I was young and needed the money

by Rustyrye

just something me and my mate typed in science, we uploaded it because we thought it was funny, Please read and reveiw ! rated M for sex jokes and ultra-violence

Get a job-ben

Why?-dale

Money-ben

But why -dale

Money lets u buy crap-ben

WHY -dale

Because of economic reasons and buying crap is good-ben

You sound like our BIT borfuckingring-dale

She doesn't swear oh and how else will you get GTA 5-ben

I WILL BORROW IT AND NOT RTURN IT-dale

WHO WILL YOU BORROW IT FROM-ben

Rusty Galloway-dale

He to drunk to handle a video game-ben

Havemt you hered rusty is the woulds best gamer he plays while is drinking-dale

He doesent know what a video game is ! hes from 1947-ben

He only traved back in time o be on L.A NORIE now he is back in the future-dale

But that explains way to mutch ! Hes actually an alien-ben

BULL FUCKING SHIT-dale

NO TRUST ME, how else would he be able to survive getting run over twenty time bu cole phleps?-ben

Because he can because he is rusty drunkaway-dale

Well um, well I cant argue with that, maybe that's why he doesn't get promoted at all (bullshit)-ben

When was rusty last promoted when captain donally told to give up alcohol for a day rusty only lasted 15 minutes-dale

Its like telling a blind kid he's about to touch a cute bunny when really it's a porcupine-ben

Year rusty would totally do that -dale

Hell wouldn't even have to promote him hed do it for "three fingers of rye " or some other drug-ben

Then after that rusty would go to the black dahlia's house and say pore me three fingers of rye- dale

And then the dahlia would hire him to kill the dahlias next victim in exchange for a constant supply of booze-ben

Then rusty would give the dahlia tools to kill rusty's three ex wives-dale

And they'd become best buds just like that, so they both try to murder Cole Phelps-ben

Yes rusty and garret mason become drinking buddies-dale

Well mason is a barkeep, so yeah they'll never get caught with rusty destroying evidence (he'll crush it with his fat ass)-ben

So their arrangement is garret mason supply rusty three fingers of rye as a bribe to destroy evidence and garret does the killing and one pathetic day they will both kill Cole Phelps cause e took rusty's alcohol.-dale

And then Cole drank it himself the lousy hypocrite, yeah but that is their deal, we should write a fanfiction-ben

And roy earl will want to kill Cole Phelps cause Cole banded him from taking bribes-dale

And beckowski will join in because Cole stole his promotion and he called his suit stupid and that his car sucked.-ben

And because Hershel bigs will also want to kill Cole because Cole said he looked like a hobo with a stupid tie –dale

And ralph will want to kill him because Cole said he's stupid in the bank robbery-ben

Ralph also hates Cole cause Cole said you eat doughnuts like a pig-dale

Well he is a cop, and those people that through paper balls at him in the first traffic cse will want to kill him because he had a stupid suit-ben

And rusty wants to kill cole because cole called him finbar-dale

And captian donely will kill him because cole said the way the captain spoke was lame-ben

And cole's wive wants to kill cole cause he had an afire so cole's went and got fucked by rusty-dale

And coles kids will want to kill him because he said his daughter hair made her look like a homo-ben

And hershal bigs also went to fuck coles wive but she said you are to old-dale

And hopgood wants cole dead because he stole all of hopgoods drugs-ben

And hopgood also wants cole dead cause he stole his porn-dale

And Mr black from the first traffic case wants him dead because cole slept with his wife-ben

And Leroy wants cole dead cause cole sleepted lorna pattason from the second traffic case-dale

And jack kelso wants cole dead because cole ate his girlfriend, as in with a side of fries-ben

And dr harllan fontain also wants to kill cole because he slept with the receptionist from the dr's clinic-dale

And caurathers wants him dead because he stood in the blood in the second traffic case. –ben

And also mal curthers wants cole dead caue cole went to the morge and tap danced on mal' desk-dale

And caurathers also wants cole dead for sneaking into the morge and f ing the dahliahs victoms-ben

And ray pinker wants cole dead cause cole said to ray are you a paparizi lokking to f**k dead wemon-dale

And courtny Sheldon wants him dead because cole injected himself with all of the morphine, and yet cole is still alive-ben

Courtny wants cole dead cause cole stole curtny's morphine in the war-dale

And that sailor guy wants cole dead because cole accidently sunk his submarine, (its cole he probably fcked the submarine until it sunk.-ben

And that stupid old bag wants cole dead cause cole told her to grow up-dale

And the woman from the bowling ally want cole dead because he came back there drunk and burnt the bowling ally to the ground-ben

And hecheal bigs wants cole dead cause cole trashed the car and told bigs to shut up.-dale

And rustys tie will want him dead because cole stops and changes his suit every 5 fucking seconds-ben

And Rusty Galloway wants cole dead cause cole said you are a cheep ass with a 30$ suit.-dale

