Recommended Music: A Night to Remember by Joe Diffie
Two weeks after the Femmes had arrived on Earth, it happened. Ironhide and Chromia got into one of the worst and nastiest arguments anyone could ever recall, and it happened just down the hall from the Rec Room. If Optimus and Elita had not been there to intervene, one of them would have ended up in Repair Bay. Chances were, it would have been Ironhide but no one dared say anything. As it turned out, Ironhide stalked off to the firing range while Chromia headed for one of the practice, both declaring that their relationship was over.
It was during this time that Spike and Carly noticed both Ironhide and Chromia made themselves scarce when they weren't on duty and avoided each other as much as possible. To Carly, it was as frustrating as hell for, if they couldn't avoid each other, they remained cool and distance towards the other. Any attempts to get them to talk to each other proved to be futile. They were simply too prideful.
A week after the argument happened, Carly ran into Ironhide. More specifically, she saw Ironhide conversing rather casually with Chromia in the hallway! Carly frowned at this. If they had broken up, why were they talking to each other so casually and like nothing had ever happened? Puzzled, Carly stood there watching them until Ironhide laughed at something and Chromia smiled.
"You two are the most confusing beings I have ever met!" Carly declared, having watched enough of the exchange. It was certainly baffling to her.
Curious, they both looked at her. There was definitely no animosity towards the other on their faces and Carly wondered about that as she approached them.
"What do you mean, Carly?" Ironhide asked.
"I mean you two have an argument a week ago, a nasty one at that, and you won't speak to other for that week but now you're chatting as amiably as an old married couple!" she exclaimed. "What is with that? Have you two gotten back together?"
They looked at each other for a moment before regarding her.
"We're friends, Carly," Ironhide stated.
"We'll always be friends," Chromia added. "We're just not meant to be more than that."
"So why do you two keep trying then?" she rejoined.
To that, they shrugged, like they weren't sure themselves. It frustrated Carly even more to see them being so casual about it. How could they be so blasé about it?
"I just don't understand this," Carly shook her head. "Optimus and Elita told us you two always break up then get back together again . . . But now you're saying you're not meant for each other. I just don't get it."
"Carly," Ironhide began gently, "it's not easy to explain. Chromia and I have always tried to keep everything between us as casual as possible. And it's all because of the war."
"Afraid that one of you might die?" she asked sullenly.
"Well, there's that," Chromia said. "But there's also what would happen should the war end and we're both still alive. Ironhide and I are better off as friends should that happen. We'd kill it each other out of sheer boredom."
"Seems rather lonely, if you ask me," Carly stated. Quickly, she turned around and walked away, thinking about what they had said and trying to make sense of it all.
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"Humans are odd creatures," Chromia commented quietly once Carly was gone. "And very . . ."
"Emotional?" Ironhide offered.
"Yeah," she nodded. "Why do they place such emphasis on companionship? Aside from reproductive purposes," she added, her optics sparkling.
"Don't know," he shrugged. "Probably for some of the same reasons that we do."
They fell silent after he said that, reflecting on what Carly had said. Both soon became lost in their own thoughts and memories. Eventually, they drifted away from the corridor and to their own private quarters, the memories dancing in their minds as they went.
Begin flashback
One orn had passed since Ironhide had met Chromia, and began a fast and passionate relationship. During that time he had told her about the many experiences he had . . . except for his stint in Mistrunner's unit and the fact that he had two Femme creations with another Femme. Why, he still hadn't quite fathomed, though the experience with Mistrunner and Elexis leaving him for the Decepticons was still very painful.
Guess that's why I haven't said anything, he mused to himself as he looked into the black, inky void of space. Hurts too much yet.
Still, she's going to find out sooner or later, especially when Electra and Star show up. It's no excuse not to tell her. Better contact her and let her know I'd like to speak with her once her shift is over.
As if on cue, the door to his quarters whooshed and Chromia flew in as if she were on a solar wind. Ironhide smiled a little to himself as he turned to face her. To him, she looked as radiant as the sun, a long-forgotten memory of Cybertron's past. Ironhide knew that what he was going to tell her could end up hurting her and angering her, and he dreaded telling her.
But she'll definitely be upset should she find out from someone else, he reasoned. I'll take my chances. After all, she may not even get mad. She may even understand.
"Hey," Chromia said as she walked up to him. She kissed him, as she always did, before smiling at him. Her smile faded into a slight frown as his arms slid around her waist.
"What's wrong?"
Ironhide blinked once before replying, "Nothing. Why?"
"Well, you have a sad look in your optics, like you've just lost your best friend or something," she stated. "What's happened?"
