TITLE: The Heartless Nondisclosure of Sarah Walker
AUTHOR: Sache 8
RATING: G
GENRE: Gen, Crossover
SUMMARY: Chuck Bartowski didn't know he was protecting more than Earth-based secrets.
DISCLAIMER: Ironically, Chuck and Stargate both belong to NBC, among other people, but neither belong to me.
The Heartless Nondisclosure of Sarah Walker
by Sache8
"Sarah."
"Yeah, give me a second!"
"Um, Sarah?"
"I'll be right there, Chuck!" Sarah could hear the not-so-well-concealed sounds of Chuck's fingers tapping the glass of the weiner warmer. She could also hear him half-humming, half-muttering under his breath and could practically feel him bouncing up and down on his toes.
"Sarah, it's kind of important," he called from the front room. More subdued bouncing.
"Yeah, I got that," she said, hauling a case of hot dogs from the refrigerator from the back room. "Just wanted to get started on these." She slammed the case onto the counter with authority, causing Chuck to jump slightly and give a nervous laugh. "So, what's up?" she asked, resting her hands on top of the case and staring at him expectantly.
He gave one of his patented quasi-smiles then cleared his throat. "Sarah, at this exact moment there is a two-star Air Force general a the Nerd Herd counter who travels to other planets and has saved the world on more than one occasion from crazy despotic alien parasites who take over people's brains." He gave a choked sort of cough, then added, "And he's asking for you."
She looked up sharply. "General O'Neill is here?"
"You know him?" Chuck looked absolutely horrified. And slightly hurt.
"What about it?" she asked, looking at him oddly.
"Oh, come on! Sarah, the guy goes to other planets! How cool is it that? No, no, back up. How cool is it that there are other planets? Let's start there."
"You didn't know there were other planets?" She asked, cracking a slight smile as she ripped upen the fresh seal tape on the box of hot dogs.
Chuck closed his mouth slightly and made a face. "Oh, ha ha ha. Yes, let's all make semantic jokes with the new guy who's too excited to think straight. Seriously, I can't believe you didn't tell me about this!"
"It was for your own protection."
"Yeah, because my life is the poster child of low risk. Sarah!"
"I honestly wasn't sure if the Stargate program was in the intersect or not," Sarah said, keeping her voice very low and very light. "On the off chance – and I'll admit it was an off chance – that it wasn't, I figured the less you knew the better off you'd be."
"Well, that just goes to show you haven't learned all that much about me."
"Does Casey know?"
"I don't know, he was on break. Wait— you mean he knew about it too?"
"Quite a bit, actually."
"What is the point of being a reluctant spy if you don't even get to know any of the cool stuff?"
"You know now," she pointed out.
"Exactly. So… are you going to talk to him, or what? Do I get to sit on this one?"
"I don't know, but my boss will be back from his lunch in ten minutes. After that I'll take mine. Ask the general to wait for me?"
"Sarah, do you really want to keep the hero of the free world waiting? I mean—" At her glare he closed his mouth. "Yeah, okay. Going, going…"
She watched him leave, still kind of bouncing a little bit as he went, and shook her head, almost tempted to laugh. Then she wondered what possibly could have induced said hero of the free world, Major General Jack O'Neill himself, to seek out an undercover CIA agent at a Buy More. It probably wasn't just to chat.
Then again, knowing his reputation…
Jack was being pestered. Repeatedly. By a very short man with a caveman's need for a haircut. He had been minding his own business, staring absentmindly at a huge wall of televisions that stretched from ceiling to floor when the retail minion had first attacked.
"Are you interested in purchasing a flat screen today, sir? We've got a great financing program. Zero percent for six months."
"No, I'm just looking."
"Are you sure? I can probably throw in a month or two of free satellite programming."
"I don't have time to watch TV."
"Oh. Well, let me know if you have any questions."
A few minutes later, he was back. "Anything else I could maybe help you with? Appliances? New cell phone? Gift for that special someone?" He punched Jack lightly on the shoulder with a big, goofy smile.
"Listen, um—" Jack glanced at the caveman's nametag "—Morgan, is it? I promise, if I decide I want to buy something, I will brave this vast expanse of commercialism to find you so that you can sell it to me. Okay?"
"Okay, okay. Just trying to be helpful, sir."
"And you're doing a terrific job." Jack patted the little man twice on the shoulder. "Thank you."
As he finished speaking they were joined by a third man who towered over both of them. "Welcome to Buy More, sir, can I interest you in any video game flight simulators today?"
"Flight simulators, you say?" Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw the short man's eyes widen, and he turned to the newcomer with a gaping mouth and eyes full of accusation. "How would you say they compare with real fighters?"
"Supposedly top notch. If you're interested, you could accompany me to our preview room and sample one or two. Try before you buy. That's our motto here at Buy More. One of several," he added under his breath.
"Sounds good. Which way?"
"Just follow me. Morgan, stay." They left poor Morgan, still standing gape-mouthed, in their wake as they headed towards the rear center of the store. Once they were out of ear shot, the giant spoke. "General."
"Major," Jack repeated.
"I would salute, sir, except—"
"At ease."
"Thank you, sir."
"So how's your assignment working out?"
"I don't know, did circumstance ever strap you with an unqualified nerd and you had no choice but to go along with it?"
"I suppose qualification is all in the eye of the beholder, Major." Jack's lips twitched slightly but Casey remained obvlivious to his amusement.
"You haven't met Bartowski."
"Actually, I did, a little while ago. He went to find Agent Walker for me."
"Well, that's charming. I wonder if he recognized you."
"I'd say by his rather flabbergasted reaction that he did."
Casey glanced over Jack's shoulder. "Speak of the irritant—" he muttered.