And john marston from red ded redemption wants him dead for not using a badass revoler-ben

and Beckowski will want to kill cole cause cole said he is unfit for duty on the first traffic case-dale

and spiderman will want cole dead because he slept wth mary jane,… eight times.-ben

and mr black wants cole dead cause cole went to seatile and slepet with hes girlfriend-dale

and the chick you tail in vice wats cole dead because he stole her underwear –ben

and richered bats wants cole dead cause cole said he had a fucked up face from the 4 homicide case-dale

and the kiddy raper wants Cole dead because cole did his job at the highschool-ben

and the hobo wants cole dead cause cole said he stinks and he should take a bath-dale

and the hobos want rusty dead because he stole their whisky-ben

and hobos also want rusty dead cause rusty shot them and called them rerated smelly fucks-dale

and caurathers want rutsy dead cause rusty got drunk and threw up on his corpses-ben

and floyed rose wants rutsy dead cause said he had a retarted last name-dale

and captin donnely wants him dead cause rusty said the way he talked was lmaking his ears bleed (side affect of three fingers of rye addiction)-ben

and garret mason wants cole dead cause cole said he had retated fucked up poems-dale

and jimmy Hopkins wants cole dead because he also slept wih his mum-ben

and cole's wife wants rusty dead cause rusty got so drunk he drove the nash though coles house and killed coles kids.-dale

and cole wants rusty dead because he stole all of his dog treats-ben

and cole also wants rusty dead cause rusty stole coles car and parked on hes desk at cetreal station-dale

and the dragonborn from skyrim wants rusty dead cause rusty got drunk and tried to take him in a bar fight-ben

and also garret mason wants cole dead cause cole said you can't kill for shit-dale

and we both want rusty dead because he stole our time machine-ben

and also garret mason wants captain donally dead cause captain donally stole garret masons socket wrench with blood on it and said nice paint job-dale

and captain donely wants garrot dead because he made the captain listen to cole ramble about his shitty-ass poems-ben

and Lars terelson wants garret mason dead cause garret slept with his wife 2 days before he killed her-dale

and everyone wants nicklsone electro plating wants rusty dead becase he the reason the building fucking exploded !-ben

and dick McColl wants garret dead cause garret said the red garnet ring was a fake and he said you are a low paying piece of shit hobo with a stupid haiwnan shirt-dale

and summers wants cole phelps dead cause he never pays his child support-ben

and Jacob henry wants dick McColl dead cause dick overcharged him for his booze-dale

and Jacob hennery's kids want cole dead because cole gave the pedo their address and he visited while daddy was in prison-ben

and Hugo Moller wants rusty dead cause rusty said you are a cheap skate that buys fake golden rings and watches and butterfly's for his slut wife-dale

and the gun salesman from the first patrol case wants cole dead becase he kees the crappy 1911 pistol, plus he shaaged his wife-ben

and egur callue wants cole dead cause cole did not pay the hooker fee.-dale

and the fireaxe in the police station wants cole dead because cole slept with its wife. (the water hose)-ben

and alburt leunch wants cole dead cause cole said your fire truck looks like a heap of shit-dale

and the cop who dosent shake cole's hand wants cole dead because he let rusty pour alcohol on the electric system.-ben

and lars terredson also wants rusty dead cause rusty hooked the Nash up to his boat and drove a away with it-dale

and the nash wants rusty dead because the car spent 9 years in jail for rusty-ben

and the nash also wants rusty dead cause rusty took a shit on the seat and pesed on the moter-dale

and the nash wants cole dead beause cole had a foursome on the back seat-ben

and the nash wants floyed rose dead cause floyed sat in it and fucked up the moter from weight problems-dale

and the guy who lent the book to that dead woman in homicide wants cole dead cause cole scribbled on his book with that fucking sharp pencil of his-ben

and the car from traffic wants cole dead cause cause cole and the movie producer from the last case fucked in the back seat.-dale

and the guy selling popcorn in vice wants cole dead cause cole decided he popcorn wasant buttery and yellow enough so he added a special liquid to fix this problem-ben

and coles father wants cole dead cause cole fucked someone on the boat and sunk the boat-dale

and those other guys in the marine barracks wanted him dead because cole crashed a helicopter into the female barracks and killed them all, their were no women left on base so they had to make due with eachother-ben

and rusty also wants to kill cole cause cole destroyed the Nash so cole borrowed a tank a crashed it into another car and rusty got whiplash-dale

and that guy who owns the antique store in street crime wants rusty dead because rusty threw up on a painting he had just bought (mona lisa)-ben

and roy earl wants cole dead cause cole stole his car and blew it up up and robbed roy's house for morphine-dale

and buzz lightyear wants cole AND rusty dead for bringing shame upon the space police name (rustys an alien remember ?) –ben

and jack kelso wants cole dead cause stole his steak in the army and fucked his sister.-dale

and that drill sargent wants cole dead because he had to sleep with jack kelso once all the women were dead.-ben

and the bus driver from the third homicide case wants cole dead cause cole fithsome in the back seat in the bus so the bus stunk forever-dale

and all the unnamed citazens oof laa want cole dead for killing their friends and family CONSTANTLY-ben

and the cab driver wants rusty dead from the third homicide case casue rusty was so drunk he got the nash and started to fuck the cab up-dale

and the nash wants EVERYONE dead as has been proven by our thousands of dollars in city damage prove-ben

and the cab from the third homicide case because rusty panted it black and brown because he thought it was a baby nash-dale

the brown on the cab wasant paint-ben

and roy also wants rusty dead cause rusty got the nash and rammed roys Cadillac and made it pregnet wow WTF-dale

and… no just seriously WTF car get pregnet ? what? how ?-ben

because rusty pored three fingars or fye on roys car and shited on it and rammed the nash into roys car WTF ?-dale

this is getting weird… 2090 words about la noire charcter killing eachother.. man is that sad.-ben

Wrote this in science together, we thought it was funny so we uploaded it

Hope it didn't make you too angry and sorry for the grammor (irony)