Merarii rolled over in her bed and sighed. All she could hear was the sound of the engines; all else was quiet. Only a small candle gave light on the dark shadows that filled her quarters. She assumed Malavai and Vette had fallen asleep at last. They had been up for a while, each doing their own thing. They had invited her to have dinner with them, but she declined. She needed to distance herself for a while.
She wondered what time it was, and how long it would be until she would need to get up and complete her next task.
She lied still and tried to slow her breathing, but nothing worked.
She climbed out of her bed and slipped into a light purple robe, and tied back her hair with a thin leather cord she had when she was just six years old.
She sighed in frustration realizing sleep wouldn't come to her that night.
Merarii slipped out of her quarters and fumbled around in the dark.
She eventually crawled over to the Fury's dark-colored sofa and settled in with her datapadd.
She activated it and stared at the blank screen for a moment, silently in the dark.
She manipulated the screen with her hands, and brought up an old file.
Merarii stared at a picture; people that were complete strangers to her.
A young woman with tired dark eyes and a faint smile that hid secrets was the first thing her eyes were drawn to, then a man; strong and happy, held the woman in his arms. A tiny girl stood by them; dark black hair, grey eyes and serious looking.
She smiled a little. This was the only picture she ever saw of them together- her family. The little girl was her.
She couldn't remember anything about her childhood; she really never had one.
When she was six she began her training at the Academy on Korriban.
Every day she woke up and tried to survive and please her overseers. She worked until her muscles tired and she bled; and then forevermore.
Her only friend had been her training saber; her only ally- herself.
She closed her eyes and felt the force signatures of her crew around her. For the moment they were safe, and all of them were together. For once in her life, she had a family.
She wiped away a single tear that slipped down, and breathed deeply.
She had to pull herself together and not show any weakness.
Merarii lied there the rest of the night; pushing back her sorrow and feelings of loss.
She was sith; that couldn't change. She was alone, but it would have to do.
Her heart couldn't mend, but she could still feel. Love was her weakness; but it was also her strength.