Dearest readers, welcome to my first published fic. A little drabble I made for my angry self. My self who just read HBP. My self who just doesn't know what's wrong with Rowling. A straight Remus? Oh, come on! That's a very nasty joke! Anyhow, some might agree with a happy Remus, but my angry self is a selfish bastard, and we live happily like that. So, this is a stupid and useless little payback, but I just cannot bear the thought of a RL/NT relationship. I know you don't either! So, this is for all the angry SB/RL fans out there. My good old purple friend awaits for your opinion at the bottom. Feel free to play with him (he's also pissed and feeling kinda lonely, so…) Anyway, just read and review. Enjoy!
Remus smiled wearily as she held his hand. It felt uncomfortable and cold, but he kept those comments to himself. Tonks was nice and pretty, perhaps a bit clumsy, buy a great girl anyway. Nevertheless, it didn't feel right. It felt OK, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like him.
She nuzzled in the crook between his shoulder and neck. Damn, how did he used to do that. With his silky dark bluish hair, warm at touch. He looked down, expecting to find the same head relaxing in him. Instead, he saw it. That pink, almost fluorescent fuck my pupils hair. He closed his eyes, trying to stop a menacing headache. What was wrong with her? Was it some defense tactic or something? Blind your enemies before they attack you. Useful.
She then started kissing his neck. His scarred, white skin which was so well known by a dark angel. Well, those last two years he didn't look that angelic anymore, but Remus didn't care. It was still his. He stayed still for a while, hoping she would stop. Nevertheless, when she took him from his hand and led him to the room he once shared with Sirius, he panicked.
Horny bitch, he thought, while faking a moan. Was she a bunny or what? Always trying to kiss him, hold him, touch him. Didn't she realize he was only doing it for pity? He loved her as a friend, as a war mate, as Sirius' cousin, and he always thought she felt the same way. But, no! She had to fall for him. Stupid women hormones, he thought.
She then laid him in the bed, which brought Remus plenty of memories. Now, those had been good times. Nothing like what was going on at the moment. Maybe if he just imagined he was with someone else…Tonks was getting a little overheated, but Remus felt like the Artic. He didn't want her to think he had that kind of problems, I mean, he was still literally young. Him and his little friend were doing fine. But sleeping with Tonks felt like sleeping with a coloring book. 'Now', he reprimanded himself 'That isn't helping much'
It was when she was taking her clothes off, that it happened. First slightly, then much more stronger. A harsh, confusing trembling started. It felt like an earthquake, except it was only happening in the bed. Tonks let out a shriek, which made Remus wince. Then, a blinding light came from the center of the furniture, even starling the sandy haired man.
"Remus" a deep voice said "What the hell are you doing!"
The man stared in surprise at the light, totally perturbed.
"Si-Sirius? Is that you?" he asked in weak voice.
"Whom else! Do you know anyone else who would leave a spell on your bed to prevent you from spending the night with somebody else?" the angry voice claimed.
"Sirius!" screamed a startled woman. "What is going on in here? What is this spell thing about!" she demanded to Remus.
"He-Well,we used to…you know" he tried to explain.
"What!" she kept screaming.
"We used to shag each other senseless, dearest cousin! Now, get off this bed before I chop off your balls!" the voice threatened.
"You what!" she stared, outraged, at Remus. He fidgeted.
"Don't worry, Tonks, you don't have balls. I hope…" he frowned. Sirius always joked about how he would put on a spell on his bed to make sure Remus remained faithful to him. He threatened to do the same, but in Grimmauld Place there was no one to shag except Kreacher. Or Buckbeack…Disgusting.
Offended, Tonks got off the bed and threw the nearest flower vase to Remus.
"You never told me you were together!" she shouted.
"Sorry, I forgot!" explained Remus.
"You forgot to tell me you are gay! "
"No, I only forgot to tell you I was completely in love with Sirius! A little slip, sorry!"
She shrieked, threw a shoe at him and swore to shove Severus Snape up his ass if he ever drew close to her again. She then fumed out of the room, leaving Remus alone with the lightning spell.
"Ha! You deserved worse! How dare you betray my beautiful self! After all our great time together! You offend my memory!" the light said, outraged. Remus shoved a hand at him.
"You were the one who died and left a charm in my bed" he said, quietly, wishing it was the real Sirius he was speaking to. "Anyway, life is short and I didn't like her…"
"Good, I thought you were on crack or something!" the voice said. Remus laughed. "I mean, you straight? I'm sorry, but I really don't think so!"
The voice faded away, leaving Remus alone, glad he had gotten ridden of Tonks. He feel asleep, praying she never got to find Snape.
It sucked, I know. So don't flame, It's useless and I won't even be able to answer back.
Charlie.