Tag (sorta) to 11x20 because I needed them to address the reappearance of the Samulet. It's literally just sappy brother fluff.

All This Time

A Supernatural Fanfic

It wasn't really anything of consequence. He hadn't even thought it really worked as it was supposed to until recent events proved differently, but that hadn't been what it was about anyway. It wasn't about what it was, it was about what it represented between him and Sam and somewhere along the line he had forgotten that.

But apparently Sam hadn't.

Dean sat on his bed, unable to sleep, just staring at the strange little amulet sitting in the palm of his hand. The little horned face was a bit dinged from the amount of wear both around his neck and then in Sam's pocket, and the leather cord it was attached to was stiff with years of sweat and probably blood. He had worn the thing every day since that Christmas so many years ago when Sam had given it to him because Dean told him the truth about what Dad really did for a job. Until he gave it to Cas for his search for God, and when that failed, he had been so depressed, so thoroughly done with everything, that he had tossed it aside with little care. A few times he had regretted it, but perhaps he had never really realized what the amulet meant. Because it wasn't about its supernatural powers, it was something much deeper than that. It was about his and Sam's bond as brothers, Sam's trust in him, and their unfailing devotion to each other. And when he threw it away, maybe part of him had been saying that he didn't trust Sam either.

Of course, in the years that followed, they had gotten over certain things, repaired fences, and recently they had been doing better together then they had in years. But Dean had rarely thought of the amulet, in fact he had sort of forgotten it all together until he saw the glow coming from Sam's pocket and found the last thing he had ever expected to find there. The kid had kept it this whole time. Go figure.

And then Dean thought of Sam fishing it out of the garbage can in the motel when he wasn't looking, tucking it away because he must have thought Dean would regret tossing it, and yet…Dean hadn't. He hadn't said a thing, and now he wondered what that had done to Sam. He wasn't so much of a fool to think that hadn't hurt his brother in some way. It made his heart ache now just thinking of it.

There was a soft knock on his door before it opened and Dean looked up, rather sheepishly at Sam who was holding two beers out.

"Hey, I wondered if you…" Sam's voice trailed off as he caught sight of what was sitting in Dean's palm. Dean's fingers slowly curled over the amulet, embarrassment worming its way into him. But Sam was still staring, and Dean knew they would have to get this over with eventually, so he sighed and nodded for Sam to come into the room.

"So, did you keep it in your pocket this whole time?" Dean asked before he could back down.

Sam slowly walked over to the bed and sat down, elbows on his knees, setting the bottles on the floor, not looking directly at Dean. "Not…the whole time. I did for a while, then I kept it in my bag. Obviously, I wasn't exactly sentimental when I was soulless." He shrugged self-consciously. "I um, kind of just started carrying it again."

Dean was silent for a long time, running his thumb over the smooth gold. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "I was going to on several occasions. When…when you were suffering from the Mark, I thought it might do something, but…I don't know. I don't even know why I kept it." The last admission was a blatant lie that Sam hardly bothered to cover up with a half-hearted shrug.

Dean swallowed hard. "I'm glad you did."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, genuinely surprised. "I kind of…I don't know, I didn't think you…" He stopped, swallowing hard and turning quickly away from Dean but his big brother heard the unspoken words: I didn't think you cared.

Dean silently swung his legs over to side of the bed until he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Sam, the amulet still cupped in one hand. He absently twined the leather cord through his fingers.

"Why don't…why don't you wear it?" Sam asked him hesitantly.

Dean stopped, his fingers closing over the amulet as he rested his hand on his knee. This was the real problem he had with its reappearance, and he almost just brushed it off, but he knew he needed to say what was on his mind. Knew Sam deserved that.

"I don't really feel like I deserve to," he said quietly.

Sam finally turned to look at him with a confused frown. "What? Why?"

Dean shifted and peeked between his fingers at the amulet again. "You gave me this as a gift of trust and brotherhood and I just—threw it away. I never really thought about it again, but you kept it all these years, and…I never realized really what it meant to you, and wonder if it ever meant the same thing to me."

Sam shifted a little closer and reached over to pull the amulet from Dean's hand. Dean allowed him to do it, but already felt a bit empty to have it leave his person—apparently he hadn't realized how much he had missed it. Sam held it up for him to see.

"I don't really believe that, Dean. Besides, I didn't keep it for me, I kept it for you." Sam shrugged subconsciously. "We've been through a hell of a lot since then, you know. We aren't the same as we were, but the one thing that hasn't changed is that we're still there for each other. We always have each other's backs because we're brothers and that's what matters; we don't need a token to remind us of that." Sam smiled and dropped the amulet back into Dean's hand. "But I think you should wear it anyway. It's yours and it always has been."

Dean looked at it nestled in his palm, seeing the new pact Sam offered, which they had been following for a while now, but hadn't spoken aloud. The fidelity of their brotherhood and everything that entailed. No, they didn't need a token to remind them, but Dean would wear the amulet, since it was a gift that obviously had meant something to Sam when he had given it to him and meant enough for him to be carting it around in his pocket for years. And the fact that Sam thought he deserved to wear it after everything—that in itself gave Dean a surge of hope and belief in himself which he hadn't felt in a long time.

After just a small hesitation, he looped the familiar weight around his neck and let it settle against his chest. He heard Sam give an barely audible sigh of relief or contentment or something else he couldn't read, and turned to see his younger brother's misty eyes. He touched the amulet.

"I'll never throw this away again," Dean said firmly.

Sam smiled. "I know." He passed Dean one of the beers and they popped the tops and knocked the bottles together.

Then they sat there and drank in companionable silence for a long time because words would have ruined the sentiment both felt. But they knew that now, for sure, they could face whatever was to come because they were brothers and that was enough.

Hope you all liked this!

If you're looking for something more angsty and love Cas whump, check out my new story "Guardian" :)