This fic written by Silverstorms and Snap101. Four chapters in one. Four times the coolness. Aren't we sweet.
Warning: in this fic many characters will be made fun of, if you are easily offended, or do not want to read about it go to another story….NOW! you have been warned.
Summary: On the outside Tyson is the cheery, hungry, adventurous, fun loving team member, who enjoys his friends and his life. But what really goes on in that head of his? What is he like on the inside…to put it shortly…the complete opposite.
Speaking: " "
Thinking: ' '
Author's notes: (A/N:)
CHAPTER 1: Since I'm Expected To Love Eating…Pass The Ice-cream!
Tyson woke up to the sound of Daichi calling his name. "Tyson come on man! Wake up!" the boy yelled, jumping on Tyson and shaking him violently. "Aren't we gonna battle today like you promised? C'mon get up!"
"I-I'm coming Daichi," he grumbled, shoving him off of himself. The boy leaped off his
bed, with a sad attempt at a scowl on his face. He had his hands on his hips, and was panting slightly. He was clad in his normal rugged attire.
'God. What an ape,' Tyson thought to himself as he looked Daichi over. 'Why doesn't he ever comb his hair or change out of those old ripped jeans? Why is he always in my house? …And where the hell are his parents for that matter!'
"Tyson!" the boy interrupted him from his musing. "Let's get breakfast first, I said."
"Oh. …Oh! Okay!" Tyson responded finally. He followed the hyper active kid out of his room and into the kitchen. 'Great the old man's here…'
"Sup my homecats?" Tyson's grandpa grinned, "I love the way that sounds. Hahah, homecats. Hahah, homecats. Hahah, homecats. Hahah, homecats."
"Grandpa–"
"Hahah, homecats. Hahah, homecats," the elderly man laughed again.
"Grandpa stop–" Tyson begged.
"Hahah, homecats. I have a feeling you youngsters are goin' to start using that sayin' real soon, Tyson."
'I don't.'
"So Tyson what will it be this mornin'? Pizza? Ice-cream?"
"How about a normal breakfast like a normal grandpa makes," he suggest jaded.
The elderly man turned to him. "Normal breakfasts, Tyson?"
"Yeah you know, like scrambled eggs? Or pancakes? Or cereal?" Tyson elaborated.
"Oh but I'm not a normal grandpa Tyson. I'm a cool grandpa."
Tyson's POV
'Who are you trying to convince?' I wondered in my mind as I stared up at him from the table, while he continued to babble on.
"I'm down wit the children of today, you dig? I –"
'When's the last time he plucked his ear hairs? They're growing in pretty thick this time.'
"I got my money on my mind, and my mind on my money," said Tyson's grandfather. Tyson had long since tuned out his grandfather's voice, as he began to take notice of the saggy skin around his grandfather's mouth as it stretched and dangled back down, as he spoke. 'God he's ancient. Look at all those wrinkles, how old is this guy anyway? Ugh, I think I lost my appetite.'
Finally Tyson's eyes focused back on his grandfather's eyes, only to catch the end of what he had been saying.
"You know what I'm sayin' Tyson?" his grandfather finished.
"Hmm?" Tyson jumped. "Oh…um…okay sure then. I guess you sure told me," he laughed quickly, pretending that he was paying attention.
"I'll get us some ice-cream, Ty," his grandpa suggested. Daichi cheered loudly and quickly grabbed a seat at the table, bowl and spoon already in hand.
Tyson's grandpa set the bucket of double fudge chocolate ice-cream down on the table, telling them that they could take as many refills as they wanted.
'He tries too hard…oops they're both staring at me. I wonder why." Tyson looked down into his bowl and realized it was empty while everyone else had theirs filled to the brim. 'Oh, that's right I'm the food monster to them. Tyson not eating! Oh my god it must be the apocalypse.'
"Uh…hey! Daichi quit hogging the ice-cream. I want some too," he said reaching for it from across the table. "We all know how I get when I don't have some empty calories and diabetes causing sugar in my system," he laughed, though in his mind he knew that all he had just said had been in pure irony. His grandfather and Daichi joined in laughing at Tyson's comment about himself.
"Hahaha. It's funny isn't it? Because it's the stereotype about me, huh?" he asked them as the two continued to howl with laughter. "But of course no one would really take the time to get to really know me, huh? I'm just the guy that eats a lot and you both find that hilarious. Hahahahaha!" Tyson laughed as though everything was all right. '…Jackasses.'
CHAPTER 2: Bestest Friends Stay Together, Cakes Make You Fat
Tyson walked outside, on his way to a small, but popular dojo downtown, when the happy-go-lucky blond boy came bouncing up to him with a lollipop in his mouth. "Hey Tyson!" he called.
"M-Maxie! B-buddy!" I responded just as excitedly as him, though it was all for show. "Why are you here? At my house? …Again?" his voice sounding less and less inviting.
"I thought I'd stop by to see my bestest friend ever!" Max responded, a large grin plastered on his face.