Jack followed his line of sight and saw the Sarah Walker, the CIA operative he'd come to find weaving her way through the store's kiosks, closely followed by the excitable young man he'd sent to fetch her. She caught Jack's eye, then glanced at Casey, then nodded.
"Keep walking this way, sir," Casey advised. "Before they get here," he added as they neared the surprisingly cozy preview area he'd spoken of, "I was wondering, any news on Dave?"
"Well, I'm not at the SGC these days but I hear he's still doing fine. SG-13 is one of the more experienced teams out there right now. Oh, and you've got another niece or nephew on the way."
"Niece," Casey said confidently. "I keep myself in the loop. Even when I can't stay in contact I can at least keep tabs on all his files." He smirked proudly.
"Family ties between secret government organizations," Jack said, shaking his head. "Gotta love it."
A few minutes later they were joined in the room by Agent Walker and the computer guy. Walker glanced around at the store and nodded at her companion, who shut the door nonchalantly as possible.
"General O'Neill," she greeted. "I'm sorry for the wait. It's hard to keep a job for my cover if I'm always dashing out for any old reason. I try to avoid it if I can."
"Understood."
"You already know Major Casey," she said, glancing toward Casey, "and this, of course, is Chuck. Our intersect."
"So you're the guy who got the computer downloaded into his brain," said Jack, holding out a hand. "Nice to meet you."
The young man took it nervously, a sort of deer in headlights expression on his face. "Yes, sir, and it's brought me a galaxy o'fun I'm here to tell you." He continued to shake Jack's hand, staring at him with a stupid half smile on his face until at last he burst out, "Did you guys really blow up a sun?"
"Chuck!" Casey and Sarah hissed identical whispers of reprimand.
"What?" he said. "I already know about it, right?"
"It's okay," Jack said, amused despite himself as he pried his fingers away from Chuck's unwitting grasp. He was getting a sense for why Casey had spoken of the kid with that longsuffering tone in his voice. "Yes, a sun was blown up, but I can't take credit for that. That was mostly a friend of mine."
"Colonel Carter, yes, sir," said Chuck, a bigger grin blossoming on his face.
Jack cocked his head, curious. "How much did you see, anyway? About the Stargate?" Sarah and Casey both followed his gesture, equally intrigued expressions on their faces.
"Oh, I don't really know," said Chuck. "A lot? But not everything. At least I don't think so." He glanced at Sarah and then back at Jack. "I'm still trying to figure out how it works. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of say in the matter."
"I know what that's like," Jack said sympathetically.
"You do?" Chuck blinked in astonishment for a couple of moments and then his eyes widened excitedly. "Yes! Yes! When— when you got the Ancient repository of knowledge downloaded into your brain!" he exclaimed, pointing an animated finger repeatedly at Jack. "Twice!" He lowered the finger slightly with a frown. "But how did you get out of it? The computer isn't telling me."
"Believe me, we've already thought of that. Unfortunately, that means of helping you is no longer available to us. But hey, at least you're life isn't in danger from it," he pointed out.
"Well, that's a matter of opinion," Chuck muttered. He jerked his head at Walker and Casey. "These two always keep things interesting."
"Good point. Still, let me know if you ever start speaking an obsolete language without realizing it."
"Will do."
"Do you mind if I talk to these two alone for a minute?"
Chuck looked positively crestfallen but he nodded. "Yeah, um, sure. I've got some work to get caught up on anyway. Better get to it before disaster strikes. Nice to meet you, General."
After he was gone, Jack turned to the other two with raised eyebrows. "He's a handful."
"Tell me about it," Casey muttered, rolling his eyes. Sarah gave him a short glare.
"It's not his fault, sir. He tries really hard."
"No, I like him. Poor kid."
"So what's going on?" Sarah asked. "I have to admit, I'm a little surprised you'd come here yourself, in person. What do we have to do with homeworld security?"
"I have to admit, I might have been able to use channels," Jack said, "but I wanted to meet the kid. I wanted to know if he would recognize me. Guess he did. Which just makes what I have to tell you all the more critical."
"Sir?" she asked, looking worried.
"We have intel that the remaining members of the Trust have found out about the intersect, and they've found out about Chuck. They may try to come after him."
"Add them to the list," Casey pointed out. The light of challenge was in his eyes. He looked ready to spring.
"Yes, well, as you know, the Trust members are now controlled by the Goa'uld. And we can't seem to track them all down, the slippery little guys. So just… be even more on your guard. I'll have all our information forward to you and I'll talk to your superiors on keeping me apprised if anything happens with Chuck that is in any way connected to the Stargate."
The two agents exchanged glances and curt nods. "Thank you for the intelligence, General," said Sarah. "We appreciate it. And we'll be on our guard."
"Well, I won't further compromise your cover," Jack said. "I'll just see myself out, shall I?"
"Say goodbye to Chuck on your way out," Sarah said. "I think he's got a bad case of hero worship."
"Yeah, I kind of got that."
"He was mad at me that I didn't tell him about the stargate program straight up. He's enamoured with the idea of the stargate."
"Well, he just won points with me then," Jack said. "Will do. Take care, you two. Remember, it's not just the fate of the world. You've got galaxy matters to protect too. No pressure."
"Not at all, sir."
The End
A/N: Written as a prompt for a crossover challenge. The prompt was actually Jack O'Neill and Sarah Walker, but it somehow turned into Jack O'Neill and Chuck Bartowski. But I had terrific fun with it anyway. LOL
That being said, I know this doesn't really work as a story. It's purpose is mostly crossover crack fun. So I'm not writing more in this exact vein, but I could potentially be writing a lot more of Chuck interesecting with other fandoms (Yes, pun intended, shut up - LOL). He has so much fabulous potential.
Feedback is chocolate!
Saché