"Nothing's happened," Ironhide assured her. "I just . . . I just been doing a lot of thinking. And I have something important to tell you. It ain't easy to talk about."
Chromia's frown deepened as she gazed at him. She looked confused and concerned, like he could end up announcing his own death sentence.
"What is it?"
"I haven't exactly told you everything about myself," he slowly confessed. "And it isn't because I don't trust you with what I'm going to say. I don't trust myself."
"Don't trust yourself?" she echoed, perplexed. "Ironhide, what are you talking about? What happened?"
"I'm not sure on how to begin . . . You heard of the Autobot, Mistrunner, right?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "He was one of Sentinel Prime's most trusted advisors and the commander of Super Nova, a group of telepaths. At least until his death, anyway."
"I served under Mistrunner for a few vorns," Ironhide said quietly.
"You're . . . a telepath?"
"No," he quickly shook his head. "No. Stealth and I were the only non-talents on board. Everyone else was."
"Must have been an honour," she smiled. "Why were you afraid to tell me this?"
"Because Mistrunner was a slagging moron and lunatic," he almost snapped. Talking about Mistrunner had always infuriated him but he was trying to keep his anger under control for Chromia's sake. She didn't know what Mistrunner had truly been like, after all.
"What?" she blinked in surprise. Obviously, he hadn't been able to keep all of his anger and bitterness out of his tone.
"Sorry," he murmured. "Didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just that. . . Mistrunner was crazy. He always wanted to come out victorious and it didn't matter how. The entire regiment could have been destroyed countless times because of him. Prisoners were often tortured needlessly because of him. He even tortured members of Super Nova. Some even died by his hand. It was never an honour."
Slowly, he let go of her and turned away. Rage flowed through him like fire and he didn't want to hurt her because of it. Silence fell until Chromia spoke up a few moments later.
"Did . . . did he ever torture you?"
"Once," Ironhide slowly replied. "Accused me of treason. Because I was under his command he was able to use his talent on me to find out what he wanted to know. Elexis tried to stop him but it didn't work. No one dared to defy him or tell Sentinel. No one wanted to feel his wrath."
"Does anyone else know about this? Outside from the members?" Her tone was quiet, like she was still digesting what he had said.
"Just you and Elexis," he replied. "All the records kept on Super Nova have been tucked away."
Another long silence filled the room and, in light of his confession, a heavy oppressiveness seemed to seep in as well. Ironhide knew what he was going to say next could very well upset her. The agony was not knowing.
"I guess I can understand why you didn't tell me before about that," she finally stated. "Must have been very painful to live through."
"It was," he agreed. "Sometimes I can still screaming in my mind from those days . . . They were dark days . . . But that wasn't the only thing I was going to tell you."
"There's more?"
"Yes," he nodded, facing her once more. "During that time, Elexis and I created two daughters. Elexis stayed with us for a while after Mistrunner died but some things became too much for her . . . She eventually defected to the Decepticons."
Her optics narrowed at that.
"You both brought two innocent lives into this mess?"
Again, he nodded, noticing her optics flashed in anger at this. Not that he could blame her. The war had been rather intense then and to bring even a single innocent life in was catastrophic. Nearly all youngsters died, even at this time. And with what he just told her about Mistrunner . . .
"What happened to the two girls?" Chromia asked coolly.
"They're still alive," Ironhide replied. "Lexy and I reached an agreement when she defected. Neither would be forced to wear a sigil unless they chose to do so on their own. They spend an equal amount of time with both of us but do not speak of what they see while they're with us."
"How could either of you do such a thing?" she hissed. "Have you any idea as to how stupid that was? And selfish? Now they're both caught in a war that could kill them! In case you hadn't noticed, not everyone is friendly when it comes to Neutrals!"
Ironhide felt his defenses going up. He knew full well the risks and consequences of caring for children during a war and the difficulty of raising them to be Neutrals when he wanted them to be Autobots. And he certainly had no doubts that Elexis wanted them to be Decepticons. He still worried about Electra and Star, even when they were staying with him. They were the only lights he had had at that time and to be called stupid for that . . . That was drawing a fighting line.
"They were the only hope that I could find then," he snapped. "And they were the only ones important to me once Elexis defected and before you came along! If that's stupid, as you say it is, so be it! But I will not stand here and listen to you say that when you have no idea as to what was going on then and what we were going through. You don't know, you don't understand!"
The line had been drawn. Chromia stiffened at his tone and he knew that there was a better of way to deal with this than by shouting but it was already too late. His defenses were up and he was not about to back down.