'He must be desperate.'
"So sue me if I come over to see you every single day, heheheh!" Max chuckled, and his cerulean eyes sparkled.
"Heh, good one Max." Tyson said with false enthusiasm. 'I can't sue you but I do plan on filing for a restraining order any day now…'
The airhead looked up into the sky and smiled broadly. "It's a wonderful day outside wouldn't you say, Tyson?" he asked turning to him.
"Uh…"
"The sun is shining," said Max before sniffing the air. "Aaa, the air is fresh. The grass is green and lush. The birds are in the skies tweeting away…"
Tyson's POV
'Tweeting away! Nobody says that. And why is this guy always so happy? It's…well it's NOT NORMAL! Someday he's gonna crack I'm sure of it.' I think to myself as I watch him place a hand behind his head as he laughed for no apparent reason. 'He's so ugly. What ugly teeth he has too, they're all brown and green…and orange.'
"Tyson what's wrong?" Max asked me, as I stared at his face in utter disgust.
Normal POV
Tyson blinked dumbly for a moment, before vigorously shaking his head. "I-It's, nothing Maxie. Everything's just great," Tyson assured him, walking past him out onto the street. 'I forgot to pick up my blade from Kenny, I'll get it right now.'
That was when he bumped into a large cow. 'Wait that's no cow…that's Rei's bum!' Suddenly the raven-haired teenager stood up from where he had been bending down on the ground. "Heh, sorry Tyson," he laughed standing up. "I dropped a piece of cake," he explained showing Tyson the cake crumb he had retrieved from the ground.
"Heh…heh…heh," Tyson laughed sarcastically, and watched as the obese teenager placed the cake crumb into his mouth and lick his fingers.
'And they say I eat a lot.'
"I sure love my cake," Rei laughed.
"You sure love your everything," Tyson muttered under his breath.
"What was that Tyson?" Rei asked him. "I couldn't hear you over the loud chewing of my cake."
"Nothing."
Rei licked the remaining icing off his lips, and then spoke up once more. "You know what type of cakes are my favorites, Tyson?" he asked him.
"All of them–"
"The kind," Rei cut him off. "With the sprinkles, or vanilla cake with chocolate chips, or the kind with crushed up cookie crumbs," he took a moment to inhale deeply, and licked his lips. "I can just taste them, butter tarts, and ice-cream cake. Oh ice-cream cake!" he sighed with a shudder. "Can't forget fudge on fudge triple layer chocolate cake. I could eat those all by myself–"
'I believe you,' Tyson thought as his eyes wandered from Rei's plump face, down to his protruding stomach. 'Whoa! Rei is enormous! His blubber even shakes when he talks! And just look at all those rolls. He's got more rolls than a cinnamon bun.' Tyson thought to himself as he observed the boy before him, who was still passionately talking about his favorites types of cakes. 'And why's his hair so long? He looks like a girl…I bet his hair smells….' He inhaled. 'Yep.'
"Uh…Rei it's great to have you over, but it's getting late and-"
"Do you have any food? I'm really hungry," Rei interrupted. "I'll die if I don't get something to eat."
'Somehow I doubt that. I'm sure you can live off your body fat for ages.'
"Um…" Tyson scanned the area. "Hey look! A tree. Maybe you can go eat some fruits, Rei. Hmm? Non-fattening, nutritious fruit?"
Rei stared at him for a moment, before he gasped, "I smell ice-cream!" and took off past Tyson and into his house.
"I tried." 'I sure hope my house is still here when I get back…and my grandpa…and Daich– no Rei can eat him.' Tyson thought to himself, as he made his was over to Kenny's house. Max caught up to him halfway as he always aimlessly followed Tyson everywhere.
CHAPTER 3: Don't Shower? Don't Touch Me…
"I can't wait to go to Kenny's." Max chirped happily. "I can't wait to see the lawn and…and the door."
"Mmm hmmm." 'Retard.'
Finally they arrived.
"Oh boy!" Max said running up to the house door and running straight into it. Tyson gave him a strange look before opening the door and walking inside.
"That's right, doors have doorknobs." Max laughed.
Tyson walked into Kenny's house and was immediately met with darkness. He tried to flick on a nearby light switch on the wall but the opaqueness remained the same. 'Hasn't the hermit ever heard of a light bulb?' he wondered to himself as he fumbled around in the dark. "Kenny!" he called. "Hey Kenny!"
But there was no response. "That's weird." Spotting a dim bluish light emitting from what appeared to be the living room, Tyson headed toward it, Max stupidly following along. When they finally reached the room they found young boy hunched over his laptop with his back facing the doorway. The entire room was dimly lit up by the glare of his computer screen.
"Um…hey Kenny," Tyson said catching his attention.
"Hmm?" he turned around, and ran up to him. "Oh! Tyson! You're here great!"
