to him by someone else, then the spell would be broken. And that's what happened. I fell in love with the Beast for his soul and personality, and he turned into the a Prince!"

"That's sounds rather ridiculous." Aurora looked skeptically around at the other girls, as Cinderella was heaving the body over the balcony's railing behind her.

"Oh really? Who in here has been enchanted magically to sleep until true loves kiss?"

"Oh! I know!" Snow White raised her hand. "It was me!"

"I think she was meaning me, Snow, but… I guess technically you count for that too." Aurora gave Snow White a smile someone gives to a retarded child who shows everyone a crayon drawing of a tiger that actually looks like a volkswagen.

"Okay, so Magic exists." Jasmine said as the sound of a splash came from behind her as Rapunzel's dead body hit the water below the balcony. "I've seen plenty of it myself. But that's not the issue. Even if he is a human now, you fell in love with him as an animal."

"So?" Belle said, moving her feet as Cinderella was on the floor mopping up blood with a rag. "I fell in love with the human soul with in."

"Everyone knows animals don't have souls." Tiana rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me. Didn't you turn into a Frog… by magic, and could only change back by…"

"Okay Okay…." Tiana grumbled.

"And didn' t YOU fall in love with YOUR prince when HE was a FROG?" Belle pointed accusingly.

"That doesn't count because I was a Frog also and we didn't think we'd change back to normal." Tiana complained.

"Animals have souls." Pocahontas said all late, moving her leg as Cinderella scrubbed passed her. "Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean your train of thought is better than others."

"Oh shut up, Pocahontas… no one cares." Tiana said.

"Point is…" Belle went on. "Most of us in here has experienced magic, and our love has been affected by it. To single me out when Tiana loved a Frog, Prince Eric a mermaid, and Jasmine a Street Rat is completely ridiculous. You're all assholes."

"I'm not an asshole." Mulan grumbled. "I'm not a princess, I've never seen magic, and I haven't feel in love due to magical events. PLUS I haven't even accused you of anything. Why am I even here again?"

Cinderella stood up and wiped her forehead, smearing a long streak of blood across her face. "Okay, I've finished. Do you have a bath I can use, Ariel?"

"Here we go…" Pocahontas murmured looking at Tiana.

"You better not tell her to step in the ocean and skinny dip."

"And why not? That's what I do. The people of my kingdom have never complained! It's just you!"

"They're not complaining because you're skinny dipping in public, you stupid slut." Tiana pointed out.

"I think we all should Skinny-dip." Snow White said out of no where. Everyone looked at her blankly. "It sounds ever so much fun."

Cinderella groaned. "I just tossed the body into the ocean, Snow. We'll get all messy."

"Oh, that won't do." Snow White pouted.

Belle placed her hands on her hips. "Are you guys done with all the finger pointing now? I think I've proven my point."

Jasmine sighed. "I have to admit, she defended herself excellently, although I should point out that Aladdin wasn't an actual street-rat, but a poor person."

"Street Rat, Poor-Person, what's the difference?" Aurora laughed.

"Ha. Ha. Not funny." Tiana and Jasmine both said.

"Girls… I'm literally covered in blood here…."

"C'mon," Ariel stood up. "There is an in-door bath in my husband's room. That might be more to your liking. I'll show you where it is, then I'm going to call some palace guards and tell them that Rapunzel had an accident."

"Why don't you join Cinderella while you're in there… save all our noses."

"Go fuck a Frog… oh wait, you already have." Ariel stuck her tongue out at Tiana and walked out the room.

"Well this was entertaining." Pocahontas sighed. "Come, Mulan, let's find Kida and do something worth while… like star in a movie that only does mediocre, and hated by a vast online community."

"Whatever…." Mulan shrugged. "These girls are out of their minds… and I talk to imaginary Dragon's that sound like Eddie Murphy."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Pocahontas asked as they both walked out the room.

"Everyone's going… we probably should too." Jasmine said to Belle. "Tiana, want a ride? France is right next to whatever fictional kingdom your husband rules, isn't it?"

"Guess it could be, I never bothered to ask…"

And so Aurora and Snow White were the only ones left in the lounge. They both looked at each other and Aurora sighed. "Now what?"

"I was wondering how a silly toss I made with that knife could have possibly ended up in Rapunzel's eye?"

"It was just a fluke, Snow."

"Really. If I were to do it again…."

"Snow, where did you get that knife…. Snow… sit down…. No! Snow, don't throw that knife…SNOW… SN-"

"Oh my! I guess flukes happen a lot around here! Or maybe I have discovered a new talent!" Snow White giggled. "I think I'd like to should show Cinderella! She'll be ever so surprised!"

The End.