Jacob writing to Edward
My dad is forcing me to write to you, bloodsucker. It doesn't mean I like it, but he's forcing me. I don't know what he wants me to say. He wants me to apologize; that's what he says. I don't think I will. In fact, I am not at all sorry for insulting you or showing you disturbing mental pictures (we can't all read minds). I'm writing in pen so that my dad can't change what I say.
I guess I'd better apologize so he won't punish me. Here it goes. Bloodsucker, I am- He wants me to call you 'Edward'. Okay, Edward I am sincerely sorry for what I have done to you and what I have said to you. NOT! And I refuse to call you anything other then 'bloodsucker' (especially not 'vampire').
Jacob Black
Edward writing to Jacob
Carlisle, my adoptive father, is making me write back to apologize, dog. He hopes that I don't call you 'dog', but honestly, I don't care. He is making me apologize as well, but I won't either. Carlisle and your dad are strange thinking that natural enemies like me, a vampire, and you, a werewolf, could ever get along. I mean, your stench could be smelled from a mile away. I also refuse to call you anything other then 'dog' (especially not 'werewolf').
Edward Cullen
Jacob writing to Edward
My dad wants me to write back so I might apologize (I won't). You smell bad too, you know. But I had an idea, bloodsucker. Why don't we complain in our letters about how we hate writing to each other and since my dad watches over my shoulder (I don't know about 'Carlisle'…) they might stop making us write. So, here it goes. I hate writing these stupid letters! Don't you?
Jacob Black
Edward writing to Jacob
That is a great idea, dog. Carlisle doesn't think I know, but he always slips. Since I can read minds, I know that he always thinks something like, "Hmm, I'd better tell Esme, my lovely wife about – Oh no, Edward just walked in – I'd better not think about how I read his letter. Whoops! I just did." So, here it goes. I agree, I hate writing these pointless letters as well. I mean, the whole 'point' to them is so we become friends, but since that is never going to happen...…
Edward Cullen
Jacob writing to Edward
Exactly, bloodsucker! But sadly, my dad says "Well Jacob, at least you're agreeing on something!" I HATE WRITING THIS!!!
Jacob Black
Edward writing to Jacob
You know, we don't even have to write a paragraph, dog.
Edward Cullen
Jacob writing to Edward
You're right, bloodsucker. (For once.)
Jacob Black
Edward writing to Jacob
I know, but I've been right a lot more then once, dog.
Edward Cullen
Jacob writing to Edward
Sure, sure.
Jacob Black
A/N: Should I continue this? Review and let me know!