1Hey guys! How's it going? This idea just came to me. I hope you guys like it because I'm putting a lot of effort into it. Please review, positive, negative, or in-between!

Okay, so how this works is that the story is going to cross over from present life to chapters from the book. You'll see once you begin reading.

Present- normal type

Thoughts - italic type

The book- bold type

Happy reading!

Memoirs of a Hanyou Chapter 1: Existence

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"So the wedding date is set. Two months from now, the lovely Sango will be my wife." Miroku went on about how he couldn't wait for the wedding night to finally get what he's been waiting for. Inuyasha just let him drone on and tuned him out as he played Solitaire on his laptop. They sat together at a table in the corner of Starbuck's. Inuyasha's best friend was to wed his high school sweetheart, Sango.

Miroku got a dazed look in his eyes as he said, "We're going to keep the headboard banging-"

"So its in two months? Okay," Inuyasha interrupted. "I'll see you later, Miroku." He gathered up his things and left the coffeehouse. He walked home through the busy streets of Tokyo, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts. There was always one thought that plagued his mind, the same thought of the girl with raven black hair and angelic brown eyes. He could think of nothing else ever since she left him two years ago and went to America. Kagome, Inuyasha let her name cross his mind but quickly pushed it aside.

She's Sango's best friend...No doubt she'll be at the wedding...But I don't want to think of her right now, he thought to himself as he unlocked and stepped through the door to his penthouse apartment. He passed a shelf lined with books he'd written. Inuyasha Takahashi was a well known novelist in Japan at the young age of 24. He wrote books of intriguing mystery and suspense, with the occasional horror story.

He'd also written an autobiography a year ago. It entailed his life from when he met Kagome up until their disastrous break up. He'd finished the book a year after she left him, after his life became cold and lonely. It was entitled Memoirs of a Hanyou. Even though every detail about his life was in the book he purposely called it fiction so as to protect the privacy of those he had written about. Only his closest friends and family knew that it was actually an autobiography.

Inuyasha sat his laptop down on the coffee table in his living room, shoving his autobiography to the corner of the table. He plopped down on his black leather couch and allowed his forearm to rest over his closed amber eyes.

Inuyasha began to ponder his life. He thought about what became of him after Kagome. Miroku told him every now and then how he seemed to be angry all the time, the way he was in high school. Miroku and Sango are getting married, and I can't even move on to be happy in my damn life. Since when did I become so soft, feeling lonely because everyone else around me is happy, Inuyasha thought. His thoughts weren't misleading. Since his break up with Kagome two years ago, Inuyasha hadn't been on a single date. But how could he? She was always on his mind. And the fact that she was Sango's maid of honor in the wedding didn't help. He was Miroku's best man. That meant he would have to see her in two month's time. I'm not looking forward to that at all, he thought.

As he laid in silence he heard the sound of something dropping to the floor. He looked to see that it was Memoirs of a Hanyou. His purpose in writing the book was to give Kagome a chance to know what happened and see how sorry he was. When he wrote Memoirs of a Hanyou a year ago, his intentions were to try to get Kagome back through the book. But she never called or visited him, never gave him a sign that she'd read the book. He'd even go so far as to constantly badger Sango about whether or not Kagome said something to her about it. Sango's answer always deflated him. So Inuyasha had given up hope of her ever taking him back even though he still loved her with everything he had.

He picked it up absentmindedly and it fell open to a chapter titled Existence. He let his eyes graze the pages. They scanned over the printed words and he instantly closed the book. He did not want to revisit that time when everything went wrong.

Angrily Inuyasha tossed the book across the room and laid back against the couch once more. Kagome, his mind called again. Are you happy now, he wondered. Again he forced all thoughts of her from his mind. However, his mind drifted back to his autobiography.

Without thinking he stood up and retrieved the book that he had thrown across the room. He brought it back with him to the couch and opened it back up to Existence. Although his mind screamed at him not to read it, not to go back to the pain, his heart told him to do it. He knew in his heart that he had to, for a reason unbeknownst to him. Maybe it was because he wanted to revisit the past. Maybe it was because he wanted to relive the happier moments he'd shared with Kagome, before everything went wrong. Maybe it was because deep down in his heart, he still wanted Kagome back.

He started reading the chapter, deciding to revisit this part of his life once again.

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Existence

Existing. That's all that I'm doing now. Ever since she left me, my life has been empty. And so I've been merely existing. All my life is, is existence.

You may wonder why I'm bearing my soul like this. Most people that know me, know that this is completely out of character. I'm not the type of guy to piss and moan over my problems. Yet here I am, whining. But I have a story and it needs to be told. It needs to be told because I feel like this is the only way I can reach her. Maybe after she reads this, she'll understand. Maybe she'll take me back.

Who is she? For her privacy and my own, I'll call her Jasmine throughout the book. I chose that name because that's what she smells like. I always loved her scent. At first I told her I hated it. When we first met I immediately hated her, because she reminded me of someone from my past. Let me catch you up with that before I get into my story with Jasmine. I'd been dating a girl since my sophomore year of high school- I'll call her Sakura. She was captain of the archery club and a top student. Everyone looked up to her and admired her. She aspired to be a doctor because she was skilled at healing and helping others. Everyone loved her, she was perfect or so it seemed at the time.

