Mein Rasend Herz
Summary: Everything he ever did…was all for naught. Now, his final act of revenge would be all for her, for Lucy. Oneshot. [Sweeney/Lucy]
Text:
"Speech"
Thoughts
Flashbacks
Song:
"Rasend Herz"-In Extremo
A/N: The title of this oneshot means "My Raging Heart" in German and I based it off on the German metal folk band's song/album name. I will have translations for the lyrics at the end. Also, I do use lines in the final scene of Sweeney Todd so if some parts sound familiar, I got them straight from the movie.
Disclaimer: If I owned Sweeney Todd, do you really think I'd be sitting here, writing a fanfic about it? …Perhaps but I definitely wouldn't be worrying about college tuition and being a broke college student. In other words, I don't own anything.
"Ersehnte ich den Tanz
Nach Sternen greifend
Missachtend deren Glanz.
Mein rasend Herz zur Faust geballt
Wird euch den Raubzug befehlen
Die klare Stimme zum Himmel schallt
Dem Schicksal das Glück zu stehlen
Mein rasend Herz
Mein rasend Herz."
-RasendHerz, In Extremo
In his life, Sweeney Todd has had his entire world crash down on him three times.
The first time was when he framed for a crime he never committed, and was brutally and unjustly torn apart from his dear beloved wife, Lucy, and their daughter, Johanna.
The second was when he returned to Fleet Street only to find his wife gone, raped, and deceased while his daughter remained a prisoner in the house of the very man who ruined his life.
The third and last time was when he beheld the dirty, tattered, and yet still beautiful of face of his wife, even in beggar's rags. And he had killed her with a flick of his wrist and the silver glint of his razorblade.
I killed her…I killed my darling, my sweet, my lovely Lucy.
"'Don't I know you?' she said," he whispered distantly, his mind wandering back to the last memory he had of Lucy when she was alive. Why was he so hasty in dispatching her off? Why was his mind so clouded in his lust for revenge? Why did the judge have to come at that specific time? Why did this have to happen?
Then the final, most perturbing thought rang inside his head: Why didn't Mrs. Lovett tell me about her?
The answer, of course, was more sinister, darker than he imagined.
Because she already knew about Lucy. She just choose not to tell you about her living, you foolish man.
He really should have known better.
"You knew she lived." The words left his lips before he even thought about them, they were natural, like a reflex. But his eyes, his mind, his heart were elsewhere, all attached to Lucy, his beloved, slain wife. If only he knew of her existence, she wouldn't be dead!
He could sense Mrs. Lovett's tense, wary manner when she replied. "I was only thinking of you."
Lies, lies, hideous lies! Every poisonous word that fell from her mouth was a lie, a fallacy, a canard. Her falsehood destroyed the only chance he had in reuniting with Lucy. Those lies were the force that guided his hand into slicing her throat open and gifting her a choker of crimson.
That was his last present to his wife. And he never even gave her glittering rubies.
"You lied to me." The accusation was more a statement than a question.
"No, no, not lied at all, no, I never lied," began Mrs. Lovett, trying to amend her mistake but Sweeney didn't care. All he wanted to was to look and gaze upon his wife, who was still beautiful and fair even though she had fallen from so high.
"Lucy..." he moaned softly, despising himself more and more. Why did he have to go on that maddening, sanguinary rampage after the judge? Yes, he had earned his revenge but the cost was his wife, too high of a price. To him, she was worth more than a thousand chances for retribution against Judge Turpin.
"Said she took the poison, she did, never said that she died…"
I don't care.You never told me that she lived! YOU STILL LIED TO ME!
The raging, dark musings of Sweeney Todd slowly came back, whispering maliciously into his ear but for once, Sweeney didn't want to listen to them. All he wanted was his Lucy, his precious, darling, sweet, lovable Lucy. All he wanted now was to be her husband again, to be a father to Johanna, the daughter he would never see. That was the real dream he had ever since he took his first step back on London soil so many months ago.
