Chloe glanced at the clock for maybe the millionth time in the past half hour. It was still 8:30. The same it had been 10 seconds ago, the last time she looked at the clock. God only knows how many times her eyes have darted there since 5:30, the time Beca usually got home from work.
"Hey babe. Is everything ok? I haven't heard from you since early this afternoon and- Please call me." That was the fifth message Chloe had left for Beca. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but she couldn't shake the sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong. She had never had such a hard time reaching Beca before. She peeked out the front window to check the driveway again. Empty, as it had been for the past twelve hours. Chloe took a slow deep breath and curled her fingers into her palms, which had become clammy somewhere around the third message.
Her phone went off, signaling a text message. Chloe picked it up hopefully, only to see it was from Jesse instead of Beca.
No, I haven't heard from Beca since yesterday. Sorry Chloe.
Chloe typed out a quick reply as she walked around the kitchen. Jesse wasn't the first to send her a disappointing reply. She leaned against the kitchen counter and shakily breathed in again. She tried really hard to prevent herself from thinking of the worst possible scenario.
She's just held up at work. Everything will be ok.
You know how bad traffic can be getting out of LA.
Maybe she went out with some friends and lost her phone.
Chloe played phrases like these over and over in her mind, each one more farfetched than the last.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. She answered so fast she didn't even see the Caller I.D. "Hello?!" she half-shouted into the phone.
"May I speak with Chloe Beale?"
"This is she." Chloe replied, her tone no more calm than before.
"I'm calling from St. John's Hospital. I'm afraid Beca Mitchell has had a medical emergency and we'd like you to get here as soon as possible."
Chloe's worst fears came crashing down on her in that moment. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she knew all along something had happened.
White-faced, Chloe replied with "I'll be right there" before hearing the line go dead.
The white stripes on the road blurred around Chloe as she drove (probably much faster than the speed limit) to one of the biggest hospitals in the city. Rather than think about where she was going, she focused on who she was going to see. She was thinking of Beca, effortlessly picturing every detail of her gorgeous girlfriend in her mind as she zipped down the asphalt.
Well, gorgeous fiancée now. Chloe hadn't gotten used to that word yet, but she liked how it sounded when it was applied to Beca. Her mind drifted to the past December.
She and Beca were at Beca's mom's house for Christmas. It wasn't the first time Chloe had met Beca's mother, but it was definitely the first time she had been with her for more than an hour long meal. After spending the past Christmas with Chloe's family, Beca thought it would only be fair if they stayed at her own mom's house for a few days during the holiday season. Chloe happily agreed to anything if it meant being with Beca.
And Chloe was instantly glad that she had agreed because Beca's step-dad was hilarious and despite Beca's claim to badassery she couldn't fight the childlike smile that appeared on her face when they were making cookies or watching old Christmas specials.
On Christmas Eve Beca and Chloe had stayed up cuddling and talking about their lists to Santa when they were kids.
"My lists were always pretty short. I always wanted music stuff." It was nearing 2 am. They were lying down and carrying on a conversation with Beca's head on Chloe's shoulder.
"It's hard to imagine five year old Beca Mitchell asking for turntables." Chloe said as she laughed at the idea of a young DJ Mitchell.
"No, that didn't happen until I was like, fifteen. I did ask for a drumset though." Beca started laughing. "My parents got me one and our neighbor Mrs. Henderson hated them for it." She started laughing even harder, and Chloe couldn't help but join as she felt her girlfriend's torso move up and down because of her giggling.
"What about you?" Beca said to her girlfriend, her smile audible in her words.
"It sounds kinda silly," Chloe said, "but a pony was on my list every single year." Chloe's face turned a light shade of red. "I remember when I was nine and I was really desperate to get that mini horse, so on my list I wrote 'pony' like twelve times. Every other thing I wished for was a pony."
Beca started laughing again, and even Chloe started chuckling too.
"So did you get it?" Beca asked, her curiosity piqued.
"No. Completely ruined my faith in Santa Claus. I was never the same after I went downstairs Christmas morning and heard a disappointing lack of whinnying." Chloe mock-pouted.
"I'll avenge you, babe. The jolly old bastard will never see it coming." Beca deadpanned.
They started laughing again after that. Chloe had never felt more at home with somebody, she realized. Their laughter died down and they lay in comfortable silence aside from the few giggles that escaped them every few minutes. Beca looked up at Chloe, resting her chin just below Chloe's collarbone.
