To my ever dearest Takumi,

Wherever you may be right now, i wish you're happy. I wish you are surrounded by people who love you truly without any hidden agendas and etc. I sure hope with all my heart that your family finally accepted you as their own, as one of them, and finally able to use the "oh so great family name, Walker" as you say so sarcastically without sending chills to your spine. Hahaha!

There are so many things I'm dying to know…if only i could see you, talk to you, even just for one day, be that high school students we were before… happy days. Come to think of it, i never even heard anything about you year after you left. Honestly, it breaks my heart a little every time. NOT! Breaks my heart big time, every time. But what's done is over and gone, right? So why can't i move on like everyone else? Like you? How did you do it? Cope with the after effects? I mean, you disappeared without a trace. Well of course during that time you and your family were on the news (scandal) as you call it. Everywhere, newspapers, television, radio, magazines and even on the internet, but without a single trace of "me" in your new life? So you can just imagine how it tortured me to see your face everywhere when all i ever wanted is to forget you. Crazy! But i deserved every bit of pain.

Well the last thing i heard about you is that you are doing great with your grandfather's businesses. Actually there's nothing new about it. I mean, you can do anything; nothing is way impossible for Usui Takumi…except getting back to me.

Takumi, are you still mad at me? Do you hate me still? That you totally buried all of our memories? Or my existence because of what i did? What i said? We both know it was a big lie! That saying i don't love you anymore is a stupid lie! Why did you believe me? Why did you walk away when i told you to? Why didn't you stay when i asked you to leave? Why did you ignore me like i wished you would? Why? Can't you see pass my pretense? Can't you tell that I'm lying? Can't you feel that i am dying to be with you? Or maybe, you're the one who's running out of love? But it's all over.

If you'll ever read this, which i know you wouldn't, i just want you to know that i am truly sorry. I know that my apology can never ever compare to the amount of hurt i caused you. And even if i say sorry for a million times, day and night, i don't deserve to be forgiven. There is not a day that passed that i didn't feel guilty, hurt, miserable, hating and disgusted with myself for following your grandfather's orders! If only i could turn back time, but i can't. I'm a coward.

Again, i am truly sorry. I love you Takumi to the moon and back, and i guess i always will. I know that there's no sense in saying all of these now, but somehow I'm still hoping, praying not to be forgiven, or to be loved back, but to simply let you know my side of this tragic love story. I will give up everything just to have another chance to make things right.

You are the best thing that ever happened to me Takumi, and you will always be. The best person i ever had. My enemy, my greatest rival, my bestfriend , my hero, and most of all, my love.

I said this before and i will never grow tired of saying this… you are my home.

I am terribly missing you, and i'm so tired of wondering around with an empty heart. Takumi; i want to come home.

From Misaki Ayuzawa

7pm at my office. Finally! Time to go home.

*3 knocks then my door opened. Sakura entered my office.

"Are you ready to go Misaki?

"I ahm… almost, Sakura" i answered in panic as i quickly gathered the papers scattered on my table without taking my eyes off her.

"Then hurry up! I'm starving"! She whined.

"Ok just give me a minute." I smiled apologetically.

"K then. I'll go downstairs to check on something, I'll wait for you outside. Hurry up ok?" She said while closing the door.

"Yeap! it'll be quick!" i half yelled while i was typing on my laptop.

G M AI L compose

AyuzawaMisa07

To: TakumiUsui07

Subject: Another stupid letter you will never read.

Compose email: (the letter above)

Then i confidently pressed on " SEND" button.

"There" i mumbled.

This is the second letter i wrote for him this year, January 02, 2017. Been writing letters for Takumi each and every day. Ever since we separated with each other, for 5 years. Pathetic right? Telling him about the things i never had the chance to tell him personally. But i am a coward, been sending this letters/emails to his dead account. The one he already abandoned… like me.

I don't have his new one, or if he ever has one, i don't know. I don't have the courage to get it or something… i just can't. I don't want to hurt him more. Even if i'm dying to communicate with him again.

Anyway, for God knows why i still hope for something to happen, like writing a letter each and every day would take me somewhere near him. Or am i waiting for a sign? But, what sign? Something like that. To be honest… i don't know.

After i checked it for the second time to make sure i sent it, i logged out my account and turned off my Laptop.

I sighed after turning off the light and closing my door.

7:30am at the office.

I am 30 minutes early as usual, always the first one to arrive. I sat on my chair and turned on my laptop to check on my mails. I scrolled my sent items… noticed something different…i can't figure it out at first, but then i realized the little red word on the side of every email i sent "SEEN".

I almost fell on the floor. I felt like all my blood just drained out of my body, my chest tightened and i felt like I'm about to faint.

But that wasn't all… a notification popped up "1 reply from TakumiUsui07 gmail .com.

And… i just died.