'What is that smell! Eww its Kenny! Doesn't he shower!' Tyson wondered in disgust. His eyes traveled from Kenny's face down to his shoes. 'Why does he dress like that? Green tie, purple shorts, what kind of combination is that?'
"You wouldn't believe the adjustments and modifications I put on your beyblade!" Kenny spoke up.
"Awesome, pass it here–"
"It's mind-blowing. You have no idea!" Kenny continued cutting Tyson off. "I readjusted the angle at which you launch your blade to insure maximum speed and stamina at all times. It was Dizzi's idea but I take full credit," Kenny said proudly. "What's that Dizzi? Heh, Dizzi's mad at me now."
'That's so sad,' Tyson thought to himself. 'He has no friends so he talks to his computer.'
"I sure am tired," Kenny said suddenly. "I pulled an all-nighter to work on your blade," he explained, rubbing one of his eyeglass lenses with his hand.
'Does he even have any eyes under there? I mean, I've known him for a while now and I've never seen his eyes.' Tyson thought to himself. 'If he did have eyes then why does he wear his glasses over his hair? …Oh my god I don't think he has any–'
"Here you go Tyson," said the pudgy boy, handing Tyson a beyblade. "Dragoon's good to go."
'Gross, his fingernails are blacken with dirt and who knows what else…and he's touching my blade. It's contaminated. I don't wanna touch it but I don't wanna make a scene…"
"Ha, t-thank you Kenny old buddy," Tyson forced a smile, and took the blade from the smelly, sweaty, unwashed hand. 'I've gotta sterilize this later.'
Tyson's POV
I darted out of his house right after that. Now that I have my blade back, I had to get to the dojo. I've had to get there all day and I was certain I'd be late to face him.
"Tyson, what's the hurry?" Max gasped, breathlessly as he strained himself to catch up to me.
I didn't respond far too focused on getting to where I was going.
"You're running too fast," I heard him moan after awhile.
"Well I never asked you to come!" I shot back as I ran, and he was quiet after that.
CHAPTER 4: That's Right…ISaid It!
Normal POV
Tyson skidded to a halt in front of the fine dark-wooded doors of the dojo. He and Max entered.
"Late." Came a cool voice from across the empty room. "Late as always." It was Kai. He stood majestically before an opened window, his crimson eyes were flashing, his bluish-gray hair tousling in the gentle breeze, and his long white scarf blowing behind him. He walked up to the two bladebreaker members, with deliberate quick strides. He did not stop until he stood mere inches from Tyson's face. Tyson looked up at him. 'Great…I can see up his nose…'
Kai suddenly turned his back on Tyson. He did this so quickly that his scarf rose up to whip Tyson in the eyes. 'Ow! He did that on purpose! Son of a – '
"Tyson," Kai drawled. "I've been coming here at six in morning until four in the afternoon to train, every single day this month. And the one-day I ask you to join me, you're late. But then again you haven't exactly given me a reason to expect any more from you."
'He's dissing me! Okay I'm not the one who talks to walls. Can't he see that I'm behind him? And another thing, at least I don't wear scarves in the middle of the damn summer! What is up with that? What? He thinks his scarf makes him look cool or something?'
"Hmmm Tyson?" Kai smirked indifferently.
"Huh?" 'I really gotta start paying attention to people more when they talk. It's rare but occasionally they have something of importance to say…'
"Weren't you listening? I was asking you what you had to say for yourself."
"Oh. …Uh…well I don't got anything to say for myself so to speak, but I do have something to say to you."
Kai stayed silent at this.
"I could care less that you drag yourself out of bed every morning at six o-clock to get here, and I couldn't give a flying fart that you trained here alone everyday this month. You take beyblading the most seriously of all the kids I know. Including Daichi and he's like eight years old." Tyson continued. "Look man," he said when met with a blank face. "What I'm trying to say is that you're like what? Sixteen? Seventeen? You don't need to be spinning plastic tops, what you need to do is go back to school or get a damn job! You're too old to be into to playing with cheap little toys. You look like a loser. Get a life! And some friends for that matter." Kai looked completely taken back at this insult. "That's right Kai, I said it…you have NO FRIENDS. Nobody likes you. Not even your only relative and grandfather likes you. …Oh and you're ugly."
A look of pure fury and hatred crossed Kai's face at this, and he lunged at Tyson. The boy fled the dojo frightened to his very core.
'I'm a dead man,' Tyson thought to himself, as he ran down the street, Kai hot on his trail. 'I don't even know why he's so mad, all I ever do is tell the truth.'
ENDHope you enjoyed this random fic by Silverstorms and Snap101.
We sure enjoyed making it, and making fun of everyone. Again no complaining about the character jokes. Basically we just took their existing personalities but played them up to the extreme. And we also added a couple of our own thoughts and opinions like what's the deal with Kai's scarf or Kenny's glasses over hair, with no indication of eyes underneath. Why we left Tyson alone I'll never know. Guess he was just too easy a target. Bleh!
ReviewReviewReview!