"I still can't believe you'd do something like that, Ironhide. After what you had just told me about Mistrunner and what he did to you and everyone else . . . I just can't believe it. It was stupid! I thought I knew you . . ."
"You do know me," he responded. "What's done is in the past. Electra and Star have turned out fine . . ."
"Ironhide, please . . . Don't say anymore. You have no idea as to what you're saying. Just don't say anything more."
Reluctantly, he didn't say anything more and they stood there in silence for a very long time. The tension in the room slowly ebbed out of him but not entirely. He was still very angry and a part of him was wary that things could only get worse. As he stood there and watched her, he wondered what was going through her mind. Finally, Chromia spoke.
"This changes things . . ."
"How do you mean?" he inquired, puzzled.
"Ironhide, I honestly thought you would never bring a young and innocent being to life during this war. You just didn't strike me as being that way but you did. Not one but two. And your reasons are incredibly selfish . . ."
"Chromia," he began.
"I think it would be better if I stayed somewhere else for a while," Chromia finished. "I need to think about this."
"Why?" he demanded quietly.
"Because," she paused for a moment, trying to gather herself up, "I don't want you asking me to bring an innocent to life while this war goes on. I couldn't do it. And I don't understand how you could. I . . . I think it would be better if we stayed away from each other for a while."
Ironhide felt as if someone had dropped a bomb on him. It was like watching Elexis leave all over again and it hurt worse now than it did then. But he saw that it was hurting Chromia as well.
"Is that what you really want?"
Chromia nodded and he had to wait a moment so he could compose himself.
"I'll be honest with you, 'Mia. I don't want to see you go, but if that's what you really want, I won't make you stay. I just wish I knew what I could say to keep you from leaving."
"There isn't, Ironhide. Please . . ."
"I know," he murmured. "Let you have your space. And I will."
Quickly, Chromia gathered a few of her personal possessions then left. Once she was gone, Ironhide sat down, his head buried in his hands. What had he done?
One stellar cycle had passed since Ironhide had promised Chromia to give her her space. During that time, he buried himself as deeply as he could into his duties, often pulling extra shifts so he didn't have to face the emptiness of his quarters. Ironhide had also become quite unbearable to his fellow Autobots, often becoming snappish over the littlest of things. He finally had been ordered to take a few cycles off to rest.
"Ironhide, my lad," Kup had said. "You're going to work yourself into stasis-lock if you don't take some time off. And I'm not asking you to, I'm telling you. Now go. Before I have someone escort you out."
Grudgingly, Ironhide had complied but, as he was walking back to his quarters, a thought had occurred to him and he decided to act upon it. It wouldn't make up for not having Chromia with him but it was something. He hurried to his quarters, feeling better than what he had in a long while.
End flashback
Ironhide smiled to himself as he remembered that evening. Every holo-picture he had of Chromia decorated the place and he had allowed every single memory to fill his mind. It had eased his heartache some, and eventually he and Chromia began talking once more, mutually agreeing to remain on as friends.
Those were the days, he thought fondly. She was a remarkable Femme back then. Still is, too.
There was a slight knock on the door, bringing him out of his reverie.
"It's open," he called out.
The door slid open to admit Chromia. He knew it was her just by the way that she walked.
"Reminiscing again?" she teased as she stood next to him. They were both looking out at the surrounding forest.
"Yep," he replied. "Would you like a drink? Got some high grade stashed away and it's not the stuff you can get in the Rec."
"No," she said. "I'm fine. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They stood there for a few moments before she finally said, "I actually have a confession to make."
"Oh?" He raised an optic ridge at her.
"Yes . . . Remember when you first told me about Electra and Star?"
"Yeah . . ."
"I lied."
"You lied? About what?"
"About wanting to leave. I never did. But I was so angry . . ."
"I know," he smiled. "I know."
Chromia smiled back.
"Think you can finally tell him?"
Ironhide paused for a moment, thinking. He knew what Chromia was talking about for they'd been arguing about it for the last several millennia. Now that it came down to it, Ironhide no longer wanted to say anything. Though his life had been one long open book, there were still some secrets that he kept, even from his best friend. They were his skeletons to bear and he saw no reason to burden anyone else with them. Not even Optimus. A part of him longed to tell someone, other than Chromia, but he didn't believe he could ever find that strength again. He just wanted to forget that it even happened.
"Naw," he drawled. "Not this time. Time's not right. May never be right."
Chromia nodded and left it at that. Together, silently, they watched as the sun faded into the west, lighting the sky on fire in brilliant shades of orange, red, and yellow. For one moment, Ironhide felt at peace with himself and all was as it should be.