He watches her flit about the precinct, moving from her desk to the break room to refill her espresso, and from the boys' desks to her murder board to add a new detail to the case profile. He's really going to miss this. But it's time.
"Hey, Castle. Why don't you do something useful and help Ryan and Esposito sort through the letters?" she calls to him from across the bullpen.
"Sure," he nods, standing up and moving to join the boys in the conference room.
She doesn't know he plans for this to be his last case. He's not exactly sure how to tell her. He's been her plucky sidekick, no wait, partner for 10 years now after all. She's come to depend on him to always have her back and to be there when she gets shoved into a sticky situation. But this is his last Nikki Heat book; one more than was in the Derek Storm series. It's time for Nikki to find her happy ending, just like he has.
"I'm telling you, Kev, that handwriting is not a match."
"Oh come on! They both dot their i's with a full circle instead of just a dot."
"A lot of people do that."
"Oh yeah? Name one."
"These two different people for instance."
Castle chuckles to himself as he stands in the doorway watching the partners argue. He's going to miss these two knuckleheads too. It's not like he's moving or anything or plans to cut these people out of his life altogether, but not seeing them at the precinct everyday…it will be weird.
"Yo, Castle, help us settle this debate," Esposito calls to him. "Is the handwriting in these letters a match?"
He gives them a once over, noting the different slants of the letters. "Ryan, I think you've been looking at these things for too long. The only thing they have in common is the way they dot their i's."
Ryan grumbles something incoherent and snatches the nonmatching letter, tossing it into the discard pile.
"You've been awful quiet today, bro," Esposito starts, looking back over at Castle. "Something on your mind?"
He debates whether or not he should tell them. He knows these two see Kate as their sister and if he tells them something that would affect her in a negative way, they'd be all over him trying to fix it. He may be the one who always has her back, but Ryan and Esposito are the ones who are always there for her, especially when he fails at his job. Ryan was the one to save her from that rooftop. And Esposito was the one to help her overcome her PTSD. Castle realizes then that these people are family and they have the right to know too.
"I'm thinking this is going to be my last case."
The detectives are silent for a long moment, simply staring him down. It worries him.
"What does Beckett have to say about that?" Ryan asks.
"I, uh, I haven't told her yet."
The partners exchange a glance. A glance that Castle has seen dozens of times before. A glance that he knows he doesn't like.
"Do you think she's going to be mad?"
"I suppose it depends on your reasoning," Esposito shrugs. "Why do you want to leave? Why now?"
"Well I'm ending Nikki Heat and –"
They exchange that stupid glance again.
"And Savannah and Eric are just home with a sitter all day and –"
Their expressions soften and they simply look at each other and nod.
"She'll get it, bro," Esposito tells him. "She'll understand. Just go talk to her."
"Yeah, but I'd still do it now, while she's in a good mood," Ryan adds. "The longer it takes us to find a lead on this case, the more frustrated she's going to get."
Castle nods, thanking them and wanders back out to where Kate is standing in front of her murder board. He hopes she isn't too mad that his "usefulness with letters" consisted of only looking at one. He stands and watches her for a moment, mesmerized. Her tongue snakes out and draws her lower lip into her mouth as she concentrates. Oh how he loves that tongue… She rakes her left hand through her long brown waves of hair and the diamond in her ring catches one of the last glints of sunlight as it starts to set behind the New York skyline. He walks up to her slowly and bumps her elbow with his.
"Hey Castle," she says without taking her eyes off of the board.
"Got a sec?"
She turns to meet his gaze and he notes that her eyes are looking especially green today.
"What's up?" she asks. "Find something with the letters?"
"No, uh this is something else. It doesn't have anything to do with the case. Okay, well it sort of does, but not in the way that you would think…"
"Castle," she cuts him off. "Just spit it out."
He takes her by the arm and leads her back over to her desk. He sits in his chair and motions for her to sit as well. Instead, she opts for leaning against her desk with her arms now crossed over her chest. Typical.
Castle takes a deep breath. "This is going to be my last case."
He watches her shift through a range of emotions in about five seconds.
"Okay, Castle," she says simply and starts to move away.
That's it? But, no. He recognizes that tone. She's humoring him. She doesn't believe him.
"I'm serious, Kate. After this, I'm done."
She whirls back around to face him, her long hair fanning out behind her.
"You couldn't stay away if you tried."
"Well I…I'm going to try."
She seems to get that he's serious now and she almost looks hurt.
"Why?"
"I'm ending Nikki Heat. I told you that."
"Castle, this hasn't been about those books since the first year you started following me."
"Okay well maybe so, but if I'm not going to write Nikki anymore, I need to go out and research new material. Find new inspiration."
Uh-oh, bad word choice.
"Time for a new muse, huh?"
"No, no, no, Kate. That's not what I meant. I just can't write Nikki anymore, you know that. You agreed that another book would be dragging out her story for too long. And it's not like I'm killing her off like I did to Derek. I just need something new, you know? Something fresh. My next big hit."
He can see the smile pulling at the corners of her lips and suddenly he's very confused. Kate touches his arm, forcing him to meet her gaze.
"I was making a joke, Castle. I know better. I'm your wife after all."
He visibly relaxes. "So you're not mad?"
"I know you. I know how you write. I know how you research. But we come across so many different things right here; I'm surprised you don't want stick around until your next big inspiration hits you."
"Well there's more."
She raises her eyebrows at him. "There is?"
"You know I practically raised Alexis on my own because Meredith was never around. And no, I am not about to compare you to Meredith, so don't even start. You are a much better mother than that woman ever will be. But I sort of hate that I'm not at home all day with Savannah and Eric and that our parents and the nanny take turns watching them every day. I mean Eric is going to be starting Kindergarten in two years and –"
Kate squeezes his arm and he realizes she never really let go of it. "I get it. You miss being a stay-at-home dad. I want our kids to have the same kind of childhood that Alexis did. Although their mother will most definitely be in the picture, she just has to fight crime and save the world and stuff."
He smiles at her and pulls her into his arms.
"Oh no, Gates will see," she whispers in mock terror.
"You know, Kate, I think the two pregnancies and the wedding may have already outed us."
They look over in the direction of Gates' office. She glances over at them as she talks on the phone, and gives them a little knowing smile and shakes her head. Castle always knew she'd come around…eventually.
"It's been a hell of run, Castle."
"That it has. But don't worry; I'll be back for the really cool cases. Or you know when you need me to save your life again or something."
She laughs. "Promise?"
"Always."
AN: If the last word in the series finale isn't always I just might scream. But I probably won't because Marlowe knows what he's doing. Anyway, that finale is lightyears away so don't worry about it! Reviews welcome!