"I've come home again," he whispered to his wife, stroking her ratty yet soft blonde hair. When he was away and on the sea, he had always craved to say that to her when he was free of his miserable sentence. Now, he finally had the opportunity but ironically, she couldn't hear him and he was no longer home. The place that once sheltered him had now transformed in a horrible nightmare. A nightmare weaved by Mrs. Lovett, the woman he believed to be his only ally.
Oh, what a wretched fool he was!
"Poor thing, she lived, but it left her weak in the head. All she did for months was just lie there in bed." Mrs. Lovett was now trying to explain herself, begging him to understand that his poor wife Lucy was in a state worse than death when she attempted to poison herself. Sweeney Todd barely heard any of her pitiful excuses; he would rather spend the last of his moments with Lucy than with her. He would not waste a single breath on that woman.
But as the bitter fury faded away again, the pain returned and he felt water prickling his eyes, ebony pools of unfathomable hatred now became swirls of anguish and torment, a reminder of what he had done.
"Lucy..." he murmured, hoping, praying that his voice would revive her, stroke life back into her eyes, her cheeks, her heart, her body. All he could think about was having her back into his life again, with her shining azure eyes and cheerful smiles. Memories of their life together, short as it was, came rushing back to Sweeney, and tears unconsciously welling up in his eyes.
The way she brushed her hands against him when she was nervous or wanted his opinion on something…
Lucy! His mind cried out in agony, trying to suppress the agonizing recollections. But the memories kept on returning.
"Benjamin!" Her voice was light and excited, true blue eyes sparkling with mirth and utter joy. "What do you think we should name the baby? I was thinking of Thomas if we had a boy."
His smile matched his wife's, so contagious was her happiness and laughter. "Thomas is fine name. Do I get to put in my two cents if it's a girl?"
Lucy nodded her head gaily. "Of course, you do! What name do you have in mind?"
The answer came to him, clear as the morning sky. "Johanna."
Suddenly, Mrs. Lovett's voice shattered his musings, his memories, destroying the image of happy Lucy, the days before Judge Turpin and his quest for revenge. Irritated, Sweeney simply tuned Mrs. Lovett out, not wanting to hear any more of her excuses or the sad condition of his wife. He already knew what had happened, what he had done.
What I have done… I killed the only woman I ever loved.
He knew this before but the shock had protected him. Now, the shock had faded away and Sweeney was left to face the consequences of his actions, his crimes. Lucy, his precious, sweet Lucy, had paid the ultimate price.
"Oh my god..." he choked out, pushing the tears back, his heart and soul aching and crying out for Lucy, praying for her forgiveness, and begging her to never, ever, leave him again. Why, after so long, did Fate rend them apart again just when they unwittingly found each other? Was this his real punishment for all his murders, his sins?
Lucy, Lucy, oh my darling Lucy, I never wanted you to be caught up in this. If I had known you were alive, I would have saved you and rescued our daughter. We would have been the family you always wanted, the family you dreamed about.
"Lucy..." Please forgive me, Lucy, please forgive me. I did all of this for us, for the broken family and dreams we shared.
But any chance of those dreams and that family resurrecting from the ashes was obliterated not by Judge Turpin, the Beadle, or Mrs. Lovett, but by him, Sweeney Todd, and the swift stroke of his arm and razorblade.
"What have I done?"
His soft, solemn cry of anguish went unanswered and he clutched the corpse of his wife even close to him, hoping that perhaps this time, the heat of his body would warm Lucy up and breathe new life into her. But no matter how many attempts he made, she still remained pale, lifeless, and cold as ice. Despite the chilly feel of her skin, Sweeney reached out to stroke her cheek, his mind being swept into more memories of long ago.
Wheaten curls bouncing against her back as she swayed to music from outside…
He missed her dancing.
How sweet, tender, and caring she was to others and to him, especially when he hurt himself. No matter how small the scrape was, she wanted to help anyway.
He missed her healing touch.
