Today, every look was one of judgement, every whisper about his inadequacy.
Logically, Danny knew that everyone wasn't judging him— emotionally, it sure felt like it. He was ready to snap and break down, letting the anxiety and depressing hollowness overtake him.
Danny kept on plugging, of course, and focused back on his English class; there was no need to feel such emotions in a such a dull class... though perhaps it was the dullness that let Danny's mind wander to dark places.
He was interrupted in his broodings by a paper note poking him in the side. Dude, you alright, was written in Tucker's sloppy handwriting. Danny huffed, and eased his brow from its furrow to give his friend a glance. Danny smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
His stress must've showed, because the worried-looking Tucker just winced.
Danny shrugged it off, and went back to the drifting half-state of anxious dissociation. This time, he made an effort to look less visibly brooding.
xXx
In the hallways, Danny asked a worried, "was I that obvious?"
Tucker just nodded solemnly, but then (very obviously fakely) cheered up, chirping, "dude, tell us what's got you down!"
Danny shrugged. "Nothing in particular."
"Why are you acting so off, then?" Sam eyed him.
Danny just shrugged, causing Sam and Tucker to glance at one another with worried faces.
"I'm off to Bio. Catch you at lunch," Danny hummed tonelessly, flat.
He sped off from the awkwardness, blatantly denying that he heard Sam and Tucker whispering something about depression as he left.
xXx
Your friends are worried about you, dumbass. Cheer up. You're so upset over nothing, it's stupid!
But he couldn't; Danny could only keep dumping on himself.
Why have I been so depressed and angry all the time?
xXx
Jazz noticed at dinner— not something unexpected, considering that she was highly observant like that.
"So, Spectra not working out for you, huh?" she huffed, putting a hand on his back.
Danny just shrugged, moving his shoulder out of her hand and glaring sideways.
"Just give it time," Jazz said.
Even she sounded worried.
xXx
The next few days were filled with fruitless attempts to cheer himself up. Danny found himself staring at the ceiling a lot, just trying to think about doing something enjoyable… and ultimately he'd just stay staring, and feel even more worthless. He attacked himself viciously, asking himself why he couldn't just be happy, considering everyone's worry.
Of course, this downward spiral only continued to garner more worry from his companions and sister, who noticed his drop in activity and general moodiness.
What made Danny feel worse was there lack of anger at the latter; when he snapped at them, they only responded with worry and sympathy, not anger like he deserved for treating them as such— so he punished himself mentally, instead.
xXx
What got me started on this cycle?
Danny couldn't say, and that's what bothered him most. Ever since he'd been seeing that stupid shrink to try to fix things, all his normal small, bottled up emotions seemed to have expanded.
Could it really be her fault, though…?
xXx
Thankfully Danny managed to put the pieces together to get a yes, and save Jazz in the process.
xXx
"You sure it was just the ghost therapist making you like that?" Tucker asked the once-again-cheerful Danny in the days following.
"Yes," Danny said— not unkind, but still forceful.
"You sure…?" Sam hummed. Before Danny could cut her off, she continued, "seems like Spectra just… exasperated existing problems."
"I'm sure," Danny said, tone sour.
Sam and Tucker dropped it.