The woes of not being male

by harmonemmy

The unknown Akatski members diary. I am presuming that it is a girl I saw an openeing for an akatsuki RP on Akatsukilove on LJ, and this was my entry for possible journal post. Rated T for possible language remembering for the weak.

I HATE being the only girl. No one gets why I NEED to have really long showers. Except for Itachi and Deidara. They know how much of a pain long hair is.

"You've been taking up the bathroom for twenty minutes! What are you doing, cleaning?"

"Do you realize how much it costs to heat water? We can't afford you taking longer than ten minutes."

"IF I DON'T HAVE A FRESH PIE IN AN HOUR I'LL PUT PEANUT BUTER IN YOUR KEYBOARD. ZETSU IS ON A MISSION AND I NEED PIE NOW!"

I mean, WTF. Half-an-hour isn't enev that long. It's not just soap and shampoo, you know. I need to use conditioner, and moisturizer, and I need to wash my face, use an exfoliator on my rough spots, and then I need to shave. Otherwise, I just feel nasty.

And I realize that I may be a bit of a klutz, but gawd, it was dark and I don't know where anything is anymore! It's not my fault Itachi kept his go-go boots in the middle of the hall.

And I thought I saw a lizard on the other side of the pit. I chose a spot with no flames. It happened to crack is all. Deidara if you ever explode anything in my face again I'll forcibly remove the clay from your hands with a chainsaw and what's left of Samehada.

And god-dammit I want to hurt Kisame. Will somebody please let me at least rip apart that damn charka-sucking compensator of his? I will get him somehow. And if I don't get a chance soon, I will have to do something drastic.

Zetsu, I want that antidote NOW! I am sick of having a blue head. And being blind. I want my face back! I will do anything! Well not really. But I would do an awful lot.

Itachi, Trust me. Don't touch the Miracle-gro. It will make your eyes shrivel up, at your stage of eyesight. And I would really hate to see that beautiful hair of yours turn bright blue. It really lowers the fear factor. And when people are used to seeing you with black hair, well, they start laughing. It really sucks. It turned my clothes blue too. It's really lucky I wasn't wearing my coat. I would have had to make a whole new one.

And if anyone makes fun of me for unloading all of my troubles, I will shove something rather large and pointy somewhere unfortunate.

BTW, Can I get some carpets? And some wall paint? It's really drab in here.