Disclaimer: If I did (own 'em), the show would still be on...
Summary: Closure and a litle something called love...all on Christmas Eve. Davis reflects
...Silent night, Holy night
All is clam, all is bright...
He wasn't even sure what possesed him to come here, or how he got there. But he was decked out in the finest like he was going to church in a long black wool coat, 2 peice all black suite with a dark grey/blue silk shirt and tie to go along with it. The graveyard was cold, with the bitter since of the New York winter kicking in but he didn't seem to notice.
Millions of thoughts were swimming through his mind for what to say, but he couldn't. Alot had changed in the last two years and so had he. Most of it had to do with this man-his father. He found out that his little cousin (who truned out to be his little sister) was born the year Ty sr. died and was living with Ty's wayward and crazy uncle, Jeff.
Anyway, Jeff and CJay (Cherise; Ty's little sister) were inseberable until Jeff up'd and left. Without a word...a note, actually. He told he he'd be back when he could and left her 2 grand to take care of herself. Her two other siblings, Jaime and Janessa were somewhere around Brooklyn and even Ty couldn't find them.
CJay was now in his custody and together, they braved it out when it 'accidently' came out that CJay was Ty sr's. But now, on Christmas Eve, Ty jr. stood at his father's grave in silence, along with CJay who was floored without something to say for the first time. He didn't even notice the anger that had built up inside him until the words just exploded out of him-
"I'm talkin', Pop. I know it's been a while since I've been here..." now he felt it because the tears were falling on his cheek and his voice was cracking," but I couldn't bring myself to do it. To face a man who I idolized to the highest-who died doing no wrong. I guess that's what I was supposed to believe, right? That everyhting you did was rose colored and for me, Ma, Renny, and Gwen.
"Well gues what? I fell flat on my face and I even...I even accused Sully of having something to do with it because I was so far in denial. It was gone. The thought of me ever wanting to be like my father was gone. And right after that...not even 6 months, you're little promise to Jeff was broken when he up and left CJay to take care of herself.
...round young virgins, mother and child
Holy infant, so tender and mild...
"What kind of shit is that? But, then again...you did it to us. 2 kids outside Ma...you know what? I'm gonna be better. Do better. Ma was everything to us and you just...you can't fall out of love with someone. Believe me, I tried. I tried to act like I didn't want for so long, that it was too late. Due to the, stuburness I got from you and Ma, I-we lost our unborn. But why dwell on the unhappy memories?
"CJay is, believe it or not, kinda...goodhearted-""Don't lie to the man," she interjected in her usual manner, the 18 year old surprising herself at her admission. "When she wants to be," he smirked at her through the tears, suddenly going back serious," But I didn't come here to rip you about all the things you did. Not even trying to come off as perfect because I've done things that if Sasha ever knew...
His mind drifted back to the day she was shot and what happened earlier. Besides loosing his father, that was the worst day of his life.
"Ma and the girls are supposed to be here tomorrow. There's something you should know," he looked at CJay, who, was intent on staring at the ground for the duration of their 'visit'. Hell, she had no idea they were going to the grave let alone she was. "What?" she mouthed, shrugging innocently.
"Ma and I...aren't on the same page. And I remeber when you used to tell me that one day I'd be the man of the house. I am, just not that one. We fell out over alot of things, but this fight we had like, 6 months ago...we haven't talked since." he turned his head to the sky and spoke," Help me. I mean, if I can't even come here in peace, then how am I gonna be to the people I love?"
He backed away, hot tears now mixing with the cold air, causing his eyes to sting a bit. He shook his head," I can't, hurt them. I can't. So congradulations, Pop. I hope you got the son you always wanted...while I try to become the man I want to."
He bent down and squated, looking over the maker. CJay rubbed her face with her hand in tiredness and watched, not knowing what to do. Ty picked up some fresh dirt from the side of grave and sprinked it on, standing up," You're not perfect, but I love you. Alwys will..."
...sleep in heavenly peace
The day he dreaded for the past 2 years finally was over, but not before he did one more thing. He gave a sideways nod to come on as they went back to his '05 all black Yukon XL with the bikerack and chrome grill. "You okay?" he asked after sitting in silence for a while. She nodded with numbness," I think so." "It get's better-trust me."
When the two got home, they changed and wadded around silent akwardness until she settled into PJ's and MTV JAMS. He took the hint of not wanting to say anything and looked out his window, overlooking Brooklyn. He could barley hear the vidoes now as he drowned them out and looked at the snow bitten sky.
He accepted that although he just royally cussed out his father that no matter what he felt-albeit anger or comtempt, it was...love. Which was what the holidays were about anyway. Love...
Sleep in heavenly peace...
(ctn? R&R)
Merry Christmahaunakwanzica to you!