I climbed up a mountain, and looked off the edge
At all of the lives that I never have led
There's one where I stayed with you across the sea
I wonder do you still think of me
Halt was sitting in his chair, looking at the flickering fire in the hearth. The flames danced and wove around each other, the wood popping and crackling. Halt registered none of this. He was too sad. Too regretful to even think of anything else besides what had happened to leave him so broken.
I carry your image always in my head
Folded and yellowed and torn at the edge
And I've looked upon it for so many years
Slowly I am loosing your face
He could see it now. The ground below him as he jumped, the pain tearing through his leg, the sudden blow to his head that shoved blackness in front of his eyes. All had been black until he had forced his eyes open and had seen Gilan's tearful but relieved eyes.
"Halt…" That single word spoke millions. The tone, the hesitation, the pain.
Will hadn't made it.
Oh the ocean rolls us away, away, away
The Ocean rolls us away
He remembered the emotions that must have splattered across his face at that instant he realized this. Pain. Sadness. Anger. Regret. Confusion. Shame. More sadness. More regret. And even more sadness.
Gilan shook his head and put the side of his fist under his nose, his eyes glittering with tears. He shook his head and forced his eyes shut, trying not to break down.
Halt closed his eyes and felt tears run down his face.
Six's and seven's we live on jet planes
So many faces I don't know the names
So many friends now and none of them mine
Forgotten as soon as we meet
The days after the incident had been, after it had all played out, worse than figuring out he had died in the first place. Halt had to tell the story first to Baron Arald. Then to Jenny, George, Horace and Alyss. And then to their mentors. And then to Crowley. Then to many of the Rangers. Each time brought the pain back, each time worse than before.
These people he told were not his friends. He didn't know most of their first names, in fact. Nor did he care. But they had been Will's friends, and so they latched onto the person who had known him best and had been there when he had passed. And that person was Halt.
Finally, he started refusing to tell the tale to anyone who asked. He didn't want to cry in front of some random farmer or guard who came to ask. It just hurt too damn much.
All of these moments are lost in time
But your caught in my head like a thorn on a vine
To forever torment me and I wonder why
Do I wish I'd never known you at all
Eventually, Halt locked himself in his cabin and went out only to tend to Abelard and go on his routine scouting missions and what not. Halt had given Tug back to Old Bob. There was no way he could keep him in shape, and not break down crying like a baby every time he saw him.
The pain never receded or numbed. It grew some days and stayed the same others, but never truly left.
There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think of that brown haired, forever laughing, smiling apprentice. Will never left his thoughts. Everything reminded him of that boy who had grown so close to him.
Oh the ocean rolls us away, away, away
The ocean rolls us away
Oh the ocean rolls us away, away, away
The ocean rolls us away
Halt closed his eyes and sighed, lowering his head into his chest. His hands were on the arms of the chair, cold despite the warmth of the fire. He felt like he was never going to be warm again. Will had been the shining sun in his life. Without him, he was left in suffocating darkness and bitter cold, like he was always in washing, crashing ice water without release.
The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
The ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave
Will was gone, forever. He was not coming home. He was not at the market, in the back shooting arrows, in his room sleeping peacefully. The world was a dull, cold place without him. The darkness never abated with the sun, whether in the morning or beating down at noon. It was like there was a black veil over Halt's eyes, and a raincloud seemed to follow him everywhere.
Maybe that was why it hadn't stopped raining outside yet.
Oh the ocean rolls us away, away, away
The ocean rolls us away
Oh the ocean rolls us away, away, away
Halt grimaced and felt a tear run down his cheek. Even thinking about Will made him shed tears. Seeing his smiling face, the humorous brown eyes. He had taken the simple days with him for granted. There were no simple, quiet training days. There was only rain and sadness, and pain and sorrow. No more happiness. No more laughter. No more warmth..
And I lose your hand through the waves
Booyah! *dances a successful jig* Finally! This has been an idea of mine for like, EVER. I really love this song and the story fit well. I have to thank my bestest friend for this one. Without her and her obsession with Shiver and Linger (by some Stephanie chick) I never would have found it. This is the official song for Shiver and I kinda stole it… *whistles innocently*
Now would be a good time to Disclaim! I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or anything by the Bravery or the Stephanie chick.
Now that I can't be sued, I just realized this took me a long time to write. I seriously just got the lyrics on Word at 10:12 (god, I am a freak. I can remember that but not what I did yesterday) and finished right at 10:56. No, I am not OCD. Or ADHD. Or any other medical condition…I hope. Maybe a touch of insanity. But that is off the point!
Now that I have finished my blithering (Lol, British word) you may ask me why I wrote an entire new story instead of writing the next chapter to Sound the Bugle. Well, I didn't feel like it. So suck it up.
R & R! Toodles!
Stay Happy,
Spirit
(One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.)