"What?" Chloe asked after a few minutes went by without Beca saying anything.
"You're just really beautiful." Beca said softly.
Chloe was taken aback by this. It was sweet, but she usually didn't hear those sappy sentiments from Beca.
"Beca-"
"I mean it Chlo. I love you. A lot."
Chloe smiled. A big cheesy smile that she discovered only Beca could get her to produce. "And I love you."
Beca shifted and moved her hand off Chloe's waist. Chloe wondered what she was doing as Beca dug around in her pocket for something.
"I was gonna wait 'til later today, but…" Beca found what she was looking for, and pulled out a small black box.
Chloe gasped as Beca opened the box, revealing a small, glimmering diamond ring.
A grin spread across Beca's face from ear to ear as she watched her girlfriend's reaction. "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Chloe. Marry me?"
Chloe almost couldn't believe it was happening. She was being proposed to at 2 am on Christmas morning. "Yes. Of course yes." Chloe's face mirrored Beca's joy-filled expression as she slipped the ring onto Chloe's finger and gently kissed her hand. Beca moved forward to kiss her new fiancée on the lips until they broke it with their goofy smiles.
Beca lay down again and Chloe reached to turn off the bedside lamp. Chloe readjusted her position so that her lips were centimeters from Beca's forehead and she could feel Beca's breath just above her collarbone. "Merry Christmas." Beca whispered, the tiredness suddenly evident in her voice. "Merry Christmas, Beca." Chloe whispered back. She smiled to herself; it was more perfect than she ever imagined it would be.
And hopefully it wouldn't be their last Christmas together.
Chloe pulled into the parking lot, unfortunately full at such a late hour. She wondered how many other people were coming to visit their loved ones, some of them for the last time. She shook off the thought as she rushed to the front desk.
"I'm here to see Beca Mitchell!" she said as she hit the counter with a bit too much force.
The large woman sitting behind the counter started to ask "Relat-"
"I'm her fiancée." Chloe said rapidly.
"Oh!" Startled as she may have been by Chloe's entrance, this piece of information shocked her more. A nurse who was filing some paperwork behind the disconcerted woman overheard the conversation and politely said "Right this way" to Chloe. Chloe jumped to follow her, leaving the other lady with her mouth agape.
The nice nurse started leading Chloe down the hallways and giving an explanation. "Sorry. You'll have to forgive Doris; she can be a little old-fashioned. I'm Helen. I've been one of Beca's main nurses since she got here." They made it to the elevator and she reached out to shake Chloe's hand. "Oh." Chloe didn't so much say the word as make an "O" shape with her mouth. "Chloe Beale. How is she? What happened? I don't even know why she's here."
Helen's smile faded and she drew in a breath before explaining Beca's situation to Chloe. "Well, she came to the E.R. around five with some serious pain in the right side of her abdomen. When we asked her to rank her pain she insisted it was nothing higher than a seven, but the way she almost cried giving us that number told us it was something more serious."
Badass Beca Mitchell. Her seven was everyone else's ten.
"We figured out pretty quickly after that that her appendix had burst." Helen continued.
"God." Chloe said. The elevator dinged, signaling they were on Beca's floor. Helen led the way again through the maze of hallways. "Is she okay?" Chloe asked.
"It's not an uncommon thing. We're prepared for appendix ruptures. But…" Helen whipped around the corner. The "but" stunned Chloe and delayed her turn around the corner for a few seconds. "But what?" she half-yelled as she chased after the nurse.
"…When we performed the surgery, we saw that the infection that caused the organ to burst had spread." Chloe swallowed hard. Helen stopped in front of a door and turned to look at Chloe. Her eyes were big and full of sympathy, but it didn't make the words any more bearable.
"The infection is really severe all around her midsection now. The doctors are trying to keep it from spreading but-"
Chloe nodded, blinking back tears.
Helen looked as if she were about to resume talking, but Chloe couldn't bear to hear the words and the piercing, pleading look in Chloe's eyes was enough to silence her.
After what felt like an eternity, the nurse opened the door and the fiancées were allowed to see each other.
"Beca!"
"Chloe!"
The two women said concurrently as Chloe crossed the room to get to the love of her life who was lying on a hospital bed with numerous tubes attached to her body.
"I'm so glad you're here." Beca said feebly as Chloe grabbed her hand and squeezed, probably much too hard.
"I'm-" Chloe started, intending to finish with "so glad you're okay", but remembering that wasn't the case chose "I'm not going anywhere."