In high school I was picked on a lot. I got into a lot of fights. Those bastards. They had a problem with what I am so I solved it with my fists. I wasn't accepted because I'm a hanyou- half demon and half human. My mother was human and she was shunned for being in love with a demon. But she held her head high and never let it get her down. (A/N: In this story, both of Inu's parents are alive, bare with me)

I was merely existing then too. Walking the halls alone, eating lunch alone, sitting in the back of the classroom alone. I was angry all the time. But who wouldn't be? Those idiots annoyed the hell out of me, always talking trash about me and spreading rumors.

Sakura never participated in that. She was above it. She was the only one I didn't hate, except for my best friend, I'll call him Houshi. He wanted to be a monk when he got older, although monks don't go around groping girls the way he did in high school. He's such a pervert. And his girlfriend whom I'll call Taijiya simply because she was very strong and had a low tolerance for the demons in school that chose to harass some of the humans.

Despite having Houshi and Taijiya in my life, I chose to eat lunch by myself everyday. I was used to the solitude. Well, one day as I was eating lunch outside by myself, I heard the sound of someone approaching me. I thought nothing of it, assuming it was Houshi or his girlfriend, even though they knew I liked to be alone. I continued to eat.

Sakura sat down in the grass beside me.

I froze. I didn't know what to do. So I came out with harsh words.

"What the hell do you want?" I spat out at her. She seemed unfazed and just gave me a sad smile as I watched her with a wary eye.


"I just wanted to introduce myself to you," she said. I glared at her, unsure of what to do. She continued, "My name is Sakura. I know that yours is Inuyasha. Its nice to meet you."

"What are you bothering with me for? Go ahead and make fun of me just like all the other bastards at this school," I said angrily. I knew she wasn't like that, but I said it anyway.

"I have no intention of doing that," she said. "I just want to know you. You're so quiet. I'd...like to know you better."

"Why?" I said curiously.

"Because I feel like we're alike. You're expected to be one way by the humans and another by demons, neither will accept you. I...feel as if I'm expected to be one way too. I'm not allowed to show my weakness. I can't be a normal girl. I have to be the perfect model student," she told me sincerely.


I jumped up at that. Who the hell was she to be comparing herself to me? "Get over it. We all have problems," I told her and I left her out there by herself. I looked back at her to see a sad smile on her features. She was beautiful, her long black hair swayed in the wind around her face.

From then on I was intrigued by her and never left her side. We began dating that year and stayed together throughout the rest of high school.

Then, the summer after our senior year, before we went off to college she cheated on me. She got drunk at one of the senior parties and slept with one of the bastards that I hated the most because he was always out to break us up. This guy was the one that gave me the most grief about being a hanyou, he was my arch enemy. I hated him. He used Sakura to get at me and at the same time, wanted her for himself. He succeeded. He will remain nameless because in my opinion, that dirty bastard doesn't deserve to be acknowledged.(A/N: Naraku)

I went to college with a broken, angry heart. Houshi and Taijiya tried to no avail to get me together with other girls, but it was useless. I couldn't trust anyone.

Then I met her. Jasmine. Everything began from there.

I met her at a party that Houshi and Taijiya dragged me to. I was standing alone by the cooler in a daze, my mind was in another place entirely. I was thinking about how much I didn't want to be there.

Taijiya walked up to me saying, "Hey, Inu, I know you're tired of us trying to fix you up but there's someone I want you to meet." I turned around and my heart skipped a beat. Sakura was standing in front of me.

"Sakura?" I asked.

Taijiya gave me a weird look and said, "No... This is Jasmine. Jasmine, this is Inuyasha. Show him a good time, okay?" I regained my composure and realized that this was, in fact, a different girl. I was immediately taken aback by how much she resembled Sakura; it was uncanny. She had the same brown eyes, ebony hair, although hers had a curl to it, and almost the same exact facial features. This immediately brought back memories of Sakura and what she had done. It put a deep scowl on my face.

Jasmine looked at me with a smile and asked, "Would you like to dance with me?" I had no intention of doing that, especially since she reminded me of my ex-girlfriend.

"Go dance by yourself, wench. I have no interest in dancing with you," I told her, looking her straight in the eye as I said it. She looked at me, shocked, but it was immediately replaced with anger.

"Well, the hell with you then!" she screamed at me and threw her drink in my face. She turned on her heel and stormed away into the crowd. I remember thinking at the time, That bitch. She actually threw her drink in my face!

I stormed after her, determined to make her apologize. No one does shit like that to me and gets away with it. I caught up with her and grabbed her arm and turned her to face me.

"You bitch. What the hell is wrong with you!" I yelled at her.

She yanked her arm from my grip and yelled back, "That's what you get forcalling me a wench, you bastard! And don't ever put your hands on me again!" Then she slapped me. I stood there shocked. Everyone around us was starring at the scene we created.

I was using all of my self-control not to hit her back. But damn was I pissed. Houshi had to drag me away while I was yelling a string of curses at Jasmine. Taijiya darted over to do the same to Jasmine as she swore back at me.

She was a feisty one. But from then on my life was never the same. I didn't know it at the time, but that was the moment I fell in love with her. I experienced the ultimate high with her through love in our college years, only to experience the ultimate low as I made a stupid mistake that landed my life to the place it is now. Alone. Living only to exist. Existence.

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If you guys wanna know what it was that Inuyasha did to screw up their relationship, you have to read on!

So how do you guys like the first chapter? I really hope you did like it, I think I'm going to like writing this story. I have a lot of ideas for it. Don't forget to review! Ja ne!

-hieiluva