Dogs barked all around her but Lucy didn't mind. She just laughed, petted them, and feed all the dogs treats. She then would remark about how they should, one day, get a puppy.
But most of all, he sorely missed her gentle, loving soul.
"Could that thing have cared for you like me?"
The memories of Lucy disappeared instantly in his mind, dissolving from Mrs. Lovett's latest remark, a stinging insult against his wife. Suddenly, the amiable, cheerful world with his Lucy vanished from the barber's mind and Benjamin Barker was no more. Sweeney Todd had returned, with his head rife with devious, dark, and perturbing thoughts. He had one last enemy to vanquish, one last stroke of vengeance to fulfill.
And it would one nasty piece of work.
Working that devilishly charming smile on his face, Sweeney simply whirled around and preyed on Mrs. Lovett's fantasies, backing her up against a wall, complimenting on her practicality and crafty personality while he coldly calculating his vendetta.
My path of revenge is almost done, Lucy. When I am finished, I will come back to you.
And so Sweeney Todd started spinning his deadly web.
He took Mrs. Lovett's hand, called her his "love" (that word tasted so bitter and acidic in his mouth), and began twirling her around the room. Already was Mrs. Lovett enamored, her eyes full of love, and she spouted off their new life together, by the sea. Sweeney wanted to laugh derisively at this prospect but he kept his silent and told her about his forgiveness (a fine lie it was, he was an expert on deceit).
I'm almost most there, Lucy…
He swept Mrs. Lovett off her feet, spinning and whirling her around, in this magnificent dance of deception, of death.
We'll be together soon, Lucy…
Mrs. Lovett's lips were moving and words were falling out of her mouth but Sweeney barely cared to hear what she was saying. All he could think about was his dead wife and his final revenge. He guided Mrs. Lovett around the room, eyeing the oven methodically, slowly moving him and his accomplice nearer towards the burning, twisted, blackened metal vault of fire. He was close…so close to vengeance…
Are you watching me, Lucy? This one is for you, all for you.
The end was nearing, he could practically sense it as he and Mrs. Lovett spun around in circles, singing and smiling in a chamber reeking with death, blood, and corpses. And Sweeney Todd planned to add one more victim that list.
"Just keep living it, really living it!"
The act was all over now. The tall, imposing oven was just behind them and he immediately seized his chance.
With his strength, Sweeney Todd pooled all his festering hatred, rage, and despair together and brutally shoved the ultimate betrayer into the blazing, greedy flames of hell. He ignored Mrs. Lovett's screams of horror and pain as she was burning alive while he harshly shut the oven door in her face. He then slowly turned away from the oven and sluggishly walked back to his wife, behaving as though he were still stuck in a dream.
I did it, Lucy. I finally avenged our family. Now all of this is over and we can be together…
Sweeney sunk back down on his knees, laying Lucy's corpse across his lap. He stroked her matted, wheaten hair once more, his mind drifting back into the past. Of memories of her, his precious Lucy, and all the dreams they shared. Now there wouldn't be anyone else who would try to tear them apart–never again.
Lucy…I'm still here. I have always been here, right beside you. I never knew it, until now.
And when a flick of sharp blade tore through his throat and spilled his lifeblood on the floor and on Lucy's dirty face, he didn't care. The pain meant nothing to him. Life kept him away from his darling, virtuous Lucy. Death freed him from this miserable existence to be with her once more.
Darkness clouded his vision, consuming his mind, and as his eyes grew heavy, a final thought echoed inside the recess of his head, staying with him until Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, expired.
Lucy…I'm coming. I'm coming home!
Translation to lyrics:
"I long for a dance
Reaching for the stars
Disregarding their luster
My raging heart is clenched to a fist
If you order the raid
The clear voice resounds to heaven
To steal the lucky fate
My raging heart
My raging heart."
So ff(.)net likes smashing my words together when they are either in bold or italics. Hopefully, I got everything fixed (I'm not even going to bother with the strange formanting of the English lyrics). Anyway, read, review, fave-whatever floats your boat.
~~SpeedDemon315