"Texts"
A/N: A little rambling story, a bunch of text messages between the Hammersley's crew. Set somewhere between mid Season 3 and early Season 4.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sea Patrol, or the characters.

Nav: Hey Spider?
Spider: What do you want, Nav? Its 2 AM!
Nav: Do fish have thoughts?
Spider: Are you drunk?
Nav: Maybee…
Spider: Go to sleep, Navi. I'll answer your question in the morning.

…

Spider: Bomb, I think someone should go check on Nav. She's drunk. Again.
Bomber: *sigh* Alright. I'll go.
Spider: Kk.

…

Bomber: Nav's door is locked. Can't get in.
Nav: Spider! OMG! Someone's trying to break in!
Bomber: Nevermind. Broke the window. Crawling in.
Nav: SPIDER! SOMEONE JUST BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!
Bomber: Shit. I think she thinks I'm a robber.
Nav: Spider! Reply, damnit!
Bomber: I think i should've texted her first. She's chucking flower vases at m
Nav: Ah-HA! I think i got the bastard. Wait...HOLY SHIT I THINK I KILLED BOMBER!
Spider: What?!
Nav: Oh. Nevermind. She twitched.
Spider: *sigh* *facepalm*Why do we let you drink?

…

Spider: Swain, hate to wake you, but I think you should head over to Nav's. She thought Bomber was a robber and cracked her in the head with a flower vase.
Swain: She was drunk, wasn't she?
Spider: Kinda…
Swain: Alright. Tell her i'm on my way over.

Swain: X, Bomb's got a concussion. Nav chucked a flower vase at her…...In better news, her aim has improved!
X: Do I even want to know?
Swain: Probably not. Just know we need a chef if we're sailed.
X: Okay.

X: Nav, why were you using a flower vase as a weapon?
Nav: You've heard about that already? Swain hasn't even left here yet!
X: Yes.
Nav: I thought she was a robber. In my defense, she was coming through my window.
X: We'll talk about this in the morning.
Nav: Okay. *Dun dun dunnnnn*
X: Did you really just do that?
Nav: Yeah.
X: Why do I talk to you?
Nav: *shrug* You have nothing better to do?
X: Goodnight.

X: Mike, your favorite's lost it.
Mike: What's she done now?
X: She chucked a flower vase at Bomber. Mike: Dare I ask? X: In her defense, Bomber was coming in through her window.
Mike: …why?
X: *shrugs*

… Next Morning …

Spider: You alive at that end?
Bomber: Yeah, tired though.
Spider: Well then get some rest and I'll text you later.
Bomber: Okay.

/Unsent - 9:04 AM/
Spider: I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you.

… 2 weeks later …

Nikki: Kate, Nikki is going to speak in third person now.
Kate: Why?
Nikki: Because Nikki has nothing better to do, as she has been banned from getting drunk and/or handling flower vases in a deadly manner by her CO.

/Kate McGregor added Rebecca Brown/

Kate: Bomb, the cheese has slipped off her cracker.
Bomber:...this concerns me how?
Nikki: Nikki has lost nothing. Except her car keys. She can't find her damn car keys.
Bomber: That's it. Your on decaf now, missy.
Kate: *giggle-snort*
Bomber: Did you seriously just asterisk emotion us?
Nikki: Nikki thinks she did.

/Nikki Caetano added Mike Flynn/

Nikki: Mike, Nikki thinks Kate has lost her mind.
Kate: Mike, your navigator is speaking in third person. Take that into account when you perform your mental state evaluation.
Mike: I think i'll leave now…

/Mike left the conversation/

Kate: Michael Alexander Flynn! Get your happy ass back here!
Nikki: Uh-oh. She's flipped her bitch switch.

/Kate McGregor added Mike Flynn/

Kate: MIKE! Don't you leave in the middle of a conversation!
Mike: I can if I want too, and I'll do it again. Watch.

/Mike left the conversation/

Nikki: Ooooooo….he's done it now. Bomber, run.
Bomber: Agreed.

/Nikki has left the conversation/

/Rebecca has left the conversation/

Kate: Assholes.