Chloe flashed Beca a warm smile before reaching out to pull a chair over to Beca's bedside, all the while not letting go of her fiancée's hand. It was a little bit of a stretch, but Chloe was willing to reach if she didn't have to release her grip on Beca's hand.
They sat for several minutes just staring at each other. Beca finally broke the silence with, "These drugs they've been giving me are great." She tried to deadpan the statement but eventually stopped fighting the smile and by the end of the sentence she was beaming at Chloe. Chloe smiled too; glad to see that Beca was still her same old self, even in the hospital.
"Are they now?" Chloe played along, turning up the right corner of her mouth.
"I might have to take some home with me." Beca said.
"We'll keep it in the supply closet." Chloe continued the banter.
"No no no, I want enough to fill the guest bedroom."
Chloe feigned disapproval. "What if someone wants to stay over? Or what if we ever have kids?"
"We'll keep them in the supply closet." Beca said, as if it were obvious.
They both chuckled. Chloe had always loved Beca's laugh.
A few minutes went by with the two lovers just gazing into each other's eyes. Chloe's thumb rubbed gentle circles on the back of Beca's hand. They comforted each other.
Their time together was interrupted by a nurse coming into the room. It wasn't Helen; Chloe didn't even know who it was.
"I need to administer a little more medication." She said sweetly.
Beca and Chloe exchanged a knowing look and started giggling again.
"Of course." Chloe replied, standing up to get out of the nurse's way.
It was hard to let Beca go, even if only for a minute.
"How have you been doing?" the nurse asked.
Beca gave an exasperated sigh, "I'm fine." Anyone with a pulse would be able to see the struggle behind those words. "I'm super thirsty though."
"I can get you some water." Chloe piped up. Beca smiled sweetly. "Thanks Chlo."
Beca turned back to the nurse, Pam, as it turned out, who promptly started talking medical to Beca. Beca became fully engaged with the woman so Chloe decided to slip out of the room.
As Chloe was returning to Beca's room with a bottle of water, she quickly rounded a corner and bumped right into a man standing there.
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't see where I was-"
"Don't be." He said in a very friendly way. "I shouldn't have been standing where you couldn't see me." He smiled at Chloe.
The man wasn't alone, he was talking with a woman right before Chloe bumped into him.
"Thanks." Chloe forced a smile and let out a shaky breath.
"Are you okay?" The woman asked, genuine concern on her face.
"Not really." Came Chloe's unhesitant reply.
"Who are you here for?" The man asked. "I'm Joe by the way. This is my wife, Kathryn."
"Chloe." She said as she shook each of their hands. "My girlfriend- well, fiancée is really sick." Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes but Chloe blinked them back.
The couple looked at her sympathetically. "We're here for my dad. He has a serious heart condition. We're regulars here. If you need anything, anything at all, feel free to talk to us." Kathryn said. "We'll be right in there." She pointed to the room next to Beca's.
"That's so sweet, thank you. I'd better get back to my gi- fiancée now."
Joe laughed a little. "Just engaged?" He said as Chloe walked away.
Chloe turned around with her hand on the door handle, flashed a smile, and said "Yeah."
When Chloe got back into the room, she could tell Beca had been crying. Beca didn't cry. Like ever.
Shit.
"Hey babe." Chloe said, pretending nothing was wrong. She knew Beca would like it better if she got to tell Chloe herself instead of Chloe prying it out of her.
"Hey." Beca said, staring into space.
"I brought you your water."
"Hm? Thanks." Beca said numbly.
Chloe held Beca's forearm, bringing Beca to look at her for the first time since she entered the room again.
More tears started flooding from Beca's eyes, making their way through the tracks that had been left.
"It's not looking good, Chloe." It was difficult for Beca to talk with the lump in her throat. "She was checking out my monitors and you know what she said? I don't think she meant for me to hear her, but she said 'Oh dear'. Who the fuck says 'oh dear' when they're attending to a patient?!" Beca leaned over as best she could so Chloe could wrap her arms around her. Chloe could feel Beca's tears dripping onto her shirt, not that she minded.
"Oh God Chloe I'm dying. I'll never be able to have kids or grow old with you." Beca's words were rushed. "I proposed to you; I promised to be with you forever less than a month ago and now I'm not even gonna make it to our wedding day."
Suddenly, Chloe got an idea. "Well, who says you can't?"
It was a great idea. Possibly the best idea in the history of ideas. It just needed to be executed.
Beca had her finger slammed down on the little button that summoned the nurses. Helen came charging through the door. "Ms. Mitchell?! What do you need? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine, Helen." Chloe explained. "We just need a favor." Chloe went on to describe all the details of her plan.
"What is it you need from me?" Helen asked, willing to agree whole-heartedly to anything the two young women could ask.
Chloe smiled victoriously. "Could you maybe bring a few more nurses, as well as a chaplain up to Beca's room?"
Chloe rapped on the door of the room next to Beca's until Joe, who was still chipper but slightly more groggy looking, answered.
"Chloe? What is it?"
"I need your help."
Minutes later, five nurses, a chaplain, as well as Joe and Kathryn were all crowded into Beca's room. Beca was lying on the hospital bed. She had tried to stand up, only to be faced with shooting pains in her side, and she quickly realized that standing wasn't going to be an option.
Chloe came striding through the door to the hospital room. It wasn't exactly a wedding procession, but it was more than enough for Beca, who was beaming at her beautiful bride-to-be.
"You look gorgeous." Beca said.
Chloe, in fact, looked tired. Dark circles had formed around her eyes now that it was nearly midnight and she hadn't exactly had a worry-free day. Her clothes were a little wrinkled and her hair a bit unkempt from anxiously running her hand through it in the moments before she entered the room. But on their wedding night, in Beca's eyes, Chloe looked as stunning as ever.
Chloe continued sauntering over to Beca until she was close enough to lace their fingers together.
"I guess we're ready then." The chaplain cleared his throat.
"We are here to celebrate the…" he looked around the room "…atypical union of Rebeca Mitchell and Chloe Beale."
That got a small laugh out of everybody.
"Today will be the start of a journey for the two of you." He smiled brightly at them.
I hope so. Chloe thought to herself as she looked into Beca's eyes. She didn't receive the same hopeful look from Beca. Chloe could see in Beca's eyes that she knew about the inevitable.
"Chloe, if you would like to say your vows?" He had been told to keep it short and sweet.
Chloe breathed deeply. She had been anticipating her wedding day since she was five years old. Though none of her fantasies ever looked like the situation she was currently in. And yet she couldn't be happier with how it turned out. She was marrying Beca, the love of her life, and she really couldn't ask for anything better.
"I remember the night I fell in love with you, Beca Mitchell." Beca quirked an eyebrow and Chloe continued. "I came to your dorm room because you called me saying you were stressed about schoolwork and you couldn't figure out any of the mixes you were working on. You didn't need me to help you find the right notes or answer your biology questions; you just wanted me to be with you. We stayed up most of the night talking about nothing. You told me little things about you that no one else knew. You told me that you hate swimming because you fell into a pool when you were six, and that hot chocolate is your favorite drink, and why you got your first tattoo. And then you fell asleep with my arms around you and as I was holding you and falling asleep, I realized how completely in love with you I was." At this point tears were leaking out of Chloe's eyes. Beca feebly reached up to wipe them away.
"I'm so thankful that you came into my life, Beca."
A beat passed. "If you'll repeat after me," the chaplain said. Chloe nodded.
"I, Chloe Elizabeth Beale, take you, Rebeca Anne Mitchell,"
"I, Chloe Elizabeth Beale, take you, Rebeca Anne Mitchell,"
"To be my partner, and to love you and trust you."
"To be my partner, and to love you and trust you."
"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together,"
"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together,"
"Getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more every day."
"Getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more every day."
"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."
"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."
Chloe's features were lit up with a soft smile as she slid Joe's wedding ring onto Beca's finger. It was way too big but they didn't care.
As the minutes had passed, Beca's complexion had grown increasingly pallid. Her hands were shaking and clammy as she reached under the covers to grasp Chloe's ring. A pain shot through her abdomen that labored her breathing and she abruptly slipped the ring onto Chloe's hand before waiting for instruction from the priest. A look of confusion played across Chloe's face for a second but when she noticed how the steady stream of beeps had slowed down significantly she let Beca continue.
Beca managed one last smile at Chloe and said slightly above a whisper, "I meant what I said earlier. I- I'll love you forever. Please just remember that, even if I'm not there. I'll always love you, Chloe."
For a moment the room was dead silent; save for the still flatline shriek of the heart monitor and the near inaudible whimper that came from Chloe's throat, the sign that she was about to break down sobbing.
